LogFAQs > #973849662

DarthDemented posted...

My situation was different. It was thrust on me. I didn't have the prep time you've had. Yes my wife was in a shitty situation where privately I thought death was better for her than laying in that bed 24/7. When I was presented with it so suddenly it crushed me. You know how you see in Hollywood where the characters drop to the floor crying or wailing and you think "now that's a bit much isn't it?" Well it happened after she left with the funeral home director. I understand your desire to be out of the caretaker role and back to your old life but once it's gone you don't know what to do with yourself. I should've really started plowing through my video game back log but I just watched TV and ready to get up to help her knowing it was never coming. Getting out of that head space is harder than you think. You'll probably stop sleeping in your bedroom. I let my son have my wife's bedroom, the master bedroom btw, because that's where it all happened and I just couldn't be in there. I hope I answered your questions. I did kinda wall of text here. I hope you two make your remaining time the best ever and she goes out happy and feeling completely and truly loved. Btw how did that tattoo design come out? I kinda lost track of that one.

I have been working with my psychologist about the whole like... who am I outside of being a caregiver to my wife. Like, realistically, I have lived and worked pretty much exclusively to take care of her for the past 6-7 years. Beyond being a widow after my wife passes... like, who am I? I know I am good at my job, I know I am a good friend, a good member of my family. But who am I outside of that? I'm not co-dependent or anything like that, but I've definitely become the caregiver to my wife more than anything else.

It scares me that people who know me as a pair will only really know me moving forward as a widow, as half of a whole.