Poll of the Day > Your daily random Simpsons quote, brought to you by OguriSama

(+) Yeah! (+)

Hey, I don't need no advice from a pinball machine. I'll have you know, I wrote the book on love.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plBEfnoXJTE" data-time="
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So, Smithers, what are you doing this weekend. Something gay, I expect?
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Homer: Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people.

Bart: What about Abraham Lincoln?

Homer: Uh, he sold poison milk to school children.
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Flanders: Sorry to break character, but these stunt pants are getting mighty toasty!

Maude: Uh, roll, Neddie, roll.

Flanders: It's not working -- it just spreads the flames!
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https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/boards/3-poll-of-the-day/76414636

We can't bust heads like we used to. But we have our ways. One trick is to tell stories that don't go anywhere.

In honor of Hawking

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OH8s4N15zdg" data-time="
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I wash myself with a rag on a stick
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The Popo posted...

I wash myself with a rag on a stick

Only i may quote

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhyHy__hWME" data-time="
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Sea Captain: Arr, matee, narry a warning light to be seen. Clear sailin' ahead for our precious cargo.

Sailor: Uh, would that be the hot pants, sir?

Sea Captain: Aye, the hot pants.
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Ogurisama posted...

The Popo posted...

I wash myself with a rag on a stick

Only i may quote

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhyHy__hWME" data-time="

Twas no quote, but a mere declaration of my cleanliness.
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Homer: Homer no function beer well without.
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Spanish Guy: Here's your sugar, Simpson. Now you give us the money.

Homer: That wasn't part of the deal!

Spanish Guy: [pulls out contract] He's right! Who wrote this thing?
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Millhouse: I can't go to juvie! They use guys like me as currency!

Wiggum: Yeah, they'll pass you around like... like currency, like you said.
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Maude Flanders: I don't think we're talking about love here--we're talking about S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N!!

Krusty (standing in background): Sex Cauldron!?! I thought they shut that place down!
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Jebediah Springfield: People, our search is over! On this site we shall build a new town where we can worship freely, govern justly, and grow vast fields of hemp for making rope and blankets.
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They's throwing robots.
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Ogurisama posted...

Jebediah Springfield: People, our search is over! On this site we shall build a new town where we can worship freely, govern justly, and grow vast fields of hemp for making rope and blankets.

Yes, and to marry our cousins!
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Ralph: Principal Skinner is an old man who lives at the school.
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Carl: This candy is subpar. Any religion that embraces carob is not for Carl Carlson.
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Ralph: Miss Hoover? I glued my head to my shoulder.
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Marge: Well, if loving my kids is lame, then I guess I'm just a big lame.
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Homer: Operator! Give me the number for 911!
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Mayor Quimby: Can't we have one meeting that doesn't end with digging up a corpse?
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Moe: Well I'm better than dirt! Well, most kinds of dirt. I mean, not that fancy store-bought dirt. That stuff's loaded with nutrients. I can't compete with that stuff.
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Mr. Burns: Smithers, I've been thinking. Is it wrong to cheat to win a million-dollar bet?

Smithers: Yes, sir.

Mr. Burns: Let me rephrase that. Is it wrong if I cheat to win a million-dollar bet?

Smithers: No, sir. Who would you like killed?
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Dr. Hibbert: Another broccoli-related death.

Marge: But I thought broccoli was

Dr. Hibbert: Oh yes. One of the deadliest plants on earth. It tries to warn you itself with its terrible taste.
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Mayor Quimby: Check out the rack on the blonde in the forth row.
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Dental plan!

Lisa needs braces

Dental plan!

Lisa needs braces
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Sea Captain: Yarr, it's kind of you to deliver these copies of 'Jugs.' They'll keep my men from resorting to homosexuality... fer about 10 minutes. Harr, Harr, Harr.

Sailor: You should talk!

Sea Captain: Yarr.
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Hi, Lisa! Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!
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Marge: Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister.
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Troy McClure: Gay? I wish! If I were gay there'd be no problem!
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Marge: Please. You have to protect my husband.

Chief Wiggum: Where on my badge does it say anything about protecting people?

Lou: Uh, second word, Chief.

Wiggum: Thanks a lot, Princeton Pete.
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Marge: Now, how are we going to get my Homey back?

Willie: I'll kidnap him for fifty, deprogram him for a hundred, and kill him for five hundred.

Marge: No, no. Just the first two.

Willie: Alright. I'll throw in the killin' for free.
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Kent Brockman: I am not chipping in on a birthday cake for that jackass Arnie Pie, let him eat... This is Kent Brockman, live at..
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Bart: I'm glad we're stranded. It'll be just like the Swiss Family Robinson - only , with more cursing! We're gonna live like Kings. Damn hell ass kings.
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Mr. Burns: So, Smithers, what are you doing this weekend. Something gay, I expect?

Smithers: What?!!

Mr. Burns: You know, light and fancy free! Mothers, lock up your daughters! Smithers is on the town!

Smithers: Oh! Of course.
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We're here!
We're queer!
We don't want anymore bears!
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Lionel Hutz: Don't worry, Homer. I have a foolproof strategy to get you out of here. Surprise witnesses, each more surprising than the last. The judge won't know what hit him.
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I said I don't want any damn vegetables.
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I'm thinking about naming my new cat Bitey. He's the big one (and he has a cute biting quirk)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niuRWJgiv7o" data-time="

Smiffwilm posted...

I said I don't want any damn vegetables.

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Mr. Burns: Darling, my kneecaps are filling with fluid even as I speak, so I'll get right to the point.
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Lisa: It's not our fault our generation has short attention spans, Dad. We watch an appalling amount of TV.
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Marge: Hey kids! I made your favorite cookies: Christmas trees for the girls and bloody spearheads for Bart.
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Ullman shorts, Christmas show,
Marge's fling, Homer's bro,
Bart in well, Flanders fails,
Whacking Snakes, Monorail,
Mr. Plow, Homer space,
Sideshow Bob steps on rakes,
Lisa's future, Selma's hubby,
Marge not proud, Homer chubby,
Homer worries Bart is gay,
Poochie, U2, NRA,
Hippies, Vegas and Japan
Octuplets and Bart's boy band,
Marge murmurs, Maude croaks,
Lisa Buddhist, Homer tokes,
Maggie blows Burns away,
What else do I have to say?!
They'll Never Stop The Simpsons!
Have no fears, we've got stories for years, like
Marge becomes a robot,
Maybe Moe gets a cell phone, has Bart ever owned a bear?
Or, how 'bout a crazy wedding?
Where something happens and doo doo doo doo doo...
Sorry for the clip show.
Have no fears, we've got stories for years!
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Homer: I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.
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See my vest!
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JOExHIGASHI posted...

See my vest!

See my vest!
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