LogFAQs > #973137381

Thanks for all the positive vibes guys.

Saskatchewan is a no go, our appeal was denied. So it means we will pursue out of province to BC. Some decent news on that front is that we will plan to go down to Vancouver on a Friday in June to do the second assessment, and assuming they give it a yes, they can do the procedure on the Sunday. The creamation service said they could complete their process and basically all they need is my payment and then urn and ashes would be mailed to me.

So near the end of June this process will likely be completed. Fills me with so many emotions when I think about it. I am both fearful and nervous but also like, ready for my wife to finally get what she wants and be able to move on with the next part of my life.

I still struggle with feelings of self loathing about even admitting to those feelings. Like I'm a bad person for being ready to move on and not be a care giver to a slowly dying wife. I am just one person and as strong as I know I am, even I will eventually hit a point where I just cannot be the care giver that my wife deserves. I am more fearful of that then the passing of my wife.

Like, if they decide my wife doesn't get MAID in June, I don't know how much longer I can keep up with being the amazing care giver I have been. How long can I do this effectively?