LogFAQs > #979818292

super_felicia posted...

I had that with my nan partner I am such a dickhead! I got ill and stopped being comfy around anyone besides my nana and he got hit with the shyness of me quite hard. He started with quips about me and I got annoyed with him then he called me a big stupid lazy idiot cos I didnt help him and my nana with carrying something and I started crying about it so my nana told him we made up but not really tbh. I cried again cos of my paranoid thoughts my nana brother was there saying hes gonna put someone in the grave and I was really upset by that cos of how I thought it was a jab at me for absolutely no reason and he was hinting at doing it to me. My nana brother is so funny and nice he seldom talks to me about things though but what would we say anyway besides his usual how are yous? My nanas partner like embraced me and hugged me and i was so emotional cos of how I behaved so untalkative to him and I didnt deserve his love. I didnt say anything of this. I thanked him and now we are less strained. I showed him my review YouTube video of fire emblem engage he said to me
thats not your actual is it? You sound so clear why dont you talk that clear normally? I sounded like how I talk only with my nana and when hes not there. I said about it being a confidence thing and now it feels a lot better talking to him even if we are nowhere near as close as before my mental illness making me so shy

to add these events were from 2017 to incredibly recent when I made that YouTube video

My guilt is more that I feel like I attributed to people's (and fuzzies) deaths

Not like murder, though, nothing like that