LogFAQs > #970959818

I'm not looking to go TOO wall-of-text, especially when this match is so grossly lopsided. Without the pink ball, Kamek's team has nothing.

Unfortunately for our beloved Kirbo... here's what our new Mercs dragoon can do in one jump to a structure-sized mega-cannon:

https://youtu.be/pnlx3Wgvv_o?t=39

One high jump destroys a reinforced oil pipeline and makes the thing inoperable for hours.

That's a far weaker jump than what Kirby's about to deal with. Instead, he has this Dragonshadow Dive coming for him:

https://youtu.be/MB6n7wGFIBE?t=425

One-shots a prototype ultima weapon that was invincible to traditional methods of attack. That's the old version of it. But here's a look of what both he and his dragon buddy have in store:

https://youtu.be/zTTtd6bnhFs?t=122

That's the Dragonshadow Dive wielded by current Endwalker-era Estinien, preceded by a super fireball from Vrtra, one of the great wyrms of FF14. Those minions are pretty tough customers when you fight them in game, and he just clears them out like ants. Kirby has to deal with both in an ambush from above, let alone the poor bastards who end up near him at the time.

Even if you take Kirby to A) be in Zenos mode when the jump is coming and B) actually use Zenos-level Resonance and REFLEXES (TM) as well as the original source -- a damn hard sell imo -- Vrtra and Estinien are wise enough to just fall back if the plan fails and kite for five minutes. No shot Kirby manages to even hurt Estinien in that amount of time, on this terrain.

Gruntilda's Lair may not have been the best choice of terrain, honestly. Vrtra probably won't fit through the tunnels, being the large lad he is, but instead he can just wreak havoc on Kamek's team from the sky - and he's smart enough to just do that. The only one who could possibly get to him is Kirby.

Okay, enough of that, lets look at the rest of the lineup.

K. Rool has Kirby-style Garrus Mode. Thats pretty potent! Unfortunately, I dont buy this copy ability giving him the same tier of ridiculous guns that real Garrus has, and even if I did, I do not trust the crocs marksmanship. The dudes usual firearm shoots slow-moving cannonballs and has a suction mode attached to it. Hes probably not even ready for what burst fire is. Vrtra is a big target, yes, but heres the punishment one of Vrtras brothers, Nidhogg, can deal with:

https://youtu.be/XRLXlCjoE6g?t=66

Keep in mind that this is Nidhogg turbo-nerfed by the power of his own eye, plus only having one eye himself (which isnt even his), and he still survives getting skewered through the head by a trained dragonslayer, only truly dying once his spare eye gets taken from him. The eyes of FF14 great wyrm are their actual vital organs, and there are zero showings where someone can beat such a dragon without the power of their own dragon eye. Zero people on the enemy team are going to know that, and someone with K. Rools intellect isnt going to figure it out even if his second-life ambush were to matter.

Sagat is a tough customer if he can get in, but, uh, he cant. Tiger shots aint gonna do a damn thing to Vrtra, and Estinien has him outclassed even up close. Even then, he has to get through the wall that is Gael empowered with Vivi sword magic, and Haurchefant, a trained knight and protector of people even form swift-moving dragons, can cover a flank in to protect our sweet black mage boy.

Will Banjo touch anybody for a kill? No. Of course not. Jesus. Who is he even going to catch, moving at the pace he does with so few ranged options and nobody packing a way to lock any of my team down? He dies to the Dragonshadow Dive and Vrtra fireball, or any follow-up Vrtra fireballs after the jump resolves. Toasty.