LogFAQs > #962050337

AldousIsDead posted...

Afraid of needles, or just taking the step?

I think its just the concept of a subcutaneous injection and the responsibility of administering my own injections that felt overwhelming at first, and when I watched the video I experienced a lot of trepidation when I contemplated doing it 52 times a year. It was strange having the block about injections because I have 15 piercings and a handful of tattoos, so I dont have a fear of needles. I think it has something to do with the fact that my mom used to do needle drugs, so even tho this is important medicine theres a slight degree to which I feel Im doing something wrong. I actually just put that together so Im really grateful for your question and the opportunity it presented to contemplate that, thank you.

I feel confident that this is my best shot at bringing my body into line with my perception of myself, so I dont think I hesitated based on a fear of taking that step, but my relationship to the idea of transitioning was kinda complicated until recently so I cant say there was not a single subconscious hang up about it.

I cant even really remember the last time I felt so much hope about the future, and lying here just being genuinely excited just to be alive. I always loved to joke about how I was born in the wrong time, like Id take my chances some time in history or would love a futuristic life free from the inconveniences that plague my existence; but I feel like I somehow stumbled into a series of moments that are specifically for me, moments that affirm that Im strong enough to be responsible for my own happiness.