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Current Events > Question for atheists: Say you died and find yourself in heaven.

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AmericaTheBrave
06/21/23 11:31:40 AM
#1:


In front of the pearly gates is St. Peter, smoking a cigarette. He looks you up and down, takes a long drag of his cig and says. "Well now. Don't you feel stupid."

How do you react?

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InTheEyesOfFire
06/21/23 11:32:20 AM
#2:


>Ask for a cigarette

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DementedDurian
06/21/23 11:33:36 AM
#3:


St. Peter? That's rich...

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Fable
06/21/23 11:33:50 AM
#4:


Impossible to answer since this wouldn't ever actually happen.

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Prestoff
06/21/23 11:34:57 AM
#5:


I wouldn't feel stupid. If anything it just means God is more incompetent when it comes to evidence.

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LordMarshal
06/21/23 11:35:02 AM
#6:


Hes smoking? Clearly this is a trick. You cant fool me.

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LightHawKnight
06/21/23 11:35:10 AM
#7:


I would ask the fuck is wrong with you making people suffer so much.

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#8
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mystic_belmont
06/21/23 11:35:57 AM
#9:


I'd ask why they didn't provide more proof. God would know what it would take to convince, but never did.

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Avirosb
06/21/23 11:36:29 AM
#10:


AmericaTheBrave posted...
In front of the pearly gates is St. Peter, smoking a cigarette. He looks you up and down, takes a long drag of his cig and says. "Well now. Don't you feel stupid."

How do you react?

"Well yeah, can I have my clothes back?"

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LordMarshal
06/21/23 11:38:22 AM
#11:


More so this makes it sound like you are the only person to die there and go to the gates. It would be flooded with people just dying that day.

So hed be there smoking non-stop all day to make quips at atheists that happened to die?

Thered be thousands of other religions too and hes running around smoking to make jabs at them?

Clearly this is hell.

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DipDipDiver
06/21/23 11:38:44 AM
#12:


I'd tell Peter to go fuck himself and then flip double birds all the way to hell
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mercurydude
06/21/23 11:38:45 AM
#13:


I'm somewhere between an apatheist and panenthiest, but if I were to see that, I'd wonder why he needs cigarettes in heaven and why the hell he would care if someone was "wrong" about the nature of deity.

Every person in history would havel stood at his gates and probably every single one of them was wrong in some major way about what awaited them. St. Peter would probably too long bored by this point to get smug about it.

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AmericaTheBrave
06/21/23 11:40:21 AM
#14:


[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


You're in front of the gates. You're not actually in heaven yet. You're about to be judged.

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mercurydude
06/21/23 11:41:38 AM
#15:


AmericaTheBrave posted...
You're in front of the gates. You're not actually in heaven yet. You're about to be judged.

So is this some Pascal's Wager "the bogeyman is going to get you if you don't believe like me!" bullshit?

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Avirosb
06/21/23 11:42:25 AM
#16:


I think I'd be okay with eternal suffering and torture.
It's a living.

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LordMarshal
06/21/23 11:42:56 AM
#17:


If this guy made the cut then im fine.

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Avirosb
06/21/23 11:43:47 AM
#18:


Dude dude what if it was George Carlin instead

like, whoa

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Funkydog
06/21/23 11:43:58 AM
#19:


I'd pull up that Stephen Fry interview where he says what he'd say in that situation and ask him to respond.

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Gobstoppers12
06/21/23 11:46:57 AM
#20:


"No I don't. Y'all could be making this a little more believable you know."

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Smackems
06/21/23 11:49:00 AM
#21:


"ok, so do you decide where I go based on my deeds or based on whether or not I believed in something that never showed me it existed?"

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froghunter75
06/21/23 11:50:37 AM
#22:


AmericaTheBrave posted...
In front of Mt Olympus is Zeus, smoking a cigarette. He looks you up and down, takes a long drag of his cig and says. "Well now. Don't you feel stupid."

How do you react?


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PMarth2002
06/21/23 11:56:53 AM
#23:


"No."

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voldothegr8
06/21/23 11:57:09 AM
#24:


"Huh. Soooooo, why is god such a sadistic asshole? Hard to get behind a being who allows torture, murder, cancer, and all the other unspeakable horrors some people go through."

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DeathVelvien
06/21/23 11:58:17 AM
#25:


Masturbate furiously

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#26
Post #26 was unavailable or deleted.
Karovorak
06/21/23 12:10:18 PM
#27:


Oh no, I was wrong and ended up in heaven.

How embarassing, I was never wrong in my life!

Wait, no, I was, multiple times. One last time on top of that doesn't make a difference.
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StormSignal
06/21/23 12:13:28 PM
#28:


ask if he ever tried dmt bro

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#29
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Smackems
06/21/23 12:20:36 PM
#30:


StormSignal posted...
ask if he ever tried dmt bro
Or if he's seen that pic of an orangutan fishing with a spear

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Xatrion
06/21/23 12:21:24 PM
#31:


Let's see. I've been away from religion for a while and have come to despise it. And you're saying for all my hatred of religion, I still made it to heaven? Wow. I would take his question and pose it to him.

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bladegash
06/21/23 12:47:05 PM
#32:


"before i go to hell, which denomination actually got it right? like what christian clan has the highest percentage of heaven membership in there? roman catholic, eastern orthodox, copts, anglican, baptists, methodists, pentecostals, mormans, adamites, messalians, nestorians, krstjani, insular christians, bogomilism, gnostics, adventists? or is heaven more of a jewish or islamic club?"

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AloneIBreak
06/21/23 1:01:50 PM
#33:


"Huh. Well I'll be damned."

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Ar0ge
06/21/23 1:02:32 PM
#34:


Prestoff posted...
I wouldn't feel stupid. If anything it just means God is more incompetent when it comes to evidence.

This
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ArsGoetia
06/21/23 1:04:35 PM
#35:


when i die and go to heaven and see god I'm gonna say
SHIT
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DD_Divine
06/21/23 1:04:58 PM
#36:


AmericaTheBrave posted...
In front of the pearly gates is St. Peter, smoking a cigarette. He looks you up and down, takes a long drag of his cig and says. "Well now. Don't you feel stupid."

How do you react?

bone cancer in children? How dare you.


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Cheater87
06/21/23 1:05:07 PM
#37:


50/50 chance *Shrugs*

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Hornezz
06/21/23 1:06:32 PM
#38:


Why would a perfect omnipotent being even create something stupid in the first place? It's his fault.

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Anarchy_Juiblex
06/21/23 1:07:32 PM
#39:


"God knew what would convince me, why didn't he?"

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evilpresident
06/21/23 1:10:05 PM
#40:


DD_Divine posted...
bone cancer in children? How dare you.
What's up with those parasites that live in people's eyes, huh???

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voldothegr8
06/21/23 1:14:48 PM
#41:


evilpresident posted...
What's up with those parasites that live in people's eyes, huh???
Or those penis seeking fish

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NatsuSama
06/21/23 1:18:14 PM
#42:


"Oh look, proof the Christian religion was actually right and not the thousand other gods and explanations for life after death. Hope he's not as sadistic and petty as his great book describes him to be lol"

Question for you TC.
Say you died and find out god was actually the Flying Spaghetti Monster and heaven is the apocalyptic land from the Dark Souls where you serve as a slave to fuel the universe. How do you react?

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Dark_Arbron
06/21/23 1:22:48 PM
#43:


NatsuSama posted...
"Oh look, proof the Christian religion was actually right and not the thousand other gods and explanations for life after death. Hope he's not as sadistic and petty as his great book describes him to be lol"

Question for you TC.
Say you died and find out god was actually the Flying Spaghetti Monster and heaven is the apocalyptic land from the Dark Souls where you serve as a slave to fuel the universe. How do you react?

I feel like this topic is based on the misunderstanding that atheists would continue refusing to believe even when presented with actual evidence of God's existence. Which... isn't the case. It's not some kind of "gotcha." We don't reject God's existence out of some kind of agenda, and being (genuinely) proven otherwise isn't something we'd fight tooth and nail against.

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bladegash
06/21/23 1:33:25 PM
#44:


NatsuSama posted...
heaven is the apocalyptic land from the Dark Souls where you serve as a slave to fuel the universe. How do you react?

a preferable afterlife than floating in clouds for eternity tbh. able to see quelaag or gwynevere titties every once in a while, crossbreed priscilla shaking her tail, dancer doing her sexy pole dancing spins.

yaaaaaaaa

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Dragon56
06/21/23 1:34:56 PM
#45:


Surely you guys would be smug at the gates of Heaven. Why not answer truthfully? You would be likely be in shock, sobbing, and pleading for forgiveness.
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DD_Divine
06/21/23 1:47:02 PM
#46:


Dragon56 posted...
Surely you guys would be smug at the gates of Heaven. Why not answer truthfully? You would be likely be in shock, sobbing, and pleading for forgiveness.

I would have questions and if free will is still something in my control I would want to ask some things

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dummy420
06/21/23 1:50:40 PM
#47:


No. I'd say the entry requirements were far less strict then I expected if I get to stay.

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A_Good_Boy
06/21/23 1:53:19 PM
#48:


Dragon56 posted...
Surely you guys would be smug at the gates of Heaven. Why not answer truthfully? You would be likely be in shock, sobbing, and pleading for forgiveness.
I'd ask Peter that since it's apparently clear that if atheists get to stand in front of the gates of heaven do chud bigots get the same opportunity or do they just wake up right in hell?

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boxoto
06/21/23 1:56:27 PM
#49:


why would I feel dumb when there are a brillion religions to choose from

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froghunter75
06/21/23 2:42:57 PM
#50:


Dragon56 posted...
Surely you guys would be smug at the gates of Heaven. Why not answer truthfully? You would be likely be in shock, sobbing, and pleading for forgiveness.

Forgiveness for what? Not believing in him? If god is so petty that he'd send me to hell for eternity just for not believing especially when there's absolutely zero reason to do so then he can fuck off.

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