Poll of the Day > i really hate when people call me on the phone when they know i don't like it

(+) Yeah! (+)

especially if they're my friend.

you know i get phone anxiety so why are you putting me on the spot like that >_>

it feels rude.
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same
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Isn't your job basically talking on the phone all day?
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green dragon posted...

Isn't your job basically talking on the phone all day?

yeah i can do it at work. at least i could. idk how it'll be when i get back in a week and a couple days.

but i hate personal calls. i have terrible phone anxiety. i actually make personal calls from my work phone because it's easier for me.
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Can someone explain this to me? I really don't understand the whole "anxious from phone calls" thing. To me, it seems even easier, there's no visual anything you have to worry about and you can just keep doing whatever it is you were doing usually. Or is it because of the fact that you don't have visual cues and body language that bothers you?

i don't like talking on the phone. there's too much pressure to have answers for things right away.
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Jen0125 posted...

but i hate personal calls. i have terrible phone anxiety.

I can't actually understand this, because while I'm not a huge fan of talking to people on the phone, I'd far rather talk to friends on a phone - people I actually trust and like - than speaking with total strangers concerning business, knowing that I might be recorded by my employer and that the person I'm talking to will be far less forgiving or understanding about any potential mistakes or social faux pas.

There seems like far more social anxiety and pressure on work calls than there are for personal calls. Doubly so if your job is something that can actually have major effects on the life of whoever you're talking to, or is likely to result in a lot of customers being either upset/anxious themselves or outright anger and aggressive.


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I never looked at it as being 'anxious', I just dislike using the phone in general. I know it's not hard to get one without a cord but then you gotta stand there and hold it, and half the time you can't hear anything if the other person is having connection issues. I've taken calls at work where people just vanish mid-sentence.

Talking on the phone is one of the reasons Im so adverse to adulting

I tend to make sure early on that the person on the other line knows that I have no idea what Im doing and it helps somewhat
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The year is 2040 ...

"I have e-mail anxiety."

unless it's my grandma I don't answer my phone.
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*calls Jen to say that Im sorry*
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GanglyKhan posted...

"I have e-mail anxiety."

Huh, that sounds like something I posted a while ago.
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I understand phone anxiety, I hate talking on the phone myself. what i fear most when talking with friends is that they might have the phone on speaker or something and a bunch of other people are listening to me without me knowing

Jen0125 posted...

i actually make personal calls from my work phone because it's easier for me.

this i can't say i understand at all though, how does changing the phone make it easier?
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Do you guys also hate talking to people in person?

Greenfox111 posted...

this i can't say i understand at all though, how does changing the phone make it easier?

no clue. it doesn't make sense. i feel like it's just because i feel more professional calling from that phone. i only ever call to make doctors appointments and things from that phone. i don't just call up my friends or things like that.
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Ultima_Dragoon posted...

Do you guys also hate talking to people in person?

yes
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Jen0125 posted...

you know i get phone anxiety so why are you putting me on the spot like that >_>

I mean a friend would actually challenge that anxiety to try and help you snap out of it. Still I generally don't like talking on phones. I don't have anxiety about doing so or anything like that but most the time something goes wrong. Either I can't hear the other person, they can't hear me, the phone cuts off and so on. On mobiles my ear tends to get hot from the phone after a while too. Text, email or if possible face to face is much better.

GanglyKhan posted...

The year is 2040 ...

"I have e-mail anxiety."

That probably is a thing even now tbh. Anxiety can take many forms and worse of all some of it has no explanation as to why. Anxiety isn't logical too and certainly isn't something to make fun of just because you don't understand it. Grow up.

Ultima_Dragoon posted...

Do you guys also hate talking to people in person?

I prefer talking to people in person tbh.
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Ultima_Dragoon posted...

Do you guys also hate talking to people in person?

depends who it is

wwinterj25 posted...

I mean a friend would actually challenge that anxiety to try and help you snap out of it.

that's not up to them to decide. >=|
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Jen0125 posted...

that's not up to them to decide. >=|

Sometimes some folk need a push or even a kick in the right direction. However if you want to stick in that loop then don't answer the phone.
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I can't stand phone talking either. When I was an editor for a website, the admin/IT guy was middle-aged and hated texting. It was brutal sometimes. He'd beg me to take phone calls... I'd relent every so often to compromise, but my god did I not enjoy it. He was a really nice guy, but I'd be on the phone for minimum 1 hour.
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wwinterj25 posted...

Jen0125 posted...

that's not up to them to decide. >=|

Sometimes some folk need a push or even a kick in the right direction. However if you want to stick in that loop then don't answer the phone.

that's not up to someone else to decide lol.

i don't answer the phone. i just text them once the phone is done ringing.
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TheCyborgNinja posted...

I can't stand phone talking either. When I was an editor for a website, the admin/IT guy was middle-aged and hated texting. It was brutal sometimes. He'd beg me to take phone calls... I'd relent every so often to compromise, but my god did I not enjoy it. He was a really nice guy, but I'd be on the phone for minimum 1 hour.

ugh. that sounds brutal. i hate that. i hate when you get caught on the phone and there's weird silences or no one is talking but no one is ending the conversation. there's just so many things that can go wrong on the phone that texting avoids.
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Lol this sounds exactly like me, less no nowadays though cos I have to do it so often at work.

I think it started when I noticed how awkward I was on the phone in my late teens. I remember this one girl used to call me all the time and thered just be long awkward silences. Then when wed both start talking at the same time and itd be like oh sorry you talk, then wed talk at the sam time again. Basically the telephone equivalent of walking into someone then doing that awkward dance when you try to get out of each others way. Cringe.

I also hate when I text people for this exact reason and they wanna respond to me by calling. No m8 if I wanted to call you I would have. Take a hint.

I think Ive definitely gotten better though, having to be on the phone constantly at work helps.

How are you on the phone at work though @Jen0125 ? Is it just personal calls youre weird with?
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Just use messenger.
That's how I stay connected with my people.
Sometimes I talk to a whole bunch of friends at the same time.
It's awesome.
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Jen0125 posted...

i don't answer the phone. i just text them once the phone is done ringing.

Problem solved then.
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SusanGreenEyes posted...

Just use messenger.
That's how I stay connected with my people.
Sometimes I talk to a whole bunch of friends at the same time.
It's awesome.

i don't want to talk to a bunch of people at the same time. that's way too much.

FatalAccident posted...

How are you on the phone at work though @Jen0125 ? Is it just personal calls youre weird with?

i'm fine on the phone at work. it's a function of my job and i have a defined purpose for calling and being called. i also direct the conversation completely so i don't have any issues with awkward silences lol.
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wwinterj25 posted...

Jen0125 posted...

i don't answer the phone. i just text them once the phone is done ringing.

Problem solved then.

You still get the anxiety pang
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SusanGreenEyes posted...

Just use messenger.
That's how I stay connected with my people.
Sometimes I talk to a whole bunch of friends at the same time.
It's awesome.

AOL shut that down a while ago.

Thats not as bad then. I would rather struggle with personal calls than work calls. I still get the weird anxiety feeling when the phone starts ringing at work. To the point where that default Samsung ringtone makes me shudder every time now whether its my phone or not.
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Doctor Foxx posted...

You still get the anxiety pang

True but some folk are always going to get that by the sound of it if they refuse to help themselves. At least by not answering their phone they are not going to have said anxiety as long as if they answered it. Also perhaps said friends will take the hint eventually.
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Talking on the phone is maybe my favorite way of talking to people. I can do it without worrying about body language or what Im wearing or where I am. I can do other things while Im talking. Gooood stuff.

I think on average, I use like 3500-4000 minutes on my phone plan every month. Sometimes a lot more. Like a whole lot. During the winter maybe double.

I have text anxiety though. It sometimes takes me fifteen drafts and thirty minutes to send the right text. And I multiple text a lot. Ill send maybe eight to eleven texts in a row occasionally. All of them awful. Wow texting is stressful.
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MrMelodramatic posted...

I think on average, I use like 3500-4000 minutes on my phone plan every month. Sometimes a lot more. Like a whole lot. During the winter maybe double.

you sound like a cool dude
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Thanks man it helps offset the ten minutes a month I talk to people in person.
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rofl
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FatalAccident posted...

Thats not as bad then. I would rather struggle with personal calls than work calls. I still get the weird anxiety feeling when the phone starts ringing at work. To the point where that default Samsung ringtone makes me shudder every time now whether its my phone or not.

i used to screen my calls at work and return voicemails but i'm going to try not to do that when i get back because that was one of the only things that i would get coached on to fix with my performance.
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Greenfox111 posted...

what i fear most when talking with friends is that they might have the phone on speaker or something and a bunch of other people are listening to me without me knowing

"Am I on speaker?"
Problem solved.

wwinterj25 posted...

Anxiety isn't logical too and certainly isn't something to make fun of just because you don't understand it. Grow up.

I deal with my own anxieties. The difference is I don't use it as an excuse to not perform what it is I need to do. I asked for Jen to explain it and instead of trying to do that, she danced circles and just rephrased her original post.

I mean, hell dude, you're the one that posted: wwinterj25 posted...

Sometimes some folk need a push or even a kick in the right direction. However if you want to stick in that loop then don't answer the phone.

You get where I'm coming from.

GanglyKhan posted...

I asked for Jen to explain it and instead of trying to do that, she danced circles and just rephrased her original post.

What? I said there is too much pressure to answer for things right away. Just because you don't like someone's answer doesn't mean they didn't answer your question. Get over it, ya baby.

And when do I NEED to talk on the phone with a friend when it isn't an emergency? I'll do it in that case but it's not a need to talk on the phone.

I'll do it for business matters like making appointments and my job and that's about all I NEED a phone for. I do get anxiety making appointments but I NEED to go to doctors. I don't NEED to talk to friends. It doesn't stop me from "performing what I need to do."
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NEED

Wanted to emphasize since apparently he has an issue with understanding.
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Jen0125 posted...

Wanted to emphasize since apparently he has an issue with understanding.

Don't get your panties in a bunch, it's unbecoming, ok? Not everyone is as "with it" as you when it comes to this kind of stuff. That being said, thanks for taking the time to reiterate, your last post cleared it up a bit more since you broke it down from just phones to things like urgency and work, etc;

My panties aren't in a bunch. It's unbecoming to talk about a lady's panties, ok?

And you're welcome!
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I hate texting and love talking on the phone

Sorry, but I would be a terrible friend for you :/

That's okay. We always have PotD.
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Talking on the phone is great. I try to do it as much as possible while driving.

i'm calling da poleez
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GanglyKhan posted...

I deal with my own anxieties. The difference is I don't use it as an excuse to not perform what it is I need to do.

"I'm not racist I have black friends".
Honestly though everyone experiences anxiety differently and at different levels. Anxiety is a normal human emotion afterall. It however becomes problematic for some folk, even more so those who have it 24/7 for no reason. Point is who are you to judge? Unless you've been through the exact same situation you can't relate to it, not really and certainly shouldn't be mocking people on how they deal with it. You can give advice but anything other than that is just being a massive bell end to be honest.
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wwinterj25 posted...

Honestly though everyone experiences anxiety differently and at different levels

Yeah, that's something I tend to forget. I feel like with how personal anxiety is, a lot of us always feel like we have it the worst, and that's really not the case. It's easy for me to fly off the handle on stuff like this and I need to chill my jets from time to time. I still don't like it when people use it as an excuse, but in this case, I was in the wrong for assuming as much.