Poll of the Day > 2 billion dollars, but

(+) Yeah! (+)

You have to make a well recieved live action Sonic the hedgehog movie that both fans of the series and non fans agree is good. Well received in this case will be having over 70% on rotten tomatoes.

If you don't, you die. Do you take the money?

Edit: you don't get the full amount until you make the movie, but you can take out a loan against it to pay for the movie.

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lmao fuck no

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slacker03150 posted...

You have to make a well recieved live action Sonic the hedgehog movie that both fans of the series and non fans agree is good. Well received in this case will be having over 70% on rotten tomatoes.

If you don't, you die. Do you take the money?

Sure, I'd just do a take on the Sonic X cartoon - since it has a lot going on and the human characters can be human.
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Make the movie, but don't release it until after you die of natural causes. That way you get paid and you don't die of embarrassment.

(Jerry Lewis actually did this with The Day the Clown Cried, a movie about a circus clown imprisoned in a Nazi concentration camp. Lewis donated a copy to the Library of Congress with the stipulation that the movie never be screened before June 2024.)
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Sure itll just be porn
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I don't know anything about making movies. Can I just bankroll it or do I actually have to be involved?
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Hell yeah, give me that.

1) Stick to the source.
2) Make it so cute and likable it's just good.
3) Don't make it creepy.
4) Stick to the source.

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slacker03150 posted...

Do you take the money?

Nope as it's not possible to make a good Sonic film.
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No. I'm not desperate enough and wouldn't be enlightened enough with the money to risk a good chance at death.
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Making a good movie would be easy if you didnt have Hollywood execs sticking their fingers in the pie and saying Hmmm... the market wouldnt like that. Maybe do something more conventional.

But theyre wrong. Making something thats critically and commercially successful just needs some inspired talent on all sides. Its not just the writing, its the art team behind it, the sound people (everyones gonna expect some of the bangers from the main games), the actors (whether this is all animated or if there are real people), etc...

But its not anymore of an undertaking than any other film. You wouldnt even need to adapt any specific game in the franchise. Just do the Marvel approach and take bits and pieces of whats good from the series and make your own thing.

And it wouldnt even need to be some big action drama. How many people would be down for a genuinely funny Sonic movie? Maybe a buddy cop flic with Sonic and Tails, with Knuckles joking them in there after the middle of the movie.

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wwinterj25 posted...

Nope as it's not possible to make a good Sonic film.

I remember when superhero movies were considered a gamble because it was impossible to make a good one, too

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PK_Spam posted...

I remember when superhero movies were considered a gamble because it was impossible to make a good one, too

I wouldn't put superhero comics in the same boat as Sonic games. Superhero comics have many possibilities to create films from. Sonic however has a small amount of source material and even that wouldn't make a good film. Sonic has never been known for it's stories or rich lore. I certainly wouldn't risk my life in trying to make a critically acclimated film from it.
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Sonic has games, several anime series, several western cartoons, manga, and a comic series that went on for over 20 years. It has a LOT of established source material. Sonic is NOT the franchise you want to say has a dearth of stuff for.

Remind me how many normies knew who Doctor Strange or The Guardians of the Galaxy were before Marvel made them a thing

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Who is going to loan me the money? Movies are not cheap you know.
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but there's already a Sonic movie in the pipeline. there's no point in it, unless it's a sequel

what really needs to happen is to tap into the other toys, comics, and cartoons from the 80's, besides Transformers and G.I. Joe
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It's Sonic. It's not really a subject that you can make a good movie with. On top of that, I don't know squat about making movies.


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Bugmeat posted...

It's Sonic. It's not really a subject that you can make a good movie with. On top of that, I don't know squat about making movies.

A ton of people like it, for some reason. Just take the aspect that people like about it and make it super mainstream. Pretty sure it's mostly visual, so just make the movie really really pretty.

People also like it because it's meme-y and people like to laugh at it.

People liked Jim Carey (meme), hated Sonic (ugly), and hated the theme (ugly). They liked the guns and violence though.

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I'll take it because of this.

captpackrat posted...

Make the movie, but don't release it until after you die of natural causes. That way you get paid and you don't die of embarrassment.

(Jerry Lewis actually did this with The Day the Clown Cried, a movie about a circus clown imprisoned in a Nazi concentration camp. Lewis donated a copy to the Library of Congress with the stipulation that the movie never be screened before June 2024.)

Easy loophole since it wasn't stated that you had to be alive when the movie releases until after someone pointed it out.
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Imagine a Shadow the Hedgehog movie that's as edgy as possible without actually becoming a shitty self-depreciating movie.

That's a hit right there. People would go, "Hey, that movie was actually pretty good in it's own dumb as-edgy-as-humanly-possible way"

Not as far as Kung Fury though, still trying to pretend it's serious. This is a good idea because no one actually likes Shadow the Hedgehog, and no one would be mad for not taking it seriously.

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2 billion isn't even enough to bribe everyone into saying it's good....
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PK_Spam posted...

Remind me how many normies knew who Doctor Strange or The Guardians of the Galaxy were before Marvel made them a thing

Probably more folk than those who know of all the "established source material" of Sonic you speak of. Not exactly sure why you're getting your knickers in a twist but you're proving my point so eh. Sonic fans are never happy in most cases so a great Sonic film is never going to happen.

Bugmeat posted...

It's Sonic. It's not really a subject that you can make a good movie with.

This guy gets it.
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I'd probably base it off the Archie comics I mean they're long running for a reason probably make it dark enough to draw in a older crowd by showing eggman is 100 percent evil but throw in some jokes and light hearted moments to attract younger kids too.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TvNEZ4WWQIk" data-time="
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Make it a Mario Bros. movie instead, and I'll raise the ante by making it a musical. Still well-received too.
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If the movie fails, how do I die?
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Mead posted...

Sure itll just be porn

"Mmm Sonic, give me all of your chaos emeralds."
"All right, you got it bitch, but don't expect any rings"
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No deal.
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SpeedDemon20 posted...

If the movie fails, how do I die?

Drowning in the chemical zone from Sonic 2

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afrodude77 posted...

SpeedDemon20 posted...

If the movie fails, how do I die?

Drowning in the chemical zone from Sonic 2

While the drowning music plays.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Yw5jkAHgME" data-time="
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Yea. Shouldn't be too hard to do. Just focus on writing a good story and not obsessively marketing to a fanbase or doing stupid changes to appeal to non-fans.
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PMarth2002 posted...

afrodude77 posted...

SpeedDemon20 posted...

If the movie fails, how do I die?

Drowning in the chemical zone from Sonic 2

While the drowning music plays.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Yw5jkAHgME" data-time="

This is a win-win situation!
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Considering it's a pretty fucking low bar, it's tempting.
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Yellow posted...

1) Stick to the source.
2) Make it so cute and likable it's just good.
3) Don't make it creepy.
4) Stick to the source.

What "source", though?

The original games were nothing more than a blue hedgehog running really fast and defeating bosses. There's nothing there to base a film off of.

Later games started to introduce a plot, but....like all of them are really, really bad. Some are huffing-car-fumes bad. The Chaos Emeralds *might* be workable, but 99% of Sonic games with story are too stupid.
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Sonic was an environmentalist fighting a CEO, then it involved some kind of Dragonball rip off lore, the chaos emeralds, that was kind of cool?

Just do that, make Sonic and his friends really cute, make the world really good looking, and make Eggman's machines cool.

Involving humans and Earth in Sonic is just dumb, so pretend none of that exists. Like, why did they immediately think, "let's add another layer of bullshit by bringing him from another dimension for some reason"

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CyborgSage00x0 posted...

What "source", though?

All the non-game stuff from back in the Genesis days.

Yellow posted...

Involving humans and Earth in Sonic is just dumb, so pretend none of that exists.

But his main enemy is Buttnik. So humans have to exist.
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Buttnick should be a minority though. He should just be one of them.

No one wants to see freak cgi Sonic walk down New York city with all the real people. *coughOdyssey*

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the real question is will it be worse than dragon ball evolution ?
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I would just hire Chris Miller and Phil Lord to do it and they would probably make it awesome. Hire Kevin Feige as creative consultant and how could it fail?
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