LogFAQs > #971085819

*copies next writeup and gets a -10000 characters remaining message*

Oof. This is going to take a few posts by itself... and never once will it get back on topic:

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#198: Into the Woods (Original Broadway Cast) - It Takes Two (2:48):
https://open.spotify.com/track/7k4v4HQv7Xk8zrgI05LAlT?si=b79706ba6a0b42fe

Nominator: @Raka_Putra [15/31 Remaining]

Initial Score: 58.71
Revised Score: 58.71
Final Score: 58.71 [Upgraded to 64.1182] [Upgraded to 72.17] [Upgraded to 72.35]

(First Reaction: [A long, unrelated tangent has been moved to the end of the writeup and buried under spoiler text so that no one need bother reading it. We now return you to your regulardly scheduled writeup, already in progress:]

Aaaanywho..., this is a pretty nice traveling adventure song. People grow, mature, find renewed love for each other. All very nice. I like the female singer (Joanna Gleason), the person playing Baker feels like he's not quite as good, though he's certainly fine. Just a generally nice song that is enjoyable to listen to.

[Unrelated tangent below: I actually had to pause this song part way through as I got distracted with flashbacks to the attoricious third Chipmunks live-action film, Chipwrecked. There are definitely many, many better examples of "characters get lost or stranded somewhere and have to discover new aspects of themselves to survive", but apparently my dysfunctional mind is broken in a way that it relates everything to the Chipmunks.

And it wasn't even a good film! Even by Chipmunks standards, Chipwrecked is barely watchable. Basically the Chipmunks & Chipettes get stranded on a deserted island. The brainy male character (Simon) either eats something weird or gets infected or something and goes crazy, becoming a debonair & romantic adventurer. This makes him the troublemaker of the group and basically takes over Alvin's role; his female counterpart/love interest (Jeanette) gets injured and doesn't really contribute to anything, but Simon keeps talking about how beautiful she is, so she replaces Brittany as the beautiful character.

Blah blah blah, Alvin is forced to become responsible and learns that he can keep things in control when he has to & Brittany has to become the smart one, realizing that she's smarter than she knew and can be more than a pretty face. Simon doesn't really learn anything since his character development is spurred by insanity or whatever and I imagine Jeanette is probably going to have to deal with all sorts of problems--how do you deal with learning that you loved a loved one more when he was taken over by a different personality? How could the relationship ever go back to what it was before?? The answer is shut the fuck up and stop pretending any of this matters, but there's a serious furry relationship drama waiting to be told in the aftermath of this stupid film, and I feel people should know that.

...okay, no one should have to know that, but I've come too far to stop typing now! Err...where was I...

...oh right, right, right. You'll notice that only four of the six Chipmunks & Chipettes are mentioned in those paragraphs. Theodore & Eleanor might as well not even exist in the film, a point that the movie directly points out. Their caretaker/sorta-father-figure Dave is out searching for the kids, along with actor David Cross (technically reprising his role from the previous film as Ethan Hawke, I believe his name was; but there's no reason for him to be in the film at all that it might as well have been David Cross playing himself--Lord knows he hates the series and can't be bothered to actually act in it anyway,,,)

....what was I saying? Right, so Dave is talking to bored-as-fuck actor David Cross about what he imagines the Chipmunks are up to without him, juxtaposed with what's actually happening. He worries about Alvin, but Alvin's actually mature and doing well; he expects Simon to be smart, but Simon's brain damaged or whatever. And before Dave can even imagine what Theodore is doing, David Cross cuts him off--"I could barely pretend to care about the first two." (Line may not be exact, I'm certainly not rewatching the entire film just to get the direct quote).

The film has an actor--who does not want to be in the film--directly state that he can't even be bothered to pretend to care about what might be happening to the side characters. And since the side characters contribute fucking nothing to the film, it's not even really a joke! You can feel the utter contempt the scriptwriters have to even be working on the film. It is the only memorable scene in the entire thing and a rare moment of honesty--no one involved in this, from the writers to the actors, care even in the slightest.

And the damn film is still so much better than the fourth one! Do not get me started on Road Chip. 'Ooh, let's just write The Chipettes out of the film entirely and fuck it, let's basically just ditch everyone except Alvin, we didn't want to write scenes for the other two anyway, OoOoOhHhhHHHhH~!'

.........I was supposed to be talking about a song, wasn't I?)

!...After a couple months at this "only able to type one or two sentences" limitation, it is particularly jarring to look back upon the time when I had full use of my wrists & used my typing ability on that. Song is good; not quite something I like enough for the 60 point level, but definitely in the high 50's which is nothing to sneeze at.

[Final Thoughts: Song is good, whatever, I have a completely unrelated rage-filled tangent to finish. Spoilers for the live-action Chipmunk films because that's WHAT WE ARE DOING WITH OUR LIVES NOW.

Alright, you know what, I don't care about the crippling pain I will suffer from typing these deranged paragraphs. I don't even care that I don't remember the film clearly enough to have a valid opinion anymore. The Road Chip is absolute fucking garbage and I will literally destroy myself dying on this hill.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alvin_and_the_Chipmunks:_The_Road_Chip

The film grossed $234 million worldwide against a $90 million budget and received generally negative reviews from critics, although it was considered a slight improvement over its predecessor.

BY WHO? Give me the names of these vile abominations that dare be wrong about the ranking order of the live-action Chipmunk films! (The correct order is Squeakquel > the first film > Chipwrecked > Road Chip. I will accept people ranking Chipwrecked over the original because it has the Chipettes, even if the film and soundtrack are garbage.)

I... seriously, just look at some of this Road Chip nonsense:

The Chipmunks drug three squirrels and dress them up in their clothes to fool their hard-of-seeing neighbor Ms. Price, who was asked to look after them. The Chipmunks travel on a plane, but Theodore lets out a monkey, which then lets out several animals which cause an emergency landing and frustrates unscrupulous Air Marshal James Suggs, who is revealed to resent the Chipmunks because his girlfriend dumped him on Christmas for being so into them at the time, effectively eliminating his shot of becoming an FBI agent, so he puts them on the No Fly List

The film is pain. The description of the film is also pain. It is misery and suffering all the way down.

Any~way, forget that. I'll forgive the plot being trash. I'll forgive the lack of continuity (Dave has a new girlfriend and there's not even a throwaway line about what happened to his old love interest [in so far as I can recall; I'm not rewatching this], but she never had a personality or reason to exist in the series to begin with). What I will not forgive is Dave basically abandoning the Chipettes.

-continued-