LogFAQs > #986425330

LurkerFAQs, Active Database ( 12.01.2023-present ), DB1, DB2, DB3, DB4, DB5, DB6, DB7, DB8, DB9, DB10, DB11, DB12, Clear

Topic List	Page List: 1
Topic	Girlfriend and I are on a "break"
adjl 09/15/25 6:58:14 PM #40:	Stimpy posted... Relationships are far more nuanced than a message board post can convey. Not nuanced enough for "looking weak" by acknowledging that you made a mistake to ever be a meaningful consideration. A relationship where you're afraid to correct your mistakes because of how you'll look to your partner is not a healthy adult relationship, at least not past the initial stages of trying to impress each other. That fear means you don't trust them to accept your flaws, and that trust is crucial for a long-term relationship given that you aren't going to be able to hide those flaws forever (or if you do, it's going to be taxing enough on you to be unhealthy). Stimpy posted... Letting her cool her heals for a few weeks was how I got her in the first place. In her own words it made me want you more. Giving her some breathing room for two wks aint gonna kill her. Trying out not having a prospective partner around to test the waters of a new relationship is pretty reasonable. Starting a relationship is a commitment, and having a more immediate comparison to "prospective partner not here" can help evaluate it. Playing such games when you've been together long enough for marriage to be an option, though? If she doesn't know she wants you already, a few weeks isn't going to change that (or if it does, you're looking at a long-term cycle of having to keep playing this game to keep her interest up). Salrite posted... And even if it were valid and she was feeling like he was moving too fast, she should be communicating this properly, not shutting down and playing games. Absolutely, but I'm still getting the vibe that things aren't necessarily the healthiest from TC's end either. That's not necessarily contributing to the issue immediately at hand, but it does raise broader concerns. Salrite posted... And no, sticking to your convictions is not something to be ashamed of. It's what anyone should be obligated to do. Sticking to your convictions when you have good reason to believe those convictions are mistaken is absolutely something to be ashamed of. That's axiomatically a terrible idea in every possible context and nobody should ever do it. --- This is my signature. It exists to keep people from skipping the last line of my posts. <cite>adjl posted [p:986425330] in Girlfriend... [t:81039625]...</cite> <quote>Stimpy posted... </cite><quote>Relationships are far more nuanced than a message board post can convey.</quote>Not nuanced enough for "looking weak" by acknowledging that you made a mistake to ever be a meaningful consideration. A relationship where you're afraid to correct your mistakes because of how you'll look to your partner is not a healthy adult relationship, at least not past the initial stages of trying to impress each other. That fear means you don't trust them to accept your flaws, and that trust is crucial for a long-term relationship given that you aren't going to be able to hide those flaws forever (or if you do, it's going to be taxing enough on you to be unhealthy).Stimpy posted... </cite><quote>Letting her cool her heals for a few weeks was how I got her in the first place. In her own words it made me want you more. Giving her some breathing room for two wks aint gonna kill her.</quote>Trying out not having a prospective partner around to test the waters of a new relationship is pretty reasonable. Starting a relationship is a commitment, and having a more immediate comparison to "prospective partner not here" can help evaluate it. Playing such games when you've been together long enough for marriage to be an option, though? If she doesn't know she wants you already, a few weeks isn't going to change that (or if it does, you're looking at a long-term cycle of having to keep playing this game to keep her interest up).Salrite posted... </cite><quote>And even if it were valid and she was feeling like he was moving too fast, she should be communicating this properly, not shutting down and playing games.</quote>Absolutely, but I'm still getting the vibe that things aren't necessarily the healthiest from TC's end either. That's not necessarily contributing to the issue immediately at hand, but it does raise broader concerns.Salrite posted... </cite><quote>And no, sticking to your convictions is not something to be ashamed of. It's what anyone should be obligated to do.</quote>Sticking to your convictions when you have good reason to believe those convictions are mistaken is absolutely something to be ashamed of. That's axiomatically a terrible idea in every possible context and nobody should ever do it. --- This is my signature. It exists to keep people from skipping the last line of my posts.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Topic List	Page List: 1