Current Events > Do you feel like you "belong" to part of a tight knit community?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Do you have a healthy social life?

I tend to isolate from people often enough to know I don't

Ive belonged to several over the course of my life. At the moment its the expat community in my locality.

Offline, yes

Nope, no matter what it is I always end up on the outs with every community based on something I enjoy because theres always an element of dumb and/or extreme shit that I dont endorse. Whether it be politics or simply hobbies/interests.

I avoid communities

EmilyTheCEman posted...

Nope, no matter what it is I always end up on the outs with every community based on something I enjoy because theres always an element of dumb and/or extreme shit that I dont endorse. Whether it be politics or simply hobbies/interests.

Pretty much everyone who isn't liberal is pushed out of our friend group pretty quickly. Interests are quite diverse.

Have you tried Meetup?

bsp77 posted...

Pretty much everyone who isn't liberal is pushed out of our friend group pretty quickly. Interests are quite diverse.

Have you tried Meetup?

Nah, I just have real life friends that im able to talk or joke about anything with and have real discussions and/or civil disagreements with because context and intent are always understood since theres a mutual respect and trust. Much better than tiptoeing around a community making sure you stay within the realm of the hivemind.

I know I am part of a good community online, at least. We have our share of differences but our commonalities make us like each other well enough.

But I live in Tennessee currently. I do not wish to be part of my community offline, especially with regards to my immediate neighbors. Back when I lived in Cali, and even Idaho, I think I was a lot more directly active with my community.

EmilyTheCEman posted...

Nah, I just have real life friends that im able to talk or joke about anything with and have real discussions and/or civil disagreements with because context and intent are always understood since theres a mutual respect and trust. Much better than tiptoeing around a community making sure you stay within the realm of the hivemind.

I think this now calls into question what was meant by "community" and if people are a part of one. Are you and your friends not a "community"?

bsp77 posted...

I think this now calls into question what was meant by "community" and if people are a part of one. Are you and your friends not a "community"?

No because theres pretty much no crossover between them, its individual relationships I have from childhood, school and work over the years, were not like one big group.

EmilyTheCEman posted...

No because theres pretty much no crossover between them, its individual relationships I have from childhood, school and work over the years, were not like one big group.

Gotcha. The majority of my friends are also friends with each other.

Non-political examples: Ive loved Metal since I was a kid but most Metal communities (especially here) are insanely elitist gatekeepers that think anything more popular than their favorite obscure Icelandic Grindcore band that released one EP 30 years ago is bad and not real Metal. Also ive loved Mortal Kombat for 30 years and holy shit there is definitely a high percentage of small dick incel energy in the community that complain about characters not being white and/or dressed like strippers with massive tits and ass.

EmilyTheCEman posted...

Non-political examples: Ive loved Metal since I was a kid but most Metal communities (especially here) are insanely elitist gatekeepers that think anything more popular than their favorite obscure Icelandic Grindcore band that released one EP 30 years ago is bad and not real Metal. Also ive loved Mortal Kombat for 30 years and holy shit there is definitely a high percentage of small dick incel energy in the community that complain about characters not being white and/or dressed like strippers with massive tits and ass.

Yeah, I get that. I helped run a more nerd-centric Meetup group from 2017 to 2020 (stupid Covid), and while lots of them were cool and are now my friends, there was that incel subset that caused issues. And I don't mean incel as in virgin, I mean the misogynist type. I had to kick some out of the group.

Also, the cool virgins in the group are no longer virgins, as the social indoctrination helped them immensely.

bsp77 posted...

as the social indoctrination helped them immensely.

Indoctrination makes you sound like a Nazi.

But yes, being more amicable and less of a bigot well tend to make you more approachable generally speaking.

You sound like you're trying to gaslight/mislead people with those words. "Hey there fellow liberal! This how we be!"

EthanSilver posted...

Indoctrination makes you sound like a Nazi.

But yes, being more amicable and less of a bigot well tend to make you more approachable generally speaking.

You sound like you're trying to gaslight/mislead people with those words. "Hey there fellow liberal! This how we be!"

What the fuck? I am literally talking about guys who were loners who start hanging out with a friend group and learn how to be social. That is it.

Politics has nothing to do with it. I mentioned that non-liberal people tended to stay away more so because we have quite a few LGBTQ+ people and intolerance is not accepted.

im going to be completely alone the rest of my life haha

Don't get mad, just telling you how it can sound.

Friendly criticism. Unless the goal for you is exactly that. Phrasing it like that.

Like this too. With no context. Not being liberal doesn't necessarily mean you're a bigot by default.

bsp77 posted...

Pretty much everyone who isn't liberal is pushed out of our friend group pretty quickly. Interests are quite diverse.

EmilyTheCEman posted...

Non-political examples: Ive loved Metal since I was a kid but most Metal communities (especially here) are insanely elitist gatekeepers that think anything more popular than their favorite obscure Icelandic Grindcore band that released one EP 30 years ago is bad and not real Metal. Also ive loved Mortal Kombat for 30 years and holy shit there is definitely a high percentage of small dick incel energy in the community that complain about characters not being white and/or dressed like strippers with massive tits and ass.

wrt the metal community, no they really aren't against popular bands as a whole. maiden, priest, sabbath, motorhead to name just a few are all loved by the metal community.

There is a rejection of things like deathcore and bands that have been falsely labeled as metal (nu-metal and a lot of the 00s -core bands) typically, but that isn't because its "popular" its because its bad ioo

The worst part of the metal is the rampant misogyny and racism that is allowed to exist unchecked by far too many people

EthanSilver posted...

Don't get mad, just telling you how it can sound.

Friendly criticism.

Like this too. With no context. Not being liberal doesn't necessarily mean you're a bigot by default.

I do know that, but conservatives tend to not like us. Maybe we are vocal about stuff? Not sure. Typically we were just hanging out and doing stuff.

I can admit that "indoctrination" is maybe a word with bad historic ties. I really did simply mean that we taught socially awkward guys to be less socially awkward. It wasn't poltical.

nope. i only start feeling like i belong somewhere if that thing somehow organically manifested while i was around. sometimes i've helped form them.

but every single time, i outgrow them. or they outgrow me. or both. after some time, i just don't belong anymore. either because of an event, or just simply losing interest.

bsp77 posted...

I do know that, but conservatives tend to not like us. Maybe we are vocal about stuff? Not sure. Typically we were just hanging out and doing stuff.

I can admit that "indoctrination" is maybe a word with bad historic ties. I really did simply mean that we taught socially awkward guys to be less socially awkward. It wasn't poltical.

It's cool. Don't feel bad about it. It's all in intent really.

Again, just friendly criticism.

Noone is perfect anyway.

I was part of the online SimRTK community as a kid (and of course, all the offshoots). But then life made it so I didn't have time for that anymore. I still keep in touch with a few people from there, but not a lot.

Yeah, I'd say I'm in a decent amount of smaller tight knit online communities.

For 'in person' communities I have friends I kept up with since grade school and see semi-regularly. As we all get into our mid 30's we see each other a couple times a year instead of every single week though.

Yeah, the FGC in Hawaii is pretty close. And within it I have an additionally close group of around 10 friends or so. The regular FGC group will play at a local college, and the tighter inner circle will also go to different peoples houses where we hang out and play board games in addition to fighting games.

The board games are pretty hilarious too. I dont know if anyone knows of a game called Kingdom Death, but its sort of like a Dark Souls version of DnD. And during one of the events, a Kingsman came to our village and demanded to execute the bravest character. My friend chose to challenge him instead of just sacrificing that one guy, and the Kingsman ended up just wiping all 5 people sent to challenge him, which fucked over the settlement lol. Also the Kingsman destroyed all the pottery in the village afterwards because hes apparently a petty asshole.

I belong to tit knight community

There is a rejection of things like deathcore and bands that have been falsely labeled as metal (nu-metal and a lot of the 00s -core bands) typically, but that isn't because its "popular" its because its bad ioo

Coincidentally the most popular Metal genres (Nu-Metal and Metalcore) are considered to be false Metal, im sure Hair Metal is in that group too. So yeah, I dont join any communities.

No. I'm about as socially inept as one can possibly be. No friends. Dob't hang out with family or coworkers. Can't date.

Outside of my toxic immediate family, there's basically no one in my life. I did end up with a few friends near the end of high school, but then once school ended they were gone.

I really feel like I'm living a hollow life. I wouldn't even say what I'm living is a "life" but even if it is, it's empty.

I don't have a place or belong anywhere. I'm not wanted or needed by anyone. I'm just a pathetic loser living a hollow life, seeing everyone else's lives and wishing I could be like them. I'm so sick of being this way, I hate it,vans hate myself for being this way.

I'm in the furry fandom. I really feel like I don't belong anymore. People don't really care about you unless you're a popular or prominent member. Especially if you have a brand name fursuit (that costs > $5K) or have a popular OC. People tend to get a free pass if they did shitty things or are a complete douchebag, but have a cute fursuit. You get crucified/canceled if you don't. If you try and communicate with popular people in the fandom, a lot will just ignore you. Unless you're a Patreon supporter or something. It's very elitist, although they claim it's not and very accepting. Also, if a friend decides to get a premium fursuit (and you don't have one), you can pretty much kiss that friendship goodbye. Many will just ditch you in favor of more popular people in the fandom when that fursuit gets you more followers and friends.

It's a very toxic community.

oh nevermind i guess im part of the dmc 3 fanclub community but i havent responded to anyone there in ages. reminded of this cuz someone responded to one of my youtube vids 2 weeks ago (which i read today) asking for help on switching from shotgun raves to e&i shot raves lol

Nope, mostly because I'm not very interested in being part of a tight knit community. I don't play online/multiplayer games, I've muted the work group chat so I don't have to see it, I have a bunch of friends that I try to see every couple months, but thankfully nothing more than that. My partner and pets fill my need for closeness, and my friends and coworkers fill my social needs.

I don't belong anywhere, offline or online.

It's very depressing, ):

Online maybe back in the days when I used to be bigly into vintage clothes and visited communities like the Fedora Lounge. There were a lot of older folks there, I'm talking about people in their 60+, with some younger guys like myself but it was a pretty close community.

Yup, online and offline.

Yes, offline only

do you feel like you belong to a group -> nyo

do you have a healthy social life -> nyes

I've never really felt part of any group, it's part of the human experience that just doesnt resonate with me for one reason or another

No. I don't need validation from people around me.