Poll of the Day > Why can't I enjoy things I used to anymore?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Pokmon left me wholly unamused and I likely wont be picking it up again for a long long time

IASiPs season finale didnt make me laugh once, which... whatever. But Im finding myself not feeling anything when watching my older favorite episodes either. In fact, I can barely watch more than 15 minutes of television before telling myself Id rather sleep

I havent written in like 3 months now. I just dont give a shit.

Can I go back to the point in my life where I was able to do and enjoy things? I genuinely feel like the person I was 5 years ago is dead, and I really dont know what I can do to bring him back. Is this just what aging into an adult means?

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bro you're depressed
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TheWitchMorgana posted...

bro you're depressed

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Definitely depressed. I find this happening in myself, have so many projects to do and cant get enough interest to do them.
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Welcome to being old.
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Talk to a doctor. sounds like Depression.
When I bring up emotions to my doctor, they basically ask questions about motivation, old tasks you would enjoy, etc.
If you really can't find enjoyment, then I can almost guarantee it's depression. I'm not a doctor though.

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Play through older Pokemon games. I was bored to tears with ORAS but still enjoy replaying Emerald for example. Don't underestimate the power of nostalgia

But also, ya might be depressed. You probably need a change of pace in your life. Routine tends to suck the life out of you after a while. Start going to the gym too

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PK_Spam posted...

Pokmon left me wholly unamused and I likely wont be picking it up again for a long long time

This is understandable given Pokemon has always been geared towards kids, even in Japan. Sure there are more complicated competitive aspects that appeal to adults, but that isn't for everyone.
People in their 20s and 30s who followed Pokemon since the 90s, still want to see the story and want to see new Pokemon, gym leaders, characters etc. are in a minority, just like people who grew up with Power Rangers in the 90s and still follow every new show that comes out to this day are a small obsessed crowd. Most people will lose interest, and that's normal IMO. Just because it made you happy in teh past, doesn't mean it will do the same now.
You could try Digimon Cyber Sleuth. That game is definitely more interesting if you feel like Pokemon is meh.

PK_Spam posted...

Can I go back to the point in my life where I was able to do and enjoy things? I genuinely feel like the person I was 5 years ago is dead, and I really dont know what I can do to bring him back. Is this just what aging into an adult means?

Everything you've mentioned, Pokemon and iasip, are nostalgic to you. Try something new
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I'd say it's that super critical nature and feelings of ultimate moral superiority (learned from your parents) that makes it difficult for you to enjoy things.
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Probably worn out from all that pk spamming.
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ParanoidObsessive posted...

Welcome to being old.

Pretty much this. Things lose their novelty. Sometimes life events change us in ways we can't go back. Use this as an opportunity to try something new.
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I'd put my money on depression as the main issue... But yeah, things get old. Time passes, we decay, we lose interests. The hardest part is finding new things to enjoy. And trying to pull yourself out of depression enough to enjoy them.
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Look into new hobbies, your tastes honestly may have just changed or been fueled by different aspects of yourself.

My desire to play video games has decreased exponentially in just the past couple years.
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I think it's partly that at this part in your/our lives (assuming around 30+ somewhere) we're supposed to have kids.

Now that I have nephews, they spice up just about everything I get them interested in. Any time they do anything it's practically immediately "wow!"; they get surprised and excited by the most mundane things.

Basically, you've run the course of what you can teach yourself. It's supposed to be time to start teaching your little ones what you've learned.

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Sahuagin posted...

I think it's partly that at this part in your/our lives (assuming around 30+ somewhere) we're supposed to have kids.

Now that I have nephews, they spice up just about everything I get them interested in. Any time they do anything it's practically immediately "wow!"; they get surprised and excited by the most mundane things.

Basically, you've run the course of what you can teach yourself. It's supposed to be time to start teaching your little ones what you've learned.

He does have a niece...
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There is literally no point where you can't keep teaching yourself, and the 30s sure wouldn't be that point if there was one.

I think that comes across as "Bring a new human being into the world just to entertain you." which is an especially bad idea when someone is depressed.

Also to hell with having kids.
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Moonjay posted...

There is literally no point where you can't keep teaching yourself, and the 30s sure wouldn't be that point if there was one.

I think that comes across as "Bring a new human being into the world just to entertain you." which is an especially bad idea when someone is depressed.

Also to hell with having kids.

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Moonjay posted...

There is literally no point where you can't keep teaching yourself, and the 30s sure wouldn't be that point if there was one.

I think that comes across as "Bring a new human being into the world just to entertain you." which is an especially bad idea when someone is depressed.

Also to hell with having kids.

I didn't suggest you should do so haphazardly. I'm saying at that age it starts to make more and more sense psychologically. A single middle aged man is definitely going to start to be depressed for these kinds of reasons, generally. At least it's a plausible explanation. If you're jaded to heck like a lot of people here are, being around children can be a great way to help that.

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Sahuagin posted...

Moonjay posted...

There is literally no point where you can't keep teaching yourself, and the 30s sure wouldn't be that point if there was one.

I think that comes across as "Bring a new human being into the world just to entertain you." which is an especially bad idea when someone is depressed.

Also to hell with having kids.

I didn't suggest you should do so haphazardly. I'm saying at that age it starts to make more and more sense psychologically. A single middle aged man is definitely going to start to be depressed for these kinds of reasons, generally. At least it's a plausible explanation. If you're jaded to heck like a lot of people here are, being around children can be a great way to help that.

While I agree that it's a plausible explanation, I don't think you should really generalize people like that. Especially in this age where more and more people tend not to want children. Or as many...

I know plenty of people who are happy doing what they are doing without having children around...
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Almost 38 and the thought of having children now as the world dies makes my uterus crawl.
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I'm 41 and the thought of so many viewing the world in an "half-empty" sense fills me with pity for those people.

The world is only that which you make it.
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Moonjay posted...

Almost 38 and the thought of having children now as the world dies makes my uterus crawl.

That's good, you got a pretty pessimistic outlook on life so bringing a child into that is no bueno
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darcandkharg31 posted...

Moonjay posted...

Almost 38 and the thought of having children now as the world dies makes my uterus crawl.

That's good, you got a pretty pessimistic outlook on life so bringing a child into that is no bueno

It's easy to be pessimistic when the world keeps getting worse around every corner. I'm usually an optimist. But even I stopped after everything just seemed to get worse as I grew up...
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If you smoke pot, consider stopping.

LinkPizza posted...

It's easy to be pessimistic

basically, people can just be like this sucks, that sucks, everything sucks. Life is better than ever imo, especially living in a first world country, I think social media and watching too much movies and tv shows colors peoples views of how they think the world should be, but alas, I ain't here to change peoples minds, they'll just continue living like that.
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darcandkharg31 posted...

LinkPizza posted...

It's easy to be pessimistic

basically, people can just be like this sucks, that sucks, everything sucks. Life is better than ever imo, especially living in a first world country, I think social media and watching too much movies and tv shows colors peoples views of how they think the world should be, but alas, I ain't here to change peoples minds, they'll just continue living like that.

You may think that, but even as an optimist, I cant. I cant really see anything thats better about now than when I was a kid other than technology, and I think its now going to far, so...

And I know its easier to see things better as a kid, but it also just seemed better overall. Or as many people were offended by nothing. And people were actually nice and friendly. Kids werent as sheltered and could go outside to play with friends (and lots of bad things happened still, but eh).... People also seemed to get along more. And use to help out everyone else.

These days, people barely know their neighbors. Kids are sheltered and stuck inside unless they want to be kidnapped. Hate seems to spread much easier. People cant even have a conversation without someone being offended. And even when having a private conversation, people will but in to say they feel offended that you dont like the color purple. Nobody can agree on whats important. And so many people are living paycheck to paycheck. Which doesnt help that people have to pay back college loans for the unless diplomas that the world kept saying they would need to succeed in life...
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The real problems are climate change, mass extinctions, hellfires burning endlessly because of drought. Nuclear waste leaking and making people give birth to things that "Resemble bunches of grapes". Arctic ice melting, sea life dying. I sure don't want to live in a world where there are no bees or butterflies, no koala or tigers. At least I can give my hypothetical children the kindness of not having to be here for it.
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LinkPizza posted...

I don't think you should really generalize people like that

not generalizing anyone, just putting forth a potential plausible sounding explanation for a problem

you guys are acting like I said that all depression is caused by not having kids, and that everyone should necessarily have kids. you don't even need to have them, just being around them can help, maybe, if you're depressed and your depression is a certain kind of depression.

LinkPizza posted...

I know plenty of people who are happy doing what they are doing without having children around...

I did expect these kinds of "I don't want kids" responses, but you guys are going way overboard putting words in my mouth.

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Sahuagin posted...

not generalizing anyone, just putting forth a potential plausible sounding explanation for a problem

you guys are acting like I said that all depression is caused by not having kids, and that everyone should necessarily have kids. you don't even need to have them, just being around them can help, maybe, if you're depressed and your depression is a certain kind of depression.

And I said it could be. But I just dont think its that for that many people. People seem to think having a kid will make them happy or fix a relationship thats falling apart sometimes. But then, it ends up making things work. I feel its better to have a child while youre happy instead of having a child to make you happy. I know youre not saying to make a child to get out of depression, but its probably not a good idea for him to have a child until hes ready, if ever. You have to be ready more than just physically and mentally. You have to also be ready emotionally and financially, as well. And ready in all aspects of life. If not, things can end up bad.

Sahuagin posted...

I did expect these kinds of "I don't want kids" responses, but you guys are going way overboard putting words in my mouth.

I dont think I was putting words in your mouth. I was just saying I know plenty of people who are happy doing what the what they are doing without having children...
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Moonjay posted...

The real problems are climate change, mass extinctions, hellfires burning endlessly because of drought. Nuclear waste leaking and making people give birth to things that "Resemble bunches of grapes". Arctic ice melting, sea life dying. I sure don't want to live in a world where there are no bees or butterflies, no koala or tigers. At least I can give my hypothetical children the kindness of not having to be here for it.

Pretty much this

There is nothing out there worth getting depressed over except these issues right here.

Everything else is fodder and unimportant.

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LinkPizza posted...

I dont think I was putting words in your mouth. I was just saying I know plenty of people who are happy doing what the what they are doing without having children...

in direct reply to me, when I didn't say anything even approximating the fact that people can't be happy without children

LinkPizza posted...

People seem to think having a kid will make them happy

what I'm saying is not even about actually having kids. my point is that I think there's likely a potential psychological tendency (not for everyone) towards unhappiness without them in your life (any, not just your own). the point being to be aware of this as a potential source of depression, (maybe, maybe not, up to the person), so that you can at least be aware of it, and if you so choose, work towards it somehow; or maybe work harder on being a positive presence in the lives of the children that you do already know. I think there are a lot of people that might not even consider that as a possibility for their depression, but they might find something they didn't realize was there if they know where to look for it.

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Sahuagin posted...

in direct reply to me, when I didn't say anything even approximating the fact that people can't be happy without children

How is it a direct reply if you never said anything about people not being happy, then?

And actually, it was something I thought of adding on afterwards. It was just an extra thought. So, no. I was not putting words in your mouth. I was stating my opinion... You can see it was edited. I just thought about how many people I know who said that they were happy where they were without kids after posting that. That's all...

Sahuagin posted...

what I'm saying is not even about actually having kids. my point is that I think there's likely a potential psychological tendency (not for everyone) towards unhappiness without them in your life (any, not just your own). the point being to be aware of this as a potential source of depression, (maybe, maybe not, up to the person), so that you can at least be aware of it, and if you so choose, work towards it somehow; or maybe work harder on being a positive presence in the lives of the children that you do already know. I think there are a lot of people that might not even consider that as a possibility for their depression, but they might find something they didn't realize was there if they know where to look for it.

If you're talking about kids in his life, there is one. His niece. He's mentioned her many times. And even said he likes spending time with her until he gets annoyed or tired of her and get his sister (her mom, IIRC) to come get her. So, there is a child in his life.

I think many people do know it's a possibility. It's probably why many people do try to have a child to fix relationships or make them happy. Which, from what I've seen, usually turns out bad. But probably good for many other people. I think people should talk to a professional before having kids, though...
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Sahuagin posted...

If you're jaded to heck like a lot of people here are, being around children can be a great way to help that.

Except Pandamaster.
Don't ever encourage Pandamaster to be around children, and maybe some other PotDers too, don't encourage them.
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For me, Id say its the weight of the world getting to me.

Like, Im in my early 30s and its really been hitting me that I work like wayyyy too much. I wasted my late teens and my 20s working for something that isnt even worth it. Ive never had a real relationship, and Ive only ever had the one job so I dont even know what other kind of job to look for. And now that I have rent and other obligations, I cant be job hopping and starting off at low pay again.

Thats not to say I dont still enjoy things. Its just that sometimes when Im playing games or watching movies, Ill be thinking I really like this, but couldnt (or shouldnt) I be doing something better with my limited time?

I dunno, its definitely weird to explain.
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That just sounds like adulthood there.
You aren't taking life for granted so you're checking yourself to make sure you're utilizing your time.
I find myself cleaning more when I have time rather than just watching TV or reading. As I get older and see the results, I appreciate having cleaned rather than that 20+ minutes of fun I could do any other time.

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