LogFAQs > #980383739

Does anyone have access to a template 'speech' or 'contract' or know how to tell someone that they can't have any drugs, paraphernalia, smoking, or vaping, while they live inside my building/home, without using 'judgemental' language? I've been researching online for 2 days now without finding much that is useful. Most of the advice is about personal boundaries, rather than physical boundaries regarding drugs and smoking.

I agreed to let my sister stay at my place, but we haven't confronted her about her drug use. We found meth, burnt credit card, residue, razors, and straws littered at her place. She has been hospitalized for almost a month going through meth withdrawal, and an infection in her leg, and now she's planning on moving back into my family's building.

My 43yo sister was diagnosed with schizo-affective disorder around 11 years ago and supposedly takes medication for it. She is prone to anger and spite whenever someone doesn't do what she wants. "You're always trying to control me..." has been her go-to line for the past 28 years of her life. I wish we had realized this about her condition much earlier.

But I want to make sure to set boundaries and inform her that we will only let her stay as long as she doesn't have any drugs, paraphernalia, and doesn't smoke or vape, inside or within 15 feet of the building. How do I say this without using language that 'limits' her choice, so she can't accuse us of 'controlling' her?