Current Events > I'm so sick of being fat and hating my body...

(+) Yeah! (+)

The problem is no matter what I do, tomorrow I will still be fat and hate my body
Next week I will still be fat and hate my body
Next month I will still be fat and hate my body

Because I know these things, any effort feels frustrating and entirely pointless.

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nice!

Won't change till you change it and that's all there is to it

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How many meals do you eat regularly
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Exercise

And diet

Have fun

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Consistency and commitment is going to make a difference, expecting immediate results will just lead to frustration. It takes time, effort, and patience. Sometimes you can drop 7 to 10 lbs in a week, and then the next week doing the same exact thing and lose 1. It's not pointless, it just takes a long term effort, and a lot of it sucks because you don't wanna kick some of your favorite, unhealthy foods, and exercising sucks, but once you adapt you might start to like it a bit more. If you want to change it, then change it. You need to get in a positive mindset first and stop being down on who you are and be positive about who you can become and change what you don't like about yourself.

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You have to eat less obviously, which isn't anything you haven't heard before

2 questions tho

1) do you mostly buy prepared food (fast food and/or packaged stuff) or do you cook it?

2) is your over-eating mostly hunger or habit/boredom? or a mix of both?

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How fat are you tho? Because the more extreme your weight, the more extreme the solution is gonna be

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Dont worry TC; click/tap below and your need for food will cease.



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@CommonJoe I don't like you anymore.

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joe come on man. This is over a decade youve been like this. Youre already pushing 40! Time to snap out of it. This isnt LUE circa 2008.

MabusIncarnate posted...

I don't like you anymore.

:(.
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Im not a dietician but my advice would be

Cut out bread, candy/snacks, anything thats not water, no dressings or sauces (okay, but only a spoonful - make it last) and cook yer favorite meats only

After about a week you wont hate me anymore and youll be glad yer on yer way

If you are able to take long walks (Im talking 2-3 miles) you will absolutely shred through

Meat is the most important and flavorful thing anyways, the rest of everything just pales in comparison.. also the water bit will instantly produce results

Get used to feeling hungry - if your head starts to hurt just eat something light or have some sushi in your fridge and you wont have to worry about anything

In fact - eating sushi alone for a week will probably curb anything and be super tasty

Try to let your doctor know too, even if they find the random call weird just do it anyways - maybe they have some advice

and check in with us every 2 days to let us know how youre doing if you choose to do this

TimmyTinsel posted...

joe come on man. This is over a decade youve been like this. Youre already pushing 40! Time to snap out of it. This isnt LUE circa 2008.

I don't know who you are, but this is not accurate.

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MabusIncarnate posted...

Consistency and commitment is going to make a difference, expecting immediate results will just lead to frustration. It takes time, effort, and patience. Sometimes you can drop 7 to 10 lbs in a week

But my point is, even if I lose 7 to 10 lbs... Even if I lose 40lbs

I'm still fat and I still hate my body. So no progress is made.
I don't have unlimited willpower, I have about enough willpower to lose 30-40lbs. But I'll still be fat and I'll still hate my body.

If every 5 days of doing absolutely awesome when it comes to diet/exercise I got for 10 minutes to feel what it feels like to not have total disgust for my physical self I could probably sustain it. But the problem is all of the "good" is behind an infinite amount of effort, so it feels like the good doesn't even exist at all.

Trying to lose weight, for me, is completely sisyphean.

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Answer my question
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joe40001 posted...

But my point is, even if I lose 7 to 10 lbs... Even if I lose 40lbs

I'm still fat and I still hate my body. So no progress is made.
I don't have unlimited willpower, I have about enough willpower to lose 30-40lbs. But I'll still be fat and I'll still hate my body.

If every 5 days of doing absolutely awesome when it comes to diet/exercise I got for 10 minutes to feel what it feels like to not have total disgust for my physical self I could probably sustain it. But the problem is all of the "good" is behind an infinite amount of effort, so it feels like the good doesn't even exist at all.

Trying to lose weight, for me, is completely sisyphean.

Starts with the mindset tbh, and honestly your mind changes as you go on.. you need to learn to accept that a weekly thing isnt what everyone does to lose weight - it takes weeks and months lol

Maybe pick up a whole new set of everything.. new habits, new styles of games youve never played, discovering new music even if you dont like it and writing down in a notebook why its shit.. reading books and a lot of them so you learn some new facts

Maybe even take the time to just sit outside at a favorite spot and recount what you see

Simple things absolutely go a long way and maybe find 19283828 different ways to cook chicken or steak

savor the food too I mean, thats what I did, I just cut everything up into bits and tried to make that meal last an hour long

Good luck.. the mental game is always hard but there are people here who would absolutely love to see your progress and the accounts of wins and failures and what you think of them

joe40001 posted...

I don't know who you are, but this is not accurate.

The only part not true is the age.

TimmyTinsel posted...

The only part not true is the age.

Well I guess idk what to do with "snap out of it".

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#Gym
#Diet
#SeeAdoctor
#HotGirlfriendWhoDances

Wishing you luck.
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Cornhuskers posted...

#Gym
#Diet
#SeeAdoctor
#HotGirlfriendWhoDances

Wishing you luck.

Yeah, I don't think you read my topic. I'm fat, so girlfriends aren't really in cards for me.

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joe40001 posted...

I'm fat, so girlfriends aren't really in cards for me.

Unless your face is a rotten tire fire, your weight is a non-issue. And if youre hyper-morbidly obese (like, need to be crane lifted out if your house obese) you need medical attention.

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CommonJoe posted...

Unless your face is a rotten tire fire, your weight is a non-issue. And if youre hyper-morbidly obese (like, need to be crane lifted out if your house obese) you need medical attention.

Nobody around me acts like I could or should be dating. Nobody has ever tried to set me up. It's a lot of "oh you are single, that makes sense".

I need to lose at least 60lbs to be datable, and honestly probably much more than that.

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So do you literally have an excuse for everything it seems you can't diet and exercise because you don't see instant gratification and lack the will power you can't date because no one has ever set you up with a date and you need to lose weight to date but you can't lose the weight because you lack the will power. It seems like the only thing you are able to do is whine and complain about your situation. If you can't help yourself no one is going to be able to help you.

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Seeing a lot of "can't"s when they are really "won't"s tbh

ie. You say you can't diet because you lack willpower when in reality you won't diet because you don't want to.

Be honest with yourself.

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Quicksilver posted...

So do you literally have an excuse for everything it seems you can't diet and exercise because you don't see instant gratification and lack the will power you can't date because no one has ever set you up with a date and you need to lose weight to date but you can't lose the weight because you lack the will power. It seems like the only thing you are able to do is whine and complain about your situation. If you can't help yourself no one is going to be able to help you.

I don't need "instant gratification". But realistically how long after working very hard on a diet am I able to feel any pride or joy about it? Weeks? Months? More?

I think the big problem is that when I lose weight I never get the moment of "I'm proud of myself, I want to keep doing this"

It's a slog on day 1 and a slog on day 20. And I don't think people who sustain these things do so hating every moment of every day doing it.

I have good willpower when I feel like something I'm doing matters. But with my worldview and depression I just can't get myself to believe it'll matter.

What am I even fighting for? What am I even trying for? How many years of slog before I get to be happy? Before I get to look in the mirror and not hate myself?

I have good willpower, I can appreciate a challenge. But I have limited willpower one things where I think the effort is totally pointless, and for weightloss even though I know how to do it, and I see some weight come off, I never get the moment where I don't hate my body. So all the effort does feel pointless. And I don't know how to shake that mindset.

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Ivynn posted...

Seeing a lot of "can't"s when they are really "won't"s tbh

ie. You say you can't diet because you lack willpower when in reality you won't diet because you don't want to.

Be honest with yourself.

I do diet. I can do it. But I cannot shake the belief that the whole effort is pointless, and I doubt you'll find anybody who spends a lot of time on something they find to be completely pointless.

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I mean if you still have that mindset, nothing gonna change and you will keep hating your body.

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You shouldn't need to stay motivated, you have to change the entire way you live

You live the life of a fat person. You can't just resist your temptations for a while. Daily exercise and completely new foods, completely new things you like to do. The old you has to die. There is no willpower involved.

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For reference I'm about 50lbs lower than I was at my worst. I lost that weight by putting in the effort. But it comes back to a "this is pointless" mindset, because at the end of the day, even 50lbs lighter, I'm still a fat gross undatable piece of trash. And so I can't like myself and so I'm stuck.

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Pkmas1702 posted...

I mean if you still have that mindset, nothing gonna change and you will keep hating your body.

I want to fix the mindset. I know it's broken.

Objectively weight loss matters, even from a obese weight to a less obese weight. But I can't convince my mind to believe it matters. That's what depression often is, an inability to convince your mind that anything matters.

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Do you exercise at all? If not then get used to being fat.

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joe40001 posted...

For reference I'm about 50lbs lower than I was at my worst. I lost that weight by putting in the effort. But it comes back to a "this is pointless" mindset, because at the end of the day, even 50lbs lighter, I'm still a fat gross undatable piece of trash. And so I can't like myself and so I'm stuck.

Consistency is key, it will take months or years possibly but with the right mindset and motivation, it is doable.

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Pkmas1702 posted...

Consistency is key, it will take months or years possibly but with the right mindset and motivation, it is doable.

Obviously if you keep doing the thing that makes you lose weight, you'll keep losing weight. But that doesn't help me shake the "this is pointless" feeling.

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joe40001 posted...

Obviously if you keep doing the thing that makes you lose weight, you'll keep losing weight. But that doesn't help me shake the "this is pointless" feeling.

It is in your head. If you can't change it, you will not see any improvement both physically and meentally that for sure

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Pkmas1702 posted...

It is in your head. If you can't change it, you will not see any improvement both physically and meentally that for sure

Which is why I want to change it. That's what I need help with. How do I value the small progress I make? How do I know it matters?

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Might help to try making the tiniest changes rather than go all in at once and fail. Reduce your intake of calories by like 100 per week and take an X minute walk per X days. Then try to make that feel natural instead of something you're forcing. Don't weigh yourself, don't pay attention to yourself. Rather than expect to see change, just let change surprise you. Might deliver a better feedback loop than the disappointment.

Have you had trauma as a kid? on 600lb life they never make progress til they go to therapy regularly

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Lol, TC won't even answer a basic question, of course he's not interested in productive discourse. You just want to complain and be pat on the head. You're almost as bad as DK9292
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joe40001 posted...

Which is why I want to change it. That's what I need help with. How do I value the small progress I make? How do I know it matters?

It is a part of progressing. Any change is worth it and counted toward the progress even if it is just a little. You can't build shit in one go, it takes effort, planning and consistent throughout the project.

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Colorahdo posted...

Have you had trauma as a kid? on 600lb life they never make progress til they go to therapy regularly

Yeah, I've been doing a lot of therapy over the years, but I definitely think most of the problem is mindset.

When I'm not depressed (which has happened a few days over the past many years) not overeating is easy af.

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If your mindset is that no matter how much weight you lose you'll still be fat then you have the wrong goals. If losing 40 lbs means you're still fat then you have to lose 40 more and so on and so forth. Losing weight takes time and effort. I lost 40 lbs from just dieting in like 4 or 5 months and plan to lose 15 - 20 more. Just have to commit.
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joe40001 posted...

It's a slog on day 1 and a slog on day 20. And I don't think people who sustain these things do so hating every moment of every day doing it.

Everything worth doing takes a bit of an effort. Nobody wants to clean their house but having a clean house is more enjoyable yeah? I guess think of it like that.

I mean it sounds like you're hating things the way they are now so what's the worse that can happen if you try?

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Darmik posted...

Everything worth doing takes a bit of an effort. Nobody wants to clean their house but having a clean house is more enjoyable yeah? I guess think of it like that.

I mean it sounds like you're hating things the way they are now so what's the worse that can happen if you try?

I have no crutch, I have no coping thing. That's the big problem.

I have no method of "self-care" that isn't bad for me.

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Reading joe's posts is so irritating because he seems very capable of reasoning but starts with a nonsensical premise at all times without fail.

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AceAttorneyist posted...

Reading joe's posts is so irritating because he seems very capable of reasoning but starts with a nonsensical premise at all times without fail.

he's just here to convince himself that he can't do it, he doesn't actually want help

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You just have to exercise constantly and stop eating and drinking everything you enjoy

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Colorahdo posted...

he's just here to convince himself that he can't do it, he doesn't actually want help

I think I'm looking for the perfect series of words that can "deprogram" me from the few toxic beliefs that are really holding me back.

Like I said, if I could allow myself to like myself and feel good after every 10lbs lost, I think I could sustain the effort indefinitely.

But something in my brain says "it doesn't matter".

It might be as simple as I don't want to entertain the idea that I could get all the way better now, because that means I could've got all the way better before, and the amount of sadness and regret that would come from that conclusion might be unbearable.

Then again, it could be the case that I didn't have the tools to be good up until this very moment, so I wouldn't need to feel guilt if I did get better...

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I laughed so hard at #2

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