This'll be two concurrent lists, one of the 10 best songs of the year and one of the 10 worst.
So, 2011 was an unusual year for me musically. Near the end of 2010 I was in the car with a friend who had the radio on, and I inquired what song was on as I rather liked it. I then found it was Love The Way You Lie by Eminem and Rihanna, and it had been number one for like a month. Oops <_<.
As a result of that, my New Year's Resolution for last year was to make an effort to actually keep up with pop music rather than sniffily dismissing it off-hand like I always had done before. I discovered there was a lot to actually like (and a fair amount that I was right to dismiss). With that in mind, I thought I'd commemorate the year and make a list of my favourite, and least-favourite, songs.
I'm trying to be prejudice-free here, but there are some traits I hate in songs, and some I love. Will explain them more in detail when they come up, but basically expect a varied mix here. Well, as varied as the pop charts actually allow, anyway. Pop, dance, R&B, all that fun stuff. And I have no shame.
Oh, and my criteria for a song qualifying for this list (beside obviously being bad/good enough) is simple - it has to have appeared in the UK top 10 at some point throughout 2011. If it did, it's fair game.
So let's begin!
-- James - Board 8's Resident Warm And Safe, Slipper-Wearing User & The Cream of Porcupine Tree Fanboyism
Whole bunch of overplayed songs There were a few of the bigger songs in the year that I really liked at first, and still do like, but lost ground because they were played so goddamn much. Thinking Grenade, ET and Edge of Glory in particular, although there were others.
Bounce - Calvin Harris ft. Kelis
Consider this one my number 11. Calvin Harris being awesome, basically.
Worst Honourable Mentions Run The World - Beyonce
This would be number one on the bad list if it hadn't peaked outside the top 10 in the UK. Thank you Brits! Seriously though, a song so terrible I can only assume that it was on purpose. Like, they knew it'd be a controversial subject matter so they just decided to make the song as abrasive as possible, like they were trying to ruffle some feathers musically as well as lyrically. I don't care about the sexist lyrics (Beyonce's done that before and since), but musically this is absolute tripe.
Fight For You - Jason Derulo
Again, outside the top ten. But I hate samples that add nothing to the song. In this case it's not true - the sample is the song. It's Jason Derulo covering Africa by Toto, which would be bad enough except he has the cheek to try to pass it off as an original work.
-- James - Board 8's Resident Warm And Safe, Slipper-Wearing User & The Cream of Porcupine Tree Fanboyism
Sorry Cokes, neither of them reached the UK top ten at any point in the year!
BEST: 10) Earthquake - Labrinth ft. Tinie Tempah
This song may well belong higher up the list, but it came out near the end of the year and I'm being cautious in case it hasn't gotten old for me yet. Basically, the song makes a great case for actually creating an Earthquake. The lyrics, the clunking percussion, everything just works perfectly for creating a real, uh, heavy feel to the song. This is exactly the kind of music I suck at talking about <_<. Future write-ups will be better! But yeah, just listen to it, you'll either agree or you won't.
WORST: 10) Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls
I'm fed up of this song. This has been in the top 200 in the UK for over 200 weeks. It was recorded in 1997, released in 1998. It reached its highest ever UK chart position this year, peaking at number 3. How is this still charting? Who wants a copy of Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls and does not yet own a copy of Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls? I swear everyone in the world must own a copy of the song by now except me. And I really don't get why. Is it bad. I'll admit it isn't. But it is impossibly mediocre. It does nothing new. It's just a song about love, played out on guitars, with a vaguely climactic build. And yes I know I'm being facetious since you can describe a lot of great songs like that too, but my point is this is entirely unoriginal; in fact it's almost a celebration of unoriginality. Why is it popular? Answers on a postcard please.
-- James - Board 8's Resident Warm And Safe, Slipper-Wearing User & The Cream of Porcupine Tree Fanboyism
The wider I make it, the harder it is to choose and the less I'm likely to have to say. I wanted to use the top 100 songs for the year (which could allow for a few more songs that didn't crack the top ten persisted outside it), but I can't seem to find a list for the UK larger than 20 songs, which would make a top 10 best/worst kinda trivial.
There are some songs fairly radically different to the norm on the lists (at least I'd say so), but they mostly appear near the top (or bottom) of the lists since I tended to particularly like/dislike those different traits.
BEST: 9) Party Rock Anthem - LMFAO
Sorry. I can't help it. I got taken in by the shufflin'. I don't know about the US (guessing something similar) but in the UK this was THE song of the year. It was completely inescapable, particularly over the summer. This was helped massively by the video of course, but don't underestimate the actual song. It has some absolutely woeful decisions in it (basically all the lyrics from start to finish, particularly the "putyourhandsupputyourhandsupputyourhandsupputyourhandsup" segment), but god-damn the beat is infectious (see video for proof). Everything LMFAO had done before and everything they've done since proves this was an absolute fluke, and this song was overplayed to hell and back by the end of the year, but it doesn't change how good this song is. Incredibly flawed, but incredibly enjoyable.
WORST: 9) Where Them Girls At - David Guetta ft. Flo Rida and Nicki Minaj
I'm not a fan of David Guetta. The guy has created practically the same beat every song he's made for a long time now, and yet they're all inexplicably popular. This was his biggest hit in the UK for the year, which is convenient because it was also the worst. Flo Rida is his usual self over the song, which is to say he's practically unnoticeable, for better or worse. Nicki Minaj annoys me. She has some good lines, but she seems to find a new way to make her voice annoying in every song she's in. Here it's the "day day daydaydayday"s doing it.
Incidentally, not strictly relevant but does anyone else hate the video for this song? The puppet women are ****ing creepy, and not in a good way (and even if it was a good way, that's not exactly what you look for in dance videos). Between that and Levels by Avicii (not on either list), dance videos really did have a thing this year for making people dance against their will and making them look like they were suffering.
-- James - Board 8's Resident Warm And Safe, Slipper-Wearing User & The Cream of Porcupine Tree Fanboyism
Mer_Mer_Yes_Mer posted... From: Eeeevil Overlord | #006 It reached its highest ever UK chart position this year, peaking at number 3. what
Yeah, that was my reaction! It was covered on the X Factor (forget if you have that in the US, basically American Idol) and that made everyone go and buy it yet again. But that still doesn't explain it getting that high, or how it was already in the top 200 beforehand.
-- James - Board 8's Resident Warm And Safe, Slipper-Wearing User & The Cream of Porcupine Tree Fanboyism
Party Rockers is the best and Run the World is the worst? Is this some kind of British thing were those word meanings are flip-flopped? (Or I guess you would say lorried)
From: MonkClive0 | #011 Party Rockers is the best and Run the World is the worst? Is this some kind of British thing were those word meanings are flip-flopped? (Or I guess you would say lorried)
but he also has the goo goo dolls as the worst, which is accurate
BEST: 8) Dedication To My Ex - Lloyd ft. Andre 3000
Clean version of the video, shockingly. And I'm actually talking about that version too, the song's perfectly good without all the references to some lady's cat! The uncensored version practically makes me wet myself just for the sheer audacity of it, but yeah, censored version is the one I actually prefer.
My only familiarity with Lloyd before this was from Bedrock, which was in my opinion a terrible song for many reasons. This was a very pleasant surprise. One of the things I discovered this year is that I'm an absolute sucker for pop/r&b songs with brass (or synth in the style of brass) in them. Just songs that do something different for a change! This song has an awesome old-school feel to it, helped by the simple drums, and it really puts the focus on Lloyd's voice which keeps just the right side of the whininess divide in this song. And of course Andre 3000 knocks his verse out of the park. All in all, very fun song, could've gone higher but for the 'Earthquake' rule.
WORST: 8) Yeah 3x - Chris Brown
No, no, no. I'm one of those people who hates Chris Brown and everything he stands for. This was not his worst song of the year, but it was the worst to be a top 10 hit in the UK, so it's what makes my list. The main crimes of this particular song are stealing (it steals pretty blatantly from I Gotta Feeling and I'm Not Alone, the latter being an incredibly blatant steal of the hook) and of lyrics that accomplish nothing. What's that, you like to party, everyone should say yeah and put their hands in the air? What an incredible, original message! This is one of the most banal songs of the year, recorded by someone who has no right to be near the charts unless he creates something genuinely brilliant. Almost everything above this in the worst list is at least bad in a unique way, but this is just unoriginal in content and style, and written by someone who has no right to a career. Go away 3x.
-- James - Board 8's Resident Warm And Safe, Slipper-Wearing User & The Cream of Porcupine Tree Fanboyism
That's it for tonight, but there'll be more tomorrow (and Mer, I already said Edge Of Glory was an honourable mention, but there's a strong chance that one of the other songs will feature!).
-- James - Board 8's Resident Warm And Safe, Slipper-Wearing User & The Cream of Porcupine Tree Fanboyism
I'm on board with this list so far, except for the fact that I'll never say that Iris is a bad song. I know Party Rock Anthem isn't good, but I still love the hell out of the video.
I'd like to think it's my concerted aim to have alienated everyone in some way or another by the end of the list! Maybe this'll help...
BEST: 7) Price Tag - Jessie J ft. B.o.B.
Jessie J's been a new figure this year, and largely she's been a mixed bag for me. Do It Like A Dude annoyed me; Who's Laughing Now I liked but hated myself for liking it; Nobody's Perfect wasn't bad but featured a bit too much wailing. I don't care about Who You Are. But Price Tag was awesome, cheesy or not. So refreshing to hear a song that's presenting a positive feeling without just being about clubbing. I don't even know why I like this song so much. It's incredibly rudimentary, to the extent where it sounds like it belong in an Axis Of Awesome Medley. Jessie J frequently comes across as an idiot. The video is...weird. But it's just harmless fun, and honestly I feel that way about more than one song on the list.
WORST: 7) Judas - Lady Gaga
Oh good God what a trainwreck. It's so, so obvious that she wanted to make Bad Romance again, and she just fails miserably. Everything about Bad Romance fitted perfectly with everything else in Bad Romance - it's possibly the perfect pop song as far as I can tell. Here, everything just feels so disjointed. The verse-chorus-verse transition is frankly AWFUL. The "Jesus is my virtue" bridge feels like it's from another song. And lyrically this is banal. Bad Romance may have had repetition in its lyrics, but it never went to this level:
Oh, oh oh ohhhhh I'm in love with Juduh-as, Juduh-uh-as Oh, oh oh ohhhhh I'm in love with Juduh-as, Juduh-uh-as Judas, Juda-ah-ah, Judas, Juda-ah-ah, Judas, Juda-ah-ah, Judas, Gaga.
Seriously, what the hell. Let down of the year for me. Yet she somehow follows it with Edge Of Glory, one of my favourite Gaga songs. I don't understand.
-- James - Board 8's Resident Warm And Safe, Slipper-Wearing User & The Cream of Porcupine Tree Fanboyism
--
(\__/) Meet Ziggy,the Evil Bunny who wants to take over the world and eat the flesh of the weak. (='.'=] Put Ziggy in your sig to support his cause.
BEST: 6) Beautiful People - Chris Brown ft. Benny Benassi
Okay, so he created something genuinely brilliant. Once. The lucky ****. Won't lie, might've been higher if not for who it is. And the video. Although the video wouldn't annoy me so much if not for who it is. Whatever, don't really want to praise Chris Brown, he doesn't deserve it.
WORST: 6) The Time - Black Eyed Peas
Predominantly a 2010 song this one I know, but it was a prominent chart figure throughout January in the UK and into February, so it counts. The fact that it went away so quickly into the year is partly why it's only 6 on the list and not lower still. A common misconception I hear from people who like this song is that it's hated on because of the unnecessary Time Of My Life section. That might be true to an extent, but it's not just that they used it (and I really don't know why they did), it's also that it transitions SO badly from chorus to verse and back. I don't like the "Dirty Bit" sections, and I don't like the "Time" sections, but what really grates whenever I have to hear this song is how badly they mesh. At least with, for instance, Boom Boom Pow, the Peas had the decency to transition well from one part of a song to the next part of a song. Here it's a mess, and it only gets worse the longer the song goes on. Lyrically they're probably below average here, which is really, really saying something. The beat can't save them because we're taken out of it frequently so they can sing an 80s song for no reason. Terrible, terrible song. And it's STILL not the worst song they've ever done! Thank **** they're on hiatus, may they stay that way until I stop paying attention to pop music again.
-- James - Board 8's Resident Warm And Safe, Slipper-Wearing User & The Cream of Porcupine Tree Fanboyism
BEST: 5) Heart Skips A Beat - Olly Murs ft. Rizzle Kicks
I'm not guilty as such about any song on this list, but if I was...well it would've been Party Rock Anthem. Or Price Tag. Or Beautiful People, for a different reason. But yeah, this too. It's an unashamedly cheesy upbeat pop song about a goofball who can't control himself around a woman. I don't know, maybe it speaks to me or something <_<. Only thing stopping this going higher (other than there being only so much cheese I can take) is the Rizzle Kicks verse - I normally like the duo, but it meshes really badly with the song here, both lyrically and musically. But then maybe it was needed to break up the cheese and go for a different kind, I don't know.
WORST: 5) Bass Down Low - Dev ft. The Cataracts
Only video of the song is the explicit one, so check that out instead if swear words don't offend you.
Oh good God this song is terrible. This would be a surefire contender for number 1 if it wasn't for two things - firstly, it wasn't THAT big of a hit (it peaked at number 10 for one week only), and secondly because it's honestly so, SO bad that I actually like it in spite of myself. I can't help but laugh at how incompetent it is.
First time I heard this song it reminded me of Like A G6, and then I found that Dev is the woman singing in that song, and the Cataracts produced it. Go figure. The problems with this song are numerous - the monotonous, repetitive lyrics, what I can best describe as a squeaking rubber duck being the hook, the fact that Dev refers to having sex with her as getting "your mitts in my oven" and "a lick of this loving", the incredibly unenthusiastic "yeah" noises, the fact that they reference Boom Boom Pow for no discernible reason (except perhaps to alert people that better alternatives to the song exist), etc. But really, this is immaterial. All you need to know is this: - The song opens with Dev saying "I like my beats fast and my bass down low", and goes on to repeat the latter about a bajillion times; - The song has a slow, plodding beat; - The song doesn't have low bass. As far as I can tell, Dev would rather have been in a song like this:
When the person singing the song hates it, that says it all.
-- James - Board 8's Resident Warm And Safe, Slipper-Wearing User & The Cream of Porcupine Tree Fanboyism
BEST: 4) We Found Love - Rihanna ft. Calvin Harris
This song has been a pretty major hit, both in the UK and the US, and like it or not it's easy to see why. Even on his stuff I hate, Calvin Harris knows how to create an awesome dance beat, and judging by the success of some his contemporaries you only need to half-ass a dance beat to have a hit song. But this goes way beyond just the awesome dance beat. This is, as far as I'm concerned, a wonderfully crafted dark mood piece. For me it captures the same energy as something like Just Dance, that feeling of absolute desperation. However, We Found Love manages to simultaneously be both more intimate and more wide-reaching than Just Dance. At the risk of sounding like a colossal tool, listening to the song is almost like a journey through the song. Video suits it perfectly too.
WORST: 4) Last Friday Night - Katy Perry
Full video is incredibly stupid, so I linked a lyrics video instead.
I cannot stand Katy Perry. She's the quintessential stupid bint of music. She can't sing, she can't dance, she looks like she'd give you an STD if she licked your arm... WHY IS SHE POPULAR??
Personally, I've liked exactly 2 Katy Perry songs (Hot & Cold and ET) and tolerated one more (Firework). Of those the only one I really like is ET, and that's because it makes a conscious decision not to do the usual Katy Perry thing. As far as I'm concerned, the song does a great job presenting her as a kind of... contemptible slut. The stuttering vocals, the thudding percussion, the grungey guitar in the chorus, it's all just singing from the same hymnbook and works perfectly. It's just filthy. Whereas with this one (and other past Katy Perry songs), it's like the song isn't in on it. It's presenting her in some idealised way when she's still just singing about she got a hangover and can't remember if she made out with a guy or got punched. This is, like, a song for teenage girls - ones that want to go out partying but aren't old enough yet, and still think "tee hee hangovers are cool" when what they are, literally and metaphorically, is a pain in the head. It doesn't help that musically this is incredibly basic, too - it's basically a lite version of Blur's Coffee and TV. And I do not like Blur's Coffee and TV. I suppose objectively this song isn't terrible, but it just pisses me off every time I hear it, and if it were up to me I'd never have to hear it again.
Oh, and also, just how old is the narrator of this meant to be? She has a car and a boss (and a propensity for sex) but she's still like totally bummed if pictures end up online and she goes skinny dipping like a teenager? Meh, whatever, the song commits worse crimes.
-- James - Board 8's Resident Warm And Safe, Slipper-Wearing User & The Cream of Porcupine Tree Fanboyism
Oh, and also, just how old is the narrator of this meant to be? She has a car and a boss (and a propensity for sex) but she's still like totally bummed if pictures end up online and she goes skinny dipping like a teenager? Meh, whatever, the song commits worse crimes.
this is probably so the song appeals to teens, but nobody can be like "stop making songs about teens screwing and drinking" because she can claim it is about an older person. or maybe that is attempting to rationalize something that is just really dumb and not well thought out.
--
I'm "kind of a big deal". http://img.imgcake.com/cyclo/Cyclopngegpngre.png
The only good thing that came out of We Found Love was the legions of girls who don't actually pay attention to the songs they like relating it to their current relationships.
Reversing your fours would have sat better with me, and I don't even like Last Friday Night.
-- I like how each new topic you make reveals such varied facets of your idiocy. - foolmo [NO BARKLEY NO PEACE]
"And you're right about the BEP having even worse songs than The Time. A follow-up single ) is a serious candidate."
I actually really like Don't Stop The Party, might've had a shout at least an honourable mention if it had actually made the top 10 here <_<. Terrible lyrically (will.i.am's terrible verse is made to look good by the other one not only rhyming partying with partying, but the second part of the rhyme being "at the party partying"), but then it's the BEP, so what do you expect? It's got a good beat, and Fergie actually bothered to sing as well as she actually can for once.
Anyway yeah, got distracted yesterday, should hopefully be able to finish this off tonight.
-- James - Board 8's Resident Warm And Safe, Slipper-Wearing User & The Cream of Porcupine Tree Fanboyism
BEST: 3) You Need Me I Don't Need You - Ed Sheeran
I linked the official video, but if you like the song I strongly recommend searching for the SBTV acoustic version, where he recreates the entire song live by himself using loop pedals. Awesome stuff.
Basically, imagine a teenage Brit acoustic guitar singer-songwriter guy performing a self-aggrandising rap. Wait, come back! Ed Sheeran was new on the scene this year in the UK, basically appearing out of nowhere with his song The A-Team, which I never really liked. It came across as very mature but at the same time a bit too bland, and a bit too boring, and I didn't get the popularity. This was his follow-up song, and I absolutely got it. Ostensibly a song about how he ditched his old manager in order to become the star he wanted to, the song takes on a whole new feel the further it gets. It's almost like a mission statement at times ("I came fast with the way I act, right / I can't last, if I'm smoking on a crack pipe / And I won't be a product of my genre / My mind will always be stronger than my songs are"), but generally it's a little ginger kid being awesome. Musically the entire song has a tremendous energy to it, helped by the constantly changing staccato beat. Video rocks too in my opinion, which is basically the song being signed.
Also, any song with the line "they say I'm up and coming like I'm ****ing in an elevator" is basically untouchably awesome.
WORST: 3) Don't Wanna Go Home - Jason Derulo
As I said before during the honourable mentions, I can't stand stupid samples in songs. Here, Derulo manages to sample two different songs that were never meant to be meshed together, in the form of Show Me Love and the freakin' Banana Song. Seriously, what the hell does he think he's doing? But see, it's clever, the original says "daylight come and me want go home" (in that classy way people got away with in the 50s), whereas Derulo's version says "daylight comes and we DON'T wanna go home"! Except it's not remotely clever, it's completely failing to understand the point of the song. The original was about tired workers wanting to go home and stop doing backbreaking labour; Derulo's is about how he likes the club. (Side note: nice to see a club song go where other club songs don't dare go and actually talk about the club itself for a change!)
Aside from being insulting to the original song, insulting to Show Me Love to presume that just sampling a former number one isn't enough to make a strong song so we need to sample a 50s classic too, and insulting to the listener for presuming noone will care, it's also just downright pathetic. Everyone enjoys a night out, but unless my nights out just suck, there's a definite point when you want to go home, and it's usually about 4am. But Derulo's escapism is so necessary that even by the time the sun rises he's still desperately hitting the club?? Where exactly is he clubbing, one of the poles? Shouldn't you be at work in a couple of hours? Or at least tending to the girl from Whatcha Say. This song is rage-inducing, Derulo comes across as a pathetic idiot, and it manages to **** over two great songs at once. Impressive.
-- James - Board 8's Resident Warm And Safe, Slipper-Wearing User & The Cream of Porcupine Tree Fanboyism
I've never heard that Jason Derulo song, but the obsession with clubs is one of my problems with contemporary top 40 music. Do we really need 3 billion songs with "partying in da club" as the subject?
I've gained a pretty decent tolerance for bad music lately, but even this song was so bad that it made me change my station every time it came on. This and that "5 O Clock in the Morning" song were among the 2 worst songs I heard last year.
Official video is only the first two-thirds of the song, for some reason.
It was really pleasing to see this song do well over the summer. I guess I should be thanking the recession or something. This song has a perfect desperate feel to it, where you really do feel like the guy is singing for the money. I also really appreciate the blues-y-ness of the whole thing. The piano fits perfectly as does the brass when it comes, everything just feeling so understated and... well, solemn, I guess. Really though, it's Blacc's singing that carries the song, and the feeling of general trouble the guy's in. I want to buy it so he can get some more mone-
"Who can help me take away my sorrow? Maybe it's inside the bottle"
Oh. Mr Blacc, I'm disappointed in you sir.
WORST: 2) Swagger Jagger - Cher Lloyd
Okay, not being funny but what the hell is this? Who is this Chipmunk/Lady Sovereign wannabe? Why did she debut at Number One in the UK?
Oh, she used to be on the X-Factor. Right. But yeah, this song sucks pretty much every way possible. The verses go out of their way to be as irritating and as obnoxious as possible - seriously, who thought it was a good idea to end every line high-pitched like that? - the choruses are dull, bland and sound like they're channelling Away In A Manger, which given this song was released in the summer is just plain bizarre, and the transition from verse-chorus-verse is awkward and jarring. Plus near the end it starts trying to turn itself into a club/dance hit, even though the first two-thirds of the song do NOT work in a club. So musically it's terrible in just about every way, and that's not even getting into the lyrics.
Seriously, pop stars NEED to stop addressing 'haters' on their DEBUT hit. Cher Lloyd has done something astonishing, which is to manage to look childish and stupid next to Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair". This is basically a self-fulfilling prophecy. Check that link I posted, the like/dislike ratio - noone cared about Cher Lloyd before this song, and it immediately made her hated to an almost astonishing degree. This song reached number one because in the UK there's a sizeable portion of teenage girls who will buy EVERY song an X Factor performer puts out, but thankfully the rest of the public didn't join and this fell away sharpish. Her next single was a good step too, both in that it was far less obnoxious and in that Mike Posner guested on it so Cher Lloyd was only the second most irritating person on the track. I hope that's it, but I fear the worst.
-- James - Board 8's Resident Warm And Safe, Slipper-Wearing User & The Cream of Porcupine Tree Fanboyism