Current Events > Incels: 'I wish women would look past my height and appreciate my personality.'

(+) Yeah! (+)

Part of working on one's social ineptitude is learning to recognize when your attempt at a conversation is going nowhere and figuring out how to transition to a different topic or when to step away and talk to someone else. It doesn't come without putting in the work, stepping out of your comfort zone, and talking to people.

So I guess this topic attracted a full-on incel.

Holding a conversation means nothing if the other person isn't interested in you or gives one word responses.

You don't need to be an incel to come to terms with the reality that many people have disadvantages in life. And that nothing is guaranteed, no matter how much you work hard or try

Nah, that just means they aren't interested. Someone who is into you will always find a way to keep conversing with you. You can be the most social person in the world, but that means nothing if the other person

A. Feigns interest(it's easy to tell when someone isn't compatible in a convo or is pretending to follow what you're saying)
B. Isn't interested

Nah, that just means they aren't interested. Someone who is into you will always find a way to keep conversing with you. You can be the most social person in the world, but that means nothing if the other person

A. Feigns interest(it's easy to tell when someone isn't compatible in a convo or is pretending to follow what you're saying)
B. Isn't interested

So I guess this topic attracted a full-on incel.

Whenever I hear about short men having troubles dating I remember this old ABC 20/20 story:

https://youtu.be/ZbG05ePWRQE?si=zdOI0irHmsbsM6ie

That's how they do. There's nothing that infuriates an incel more than for their bullshit, shallow talking points about appearance to be disproved.... it forces them to consider that maybe it's not how they look, but how they are as a person that's the reason why no woman wants to get with them; It means that they're to blame for their situation themselves, which doesn't allow them room to play the victim.

Expanding your social circle and dating prospects are two different things. You don't need a social circle to date. And it's not uncommon for many people to have little to no friends, or to have work life and gym be their main focus

You don't need to be an incel to come to terms with the reality that many people have disadvantages in life. And that nothing is guaranteed, no matter how much you work hard or try

Making friends and getting with girls are basically the same skill set. Its not a coincidence that most incels are short on friends.

1. Virginity has nothing to do with friendship. Many people in HS are virgins/have trouble speaking to the opposite gender, but could still have large friend groups or close friendships with a few select people.
2. Friendships and relationships are two different things. You can have a "friendship" with a person. Regardless of your height, income level, or looks. With relationships, it's encouraged to be tall, be able to talk, have good hair, be funny, be decent looking, be of a certain income level or have a certain career and more. You're also actively competing with other people in regards to dating/relationships. Online dating is a prime example of this, where you're filtered out for being average . While with friendships, not so much. Hypothetically, a person can have a "ton of friends", but with dating/relationships people are often selecting that one special person who fits their requirements.
3. There are different levels of friendships. From acquaintances, to people you know but won't do anything with or have no big connection with outside of a big friend group..to even close friends that you'll almost do anything for or help out in their time of need.
4. While being social is a plus, you don't need to be the life of the party to date. And if someone agrees to be in a relationship with you, most aren't going to automatically leave if they find out you have no friends when the relationship starts.

This isn't even close to true.
1. Virginity has nothing to do with friendship. Many people in HS are virgins/have trouble speaking to the opposite gender, but could still have large friend groups or close friendships with a few select people.
2. Friendships and relationships are two different things. You can have a "friendship" with a person. Regardless of your height, income level, or looks. With relationships, it's encouraged to be tall, be able to talk, have good hair, be funny, be decent looking, be of a certain income level or have a certain career and more. You're also actively competing with other people in regards to dating/relationships. Online dating is a prime example of this, where you're filtered out for being average . While with friendships, not so much. Hypothetically, a person can have a "ton of friends", but with dating/relationships people are often selecting that one special person who fits their requirements.
3. There are different levels of friendships. From acquaintances, to people you know but won't do anything with or have no big connection with outside of a big friend group..to even close friends that you'll almost do anything for or help out in their time of need.
4. While being social is a plus, you don't need to be the life of the party to date. And if someone agrees to be in a relationship with you, most aren't going to automatically leave if they find out you have no friends when the relationship starts.

1. High school virgins arent incels. But yes, they often lack the maturity to understand that talking to opposite sex is just the same as talking to the same sex. Cant blame them, theyre lacking in experience. Whats your excuse?
2. Friendships and relationships are not completely different things. Friendship is a type of relationship. Being conventionally attractive may give an advantage when talking to women, but if youre putting yourself out there and having no success at all, its incredibly unlikely that your looks are the biggest hurdle. Women arent generally that fussy if they like you enough.
3. There are different types of sexual relationships too. Whats your point?
4. Youre arguing against a point that I never made. Im not claiming that women will leave you if you dont have sufficient friends. Im saying that many incels are also lacking in friends and that suggests that their attitude, demeanour or social skills are lacking, which would explain why women arent interested in them.

1. High school virgins arent incels. But yes, they often lack the maturity to understand that talking to opposite sex is just the same as talking to the same sex. Cant blame them, theyre lacking in experience. Whats your excuse?
2. Friendships and relationships are not completely different things. Friendship is a type of relationship. Being conventionally attractive may give an advantage when talking to women, but if youre putting yourself out there and having no success at all, its incredibly unlikely that your looks are the biggest hurdle. Women arent generally that fussy if they like you enough.
3. There are different types of sexual relationships too. Whats your point?
4. Youre arguing against a point that I never made. Im not claiming that women will leave you if you dont have sufficient friends. Im saying that many incels are also lacking in friends and that suggests that their attitude, demeanour or social skills are lacking, which would explain why women arent interested in them.

suggests that their attitude, demeanour or social skills are lacking, which would explain why women arent interested in them.

<username> wants to chat

People don't get that for men your range of allowed personality traits is correlated with your looks.

A tall guy can get away with both being large and in charge as well as being quiet and submissive.

But a short guy is expected to strike a perfect balance. If he's too assertive he's a Napoleon complex manlet, but if he's too passive he's not noticed at all.

Plus regardless of what he does his dating pool is smaller than the tall guy's, because unlike how many men specifically find each height a woman can have sex there are barely any women who specifically prefer short men over tall or average men. You're always fighting an uphill battle and often being settled for physically.

It really kills the idea of being yourself for non-genetically blessed men. And that's what gets incels mad.

No need to. I have no need or desire for friends. And accept that I rely on myself and only myself. I trust no one.

Feel bad for those who are good people, who actively try to be social or to get into the dating world or to have friends. but instead get screwed, have their confidence shot down, or actively ghosted by people . Those are the people you should feel bad for. Because their light fades away anytime they continue to get rejected or manipulated.

Getting a gf is really not that hard

For some of us it is. v_v

A lot of women are pretty short. Height shouldn't be THAT much of an issue. Unless you're a little man, in which case you should seek out little women.

They want someone that can reach high shelves and the top of the refrigerator. So it makes sense why some women would want a partner taller than they are.

Both are completely different. Men generally talk to other men about certain stuff, or bond with other men with certain stuff because they go through the same things or experience the same stuff. Both genders go through and experience life completely differently in societal aspects and economic aspects.

Actually, they completely are. A casual friendship is easy to have. And thats using friendship in the loosest way possible in terms of being able to have a good conversation or talk about common things in the location you are at(job/event/friend group)

Dating/relationship is different. You're not competing for friendship. You are however, competing in the dating world when there are tons of men trying to talk to the same person, and the other individual being more selective due to the plethora of options available. Said options lead to high standards. Dating sites and apps are an example of this. In which all the men are essentially competing with each other and need to essentially be the best or one of the best.

Furthermore, I'm not going to get rejected for being "short" for a friend group. Maybe made fun of, but being a friend of sam isnt the same as being in a relationship with sam. But in a relationship or dating: It's preferential and often mandatory to be a certain height. Along with having a certain level of income. Certain features(not being skinny or not being buff), having hair, etc. In other words, there are high standards for dating/relationships. Not much so for simple friendships

Why do people continuously try to ignore that income level, or physical appearance or "types" are also factors for being rejected? Yes those you listed are factors, but so are other things. Or just people have preferences as well.

Have you tried looking for unattractive women?

A casual sexual relationship is also easy to have.

That's a tall guy thing unless you're extremely charming.

For some of us it is. v_v

Yup older virgin here. Not sure of your story but I bet you're like me and asking out every other women and they just turn us down without a second thought. After being rejected 100 times in a month you almost become... numb to it. How many women turned you down this month? I usually try and approach at the bar.