Poll of the Day > I'm having such a hard time with Ernie gone

(+) Yeah! (+)

I miss everything about him

Life is so much more lonely with him not around

I don't want him to be gone anymore
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Wut about Bert?
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I just ignored that person because he is a complete piece of shit.
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find a therapist.
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Kimbos_Egg posted...

find a therapist.

I'm already seeing one. We talked about it a little but I've only seen her once since he passed.
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The callous answer is to get a new dog. It sounds horrible, especially when the wounds are still fresh, but it's one of the most common and most effective means of coping with the loss.

You won't really "forget" your old dog, but the love of a new dog will still fill your heart, help you make new happy memories rather than just dwelling on the past, and will be there to help cheer you up when you have down moments. It's pretty much the best therapy you can get to cope with the loss of a beloved pet.


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Ya, ma mom is still getting over our pug dying. You have my extended sympathyempathy
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The grief process is different for everyone. Although you never stop missing those who are gone it does get more easy as time goes on. I'm personally against getting a pet to "replace" the one lost too. I had my cat for over 15 years and still have no desire to get another one and we had to put him to sleep around 3 years ago. I'm not saying I'll never get another cat again though.
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get a new dog
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wwinterj25 posted...

I'm personally against getting a pet to "replace" the one lost too. I had my cat for over 15 years and still have no desire to get another one and we had to put him to sleep around 3 years ago.

In my experience, most people say that, but then after getting a new pet they almost always talk about how glad they are to have gotten the new pet, and how it was absolutely the right decision. I don't think I've ever known anyone who got a new pet and then wound up regretting it afterward.

That being said, I've mostly avoided getting a new dog after my old one died years ago, so I'm not necessarily the best judge of that particular scenario. Then again, I'm mostly avoiding getting a new dog for other reasons - I'd happily get a new dog if those issues no longer applied.


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ParanoidObsessive posted...

The callous answer is to get a new dog. It sounds horrible, especially when the wounds are still fresh, but it's one of the most common and most effective means of coping with the loss.

Story time. One memory of the shelter that stands out was of a family that came to get a new dog after their senior lab passed. They put the dog down due to terminal illness and no quality of life, and it was time for another dog. Nothing wrong there.

It turned out they had put their dog down less than an hour before coming in. They came from the vet to the shelter. I was honestly really shocked to hear that. Their rationale was they'd lost dogs before and knew how painful the in between was and didn't want to deal with that again.

So you know what? It's never too early to consider a new dog. Although I still think it was a little early for that family, but in the end they were happy and the dog has a good home.

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get an old dog
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ParanoidObsessive posted...

The callous answer is to get a new dog. It sounds horrible, especially when the wounds are still fresh, but it's one of the most common and most effective means of coping with the loss.

You won't really "forget" your old dog, but the love of a new dog will still fill your heart, help you make new happy memories rather than just dwelling on the past, and will be there to help cheer you up when you have down moments. It's pretty much the best therapy you can get to cope with the loss of a beloved pet.

People keep saying maybe I should foster. But I feel like I'd feel too guilty to get a different dog right now. I'm sure I will in the next year or so but not right now. It's not really a callous answer either.

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get a dag
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It's hard to lose someone or something you love. I miss my little girl siren still, and it's been over a year. I still call out to her when I wake up sometimes cause even after all this time, I'm still used to having her sleep on me.

I have not gotten another pet, and I don't plan on it. I had siren almost 19 years and she was like a daughter to me and my wife. You can't just replace that.

I said it before, but i'm sorry for your loss. You were a great parent to Ernie.
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wolfy42 posted...

she was like a daughter to me and my wife. You can't just replace that.

Except widows and widowers do often get remarried, and parents who lose a child will often have more, so it's not as if death needs to be the be-all, end-all of all possible relationships.

You're not really replacing your lost love as much as you are finding a new one. That's one of the core principles that people with survivor's guilt usually have to work through as an idea.


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new answer.... when ready adopt a dog from a shelter. they always need a home.
even if it takes 2 years they'll be waiting for you.
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Maybe you could snuggle with the kitty. I know whenever my dogs werent with me, but a kitty was, I would snuggle with them. It would help me feel a little better. Its not the best answer. But it could probably give you a little comfort for a short time...
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I was against getting a new dog after mine passed. My wife really needed it though so we adopted a new one. I was worried that it would be like we were just replacing Toby but it hasnt felt that way at all.

our new dog has his own personality and while it hasnt stopped me from missing my dog it is helpful to have a new pet to love and care for. Sometimes I am still sad, I was looking at some pictures of him we have on the wall and teared up over the fact that he isnt around anymore.

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Get a shelter dog. I volunteered at the local humane society and it's fucking disgusting what happens to the ones that don't get rescued. Go save a life and maybe you'll feel better and less guilty.
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You could get a cat and probably not feel guilty for "filling the void" of your loss since it wouldn't be a dog...

I used to strongly hate cats, then I met the little guy my wife and I have (stray living under our house), and he is actually a really sweet dude. Really respectful and loves his morning and bedtime snuggles. We adopted him and I never want another cat again because nothing will ever feel like the bond we have.

Just a suggestion... sorry for your loss.

By the way, litter maintenance is super super easy compared to dog walks, or at least it is with one cat. I've had both cats and dogs, and I love my dog but I think I'm more of a cat person now.
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I really want to get a black cat but I'm not sure how my current cat will get along with another cat. She loved Ernie so maybe it wouldn't be bad? She took to Ernie instantly.

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Jen0125 posted...

I really want to get a black cat but I'm not sure how my current cat will get along with another cat. She loved Ernie so maybe it wouldn't be bad? She took to Ernie instantly.

Cats will take awhile to get used to each, but eventually they will. They may or may not be really close, but they will learn to tolerate each other eventually.

pet semetary

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmE3xM5sCEw" data-time="
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ParanoidObsessive posted...

The callous answer is to get a new dog. It sounds horrible, especially when the wounds are still fresh, but it's one of the most common and most effective means of coping with the loss.

You won't really "forget" your old dog, but the love of a new dog will still fill your heart, help you make new happy memories rather than just dwelling on the past, and will be there to help cheer you up when you have down moments. It's pretty much the best therapy you can get to cope with the loss of a beloved pet.

Pretty much. A large chunk of the grief that comes with people losing something comes from how accustomed they are to having that thing in their lives and how much changes with that thing gone. You come home, no dog to greet you. You go to bed, no dog trying to snuggle with you. You make your dinner, there's no dog to feed. You notice it's a nice day for a walk, but there's no dog to walk. Those disruptions to your routine are very hard to ignore, and as soon as you notice them, you're reminded of how much you miss Ernie and how sad you are. Get a new dog, and you certainly won't stop missing Ernie or being sad, but you'll fill the void in your daily routine such that you won't be constantly reminded that he's gone. That does a lot to help you be sad on your own terms, instead of having it forced on you several times a day.
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Jen0125 posted...

ParanoidObsessive posted...

The callous answer is to get a new dog. It sounds horrible, especially when the wounds are still fresh, but it's one of the most common and most effective means of coping with the loss.

You won't really "forget" your old dog, but the love of a new dog will still fill your heart, help you make new happy memories rather than just dwelling on the past, and will be there to help cheer you up when you have down moments. It's pretty much the best therapy you can get to cope with the loss of a beloved pet.

People keep saying maybe I should foster. But I feel like I'd feel too guilty to get a different dog right now. I'm sure I will in the next year or so but not right now. It's not really a callous answer either.

feel guilty?

think about it like this. Dogs don't own anything. There is no living will for them to write because there is only one thing they have and thats their home. its the one thing they CAN leave behind for someone who needs it. Ernie would want to know another dog who needed a home found one. youre not replacing a dog, you are seeing to your dogs final wish to give the home he had to another pup that needs it.
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adjl posted...

You make your dinner, there's no dog to feed.

My dog has been dead for years, yet I still occasionally find myself unconsciously pulling small pieces off my food when I eat certain things because that's how I'd feed her when I was eating.


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I don't feel as though getting another dog is replacing Ernie but I have a really bad guilt complex. I already feel responsible that he passed. In my mind, not logical, I'd feel guilty getting a dog so soon because I feel like it wouldn't be respectful? Idk. I really just want Ernie back and another dog could never replace him. But I do want to get another dog in the next 6 months or so. I feel like if I get one now I'll just compare everything it does or doesn't do to Ernie instead of treating it like its own independent being.

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Jen0125 posted...

I already feel responsible that he passed.

Don't. No way is it your fault. That fact you miss him just means you have a lot of great memories with him.

Kimbos_Egg posted...

get a new dog

That's a callous answer. It sounds horrible, especially when the wounds are still fresh, but it's one of the most common and most effective means of coping with the loss.
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We got a second dog back when our first turned 10 and it helped to keep him young.
We had to put our old boy down a few months ago and still having our little guy around has been an immense help.
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yeah go get another dog
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You can always go to the shelter and volunteer. That might help a little, too...
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LinkPizza posted...

You can always go to the shelter and volunteer. That might help a little, too...

uh, and then be surrounded by even more death?

great idea
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Grief is weird and different for each person. But over time it will get better. It always does

I made a topic here when I put down my last dog. I felt guilty because I didn't feel sad or break down in tears or anything. My whole family cried as we spent the last few moments with her, and I felt... Nothing. Literally nothing. Not sadness, not happiness. Just nothing.

Saw my therapist and talked about it, and apparently that's not really all that unusual. But I still felt really guilty about it, and that took me a lot longer to "get over" than the actual death of my pet.
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Noop_Noop posted...

think about it like this. Dogs don't own anything. There is no living will for them to write because there is only one thing they have and thats their home. its the one thing they CAN leave behind for someone who needs it. Ernie would want to know another dog who needed a home found one. youre not replacing a dog, you are seeing to your dogs final wish to give the home he had to another pup that needs it.

very interesting, well said
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Renraku_San posted...

LinkPizza posted...

You can always go to the shelter and volunteer. That might help a little, too...

uh, and then be surrounded by even more death?

great idea

You can help out with the living ones, too. Death is always going to be around. Also, I do think helping out at a shelter is a great idea like you said. Even though what you said was filled with sarcasm...
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Get a dog when you feel ready. One thing I suggest is to at some point go to a Humane Society or some other shelter near you "just to look."

I have Katy's dog tag on my keychain. Sometimes I have dreams about her, and that sounds depressing, but it always makes me really happy. Eventually the grief will fade and the happy memories will remain and you'll fall in love with a great pup.

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Get out of the house and get rid of all Ernie toys laying g around, a few pictures is okay but don't make the apt seem like he should be there. Rearrange the furniture and such to make break your own habits of looking for him. Buy a bicycle...
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If ya plan on getting a dog get something kinda the opposite of Ernie. Get a female bichon. Those dogs are super relaxed an overly friendly. My auntie has one an she's adorable.

Doctor Foxx posted...

Story time. One memory of the shelter that stands out was of a family that came to get a new dog after their senior lab passed. They put the dog down due to terminal illness and no quality of life, and it was time for another dog. Nothing wrong there.

It turned out they had put their dog down less than an hour before coming in. They came from the vet to the shelter. I was honestly really shocked to hear that. Their rationale was they'd lost dogs before and knew how painful the in between was and didn't want to deal with that again.

So you know what? It's never too early to consider a new dog. Although I still think it was a little early for that family, but in the end they were happy and the dog has a good home.

Most definitely was too early. Wtf.

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McSame_as_Bush posted...

. Sometimes I have dreams about her, and that sounds depressing, but it always makes me really happy.

I had a dream last night that I was at a party with Ernie and Leonardo Dicaprio came and was mean to him so I punched him in the head

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Hi. I don't usually visit this board and didn't know what this would be about but I can tell it is about your deceased dog and you seem to be taking it really badly, so I couldn't not post to say that I'll keep you in my prayers tonight.
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Underleveled posted...

Hi. I don't usually visit this board and didn't know what this would be about but I can tell it is about your deceased dog and you seem to be taking it really badly, so I couldn't not post to say that I'll keep you in my prayers tonight.

Aw thanks, that's so sweet of you.

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Underleveled posted...

I don't usually visit this board and didn't know what this would be about

Good eye; I got modded at post #2 because I didn't have context into the personal life of TC.

Funny thing tho: if I had context into personal life of TC and referenced it, I would ALSO get modded for trolling. Well played GFaqs, well played.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEB6ibtdPZc" data-time="
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Dude what? :( I'm sorry. I must have missed it, I didn't know Ernie was gone. He passed naturally?

I know how you feel though, last month our family dog passed (not naturally even though it was about that time... I found her stuck in the shed... later than we should have even, so you can imagine the condition she was in) and it really fucked my head up. She was really my bro's dog and I didn't think it was gonna affect me as much, if I ended up finding her, but then I saw her and it messed me up. She was over a decade old. The other terrible condition was how heavy she was, I'll never be wanting any large animals ever again.

At exactly the same time, one of our chihuahuas just ended up disappearing. He never showed, so I figure he must have gotten loose and is also in a better place now. So that leaves us with (his) two chihuahua children who I love very much.

ParanoidObsessive posted...

wwinterj25 posted...

I'm personally against getting a pet to "replace" the one lost too. I had my cat for over 15 years and still have no desire to get another one and we had to put him to sleep around 3 years ago.

In my experience, most people say that, but then after getting a new pet they almost always talk about how glad they are to have gotten the new pet, and how it was absolutely the right decision. I don't think I've ever known anyone who got a new pet and then wound up regretting it afterward.

That being said, I've mostly avoided getting a new dog after my old one died years ago, so I'm not necessarily the best judge of that particular scenario. Then again, I'm mostly avoiding getting a new dog for other reasons - I'd happily get a new dog if those issues no longer applied.

tbh, I found that it was helpful to adopt a new pet around the time some time before my current one starts to go downhill. While it's tough to lose a cat or dog, having another one around makes things a bit less painful.

And a few people I've known over the years who lost a dog wound up starting a rescue service... then keeping a bunch of the dogs themselves >_>
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Soup_or_Science posted...

Dude what? :( I'm sorry. I must have missed it, I didn't know Ernie was gone. He passed naturally?

We had to put him to sleep because he developed a growth in his abdomen. He lived for about 4 months after it was diagnosed.

Soup_or_Science posted...

I know how you feel though, last month our family dog passed (not naturally even though it was about that time... I found her stuck in the shed... later than we should have even, so you can imagine the condition she was in) and it really fucked my head up. She was really my bro's dog and I didn't think it was gonna affect me as much, if I ended up finding her, but then I saw her and it messed me up. She was over a decade old. The other terrible condition was how heavy she was, I'll never be wanting any large animals ever again.

At exactly the same time, one of our chihuahuas just ended up disappearing. He never showed, so I figure he must have gotten loose and is also in a better place now. So that leaves us with (his) two chihuahua children who I love very much.

I'm sorry :(

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Jen0125 posted...

I had a dream last night that I was at a party with Ernie and Leonardo Dicaprio came and was mean to him so I punched him in the head

Did he have a flamethrower

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Jen0125 posted...

McSame_as_Bush posted...

. Sometimes I have dreams about her, and that sounds depressing, but it always makes me really happy.

I had a dream last night that I was at a party with Ernie and Leonardo Dicaprio came and was mean to him so I punched him in the head

Shouldve kicked him in the nuts, as well...
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