LogFAQs > #978603907

First five songs coming right up! No one guessed them right!

=====I DISAGREE=====

This is a tier of songs that I maintained dislike for one reason or another. There were a whole set of songs that started off here, but grew over repeated listens and attempts at write-ups, and these just stuck to the bottom like muck. The best thing I can say about this tier is that it was easy to write-up and to rank. There are roughly fortyish songs after this tier that have been horrendous to rank against each other and write-up. These had the decency of just being unredemptive. I thank them for their sacrifice.

#120. Cherry Chapstick
Artist: Yo La Tengo
Nomination: tazzyboyishere (5/5)
Time: 6:12
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSov0dYA2ho
Initial Rankings: Batch 2 - 14/15 (F) & Rubric 15
Weighted Rankings: Red 16/16

There are a few other songs that could've slid into the bottom spot, but this one takes it because it just annoys me more and more with each listen. It starts off well enough! The first minute or so might hop twenty or so spots to another tier of okay but forgettable songs. There'd still be some wariness with the strangled guitars and heavy muffle of sound the voice gets lost in, and then the whole thing becomes a tangled, chaotic, corrupted, whining mess. It picks back up and there's hope, but it'll do it again later and I just really dislike it. I don't care what the song is about. It disappoints and annoys and aggravates and I am happy to remove it immediately from any future listens.

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#119. The Art of Solemn Enmity
Artist: Gorguts
Nomination: rwlh (5/5)
Time: 4:20
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1z2OlRFeZtQ
Initial Rankings: Batch 2 - 15/15 (F) & Rubric 15
Weighted Rankings: Red 15/16

"Metal." - First listen note

The Art of Solemn Enmity's being worse throughout the entire song puts it above Cherry Chapstick because it's brash and awful from start to finish instead of teasing something that could pass as okay from the start. It's a wall of noise and hoarse screaming. Death metal is definitely not my genre. There is the art of loving, the art of forgetting, and the art of solemn enmity. Which this definitely is. A resigned disdain.

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#118. Anywhere Is
Artist: Enya
Nomination: ZaziGuado (5/5)
Time: 3:45
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZ98IJ0usoE
Initial Rankings: Batch 5 - 13/15 (D-) & Rubric 16
Weighted Rankings: Orange 16/16

I don't listen to enough Enya to know if all her music sounds like "Only Time," but this is like teasing "Only Time" but just looping the same bah-bah-bah-bah-ba-BAH, bah-bah-buh-buh-buh-bo-bah over and over. I remember in The Mole's second season that "Tiny Bubbles" on loop was used as a form of torture for a contestant; I imagine "Anywhere Is" being a hundred times worse. I cannot listen to this again. I do not want 'emotion on the ocean' becoming a kernel lodged in my brain that'll pop someday into an aneurysm. I can at the very, very least appreciate the messaging, but the delivery is one repetitive, fake-ending direction, no matter this or that way.

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#117. Atlas Earth Ad Song
Nomination: paulg235 (5/5)
Time: 0:30
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPcnj2q1EDw
Initial Rankings: Batch 3 - 15/15 (F) & Rubric 16
Weighted Rankings: Red 14/16

"Why" - First listen note

I-I-I-I just can't believe I didn't it rank it first! Now I'm facing backlash with all readers; got virtually no reason it's ranked so low, ranked so low. This list is derisible, should I give up? The blow up is visible, fall a couple more, watch my topic dry up, it's about to go nuts, about to go nuts.

Now I'm being sarcastic about Atlas Earth. It's bad. And catchy. I removed "Anywhere Is" before it became an earworm, but this was a Yeerk wrapped in my brainfolds from the first moment I heard it. Twenty years from now this song will trigger and I'll feel resigned shame.

There are a few bright spots, however, with first and foremost being the thirty second length. That alone keeps it out of last place, unlike how Cherry Chapstick somehow goes for six minutes. Another is how much a comment on this video is so right about this being a great artifact of 2019-2020: scammy game ads, terrible Tiktok filters, NFT delusions, auto-tuned to hell. Also, his excitement about being able to pay rent when his income is going up a fraction of a fraction of cent... yeaaaah. There is some schadenfreude.

It still sucks though.

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#116. Sexy Sexy
Artist: Cascade
Nomination: handsomeboy2012 (3/3)
Time: 4:00
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mA3-eUekq5k
Initial Rankings: Batch 5 - 15/15 (F) & Rubric 16
Weighted Rankings: Red 13/16

I'm struggling to say exactly it is I don't like. I don't like the singer's voice, I don't like the music, I can't unhear the Buster Bunny tongue strumming in the background, I don't like the 'shexy shexy' or 'i need you i need you.' One random note, and this is almost assuredly a broken pathway in my brain, is that it made me think of Tunak Tunak Tun when Daler Mehndi's gods are dancing toward and back from the camera. Happened multiple listens. But now that I've watched Tunak Tunak Tun for the first time in a few months and tried to pinpoint where in the song I was thinking, it's disappeared. I think my brain was reaching out to something I enjoyed to spare me from this.