Board 8 > Orson Scott Card's version of Hamlet is...uh...[spoilers]

Topic List	Page List: 1
Haguile 09/09/11 4:05:00 PM #1:	http://www.raintaxi.com/online/2011summer/card.shtml http://io9.com/5838157/orson-scott-cards-hamlet-not-as-good-as-shakespeares-version And then there's the startling reveal at the end of the novella, in which we discover — spoiler alert — that Hamlet's father was gay, and that this made him a terrible king. And his ghost was actually a demonic liar that misled Hamlet as to his cause of death. Claudius didn't kill Hamlet's dad after all — instead, it was Horatio, who was taking revenge on Hamlet's dad for molesting him as a little boy. Hamlet's dad also molested Laertes, and Rosencrantz, and Guildenstern, and turned all four of them gay in the process. (Oh, and in the end, Hamlet goes to Hell for all the harm he's caused, where his gay dad will molest him for the rest of eternity.) Orton Scott Card has become of a cartoonish version of himself really. -- GREEN RANGER http://img18.imageshack.us/img18/4548/signaturedi.jpg <cite>Haguile posted [p:314430] in Orson Scot... [t:60276867]...</cite> <quote> http://www.raintaxi.com/online/2011summer/card.shtmlhttp://io9.com/5838157/orson-scott-cards-hamlet-not-as-good-as-shakespeares-versionAnd then there's the startling reveal at the end of the novella, in which we discover — spoiler alert — that Hamlet's father was gay, and that this made him a terrible king. And his ghost was actually a demonic liar that misled Hamlet as to his cause of death. Claudius didn't kill Hamlet's dad after all — instead, it was Horatio, who was taking revenge on Hamlet's dad for molesting him as a little boy. Hamlet's dad also molested Laertes, and Rosencrantz, and Guildenstern, and turned all four of them gay in the process. (Oh, and in the end, Hamlet goes to Hell for all the harm he's caused, where his gay dad will molest him for the rest of eternity.)Orton Scott Card has become of a cartoonish version of himself really. -- GREEN RANGERhttp://img18.imageshack.us/img18/4548/signaturedi.jpg </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Jeff Zero 09/09/11 4:05:00 PM #2:	I've actually never liked his work all that much. -- "Mr. Paris, I assume you've had a great deal of experience being rejected by women." ~SCP~ http://img.imgcake.com/Jeffzeropngus.png <cite>Jeff Zero posted [p:314431] in Orson Scot... [t:60276867]...</cite> <quote> I've actually never liked his work all that much. -- "Mr. Paris, I assume you've had a great deal of experience being rejected by women." ~SCP~http://img.imgcake.com/Jeffzeropngus.png </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Haguile 09/09/11 4:09:00 PM #3:	I only really liked Ender's Game but...man, this is ridiculous. I'd think the man who wrote Ender's Game would be more sane than this. -- GREEN RANGER http://img18.imageshack.us/img18/4548/signaturedi.jpg <cite>Haguile posted [p:314432] in Orson Scot... [t:60276867]...</cite> <quote> I only really liked Ender's Game but...man, this is ridiculous. I'd think the man who wrote Ender's Game would be more sane than this. -- GREEN RANGERhttp://img18.imageshack.us/img18/4548/signaturedi.jpg </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Ness26 09/09/11 4:10:00 PM #4:	Wooow. He's just spiraling worse and worse. -- No amount of planning will ever replace dumb luck. <cite>Ness26 posted [p:314433] in Orson Scot... [t:60276867]...</cite> <quote> Wooow.He's just spiraling worse and worse. -- No amount of planning will ever replace dumb luck. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
blindhobo13 09/09/11 4:10:00 PM #5:	From: Haguile \| #001 Hamlet's dad also molested Laertes, and Rosencrantz, and Guildenstern, and turned all four of them gay in the process. (Oh, and in the end, Hamlet goes to Hell for all the harm he's caused, where his gay dad will molest him for the rest of eternity.) XFD <cite>blindhobo13 posted [p:314434] in Orson Scot... [t:60276867]...</cite> <quote> From: Haguile \| #001Hamlet's dad also molested Laertes, and Rosencrantz, and Guildenstern, and turned all four of them gay in the process. (Oh, and in the end, Hamlet goes to Hell for all the harm he's caused, where his gay dad will molest him for the rest of eternity.)XFD </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Jeff Zero 09/09/11 4:11:00 PM #6:	He also called Serenity the best sci-fi movie of all time. Look, it's good. Firefly in general is good. But seriously? -- "Mr. Paris, I assume you've had a great deal of experience being rejected by women." ~SCP~ http://img.imgcake.com/Jeffzeropngus.png <cite>Jeff Zero posted [p:314435] in Orson Scot... [t:60276867]...</cite> <quote> He also called Serenity the best sci-fi movie of all time. Look, it's good. Firefly in general is good. But seriously? -- "Mr. Paris, I assume you've had a great deal of experience being rejected by women." ~SCP~http://img.imgcake.com/Jeffzeropngus.png </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Lord Bob Bree 09/09/11 4:12:00 PM #7:	There's no way this is serious, right? ...right? -- "1M GO1NG TO CUT YOUR THRO4T 4ND L1ST3N TO YOU BL33D WH1L3 1 SM3LL YOU D13 " Terezi Pyrope, Homestuck "I like goldfish." Godric <cite>Lord Bob Bree posted [p:314436] in Orson Scot... [t:60276867]...</cite> <quote> There's no way this is serious, right?...right? -- "1M GO1NG TO CUT YOUR THRO4T 4ND L1ST3N TO YOU BL33D WH1L3 1 SM3LL YOU D13 " Terezi Pyrope, Homestuck"I like goldfish." Godric </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Icehawk 09/09/11 4:13:00 PM #8:	Speaker for the Dead was always his best work imo, but this COULD surpass it! -- omg did u red text from last night dats so me LMAO : ) im not a slut i jus liek 2 haev fun LOL : ) <cite>Icehawk posted [p:314437] in Orson Scot... [t:60276867]...</cite> <quote> Speaker for the Dead was always his best work imo, but this COULD surpass it! -- omg did u red text from last night dats so me LMAO : )im not a slut i jus liek 2 haev fun LOL : ) </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Haguile 09/09/11 4:17:00 PM #9:	Here's the punch line: Old King Hamlet was an inadequate king because he was gay, an evil person because he was gay, and, ultimately, a demonic and ghostly father of lies who convinces young Hamlet to exact imaginary revenge on innocent people. The old king was actually murdered by Horatio, in revenge for molesting him as a young boy—along with Laertes, and Rosencrantz, and Guildenstern, thereby turning all of them gay. We learn that Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are now "as fusty and peculiar as an old married couple. I pity the woman who tries to wed her way into that house." Hamlet is damned for all the needless death he inflicts, and Dead Gay Dad will now do gay things to him for the rest of eternity: "Welcome to Hell, my beautiful son. At last we'll be together as I always longed for us to be." I can't stop laughing. -- GREEN RANGER http://img18.imageshack.us/img18/4548/signaturedi.jpg <cite>Haguile posted [p:314438] in Orson Scot... [t:60276867]...</cite> <quote> Here's the punch line: Old King Hamlet was an inadequate king because he was gay, an evil person because he was gay, and, ultimately, a demonic and ghostly father of lies who convinces young Hamlet to exact imaginary revenge on innocent people. The old king was actually murdered by Horatio, in revenge for molesting him as a young boy—along with Laertes, and Rosencrantz, and Guildenstern, thereby turning all of them gay. We learn that Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are now "as fusty and peculiar as an old married couple. I pity the woman who tries to wed her way into that house."Hamlet is damned for all the needless death he inflicts, and Dead Gay Dad will now do gay things to him for the rest of eternity: "Welcome to Hell, my beautiful son. At last we'll be together as I always longed for us to be."I can't stop laughing. -- GREEN RANGERhttp://img18.imageshack.us/img18/4548/signaturedi.jpg </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Shoenin_Kakashi 09/09/11 4:17:00 PM #10:	that Hamlet's father was gay, and that this made him a terrible king. And his ghost was actually a demonic liar that misled Hamlet as to his cause of death. Claudius didn't kill Hamlet's dad after all — instead, it was Horatio, who was taking revenge on Hamlet's dad for molesting him as a little boy. Hamlet's dad also molested Laertes, and Rosencrantz, and Guildenstern, and turned all four of them gay in the process. -- Nice catch BlAcK TuRtLe. But too bad your ass got SAAAAAAAAAAACKED.tackles <cite>Shoenin_Kakashi posted [p:314439] in Orson Scot... [t:60276867]...</cite> <quote> that Hamlet's father was gay, and that this made him a terrible king. And his ghost was actually a demonic liar that misled Hamlet as to his cause of death. Claudius didn't kill Hamlet's dad after all — instead, it was Horatio, who was taking revenge on Hamlet's dad for molesting him as a little boy. Hamlet's dad also molested Laertes, and Rosencrantz, and Guildenstern, and turned all four of them gay in the process. -- Nice catch BlAcK TuRtLe.But too bad your ass got SAAAAAAAAAAACKED.tackles </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
the icon ownz all 09/09/11 4:25:00 PM #11:	From: Jeff Zero \| #006 He also called Serenity the best sci-fi movie of all time. Look, it's good. Firefly in general is good. But seriously? Orson Scott Card is homophobic and slightly racist. I don't think his opinion on the quality of Serenity is that crazy in comparison. -- ICON: FUN FUN FUN FUN <cite>the icon ownz all posted [p:314440] in Orson Scot... [t:60276867]...</cite> <quote> From: Jeff Zero \| #006He also called Serenity the best sci-fi movie of all time. Look, it's good. Firefly in general is good. But seriously?Orson Scott Card is homophobic and slightly racist. I don't think his opinion on the quality of Serenity is that crazy in comparison. -- ICON:FUN FUN FUN FUN </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Jeff Zero 09/09/11 4:27:00 PM #12:	Well I could have just pulled the obvious cards outta the deck. More fun to point out the weirdest! -- "Mr. Paris, I assume you've had a great deal of experience being rejected by women." ~SCP~ http://img.imgcake.com/Jeffzeropngus.png <cite>Jeff Zero posted [p:314441] in Orson Scot... [t:60276867]...</cite> <quote> Well I could have just pulled the obvious cards outta the deck. More fun to point out the weirdest! -- "Mr. Paris, I assume you've had a great deal of experience being rejected by women." ~SCP~http://img.imgcake.com/Jeffzeropngus.png </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
SubDeity 09/09/11 4:30:00 PM #13:	So does the novella actually say that Claudius was bad because he was gay or is that just extrapolated from the fact that he molested people? For that matter, has anybody actually read this? -- SubDeity wants to vote for Calvin Coolidge. [Evil Republican] Play Der Langrisser. <cite>SubDeity posted [p:314442] in Orson Scot... [t:60276867]...</cite> <quote> So does the novella actually say that Claudius was bad because he was gay or is that just extrapolated from the fact that he molested people? For that matter, has anybody actually read this? -- SubDeity wants to vote for Calvin Coolidge. [Evil Republican]Play Der Langrisser. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
blindhobo13 09/09/11 4:35:00 PM #14:	From: SubDeity \| #013 So does the novella actually say that Claudius was bad because he was gay or is that just extrapolated from the fact that he molested people? For that matter, has anybody actually read this? I certainly want to now! <cite>blindhobo13 posted [p:314443] in Orson Scot... [t:60276867]...</cite> <quote> From: SubDeity \| #013So does the novella actually say that Claudius was bad because he was gay or is that just extrapolated from the fact that he molested people? For that matter, has anybody actually read this?I certainly want to now! </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Panthera 09/09/11 4:36:00 PM #15:	Wait, so Hamelt's father is like the worst guy in the world ever in this version, but for his crime of molesting and manipulating everyone he gets rewarded with an afterlife of getting to rape people some more, while Hamlet himself gets punished for being not nearly as big a dick by having to be the victim of it? -- We clasped our hands, our hands in praise of a conquerors right to tyranny <cite>Panthera posted [p:314444] in Orson Scot... [t:60276867]...</cite> <quote> Wait, so Hamelt's father is like the worst guy in the world ever in this version, but for his crime of molesting and manipulating everyone he gets rewarded with an afterlife of getting to rape people some more, while Hamlet himself gets punished for being not nearly as big a dick by having to be the victim of it? -- We clasped our hands, our hands in praise of a conquerors right to tyranny </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Viktor Vaughn 09/09/11 4:42:00 PM #16:	i love my dead gay son -- bad advice http://img.imgcake.com/viktorpnges.png <cite>Viktor Vaughn posted [p:314445] in Orson Scot... [t:60276867]...</cite> <quote> i love my dead gay son -- bad advicehttp://img.imgcake.com/viktorpnges.png </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
dowolf 09/09/11 4:42:00 PM #17:	The really weird thing is, you look at Card's older works, and it's almost impossible to imagine him as a bigoted homophobe. And yet here we are. -- Oh, a big machine with flashy lights. A big machine like that has me written all over it. Well, okay, it doesn't. But give me time... and a crayon --11th Doctor <cite>dowolf posted [p:314446] in Orson Scot... [t:60276867]...</cite> <quote> The really weird thing is, you look at Card's older works, and it's almost impossible to imagine him as a bigoted homophobe.And yet here we are. -- Oh, a big machine with flashy lights. A big machine like that has me written all over it. Well, okay, it doesn't. But give me time... and a crayon --11th Doctor </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Viktor Vaughn 09/09/11 4:42:00 PM #18:	a lot -- bad advice http://img.imgcake.com/viktorpnges.png <cite>Viktor Vaughn posted [p:314447] in Orson Scot... [t:60276867]...</cite> <quote> a lot -- bad advicehttp://img.imgcake.com/viktorpnges.png </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
WazzupGenius00 09/09/11 4:43:00 PM #19:	From: Panthera \| #015 Wait, so Hamelt's father is like the worst guy in the world ever in this version, but for his crime of molesting and manipulating everyone he gets rewarded with an afterlife of getting to rape people some more, while Hamlet himself gets punished for being not nearly as big a dick by having to be the victim of it? maybe it's like each person gets their own personalized hell, and so that's what Hamlet's is so it's technically not actually his father doing it and he has his own separate hell -- A hare like me couldn't catch up to Black Turtle. <cite>WazzupGenius00 posted [p:314448] in Orson Scot... [t:60276867]...</cite> <quote> From: Panthera \| #015Wait, so Hamelt's father is like the worst guy in the world ever in this version, but for his crime of molesting and manipulating everyone he gets rewarded with an afterlife of getting to rape people some more, while Hamlet himself gets punished for being not nearly as big a dick by having to be the victim of it?maybe it's like each person gets their own personalized hell, and so that's what Hamlet's is so it's technically not actually his father doing it and he has his own separate hell -- A hare like me couldn't catch up to Black Turtle. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
HanOfTheNekos 09/09/11 4:47:00 PM #20:	I used to really like OSC. :\ -- Don't worry, Bill Murray! Its things like this that make you wonder why the company that makes M&Ms don't make butter <cite>HanOfTheNekos posted [p:314449] in Orson Scot... [t:60276867]...</cite> <quote> I used to really like OSC.:\ -- Don't worry, Bill Murray!Its things like this that make you wonder why the company that makes M&Ms don't make butter </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Panthera 09/09/11 4:51:00 PM #21:	From: WazzupGenius00 \| #019 maybe it's like each person gets their own personalized hell, and so that's what Hamlet's is so it's technically not actually his father doing it and he has his own separate hell Man I'd hate to live in a world where the appropriate punishment for not realizing you're related to a rapist is an eternity of rape. -- We clasped our hands, our hands in praise of a conquerors right to tyranny <cite>Panthera posted [p:314450] in Orson Scot... [t:60276867]...</cite> <quote> From: WazzupGenius00 \| #019maybe it's like each person gets their own personalized hell, and so that's what Hamlet's is so it's technically not actually his father doing it and he has his own separate hellMan I'd hate to live in a world where the appropriate punishment for not realizing you're related to a rapist is an eternity of rape. -- We clasped our hands, our hands in praise of a conquerors right to tyranny </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
metroid13 09/09/11 5:12:00 PM #22:	He thinks the United States should revolt against the government if same-sex marriage is legalized, so yeah. -- http://img228.imageshack.us/img228/7267/chillsloth.gif It's hard work living as a sloth, but he finds time to relax. <cite>metroid13 posted [p:314451] in Orson Scot... [t:60276867]...</cite> <quote> He thinks the United States should revolt against the government if same-sex marriage is legalized, so yeah. -- http://img228.imageshack.us/img228/7267/chillsloth.gifIt's hard work living as a sloth, but he finds time to relax. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Haguile 09/09/11 5:24:00 PM #23:	I'm gonna buy this because of how hilarious it sounds. http://www.amazon.com/Hamlets-Father-Orson-Scott-Card/dp/159606269X ...24 dollars? Really? Okay this isn't worth it. -- GREEN RANGER http://img18.imageshack.us/img18/4548/signaturedi.jpg <cite>Haguile posted [p:314452] in Orson Scot... [t:60276867]...</cite> <quote> I'm gonna buy this because of how hilarious it sounds.http://www.amazon.com/Hamlets-Father-Orson-Scott-Card/dp/159606269X...24 dollars? Really? Okay this isn't worth it. -- GREEN RANGERhttp://img18.imageshack.us/img18/4548/signaturedi.jpg </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
SovietOmega 09/09/11 5:32:00 PM #24:	I liked some of Orson's older works. But this? If only it were satire... -- There is no shame in not knowing; the shame lies in not finding out <cite>SovietOmega posted [p:314453] in Orson Scot... [t:60276867]...</cite> <quote> I liked some of Orson's older works. But this? If only it were satire... -- There is no shame in not knowing; the shame lies in not finding out </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
LeonhartFour 09/09/11 5:33:00 PM #25:	Somebody ought to at least inform SmartMuffin or SephG about this. -- "Stay with me until the end. Please." "Not until the end. Always." <cite>LeonhartFour posted [p:314454] in Orson Scot... [t:60276867]...</cite> <quote> Somebody ought to at least inform SmartMuffin or SephG about this. -- "Stay with me until the end. Please.""Not until the end. Always." </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
leo3leo 09/09/11 8:02:00 PM #26:	http://www.hatrack.com/osc_responds_halmets_father.html <cite>leo3leo posted [p:314455] in Orson Scot... [t:60276867]...</cite> <quote> http://www.hatrack.com/osc_responds_halmets_father.html </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
KimPilgrim 09/09/11 8:12:00 PM #27:	So is this the reason everyone says he's a homophobe or...oh it's a new book... -- ~LtM http://img.imgcake.com/AYhRdKCMAAjGS3jpggy.jpg <cite>KimPilgrim posted [p:314456] in Orson Scot... [t:60276867]...</cite> <quote> So is this the reason everyone says he's a homophobe or...oh it's a new book... -- ~LtMhttp://img.imgcake.com/AYhRdKCMAAjGS3jpggy.jpg </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
dowolf 09/09/11 10:20:00 PM #28:	"people accuse me of being a homophobe whelp let's not do anything to prove them wrong." Great plan there. Tell me how it works out for you. -- Oh, a big machine with flashy lights. A big machine like that has me written all over it. Well, okay, it doesn't. But give me time... and a crayon --11th Doctor <cite>dowolf posted [p:314457] in Orson Scot... [t:60276867]...</cite> <quote> "people accuse me of being a homophobe whelp let's not do anything to prove them wrong."Great plan there. Tell me how it works out for you. -- Oh, a big machine with flashy lights. A big machine like that has me written all over it. Well, okay, it doesn't. But give me time... and a crayon --11th Doctor </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
paperwarior 09/09/11 10:28:00 PM #29:	I always liked the theory of King Hamlet intending everything that happens out of spite, but this is... well, nuts. -- "God Hand is the ultimate expression of the joy of humanity, specifically the punching part of the joy of humanity."-Shigeru Miyamoto <cite>paperwarior posted [p:314458] in Orson Scot... [t:60276867]...</cite> <quote> I always liked the theory of King Hamlet intending everything that happens out of spite, but this is... well, nuts. -- "God Hand is the ultimate expression of the joy of humanity, specifically the punching part of the joy of humanity."-Shigeru Miyamoto </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
GaryOak151 09/09/11 10:52:00 PM #30:	man.. and to think OSC used to be one of my favorite authors -- Warning_Crazy i am not black turtle as i did not win the guru <cite>GaryOak151 posted [p:314459] in Orson Scot... [t:60276867]...</cite> <quote> man.. and to think OSC used to be one of my favorite authors -- Warning_Crazyi am not black turtle as i did not win the guru </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Haguile 09/10/11 8:32:00 AM #31:	From: leo3leo \| Posted: 9/9/2011 11:02:56 PM \| #026 http://www.hatrack.com/osc_responds_halmets_father.html Yyyyyeah not buying OSC. -- GREEN RANGER http://img18.imageshack.us/img18/4548/signaturedi.jpg <cite>Haguile posted [p:314460] in Orson Scot... [t:60276867]...</cite> <quote> From: leo3leo \| Posted: 9/9/2011 11:02:56 PM \| #026http://www.hatrack.com/osc_responds_halmets_father.htmlYyyyyeah not buying OSC. -- GREEN RANGERhttp://img18.imageshack.us/img18/4548/signaturedi.jpg </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Topic List	Page List: 1

Board 8 > Orson Scott Card's version of Hamlet is...uh...[spoilers] (+) Yeah! (+)

Board 8 > Orson Scott Card's version of Hamlet is...uh...[spoilers]