Current Events > "Parents should never spank their kids."

(+) Yeah! (+)

Sami1000 posted...

Bullying should lead to getting expelled.

Kicking children out of school benefits no one. That is not sensible discipline. You're not teaching a kid a lesson. You're damning him for life for being a shithead kid.
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Howl posted...

LordRazziel posted...

Howl posted...

LordRazziel posted...

Howl posted...

thronedfire2 posted...

Howl posted...

I'm glad most of you will never have kids tbh.

People who can't figure out how to discipline a kid without hitting them shouldn't have kids.

but you're probably just trolling anyway. this topic gets done at least once a month

I know how to discipline without spanking. I have a 7 year old and a baby. I've only spanked the 7 year old a few times in her life. Once was because she slapped my wife in the face. Once was because she threw a ball through her window and broke it. That's it and that was only because it was extreme situations that warranted it.

Don't hit or I'll hit you.
Also shows hitting is a way to assert yourself.

That's not the message at all. The message is not to do things to hurt people or property or you will have consequences. Children are smart enough to understand this, especially when it is explained to them exactly like that.

What about all the studies that say the opposite?
Why do you know better than people with M.D.'s and PhD's that have conducted peer reviewed studies?

Can you show me even one that has been done where the parents actually explained what they were doing properly to the child at the time?

I can't.
How do you explain it to them in away that will negate the affects? Don't you think they understand it's a punishment?
Can you tell me the benefit of of hitting them?
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as someone who was never beaten by their parents, what are suitable ways to punish misbehaving children

because whenever mine took something away or told me time out or something I'd just find some other way to entertain myself with ease, usually daydream, and in my school days I loved detention because it was the quietest place to be at lunch which was perfect for sleeping and suspension was great because it meant I could daydream all day

hockeybub89 posted...

averagejoel posted...

https://news.utexas.edu/2016/04/25/risks-of-harm-from-spanking-confirmed-by-researchers

AUSTIN, Texas The more children are spanked, the more likely they are to defy their parents and to experience increased anti-social behavior, aggression, mental health problems and cognitive difficulties, according to a new meta-analysis of 50 years of research on spanking by experts at The University of Texas at Austin and the University of Michigan.

The study, published in this months Journal of Family Psychology, looks at five decades of research involving over 160,000 children. The researchers say it is the most complete analysis to date of the outcomes associated with spanking, and more specific to the effects of spanking alone than previous papers, which included other types of physical punishment in their analyses.

"But I was spanked and turned out fine"
"Beating =/= spanking. They are probably confusing the two"
"Spanking done right is done with love"
"Hell, I was beaten, my childhood sucked, and I hate my father, but at least I learned how to be an adult"
"Because science has never been wrong before"
"Because scientists have never been paid off before"
"Statistics don't truly reflect reality"
"*farting noises*"

kids start jumpng on top of a chair
after telling him stop your are going to hurt yourself

the kid doesnt stop

and the choices are spanking or let him fall and get 2 stiches ( again)

of course id choose spanking
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Is that a serious post, marc55? You can only think of those 2 choices?
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marc55 posted...

hockeybub89 posted...

averagejoel posted...

https://news.utexas.edu/2016/04/25/risks-of-harm-from-spanking-confirmed-by-researchers

AUSTIN, Texas The more children are spanked, the more likely they are to defy their parents and to experience increased anti-social behavior, aggression, mental health problems and cognitive difficulties, according to a new meta-analysis of 50 years of research on spanking by experts at The University of Texas at Austin and the University of Michigan.

The study, published in this months Journal of Family Psychology, looks at five decades of research involving over 160,000 children. The researchers say it is the most complete analysis to date of the outcomes associated with spanking, and more specific to the effects of spanking alone than previous papers, which included other types of physical punishment in their analyses.

"But I was spanked and turned out fine"
"Beating =/= spanking. They are probably confusing the two"
"Spanking done right is done with love"
"Hell, I was beaten, my childhood sucked, and I hate my father, but at least I learned how to be an adult"
"Because science has never been wrong before"
"Because scientists have never been paid off before"
"Statistics don't truly reflect reality"
"*farting noises*"

kids start jumpng on top of a chair
after telling him stop your are going to hurt yourself

the kid doesnt stop

and the choices are spanking or let him fall and get 2 stiches ( again)

of course id choose spanking

How are those the only choices?
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thronedfire2 posted...

beating dogs totally works too right

Yup
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marc55 posted...

hockeybub89 posted...

averagejoel posted...

https://news.utexas.edu/2016/04/25/risks-of-harm-from-spanking-confirmed-by-researchers

AUSTIN, Texas The more children are spanked, the more likely they are to defy their parents and to experience increased anti-social behavior, aggression, mental health problems and cognitive difficulties, according to a new meta-analysis of 50 years of research on spanking by experts at The University of Texas at Austin and the University of Michigan.

The study, published in this months Journal of Family Psychology, looks at five decades of research involving over 160,000 children. The researchers say it is the most complete analysis to date of the outcomes associated with spanking, and more specific to the effects of spanking alone than previous papers, which included other types of physical punishment in their analyses.

"But I was spanked and turned out fine"
"Beating =/= spanking. They are probably confusing the two"
"Spanking done right is done with love"
"Hell, I was beaten, my childhood sucked, and I hate my father, but at least I learned how to be an adult"
"Because science has never been wrong before"
"Because scientists have never been paid off before"
"Statistics don't truly reflect reality"
"*farting noises*"

kids start jumpng on top of a chair
after telling him stop your are going to hurt yourself

the kid doesnt stop

and the choices are spanking or let him fall and get 2 stiches ( again)

of course id choose spanking

Such a weird line of thinking.

My daughter was literally doing this today. I took her off the chair, sat her in the corner and told her it was dangerous. She didn't do it again. My son was also present and later on I heard him warning his sister about jumping on the chair as she went past it to go into the kitchen. Kids are extremely impressional and as an adult you have a duty as a role model to teach them not only how to behave but also how to approach problems. My parents spanked me until I was about 9 or 10. They stopped when they realised I was hitting my brother and sister when I thought they were misbehaving. Obviously a certain level of discipline is important when raising kids but the physical variety is a one size fits all crutch that sends the wrong message in almost any situation.

The problem is there is no way to isolate based on spanking or not being the only factor. Kids grow up in different environments. Spanking can be an effective form of discipline, but should not be the first choice. When it is used, it is important that the child is taught what a more appropriate response would be and why that is.

Spanking does not equal abuse automatically like some people seem to believe. If marks are left I would classify it as abuse. If it is just a little redness it is not abuse.

During my time of growing up it was commonplace for kids to be spanked, sometimes with an implement such as a paddle. Parents were in much more control of their kids back then. It seems like a lot of kids, particularly teens, control parents instead of the other way around in this new age.

For what it is worth, pretty much all of my friends and I would rather get spanked than be grounded for a week when we were growing up.
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LordRazziel posted...

I can't.
How do you explain it to them in away that will negate the affects? Don't you think they understand it's a punishment?
Can you tell me the benefit of of hitting them?

You're the one that there are studies that show the opposite of what I said. The benefits of spanking are obvious in circumstances like the ones I mentioned. When kids do something outrageous they need an immediate comsequence that they can relate to that behavior.

The way you explain it to them is by outright telling them that being spanked is a consequence of hurting a person or damaging property.

The reason you can't provide evidence that that type of spanking is damaging psychologically to children is because there has never been a study like that conducted. Therefore there is no scientific research that indicates that it is pschologically damaging to a child.
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spank me daddy
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LordRazziel posted...

How are those the only choices?

people who hit their kids aren't really that great at making sensible decisions
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All spanking does is make kids not want to bring problems to the parents and be more sneaky.
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it's always crazy to me that literally every expert and study says not to do it and a bunch of fucks think they know more
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CasualGuy posted...

LordRazziel posted...

How are those the only choices?

people who hit their kids aren't really that great at making sensible decisions

so you think if a kid doesnt stop doing something you should let them kill or injure themselves if they dont stop doing it when you tell them to
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marc55 posted...

CasualGuy posted...

LordRazziel posted...

How are those the only choices?

people who hit their kids aren't really that great at making sensible decisions

so you think if a kid doesnt stop doing something you should let them kill or injure themselves if they dont stop doing it when you tell them to

I think you should be a good parent and use that thing in your head to come up with a solution to get them to stop doing it without hitting them

it might be difficult, but I believe in you
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marc55 posted...

CasualGuy posted...

LordRazziel posted...

How are those the only choices?

people who hit their kids aren't really that great at making sensible decisions

so you think if a kid doesnt stop doing something you should let them kill or injure themselves if they dont stop doing it when you tell them to

Options:

>let kid injure/kill self
>spank

End of list.

Explain why the list ends after 2 options.
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prince_leo posted...

it's always crazy to me that literally every expert and study says not to do it and a bunch of fucks think they know more

It's crazy to me that there has never been a scientific study done in which parents properly explain the reason they are spanking a child when they do it, yet people like you automatically dismiss all forms of spanking as abusive and claim that it has been scientifically proven without a shred of evidence to back up that claim.
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Howl posted...

LordRazziel posted...

I can't.
How do you explain it to them in away that will negate the affects? Don't you think they understand it's a punishment?
Can you tell me the benefit of of hitting them?

You're the one that there are studies that show the opposite of what I said. The benefits of spanking are obvious in circumstances like the ones I mentioned. When kids do something outrageous they need an immediate comsequence that they can relate to that behavior.

The way you explain it to them is by outright telling them that being spanked is a consequence of hurting a person or damaging property.

The reason you can't provide evidence that that type of spanking is damaging psychologically to children is because there has never been a study like that conducted. Therefore there is no scientific research that indicates that it is pschologically damaging to a child.

So know better than the medical and scientific community.
Guess there is no changing your mind. The negative affects are clear. Kids aren't dumb, they understand they're being spanked as a consequence of their actions. If you think, telling them that removes all the documented nevative effects, there isn't anything anyone can tell you.
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Howl posted...

prince_leo posted...

it's always crazy to me that literally every expert and study says not to do it and a bunch of fucks think they know more

It's crazy to me that there has never been a scientific study done in which parents properly explain the reason they are spanking a child when they do it, yet people like you automatically dismiss all forms of spanking as abusive and claim that it has been scientifically proven without a shred of evidence to back up that claim.

if there's a way to explain things you no longer need to hit children to convey the message

jeez
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Howl posted...

It's crazy to me that there has never been a scientific study done in which parents properly explain the reason they are spanking a child when they do it, yet people like you automatically dismiss all forms of spanking as abusive and claim that it has been scientifically proven without a shred of evidence to back up that claim.

I don't think all spanking is abuse, just that even the best form of spanking is inferior to other forms of discipline
And also that kids do not need to be spanked in order to understand what they did was wrong and to not do it again
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It's unnecessary. And unnecessary physical punishment should be avoided.

Howl posted...

prince_leo posted...

it's always crazy to me that literally every expert and study says not to do it and a bunch of fucks think they know more

It's crazy to me that there has never been a scientific study done in which parents properly explain the reason they are spanking a child when they do it, yet people like you automatically dismiss all forms of spanking as abusive and claim that it has been scientifically proven without a shred of evidence to back up that claim.

except you know that study with a sample size of 160k Which is scientific, unlike anything you have said.
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ImTheMacheteGuy posted...

marc55 posted...

CasualGuy posted...

LordRazziel posted...

How are those the only choices?

people who hit their kids aren't really that great at making sensible decisions

so you think if a kid doesnt stop doing something you should let them kill or injure themselves if they dont stop doing it when you tell them to

Options:

>let kid injure/kill self
>spank

End of list.

Explain why the list ends after 2 options.

you forgot thats after trying to get the kid to stop by telling them to

Paper_Okami posted...

except you know that study with a sample size of 160k Which is scientific, unlike anything you have said.

i think he meant something was missing in the study

dont that kind of thing get different results based on the questions you ask?
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Howl posted...

prince_leo posted...

it's always crazy to me that literally every expert and study says not to do it and a bunch of fucks think they know more

It's crazy to me that there has never been a scientific study done in which parents properly explain the reason they are spanking a child when they do it, yet people like you automatically dismiss all forms of spanking as abusive and claim that it has been scientifically proven without a shred of evidence to back up that claim.

I respect what you're saying but your argument is very similar to the one people use to defend communism. Ie 'the idea is right but the implementation is wrong etc.' The problem is that the vast majority of parents who spank their kids don't do so constructively and responsibly and if they did, this could be assumed in the scientific studies and it still wouldn't support spanking.

I tried all this BS with my two year old. When he pushed my daughter down the stairs I talked to him and explained how that was wrong and put him in time out. Two hours later he did it again. I spanked him and told him to never push his sister down ever again.

Year and a half later he hasn't pushed her down.

prince_leo posted...

Howl posted...

It's crazy to me that there has never been a scientific study done in which parents properly explain the reason they are spanking a child when they do it, yet people like you automatically dismiss all forms of spanking as abusive and claim that it has been scientifically proven without a shred of evidence to back up that claim.

I don't think all spanking is abuse, just that even the best form of spanking is inferior to other forms of discipline
And also that kids do not need to be spanked in order to understand what they did was wrong and to not do it again

Imo it can be an effective tool at creating an immediate response in a child in extreme circumnstances when properly used. It's like I said I have only spanked my daughter twice, because I do believe that there are generally more effective means for punishment than spanking in most circumstances. What it really comes down to is being good parents in general and good parents will generally raise good children regardless of the means of discipline that they administer. The wider issue is of course that most parents today simply are awful parents in general. I kind of made the OP in a tongue and cheek manner anyway.
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ToonLinkWithGun posted...

I tried all this BS with my two year old. When he pushed my daughter down the stairs I talked to him and explained how that was wrong and put him in time out. Two hours later he did it again. I spanked him and told him to never push his sister down ever again.

Year and a half later he hasn't pushed her down.

Do you believe that was the only way to accomplish that? I don't mean that in a snide way, I'm just curious.

for stuff like the kid putting themselves or others in danger spanking is a good option

for other stuff like picking up their toys after playing there are other choices........my mom was strict with that one
she told me to pick them up

i didnt and........she picked them up and threw them to the trash bag

i found out days later when i was searching for the toys , she told me at first i didnt believe her but i never saw those again

after that all she had to do is remind me about it to get me to pick up all my toys !
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Comfy_Pillow posted...

ToonLinkWithGun posted...

I tried all this BS with my two year old. When he pushed my daughter down the stairs I talked to him and explained how that was wrong and put him in time out. Two hours later he did it again. I spanked him and told him to never push his sister down ever again.

Year and a half later he hasn't pushed her down.

Do you believe that was the only way to accomplish that? I don't mean that in a snide way, I'm just curious.

I think the situation called for it. Looking back I should have done it the first time since he literally could have killed his sister.

Oh and just for shits and giggles the most interesting thing about this issue was that in the article itself it says that 80% of people in the world spank their children.

That fact alone is a case study in and of itslef that discredits the article and the entirety of the research they are speaking of ironically. If spanking is so psycohologically damaging to children and 6 billion people in the world spank their children then there should logically be a much higher rate of all the factors they claim are associated with spanking.

This of course isn't the case, but that will never be mentioned by people in the business of espousing an ideology they have already decided on.

https://news.utexas.edu/2016/04/25/risks-of-harm-from-spanking-confirmed-by-researchers
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Howl posted...

says that 80% of people in the world spank their children.

well i mean there are a lot of people in the world who have mental health issues sooo
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I was spanked, smacked, hit with a belt when I was a kid. Never got in trouble.

My younger brother never hit or anything and he's a fucking terror of a teenager. Literally one of those kids the tide pod generation exemplifies

And literally the same with my girlfriend. Her younger brother is 22 and still lives at home with no drivers license, friends, or job
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Howl posted...

Oh and just for shits and giggles the most interesting thing about this issue was that in the article itself it says that 80% of people in the world spank their children.

The majority of the world also believes in deities. The majority of the world doesn't know what the hell they are talking about.
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darkprince45 posted...

Literally one of those kids the tide pod generation exemplifies

Like 4 people is not a generation.

It's a damn shame you think you had to be abused (since you said more than spanking) for your entire childhood to be a decent person. I am sorry you went through that. I can relate. I turned out fine too but I would never do that to a child.
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darkprince45 posted...

I was spanked, smacked, hit with a belt when I was a kid. Never got in trouble.

My younger brother never hit or anything and he's a fucking terror of a teenager. Literally one of those kids the tide pod generation exemplifies

And literally the same with my girlfriend. Her younger brother is 22 and still lives at home with no drivers license, friends, or job

A whole generation of people ate tide pods?
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hockeybub89 posted...

Howl posted...

Oh and just for shits and giggles the most interesting thing about this issue was that in the article itself it says that 80% of people in the world spank their children.

The majority of the world also believes in deities. The majority of the world doesn't know what the hell they are talking about.

Not to mention, there was a time when the majority of the world thought the world was flat and drank unpurified, unfiltered water.
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My father threw a shoe at my face because I kept on sneaking into my parents' bed at night while sleepwalking.

I turned out alright.
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ToonLinkWithGun posted...

Comfy_Pillow posted...

ToonLinkWithGun posted...

I tried all this BS with my two year old. When he pushed my daughter down the stairs I talked to him and explained how that was wrong and put him in time out. Two hours later he did it again. I spanked him and told him to never push his sister down ever again.

Year and a half later he hasn't pushed her down.

Do you believe that was the only way to accomplish that? I don't mean that in a snide way, I'm just curious.

I think the situation called for it. Looking back I should have done it the first time since he literally could have killed his sister.

I mean I get it. I do. I'm just not going to negotiate with a child.
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hockeybub89 posted...

darkprince45 posted...

Literally one of those kids the tide pod generation exemplifies

Like 4 people is not a generation.

It's a damn shame you think you had to be abused (since you said more than spanking) for your entire childhood to be a decent person. I am sorry you went through that. I can relate. I turned out fine too but I would never do that to a child.

I don't feel any resentment or feel I went through anything. I was just being a little shithead kid or did something like swear at my mom. They never bruised me or made me cry. I don't think it was a big deal at all. That's how every Mexican family I knew was growing up too
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It depends on the parent. There should always be consequences for bad behavior. With me I just take away things and I don't think I would unless they retaliated against me. Like my friend took away her son's switch due to bad grades, he then stole money from her purse. I wouldn't tolerate that at all, so I'd probably chop off the hand they stole with.
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It's kind of scary how a decent amount of people who were hit as children are so adamant that it had to be why they "turned out fine". It's the same mentality many abuse victims have. "If they put me through that, then it had to be for a good reason and everyone else is lying."
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ImTheMacheteGuy posted...

hockeybub89 posted...

Howl posted...

Oh and just for shits and giggles the most interesting thing about this issue was that in the article itself it says that 80% of people in the world spank their children.

The majority of the world also believes in deities. The majority of the world doesn't know what the hell they are talking about.

Not to mention, there was a time when the majority of the world thought the world was flat and drank unpurified, unfiltered water.

The point is that the majority do not have children who have mental disorders as the science presented seems to suggest would happen if there were an actual causal relationship of spanking to mental disorders.
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Captain_Qwark posted...

darkprince45 posted...

I was spanked, smacked, hit with a belt when I was a kid. Never got in trouble.

My younger brother never hit or anything and he's a fucking terror of a teenager. Literally one of those kids the tide pod generation exemplifies

And literally the same with my girlfriend. Her younger brother is 22 and still lives at home with no drivers license, friends, or job

Does/did your younger brother ever receive any kind of significant consequences? I think along with spanking you (and most of us who grew up in the late 80s/early 90s) got spanked as well as other significant consequences.

I work in schools and from what I can tell a lot of the more troublesome kids don't really have ANY consequences for their bad behavior at home. I personally don't believe you need to get hit to turn into a functional/decent person but you definitely need consequences of some sort while growing up.

People are really missing this point. Kids that behave poorly are typically spoiled rotten or have no real parental presence. It's not because parents talking to their kids and punish them forget to throw in some spanking first.
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Howl posted...

ImTheMacheteGuy posted...

hockeybub89 posted...

Howl posted...

Oh and just for shits and giggles the most interesting thing about this issue was that in the article itself it says that 80% of people in the world spank their children.

The majority of the world also believes in deities. The majority of the world doesn't know what the hell they are talking about.

Not to mention, there was a time when the majority of the world thought the world was flat and drank unpurified, unfiltered water.

The point is that the majority do not have children who have mental disorders as the science presented seems to suggest would happen if there were an actual causal relationship of spanking to mental disorders.

That isn't as all what the science presents. Yeah, that's a possibility I guess, but they also say it just isn't very effective.
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Howl posted...

ImTheMacheteGuy posted...

hockeybub89 posted...

Howl posted...

Oh and just for shits and giggles the most interesting thing about this issue was that in the article itself it says that 80% of people in the world spank their children.

The majority of the world also believes in deities. The majority of the world doesn't know what the hell they are talking about.

Not to mention, there was a time when the majority of the world thought the world was flat and drank unpurified, unfiltered water.

The point is that the majority do not have children who have mental disorders as the science presented seems to suggest would happen if there were an actual causal relationship of spanking to mental disorders.

Fair enough. In this day and age, I'm not looking to set foot on the slope of who may or may not have mental disorders >_<
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hockeybub89 posted...

Sami1000 posted...

Bullying should lead to getting expelled.

Kicking children out of school benefits no one. That is not sensible discipline. You're not teaching a kid a lesson. You're damning him for life for being a shithead kid.

The kid will go to another school and hopefully remembers what happens if he starts bullying someone. Bullying can have severe consequences, you know. Should another kid suffer, so that the bully won't have to suffer?
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Sami1000 posted...

hockeybub89 posted...

Sami1000 posted...

Bullying should lead to getting expelled.

Kicking children out of school benefits no one. That is not sensible discipline. You're not teaching a kid a lesson. You're damning him for life for being a shithead kid.

The kid will go to another school and hopefully remembers what happens if he starts bullying someone. Bullying can have severe consequences, you know. Should another kid suffer, so that the bully won't have to suffer?

What is with these either or arguments in this topic? "Kick him out or let him keep bullying other kids. It's a no brainer to expel him!"
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