Poll of the Day > My ex-boyfriend gave me a hug before he left for work.

(+) Yeah! (+)

I wonder what that means.

Speculate for me, potd.
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He was cold, and just needed a quick spike of your body heat

gettin' a quick snifferoo in
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Need more details

- you 2 living together?
- who called off the relationship?
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Sounds like he's not getting lucky elsewhere and is feeling desperate so trying to get back with you? I don't know enough details to give a proper guess though.

JixHedgehog posted...

Need more details

- you 2 living together?
- who called off the relationship?

Yes, we are.

He did while I was in treatment for alcoholism. When I got home he said he was confused and wanted to continue to live together to see if his feelings for me would come back. That was 2 weeks ago.
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he wants the d
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he wants to have non-committal sex with you.

He's gauging your reaction and will make his next move accordingly.
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FinalFantasyVII posted...

he wants to have non-committal sex with you.

I'm not doing that. I have some self-respect now.
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The break up was recent so he has lingering feelings and with you guys still living together they're not fading. It becomes easy to slip into old habits. Its also possible that because you stopped drinking you stopped exhibiting the traits that caused him to break up with you in the first place so he is reconsidering restarting the relationship.
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Jen0125 posted...

JixHedgehog posted...

Need more details

- you 2 living together?
- who called off the relationship?

Yes, we are.

He did while I was in treatment for alcoholism. When I got home he said he was confused and wanted to continue to live together to see if his feelings for me would come back. That was 2 weeks ago.

Why did he break up with you because of your drinking? We're you violent with him? Or say hurtful things? Did he do anything wrong to you?

Maybe you are making progress and he sees it and his feelings still remain for you.

Or it could just be a hug between friends. I hug my friends sometimes

Best to ask him really.

xjayguyx posted...

Why did he break up with you because of your drinking? We're you violent with him? Or say hurtful things? Did he do anything wrong to you?

Maybe you are making progress and he sees it and his feelings still remain for you.

Yeah, he broke up with me because I was emotionally neglecting him for pretty much our whole relationship save for about 7 months because I'm an alcoholic. We were together for 3.5 years. I was not violent with him. I never said hurtful things but I used to tell him he should leave me because he's too good for me and if I drank in public we usually got in a fight after because he'd get embarrassed about my behavior.

He usually just wasn't great at communicating his feelings and kept things to himself until it became a crisis point for him.
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xjayguyx posted...

Best to ask him really.

I would but I had a conversation with him about what's going on between us two weeks ago and the two options were "live together and see if he wants to be with me" or "move on and see other women" and he didn't really give me a concrete answer but we are living together still and he's not seeing or dating other women. I don't want to have him feel pressured by me constantly bringing up conversations about our relationship or anything.
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Jen0125 posted...

xjayguyx posted...

Why did he break up with you because of your drinking? We're you violent with him? Or say hurtful things? Did he do anything wrong to you?

Maybe you are making progress and he sees it and his feelings still remain for you.

Yeah, he broke up with me because I was emotionally neglecting him for pretty much our whole relationship save for about 7 months because I'm an alcoholic. We were together for 3.5 years. I was not violent with him. I never said hurtful things but I used to tell him he should leave me because he's too good for me and if I drank in public we usually got in a fight after because he'd get embarrassed about my behavior.

He usually just wasn't great at communicating his feelings and kept things to himself until it became a crisis point for him.

Men don't usually talk about their feelings if they are manly type men.

Ask him/talk to him about it is your best bet. If you still have feelings for him then he's the person you should be talking to. Best wishes :)

FinalFantasyVII posted...

he wants to have non-committal sex with you.

Sorry Jen, I know its not what you want to hear.

Guys dont change.. as much as you want them to.

Next he'll be wanting to have sex with other women as an excuse to confirm his feelings for you.

Btw, good job for admitting you had a problem and seeked help :)
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Jen0125 posted...

xjayguyx posted...

Best to ask him really.

I would but I had a conversation with him about what's going on between us two weeks ago and the two options were "live together and see if he wants to be with me" or "move on and see other women" and he didn't really give me a concrete answer but we are living together still and he's not seeing or dating other women. I don't want to have him feel pressured by me constantly bringing up conversations about our relationship or anything.

Ah ya well give it some more time. A hug is a good sign he still cares about you that's for sure.

xjayguyx posted...

Ask him/talk to him about it is your best bet. If you still have feelings for him then he's the person you should be talking to. Best wishes :)

I'm planning to talk to him in two more weeks. That'll be a month after our first conversation so it won't seem like I'm hounding him about trying to commit to something. It'll just be a check in from our previous conversation.

JixHedgehog posted...

Sorry Jen, I know its not what you want to hear.

Guys dont change.. as much as you want them to.

Next he'll be wanting to have sex with other women as an excuse to confirm his feelings for you.

Btw, good job for admitting you had a problem and seeked help :)

What do you mean guys don't change as much as I want them to? What am I expecting to change in this scenario?
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Jen0125 posted...

FinalFantasyVII posted...

he wants to have non-committal sex with you.

I'm not doing that. I have some self-respect now.

Lovely. But I hope your question is answered. He wants to know if he can still sway you.

and that's dumb anyways

we change all the time, everyone does.
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FinalFantasyVII posted...

Lovely. But I hope your question is answered. He wants to know if he can still sway you.

That just seems to be one of a few different opinions.
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helIy posted...

and that's dumb anyways

we change all the time, everyone does.

What about this bird though

Maybe it was his twjn
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Blightzkrieg posted...

Maybe it was his twjn

This seems to be the most likely option so far.
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Jen0125 posted...

xjayguyx posted...

Ask him/talk to him about it is your best bet. If you still have feelings for him then he's the person you should be talking to. Best wishes :)

I'm planning to talk to him in two more weeks. That'll be a month after our first conversation so it won't seem like I'm hounding him about trying to commit to something. It'll just be a check in from our previous conversation.

JixHedgehog posted...

Sorry Jen, I know its not what you want to hear.

Guys dont change.. as much as you want them to.

Next he'll be wanting to have sex with other women as an excuse to confirm his feelings for you.

Btw, good job for admitting you had a problem and seeked help :)

What do you mean guys don't change as much as I want them to? What am I expecting to change in this scenario?

Whether his feelings would come back or not.

After 2 weeks he'd have a pretty good idea on whether or not the person he was officially together with before (and currently living with) was worth another shot or not.
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Wouldn't it be sweet if your twin and his twin got married

It would be like a fairy tale

Your suffering and misery allowed for the happiness of better people to be possible
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Y'all need to either fuck or move out and get on with your lives

JixHedgehog posted...

Whether his feelings would come back or not.

After 2 weeks he'd have a pretty good idea on whether or not the person he was officially together with before (and currently living with) was worth another shot or not.

I don't know. Have you ever been in a situation like this? It's complicated. We were together for 3.5 years. But I'll talk to him in a couple weeks and move forward from there. He may just be being cautious or maybe his feelings aren't growing any stronger and it's over. Either way, it's his choice what happens.

Blightzkrieg posted...

Wouldn't it be sweet if your twin and his twin got married

It would be like a fairy tale

Your suffering and misery allowed for the happiness of better people to be possible

That should become a Lifetime movie.
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So just to clarify you actually want to be back in a relationship with him yes?
As for the question it's probably a force of habit.
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So much crap happens in relationships because one or both people won't just communicate. Talk to him about this, not us. A relationship that long is probably worth saving, but that's up to both of you to figure out.

Having a hard conversation isn't fun. But it's necessary. Either talk together and deal with this or one of you needs to move out. You can't stay in limbo like this. It's not good for either of you.

having lived with an ex, post breakup once before.. that's a recipe for disaster. Props for getting sober though, it isn't easy.

wwinterj25 posted...

So just to clarify you actually want to be back in a relationship with him yes?
As for the question it's probably a force of habit.

Yes, I do for sure. But if he doesn't want to I'm obviously willing to accept that.

I don't think so because we have not been affectionate with each other at all since I've been back.

SushiSquid posted...

So much crap happens in relationships because one or both people won't just communicate. Talk to him about this, not us. A relationship that long is probably worth saving, but that's up to both of you to figure out.

Having a hard conversation isn't fun. But it's necessary. Either talk together and deal with this or one of you needs to move out. You can't stay in limbo like this. It's not good for either of you.

Yeah, like I said my plan is to wait a month to talk to him because I already had a conversation as soon as I got home. I don't want to hound him about it because I don't want him to feel pressured about having a relationship with me. That's in two weeks. I just thought it'd be a goofy topic to speculate with. Nothing serious.

DeathMagnetic80 posted...

having lived with an ex, post breakup once before.. that's a recipe for disaster. Props for getting sober though, it isn't easy.

I've lived with one previously already before. But this isn't so bad. We aren't on bad terms or anything. But I'm not planning on doing this long term. Just while we figure out if we're getting back together or not. If we're not getting back together I'm planning on moving out.
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green dragon posted...

Or it could just be a hug between friends. I hug my friends sometimes

I hug my friends all the time...
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Jen0125 posted...

Yes, I do for sure. But if he doesn't want to I'm obviously willing to accept that.

I thought as much. Just don't be a doormat and read into things too much. I'm sure you already know that though.

Jen0125 posted...

I don't think so because we have not been affectionate with each other at all since I've been back.

I mean unless he sit's down and talks with you or shows more affection then a hug it could mean anything so I'm just shooting the breeze.

Jen0125 posted...

I just thought it'd be a goofy topic to speculate with. Nothing serious.

Whoops. I guess I missed that. -_-
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Maybe you have changed for the better and he has noticed

His sock has been neglecting him.
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He pickpocketed you, please check your wallet
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MICHALECOLE posted...

Maybe you have changed for the better and he has noticed

I have definitely changed for the better. I'm not drinking and I'm doing a lot of therapy to help with my self esteem and self worth so I'm not as negative. I'm also taking medication to manage my depression and anxiety.

Firewood18 posted...

His sock has been neglecting him.

hehehe

Greenfox111 posted...

He pickpocketed you, please check your wallet

My credit card is missing! :o
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I thought weyou decided to move on 'cause how/when/why he broke up with you?
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dragon504 posted...

I thought weyou decided to move on 'cause how/when/why he broke up with you?

No, I didn't. I was going to wait to get home from treatment to talk to him about the living situation and figure it out from there. That's when he said he was confused about what he wanted to do because he thought he didn't have romantic feelings for me but after he saw me when I got home he realized he might still have them. But he's healing and he's very hurt from my alcoholism so I'm trying to be very sensitive to his needs right now.
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Didn't read, I ate shrimps with the wife 20min ago

Lol those shrimps are shrooms
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I like shrimps.
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I texted him that Ernie was borking at a dog that was borking at the tv and he replied "aw I miss you guys."

Hmmmm the plot thickens.
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The D.E.N.N.I.S. System
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solid_kush posted...

The D.E.N.N.I.S. System

Oh snap

Jen0125 posted...

JixHedgehog posted...

Whether his feelings would come back or not.

After 2 weeks he'd have a pretty good idea on whether or not the person he was officially together with before (and currently living with) was worth another shot or not.

I don't know. Have you ever been in a situation like this? It's complicated. We were together for 3.5 years. But I'll talk to him in a couple weeks and move forward from there. He may just be being cautious or maybe his feelings aren't growing any stronger and it's over. Either way, it's his choice what happens.

Yup, about the same amount of time together and things went south, we were on and off while still living together and just like DeathMagnetic said, it was hell

Thankfully the post break up period didnt last very long. Lease was up and we ended up living separately and that really sped up the end of whatever it was we were doing.

Anyway, you know you like him, you're sure of that and that's good, we just hope his heart is in the right place
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JixHedgehog posted...

Yup, about the same amount of time together and things went south, we were on and off while still living together and just like DeathMagnetic said, it was hell

It's not the time together. It's more to do with the alcoholism than the time. That's what I meant when I asked if you had been in a situation like this.
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