Board 8 > XIII's 2nd Board 8 Battle [The Final Chapter] [T2] [This is seriously the end]

(+) Yeah! (+)

JC considered this demonic basketball as it bounced up and down on the floor. In fact, the repetitive bouncing was rather off-putting. "Stop that," he said, and BBallman did. Maybe this thing COULD be useful.
Suddenly, Niowrath spoke up. "Hey, I know you!" said the sharkswordfish. "You're from the same dark recess of XIII's mind that I am from! Seriously Nio this guy is really awesome. If a little bit unruly."
JC raised his eyebrows, then shrugged. "Sure, whatever."

-=-

"ANOTHER accidental kill?" said MSG, before shrugging. "Sure." He looked at the fallen ExTha, who was only a few feet away. THIS kill wouldn't be accidental.

MSG approached ExTha, who was still laying on the ground, almost dead. MSG raised his apoca-fists when something....happened.

"Oh god," said Minio.
"What?" asked Comm.
"It's the fourth quarter of the game."
"...and?"
"You idiot!" screamed Minio, scratching Comm. "IT'S THE FOURTH QUARTER OF THE GAME! DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHAT EXTHA'S WEAPON WAS?"
"...s***. Tim Tebow's Fourth Quarter Magic."
Comm blanched, before speaking out of turn for the first time since he was in Minio's employ. "Why did you allow such a ridiculous weapon into this game?!"
"...I didn't think he'd still be alive! God dammit! God d-" Minio held her head with a paw. "MY HEAD! OW!"

"YOU WILL NOT TAKE THE LORD'S NAME IN VAIN." said a voice in her head.

Minio recovered quickly. "...good golly. If he can do that to ME, the poor saps in the game don't stand a chance!"

-=-

And so it was. ExTha suddenly gained a solid eighteen inches in height, bringing him to a solid 6 foot 0. His arm Turkey and previous wounds miraculously healed, and his eyes turned red for no apparent reason. Thunder and lightning started, specifically because he demanded it.

This was not normal lightning, however. When it struck, the lightning stayed in the sky, as if frozen there. It literally spelled out the words "ExTebowmesis". The Thunder, the loudest there has ever been, screamed the words "TEBOW" in celebration of this moment. Birds' voiceboxes changed specifically so that they could sing his name. All vampires and other unholy creatures died simply because Tim Tebow's 4th Quarter Magic had been activated.

All the players in the game stopped what they were doing to marvel at this rather odd, seemingly natural, occurence. MSG, however, is the only one who got to witness this miraculous event first-hand. He was very fortunate to do so. However, this would be the last time he ever had any good fortune, or indeed any fortune whatsoever, as ExTha's eyes, which had previously been darting every which way, settled.

"Well this is pretty cool," he said. The birds imitated him perfectly, as did the thunder and lightning. "Stop that," he said, and they did. Then they exploded.

MSG swung an apoca-fist at ExTha but ExTha blinked and the fist turned into the bullet-riddled turkey that ExTha had once worn on his arm. "Oh hey, that's back," said ExTha. Then he blinked again and MSG was teleported to hell, where he instantly died because...well, you can't have a living person in hell, really. Well I guess certain fictions could but...nah. Then the devil tortured him for a while but that's another story.

ExTha crossed himself and began walking around the city, looking to finish the game quickly. And by walking, I of course mean he teleported to random places.

Comm, in the sharp spoon, looked on in awe. "This kid is a baller," he said.

--
http://img806.imageshack.us/img806/7351/xiiirocks.jpg

Chapter 26

masterplum's tough beetle was being unruly. It was thirsting for the blood of random people and it had been a reasonably long time since it last caught somebody.

plum had walked into an abandoned post office, hoping on the offchance to find somebody who the TOUGH BEETLE could sink his teeth(?) into.

He got lucky. Ngirl had just entered through the back. The back door to the post office was visible from where plum was but they were separated by the service window. Naturally, this presented no option for the TOUGH BEETLE.

He was jonesing, excitedly quivering, and plum unleashed him, watching fondly as the TOUGH BEETLE soared through the air, straight towards the window, smashing through it.

ngirl picked up a chair and swung heavily at the beetle, knocking it back the way it came. plum ducked and the beetle went flying through the front window at twice the speed it had just soared towards ngirl at, which was...a significant speed, to say the least. The beetle was not miles away, but it was pretty far, and plum began to beat a retreat when he heard a happy ngirl exclaim, to the tune of the old spiderman song:

"masterplum...masterplum...
he went to prison for being dumb
while he was there he had no fun
be-cause he took it up the bum"

Needless to say this outraged plum. He ran at ngirl, leaping through the destroyed window and diving at her. ngirl had already dodged out of the way, back out of the back door.

Still blinded with rage, plum chased after her immediately, expecting to pursue her, but he was taken by surprise as ngirl has simply been waiting behind the door. She rammed it back into plum's face, staggering him, and was on him in an instant She leapt on the startled plum, the two of them tumbling back into the office, as she hit him in the face multiple times. Plum put up a resistance but ngirl had all the leverage, as well as... not being stunned after being hit in the face by a door >_>

ngirl decided it was time to wrap this up quickly, while the beetle was gone. She took out her Newcastle shirt and wrapped it around plum's neck, and she began to choke him to death with it.

plum struggled wildly, grabbing various items and attacking ngirl with them, but she was able to resist. ngirl began to laugh and chant malicious things at plum, enraging him further, though he could do nothing about it. The helplessness began to creep in, and shortly thereafter he began to lose consciousness.

As plum's vision began to fade, ngirl launched into one more song:
"Now your life is all my own
and I've left you at death's door
you really should have known
I'm a godless whore."

Suddenly a voice echoed through the Post Office even though it was acoustically impossible for the building to produce an echo. The voice said, loudly and authoritatively, "YOU WILL NOT TAKE THE LORD'S NAME IN VAIN." Then ngirl's face melted and she dropped to the floor, dead.

plum gasped, regaining vision and consciousness, as the beetle soared back into the room. "What happened?" it asked.

plum spoke as if possessed. "he's a playmaker."

--
This is the finest watergun ever made...the Oshawott Single Action Army. Six splashes. More than enough to moisten anything that moves.

Chapter 27

The SEAlliance walked down the street in a manner that only be described as "like a boss". With the combination of Sword I Can Barely Even Pronounce and a guitar they knew they were unbeatable. Little did they know that Tebow was running wild on this game, but we'll let them have their fun for now.

Panthera was beginning to get tired of Regaro's affections. He desired to scream at Reg about the truth. That Panthera was neither a woman nor a princess. That Reg's true purpose was not to protect him.

But Panthera also knew that the delusion would not have to last much longer. He now knew that Reg was ready to die for him and this was a valuable tool.

SUDDENLY THE SEALLIANCE AND THE REG/PANTH TEAM BUMPED INTO EACH OTHER AND BEGAN TO FIGHT.

Reg's blind defence of Panth was forgotten - he simply had no time to get her to safety. In a comedy sideshow the guitar and the frying pan met viciously. Panthera had been keeping up a facade for a long time now but this was abandoned in favour of the primal urge to survive. He struck Raka with the frying pan, and Raka staggered back.

Raka responded by playing some Hanna Montana song on the guitar which blasted Panthera away. This was simple magic and I'm surprised you were surprised by it, reader.

Raka turned to help out his partner in the OMG SEALLIANCE but he was surprised by what he saw, to say the least.

The clash of the Calad...thing and Excalibur had caused the holders of the weapons to double in size. Their eyes also turned purple, because I said so. So now Reg and Pram duelled, destroying the street as they did so. Raka had no choice but to run the f*** out of the way, rather than press home his advantage on Panthera.

With Raka and Panthera now separate, on either sides of the titanic clash that was taking place around them, they were simply there to cheer on their respective friends/lovers(?) from the sidelines.

And so the battle raged. The Caladbolg could freeze stuff or something I don't even know but it could not freeze Reg because Excalibur existed in a SUB-ZERO POCKET UNIVERSE. This sub-zero pocket universe was suddenly set on fire, as was Excalibur, and Pram could only move out of the way, collapsing a building as he did so.

The whole thing was oddly reminescent of the last scene from Tron. Except I haven't seen that movie, f*** you.

Shurikens and lightning were sent flying around as the battle waged on, destroying yet more of the ravaged city.

"Man if this keeps up, the final few competitors will just be battling on like a flat plain, or something," said Minio.
"Oh yeah. We wouldn't want that, now, would we?" said Comm sarcastically. Minio heard this and knocked him out with a bottle of JD, somehow. Probably with her tail, I guess.

The battle continued, with the theme song being a dark remix of one of Hannah Montana's most aggressive songs. Raka was playing it, since he had nothing else to do.

Panth, however, was a little more clever.
"Go, my brave knight! Do it for me! Your, uh, princess!"
Reg smiled and attacked with a renewed vigour that Pram could not handle. Reg was able to smash into Pram's face with a forearm, that staggered him. Reg was preparing to end the battle with a quick swipe, when-

...


...

absolutely nothing happened, except for Caelus flying by and sparing the confrontation no more than a casual glance.

The swipe, however, missed as Pram had just about enough to dodge out of the way. Reg had swung with such fervour that his momentum took him in a 360-degree pirouette. He toppled over and Pram watched in smug amusement as Reg hit the floor face-first.

He landed on Panthera, who died instantly in an explosion of viscera.

Regaro did not know what he had done and jumped to his feet. "It's OK, princess! I got this!" he said to the now-mangled remains of what was once Panth.

--
k

CHAPTER 28

Caelus had been on his way to the meteor of doom when he realized there was nowhere else to go but the game, so him and Charles would have to wait a little while before they took over the literal universe.

Caelus and Charles Barkley descended to the ground regally as Caelus lit up the finest of cuban cigars, turning his head slightly and slowly to the surreal clock on the wall, the second hand of which turned slightly and slowly from 1 to 2 with the thoughtfulness of the most bizarre of creatures, that creature of course being the one known as "th3l3fty", who was immediately eviscerated by all the mothers in the universe in revenge for lefty's mother having created such an odious f***ling. Charles Barkley cackled madly as he manipulated the entire mother's union into an all-out assault on both th3l3fty and "_SmurfX_", playing on their righteous anger because Charles and indeed Caelus aka Figure knew that the mothers union had been angered when lefty's mother and _SmurfX_'s mother had betrayed them by creating such vile creatures.

So in summary lefty, lefty's mother, Smurf, Smurf's mother and for good measure the entire nation of Ireland was completely torn apart by Charles Barkley, though all the people of Ireland survived and were fine (except _SmurfX_, we already covered this) - they were just split up into a succession of small islands.

However while Caelus and Charles were distracted by this noble-but-irrelevant endeavour, masterplum had snuck up on them both.

plum knew this was a bad idea but the tough beetle had insisted that he test his TOUGHNESS against the war-elk. And so plum did his best, sneaking stealthily up to Caelus. However, Charles had sensed them coming and though the TOUGH BEETLE had manaed to gnaw off a considerable chunk of the elk's skin, no serious damage was done.

"Hah! Thought you could sneak up on me, did you? You call yourself masterplum WELL I CALL YOU SILLY PLUM! HAH! KILL HIM, CHARLES!" roared Caelus.

Charles launched a barrage of absolute missile towards plum, who simply stood there. He knew he had no chance of avoiding this assault, and simply turned to his beetle, almost in slow motion. "Well I hope you're happy," said plum sadly, since he knew he was about to die. "I hope you don't regret going in for a full-frontal assault when we were outmatched WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

The answer, of course, was that the tough beetle was chomping down on the missiles, stopping them from detonating by destroying their detonators somehow. saveus_maria briefly returned from the dead to complain about how illogical this was but I quashed her. Then Ayvuir exploded ahaha suck it Ayv.

"Wow...you really are tough," said plum.
"I know. It's kind of my job," said the tough beetle coolly.

"Well now...it seems we have quite the opponent on our hands," Caelus sneered. Charles chuckled too, still not taking the beetle's challenge seriously - though actually having to think now, rather than just firing missiles.

"Hmm," said Charles, ascending into the air. He let loose a torrent of machine gun fire, but the beetle deflected all of the bullets its hard, metallic exterior. They bounced around, decimating buildings and such, but plum remained safe.

Charles' frustration increased. He next switched to a million-degree lazer which he fired from his eyes, firing it at plum and the beetle. Plum did enough to dodge, while the beetle attempted to catch the lazer with its tough body to protect plum.

The lazer, however, was doing the trick, and for the first time the beetle showed signs of pain as he felt his body melting under the intense heat. "Yes!" roared Caelus. "Feel the burning heat of your demise!" Caelus pulled out another cigar and jabbed it into the lazer to light it. He then began to smoke it, looking at the beetle as it melted slowly.

--
k

"plum," said the tough beetle quietly.
The tone of voice disconcerted plum. "...Y-yes, beetle?"
"I'm not gonna make it. I wasn't-AUGH! I wasn't tough...enough. I'm sorry."
"No! You'll be fine! You're too tough to die-oh apparently not."
The beetle's structure completely fell apart, with the molten metal landing on the ground in a puddle.

plum looked at the remains of his friend, his weapon. Even Minio shed a tear...or at least Comm thought it was a tear. Actually it was excess alcohol leaking out of her. She snickered at Comm's jealousy. "God dammit..."

"Now!" said Charles. "That beetle was...tough. Tougher than I thought."
"That's kind of his job," said plum thickly, as if holding back tears.
"True, I guess."
plum looked at the pool of molten metal. It was shimmering, vibrating. Plum had an idea what was happening and, with one last ray of hope appearing in his mind, said "HEY! CAELUS! I know a place where you can get alcohol!"
"Ooh! Hold on a second, Charles. Where?"
"Just over there!" said plum, pointing in a random direction.

"Oh really? Charles, scan it!" Charles scanned in the direction plum was pointing for alcohol. Nothing, except for residual traces left behind by Caelus being in the approximate vicinity.
"Nothing."
"YOU LIED! CHARLES, KILL HIM!"
"Time to finish this!" Charles, still airborne, aimed his leg (which was made of PISTOLS) at plum and fired.

plum had stalled just long enough.
The bullet, rather than penetrating (lol) plum's skull, bounced away harmlessly. It had hit...something.

And that something...was the tough beetle.
"Hah! You think a little heat will stop me? I'm tougher than the terminator, ballsier than Rocky, and...A BEETLE THAT IS TOUGH!"
The beetle roared unintelligably and for the first time Caelus was lost for words, as was Charles. The beetled soared towards Caelus, and Caelus' cigar fell from his mouth. This caused Caelus to find his voice. "DAMMIT! YOU SON OF A B****! THAT WAS CUBAN! I SWEAR TO GOD I'M GOING TO-" Caelus' tirade was temporarily cut off as the beetle castrated him - "KILL YOU!"

The final two words were said in a much higher inflection, almost a comical falsetto. Caelus wondered what had happened, then the pain set in.

He roared (in a high-pitched manner) painfully, but he had the presence of mind to do one thing. His mind foggy, he issued a command to Charles. "Attack plum! Then the beetle will die!"
"What?"
Charles had been programmed to respond only to a specific vocal inflection. It was a sad thing, but necessary to prevent another competitor taking him over. Minio wondered if this was fair...then shrugged and went back to some JRPG. I don't know. Seikon Denzetsi...6? Is that a game?

But yeah since Charles didn't know what Caelus was saying, he was unable to respond to Caelus' commands. So he was powerless to prevent the tough beetle ripping Caelus' head off. "YEAAHH! I'M THE TOUGHEST BEETLE! YEAAHH!"
"You really are the toughest beetle!" said plum, hugging it, as they ran off quickly from a devastated but now completely impotent (lol) Charles.

--
since mines is Devil may cry i probley would it up to the spiderboss and get killed off after that then ill yell LIGHT - ertyu on how far he'd make it in DMC

Mourning the loss of Caelus, the war-elk began to fade away.

"NO!" screamed an irate XIII. "Charles Barkley is ~THE ULTIMATE FORCE OF GOOD~ because of the actions I described earlier in the chapter - you know, the manipulation of the mothers union into the absolute destruction of those people. He is the best living thing to ever live and I will reward him by allowing him to remain in the game, even despite Caelus' death. He will also have some alcohol to hand as a tribute."



Minio shrugged. "mmkay"
ExTha roared at me. "GODLESS FIEND!" he shouted, and I was so surprised I spilled the cup of coffee I was drinking onto my crotch. Actually that happened earlier (my thighs still hurt ;_;)but I figured I would work it into the story.

tl;dr:
Caelus and Charles Barkley eviscerated some bad people
plum snuck up on them and the TOUGH BEETLE managed to win an underdog battle, because the underdog doesn't win that often in board 8 battle.

...
...
...

...



...

...and then Charles Barkley was allowed to stay because of the aforementioned evisceration.
Then ExTha caused me to spill coffee onto my crotch because I messed with the entire concept of "death" just for kicks.

--
since mines is Devil may cry i probley would it up to the spiderboss and get killed off after that then ill yell LIGHT - ertyu on how far he'd make it in DMC

XIII_rocks posted...

CHAPTER 23

THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK. THE ROCK.

Best chapter

--
Fennec... :3
http://fennecfox.biz/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Fennec-Fox-Having-Fun.jpg

Chapter 29

Nio, Niowrath, BBallman and JC walked around in a pretty awesome manner, with BBallman the only person (basketball) who did not look f***ing cool, since he was bouncing up and down and seriously annoying Niowrath.

"Will you cut that out?!" growled the sharkswordfish. "I will CUT you!"
"But this is how I move," said BBallman happily, using its desire for chaos to cause wars and nuclear explosions even outside the game without even realizing what he was doing. Minio groaned.
"Well maybe you should STOP MOVING!" screamed Niowrath, as he lunged for the rogue basketball.
JC swiped Niowrath away with the Ashbringer, and Nio grabbed the hilt of the sharkswordfish. "Stop it," said Nio wearily. "Let's just get this over with."

They were searching for a way up to the sharp spoon where they could confront Minio and the Frostmourne, but they were having no luck so far. To even climb the highest talling skyscraper would leave them not even close and BBallman couldn't be trusted to go alone because let's face it, he is literally a chaotic basketball.

Their concerns were put on hold for now however because from around the corner emerged MASTERPLUM.

Masterplum gazed at the four of them and let out a chuckle. "Is this how we go out, Tough Beetle? A 4-on-2?"
JC interrupted. "Nope. Me and the basketball can't touch you. We're not in the game."
"Not in the game? What? Then why are you here?"
"I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD BE INTERESTED IN THAT RIGHT NOW PLUM."
"You've got a point, Tough Beetle. Let's do this."

And so it began. Nio and Niowrath vs. plum and the tough beetle. It was indeed a battle for the ages. Well, the beetle vs. Niowrath was. plum vs. Nio was kind of a rubbish, comical brawl.

But Niowrath vs. the tough beetle oh man that was more epic than the final battles of the Avengers and Lord of the Rings COMBINED. Both supernatural...things were tough as hell-and now I've got a headache because of Tebow magic god damm-AUGH

But yeah needless to say both creatures were incredibly tough and hard and they went back and forth in one of the most grand battles one would ever lay eyes on.

Back and forth they went, with the battle constantly shifting between a kind of bizarre wrestling match that saw both competitors try to bite the other and rip them in half, to a straight swordfight where the beetle held up surprisingly well. Niowrath just could not seem to get enough of a cut to really harm the tough bettle and the beetle, despite its incredibly strong grip, could not seem to tear apart Niowrath.

They took a break. "You're pretty good," said the sharkswordfish.
"Pretty good?" said the tough beetle in a tough way. "I am not simply "pretty good". I am the TOUGHEST AND GRANDEST BEETLE OF THEM ALL!"
The beetle roared into action again, spearing straight into the sharkswordfish. They spiralled into the nearest building, causing it to (obviously) collapse around them.

They remained undeterred, however, with the two battle-crazy creatures relishing the thrill of battle. They broke out of the rubble, screaming for some kind of metal equivalent of blood.

The battle whirled around, while JC polished his ashbringer. Him and BBallman bet each other XIII XIII funbucks on the winner, which equates to roughly $6 million.

Beetle and sword charged each other one more time, this time BOTH managing to bite each other, their grip on each other unshakeable. Now locked together on a journey of destruction, they repeatedly circumnavigated the globe, with both of them refusing to let go.

--
If you don't want people to constantly make fun of and criticize topics like these, maybe you should not make them total garbage. - Ed Bellis

On the sixth return to the street this epic battle had started, Nio raised her fist to bring it down on plum's face. In a strange twist, though, she actually hit the two weapons right in the spot where they were joined, causing separation between the two. They were sent spinning away in separate directions, both crashing into yet more buildings which collapsed. Comm couldn't help but laugh at Minio's scowl. The expenses were rising.

The two of them were incredibly weak at this point - the fifth circumnavigation of the globe had really taken it out of them.

"Guess this is it," said Niowrath, who now had a blade of grass in his mouth.
"Yep," said the beetle. "You're pretty tough. BUT NOT AS TOUGH AS ME. LOOK AT THESE MUSCLES!"

Plum and Nio's pathetic fight had been abandoned as they looked on in awe, each cheering on their respective weapons. Said weapons hurtled towards each other with abandon, each knowing that this would decide the contest.

They collided. Shockwaves were sent all over the place, including into your living room. The collision caused a great cloud of smoke to be created and a crater to appear in the street.

plum, Nio, JC and BBallman heard something clatter into the bottom of the crater and the two combatants ran through the smoke towards the end of it. Nothing could be seen, however, except the glint of metal ascending out of the cloud.

The object reached the top of the cloud, turned around and hurtled downwards towards its foe. The velocity caused the cloud to be blown away, leaving the air clear.

It was then they saw that the tough beetle had come off worst. The tough beetle was the one who lay on the crater floor. The tough beetle was the one that looked lifeless.

And the tough beetle was the one that Niowrath was now descending towards at great speed.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed plum as Niowrath hurtled into the tough beetle, point-first, constantly accelerating.

"Be well, plum. And also be tough," said the beetle croakily. Seconds later, Niowrath landed, pinning the Beetle against the crater floor and causing it to shatter everywhere. The beetle had been destroyed once and for all.

Minio took special care this time to put all the separate pieces on different planets, to ensure they was no possibility of the beetle reassembling.

Tears filled plum's eyes as his friend departed this world - but he had no time to grieve. He ran from Nio and Niowrath.

Sadly for plum, Niowrath was too quick for him and sliced right down his back as he escaped. Blood sprayed from plum's spine area and he stumbled over, face up, unable to move.

In the sky well above the game, plum hallucinated. He thought he saw fighter planes fly quickly across the sky, things he had enjoyed watching when he was a kid.

"What are they? Jets? Jets suck," said plum, who was still coughing up blood. He was just firing off insults at random at this point, knowing he had lost and would imminently die. Niowrath approached him, prepared to finish plum quickly.

Unfortunately by merely saying "Jets suck", plum had incurred the wrath of Tebow magic.

--
"In the ring, when it comes to the greatest as far as I'm concerned, Mason Ryan doesn't have any peers." - Vince McMahon

"YOU SHALL NOT TAKE THE JETS NAME IN VAIN," screamed ExTha into plum's head. The head exploded, reformed, and exploded again 315 times, with each explosion more painful than the last. Then plum exploded one more time for good. Unnecessary, but highly necessary at the same time.

"He's a...shot caller..." coughed Niowrath. "And a kill stealer."

BBallman, JC and Nio ran up to the Sharkswordfish, hugging it and sustaining various wounds in the process. They did not care, though, for he had vanquished their greatest and most dangerous foe yet - the tough beetle and his partner.

"That guy was...pretty tough..." said the wounded Niowrath.
"THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT!" screamed the beetle from the afterlife.
"Hmm. Well," said JC, who was looking up and onwards. "We might just have figured out our ride to the sharp spoon."

He pointed. The other three followed his gaze and indeed there was an option available. Wedge Antilles was running from a cybernetic war-elk that hovered through the sky on jet thrusters.
Nio, Niowrath and JC, in particular, grinned. BBallman was too busy playing some kind of prank on that Dewott of GenesisSaga's.

--
THE Mason Ryan.

Chapter 30

Everyone died. Except for one man who had SECRETLY REINCARNATED.

His name? WiggumFan267.

The winner was WiggumFan267.

"oh," said Minio, before dying again.

--
Altidore

Chapter 30

Obviously that wasn't the real chapter.

I killed Wigs again in the manner of his choosing.

--
http://themanchampionship.tumblr.com/liquorbasket
Current Champ: Alberto Del Rio

Chapter 30

Here's the rest of Chapter 30.

Regaro's duel with Pram continued in anger, a godless duel of lightning and rock music that illuminated the very fabric of the universe. That there could be only one winner was almost a shame, such was the viciousness and magnificent spectacle of this battle.

The music from Raka's guitar continued, serenading the battlers with some kind of rock anthem. This would usually be doing some damage to both competitors. However, two things were preventing this. One was the fact that the clash of the swords had caused both competitors to greatly increase in power, and the second was the fact the music in Regaro and Pram's head was one of pounding trance music (because I feel I could arrange this swordfight to match the beat of said music). As a result, they were both immune from the effects of Raka's guitar.

Raka Raka Raka Raka Raka Raka Raka Raka Raka Raka Raka Raka Raka Raka Raka Raka Raka Raka Raka Raka Raka. There, I think I've mentioned him enough times to even the score with him a bit.

But anyway, to an outside observer, the fight was taking place over a backdrop of Rock music, played from Raka's official guitar.

Reg's focus on saving his beloved Panthera continued unabated as the battle raged on. He had no clue that Panth had, in fact, died a horrid death. This knowledge fuelled him as he struck out at Panthera once again, bullets and knives and thunder erupting from Excalibur with the fury of a thousand suns. Pram matched Regaro, though, with the Caladbolg doing all sorts of magic s*** to keep Regaro at bay.

On the battle went. Raka's fingers were getting tired. Reg and Pram were not, as the battle became almost routine. It became their lives. Reg almost forgot about Panthera entirely as distaste and hatred, but also a kind of respect, grew for his opponent. Regaro scored with a cut to Pram's cheek; Pram stuck back, managing to hit Regaro in the calf. This caused a brief spray of blood.

Reg broke out of his trance upon seeing this and dodged back towards where he imagined Pram would be, checking the wound. "It's alright, my love. I'm fine. Soon, I'll be rid of this menace and we can win this game together!"
"Who are you talking to?" shouted Pram over Raka's music.
"My dear Panthera! The princess I have been assigned to protect!" Reg shouted back.
"What? Raka, stop playing for a minute!"

A slightly miffed Raka ceased the face-melting, hour-long solo.

"You said you were protecting some princess? So where is she?"
"Why, she's right he-" Regaro indicated where Panthera should have been standing. Panthera, however, was not standing. Nor was he sitting. No, Panthera was a mangled mess after Reg had landed on her. Only the dress was remotely recognizable.

Regaro's mind went blank as he attempted to rationalize what he had done. He seemed to be falling into an infinite abyss of despair and anguish, with only the laughter of Pram and Raka audible.

Had he killed the princess he had been protecting? Had he landed on her and ended her precious life? Had he done it without even knowing?

Regaro's scream of guttural pain was awful to hear, though in the sharp spoon Minio relished it, as she held Comm in a chokehold with her tail.

"Oh, this is so delightfully tragic," said Minio. "He's going to kill himself, isn't he! Pram isn't even going to have to do anything!"
"MMMMMMMMMMMMMHHGNMGNGNGGMGNGHMMGMGMHHH!" screamed Comm as he tried desperately to escape.

--
http://themanchampionship.tumblr.com/liquorbasket
Current Champ: Alberto Del Rio

Pram had been enjoying the duel too much for it to end this way but after Regaro had been screaming for 5 literal minutes, he instructed Raka to start playing again. "Alright, you poor sap, let's end this."
Pram didn't move towards Reg; instead, he raised his Caladbolg and let loose a lightning bolt that should have caused Reg to explode.

Reg looked up when Raka started playing and saw the lightning come towards him. It seemed to be in slow motion, but Regaro was paralyzed by grief.

It was then that Panthera appeared and said, "this is a total cliche, but you should still win this competition for me rather than wallowing in grief."

It should also be noted that that was not the true spirit of Panthera, it was a hallucination on Reg's part, since Panthera would probably laugh at Reg. Honestly, the guy thinks Panth was a literal princess so we can excuse him some delusions.

Anyway, Reg was inspired. He rolled out of the way of the lightning and, with renewed vigour, executed multiple forward rolls and somersaults as he approached Pram. This was not just for show, as it dodged all of Panthera's attempts to kill him with lightning.

Regaro had just reached Pram, when the confused SEAlliance member decided to use his sword as an actual sword, slicing out at Regaro.

It wasn't good enough. Regaro deflected the strike on his way out of yet another forward roll and, staying low, swept Panthera's leg. Regaro used the momentum he still had from the roll to leap into the air and, on the way down, turned the tip of his sword so it was facing downwards.

As he landed, the sword plunged into Pram's heart. He was dead.

The duel over, Regaro returned to normal size. Raka wasn't taking any chances though. He gulped, and ran.

Regaro stopped briefly to wipe a tear from his face before giving chase.

"Lame," said Minio, losing interest. She released Comm from the chokehold. "That Reg guy is a f***ing basket case."

--
Rockin Around

Chapter 31

The chase was on.

Raka ran quickly and with great vigour away from a bloodthirsty, outraged and vicious Regaro. That's a lot of adjectives, but Regaro was very vengeful. He needed to avenge Panthera by winning this game. He had to do it now; it was no longer about protection. He was being driven by some...higher purpose.

That Raka could even escape at all was quite frankly surprising; Raka had always been naturally quick, and it was coming into play here.

They passed that f***ing Dewott that GenSag won't shut up about on the way. It looked lost, and confused, but neither competitor paid it any mind.

On they continued. While running, Raka attempted to play music of doom that would repel Reg but he could not play an accurate tune while running. Similarly, Reg was struggling to aim Excalibur at Raka. Lightning, bullets, fire, shoryukens. Whatever he aimed was missing.

As the chase continued Reg's righteous frustration and rage only grew, leading to his head to swell in a somewhat dangerous manner.

Raka, panicking, didn't think to hide out and try and ambush Reg. He simply kept running, and as he rounded yet another corner and a strange scene greeted him.

Firstly, ExTha was there. This was odd enough in itself because of the bizarre glow that ExTha had taken on since being overtaken by Tebow magic; his entire presence was both threatening and intense and it very nearly stopped Raka dead in his tracks.

Fortunately Raka maintained his composure and kept running, but that was not before he saw the second, third and fourth elements that made up this strange scene. A portal in the wall of a nearby building which seemingly seemed to lead to somewhere quite different. A panicked Wedge Antilles emerging from it. And following him through, with a rock music and face-melting guitar solo accompaniment? A cybernetic war-elk by the name of Charles Barkley.

Raka panicked and turned back, but was faced with an onrushing Regaro. He had nowhere to go, and as that realization dawned a rather psychotic grin appeared on Reg's face.

Raka turned again and ran towards an unknown factor, rather than the certain doom that awaited him with Reg; ExTha, Wedge and Charles.

One thing Raka had noticed about ExTha was the fact that he was standing stock-still; barely moving at all. What he didn't know was that ExTha's mind was in another universe entirely - he had chosen this moment to take a break from murder to ponder the great questions of reality and how he could solve them with his awesome.

As a result, he was not particularly invested in what was going on as chaos erupted around him. Both Wedge and Raka sought to take advantage of this by hiding behind the amazing presence of this Tebow-powered maniac ("WHAT DID I F***ING TELL YOU?!" screamed Maniac as I handed him yet another royalty check, which he used to purchase a veritable army of spare firetrucks).

However, Wedge got there first, just as Charles fired a grenade from his mouth.

ExTha caught it without thinking or even breaking out of his trance.

Everything seemed to stop; Wedge looked at the grenade. Raka looked at the grenade. Reg looked at Raka. ExTha, stirring finally, looked at the grenade.

"Oh," said ExTha.

--
Rockin Around

"Throw the thing away!" screamed a nearby Wedge, who had put ExTha between himself and Charles, using ExTha as a shield.
Raka was just getting there too as he looked to escape from Reg's clutches. The tactic proved usefulo quickly, as Reg fired lightning from Excalibur that was simply absorbed into ExTha, nullifying its threat. "THROW IT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" screamed an angry Raka.

"Oh yeah, I suppose I should," said ExTha casually. He raised his arm and made a throwing motion, aiming back towards Charles Barkley.

"In case you didn't know..." said Wedge with a smirk.

Everyone was expecting the elk to explode completely, but nothing happened. Nothing travelled through the air. Nothing...changed except for ExTha staring at the grenade with mild surprise.

ExTha could not throw the grenade. It was stuck to his hand. "I can't throw!" he said. "I can't throw! I can't-"BOOM.

The grenade went off. Because Charles Barkley had fired it, it of course was more powerful than your average grenade. It was DEVASTATINGLY powerful, in fact, and was almost like a mini-nuke. Except not. Whatever. Either way, the explosion was pretty massive and took out about a 20-foot radius.

ExTha, obviously, survived completely untouched about from slightly singed eyebrows, which he raised at the crater that had formed around him. "Huh. This reality is kind of weak and easy to destroy." He tested that theory by decimating a planet. He was concerned that he apparently had a weakness, though. Minio hurriedly took notes.

However, Wedge and Raka had not been so lucky. The grenade's explosion had incinerated them completely.

"Heh," said Regaro.

--
The allegorical user

CHAPTER 32

The Portal was still there.

Barkley sauntered through it in the most badass of ways, coming out on the other side right in front of ExTha, who was still stood in the middle of a crater. Nio, JC and the rogue BBallman followed him through carefully, keeping their eye on the Tebow-powered monster. Reg hung back at the edge of the scene, surveying things carefully.

"Whatup," said ExTha casually to the band of misfits.
"Why didn't my Grenade kill you?" said Barkley. "It should have killed you."
"Well I killed like, eight people in the last couple of hours and some of them were half the city away. I also casually destroyed a planet and other realities. So I don't think a grenade can do that much do kill me."
"Huh."

Nio, JC and BBallman looked at each other. Their eyes lit up. JC stepped forward.

"So uh, ExTha? We were going to kill the creator of this game so we could all escape. Now I'm sure you could escape anyway with your insane power, but could you find it in your heart to help us out?"
"It's funny, actually," said ExTha as he fired a lazer into the sky. "I can't escape this place. I tried but I think I'm limited to existing in this reality, even if I can see all the other ones."

Reg rubbed his head. It was aching. He wanted so dearly to just fire at Nio and ExTha, his remaining opponents - but he knew that he had no chance of beating ExTha in particular, and probably not Nio either given what she had on her side. He figured he had one choice - approach and join them. So he did. Besides, maybe killing the boss would solve his problem.

He stepped forward. "I'll help too."

"Sweet!" said JC. "Soon that sword...will be mine. I thirst for its demise."
"Wait, a sword? I thought it was a cat that ran this thing?"
"I...the sword and the cat are...sort of an item."
"...Still not the weirdest thing I've heard today."

There was a pause. "Well, my master was killed because of this game and I miss him," said Barkley, shedding a mechanical tear which Maniac - who had appeared from nowhere - licked. "So I'll help you, I guess."

"Alright so we want to kill the cat, the sword....I guess? and try and end the game in the process so we can all get out of here. Is that right?" asked Reg.
"Yes," said ExTha.
"How do YOU know that's right?" asked JC. ExTha looked at him.
"I am literally a super-dimensional being. You really think I don't know everything already?"
"...Fair point."

"ALRIGHT THEN LET'S GO!" said Charles Barkley as seats sprouted from him for everyone to sit on. ExTha, of course, flew.

Charles activated his thermal vision and organic sensors, looking into the sky for something. He found the Sharp Spoon with laughable ease and they began their ascent.

* * *

--
Haters gonna hate

* * *

"..............Dammit," said Minio, slamming her paws down on the control panel. "DEPLOY ALL THE BEYONCE, GAGA AND ADELE BOMBS! YES, ALL 21 OF THEM!"

The sharp spoon launched devastating bombs towards the ground. They were so powerful and moved so quickly that even ExTha, Excalibur and Barkley could not stop them all - but they could easily stop the ones that were an immediate threat. Several of the bombs slipped through the net, hitting the ground and completely destroying what was left of the city.

The group, however, remained unharmed. Minio sighed. Her computers estimated they would arrive in mere minutes. She had one final defence. ...Well, two, counting herself.

She summoned Comm by opening a bottle of Whiskey. "THIS ISN'T FOR YOU!" Minio cackled in a rather insane manner. "But good to know that still works."

Comm, his spirit almost completely broken at this point, just sighed. "Yes, ma'am. What can I help you with?"
"Well, it's not just me you'd be helping! I have a friend who needs a host."

Minio hit the big red button on her control panel. A panel slid to the left and, behind it, lay an object. It was long, slender, and get your mind out of the gutter. It wore sunglasses, and had once been smoking the now long-extinguished cigar that lay limply to one side. There was a hint of sand.

It was the Frostmourne. Of time. Though it only had one tank left, since that was all Minio could afford in the black market.

"IT'S THAT F***ING SWORD!" screamed Comm in terror, quickly moving towards the door. Minio pressed another button, and the door shut. And locked. And then she froze Comm in place.

"You're quite right to be scared, Comm," said Minio. She slunk off the desk. "After b8b1, Frosty here died quite quickly. Well, he didn't die. He's a sword. But he lost his personality and his awesomeness. He became...'just a sword'. Do you know why?"
Then she remembered that Comm couldn't speak or move.
"That was rhetorical anyway," she said. "It's because he needs a host. The guy in the last game was taken over by the Frostmourne, allowing it to take on a life of its own. But when that guy died, the Frostmourne's spirit quickly followed. And you're the one who killed him, so in many ways you're responsible. Thus all the torture," she added, gesturing at the bottle of Whiskey.

"The plus side of you killing JC is, of course, the fact that you're stronger than he is, so you'll make a better host. Even better, I've spent the last couple of days completely breaking your spirit, so Frosty should be able to take over your mind and leech away at your life force pretty much immediately!"
Minio pressed one more button. Miniature cranes came from seemingly nowhere and grabbed the Frostmourne from its stand in the wall. It was moved across the room quickly and placed in Comm's hand. His eyes widened. Minio smiled. Her last stand would not be her last. So it wouldn't be a last stand at all. Just a stand. Whatevs.

Comm spoke. But now his voice was deeper, smoother, more awesome. "Hey, Minio. What's up. Been a while."
Minio blushed and giggled. "I'm in trouble, Mr. Frosty."
"Of course you are." Comm grabbed a cigar from a nearby shelf and put it in the Frostmourne's mouth, lighting it up. "Of course you are. Well, let me deal with that for you, babe."

The sharp spoon suddenly shook from impact, but remained intact. Barkley had fired the first missile. The game was on.

--
Luster Reloaded 7:37pm
THE CALLOUT

CHAPTER 33, AKA THE TALE OF A KITTEN AND HER SWORD

Minio's evil plotting was interrupted by a phone call from Mr. God. Mr. God controlled most things, but had entrusted Minio to handle this one. And it was going wrong. Mr. God had wanted to end the game completely, to cut his losses and get out of this whole mess.

Minio insisted, however. "It's fine, Mr. God. You just go deal with Figure or whatever the issue is now and I'll clean things up here. Yes, it's under control. No, it should be fine. Yes, this conversation is an ironic echo of the opening of b8b2 and oh my god was that really six months ago? Yes. No. Yes. Yes. Yes. OK. See you soon. Do God stuff."

The kitten hung up just as an almighty CLANG was heard. Another missile had made contact with the sharp spoon but had done very little, if any, damage. She chuckled and pressed a button, lowering a huge platform from the bottom of the ship. Comm was already in place on it and he braced himself against the wind.

The raiding party, who were surrounding the ship and firing everything they had at it to basically no effect, took in this new development with surprise.

"That's...Comm, isn't it?" asked Nio. Niowrath growled.
"Yes," said JC through gritted teeth. "And look what he's carrying."
"...Uh, you might know what that is but I really don't-"
"IT'S THE FROSTMOURNE YOU IDIOT! CHARLES, FIRE MISSILES AT THAT BASTARD NOW!"
Barkley obliged but the Frostmourne simply cut them all out of the air. The final one was used to relight the sword's extinguished cigar.
"Ugh. ExTha! Use...weird...Tebow...powers on it!"
ExTha did everything he could, but the Frostmourne was able to resist even ExTha's reality-bending stuff. "My powers aren't at their max unless he uses the lord's name in vain!"
"Well that's just typical. Ugh."

The Frostmourne hadn't even lost his sunglasses in the assault. Comm looked somewhat...baked, though. And I don't mean, like, on drugs.

"God dammit," said BBallman. ExTha instinctively punted it into another universe.
"...oops."
Everyone completely ignored this.
"We've got no choice," said JC. "We'll have to all surround him and attack him directly."
"Alright. That doesn't sound like it will fail at all," said Reg, clutching Excalibur.

--
Oops! I'm breaking the fourth wall!
http://imgon.net/di-CFMD.gif

Charles prepared launchpads on the extended platform that now surrounded his body and fired them simultaneously and without warning. Nobody needed to worry, though, since the cybernetic elk had of course made every possible preparation to get everywhere to land where they needed to.

In this case, it was on the platform that Comm was standing in the middle of. The launchpads had fired everybody onto the platform in different locations, surrounding Comm.

"Remember, Frosty, I want some of them alive," said Minio in his ear.
"Why is that so important, babe?"
"It just is."
"Alrighty then."

Nio and Niowrath, Reg and Excalibur, Charles, JC and ExTha surrounded Comm on five sides, closing in slowly.
"ATTAAAAAACK!" screamed JC and all of them ran in, seeking to destroy the sword.
"FOR PANTHERAAAAAAAAA!!!" screamed Reg.

Comm shook his head no and moved at the literal speed of light, plunging the Frostmourne into ExTha. A huge, gaping hole was created in his stomach and ExTha's powers were mostly drained away by the Frostmourne's power. "OH GOOD GOD THAT IS AMAZING!" screamed the Frostmourne in ecstasy.

However, using the lord's name in vain meant that the powers refused to adapt to the Frostmourne, so they simply left, wandering in the ether. ExTha sank to the ground, being kept alive by what little remained of his power.

Everyone stopped at this and Comm took advantage, battering Nio with the flat side, knocking her and Niowrath unconscious as she used the swordfish to defend herself. Charles Barkley he dodged behind and drained the battery. Quickly the advantage had been reduced to 2-to-1.

--
Also known as the Sarlacc.

Regaro wielded Excalibur and ran right at Comm, bringing it to bear and swinging wildly at Comm in a wild attempt to stop the carnage, but he too failed. Moving robotically and almost effortlessly, Comm and the Frostmourne removed Reg's arm, causing him to drop Excalibur. It fell from the platform and Comm swung again. Reg was hit so hard by Comm's first and then by the Frostmourne itself that he was thrown into the depths of the sharp spoon. Heavy supply boxes flattened him completely, crushing him further, and he died.

"Oh well. She said 'some'," after all, said the psychotic sword as it lit up another cigar in slow-motion.

"So it's come to this," said JC, who stoo defiant in the face of the rampage he had just witnessed.
"Indeed it has," said the Frostmourne and Comm simultaneously.

JC raised his only hope, the Ashbringer, and swung at Comm.
Comm blocked it effortlessly, but JC had been expecting it and launched an anti-Frost miniature nuclear mine from the Ashbringer (because why the hell not), directly into Comm's face. This was different to what Barkley and ExTha had used. This weapon used the very essence of the Ashbringer itself as a projectile weapon and had been specifically designed to destroy the Frostmourne. It was JC's best and brightest hope and he had been saving it for this moment.

JC jumped back triumphantly from the explosion, expecting to see a headless Comm as the smoke cleared.

What he got was quite different. Comm, his head now on fire, emerged from the smoke like some kind of nightmare creature. Crossing, agape, raised the sword but it was too late. Comm had reached him in no time at all and a low sweep with the vicious Frostmourne removed JC's legs. As JC's entire structure collapsed, Comm punted him stylishly off the platform and JC hurtled towards the ground.

The Ashbringer following him in his rapid descent. The city had gone almost literally to hell; it was a fiery mess of terrible things, and JC was instantly incinerated as he landed. Before he expired, he awoke. He realized he was about to die, but he could not understand why. He had done everything right; he had come to exact flawless revenge on Comm and the Frostmourne and had equipped himself with just the weapon to do it, but he had failed in both endeavours. He closed his eyes and accepted failure before his complete annihilation.

"That," grunted the Frostmourne, "was painful." He blinked and Comm's flaming head was instantly extinguished.

--
Also known as the Sarlacc.

-=-

The remaining good guys were bound, captured, and brought to Minio's main office. Charles Barkley was deactivated, the battery drained. Niowrath's murderous personality had been drained also by the Frostmourne and he was now nothing more than a particularly sharp swordfish. ExTha's powers were not gone completely - it was impossible to do that - but they had been severely reduced by the Frostmourne's power. The gaping hole in ExTha's stomach continued to bleed all over the place, and Minio jumped through it, laughing maniacally.

Minio rather enjoyed messing with these tied-up ingrates, but her gaze softened with recognition when it settled on Nio. This moment was quickly over, however, as absolute insanity reigned inside that f***ed up head once again.
"Minio...don't you remember me?" Coughed Nio. "Remember the fun times we had?"
"Yeah but the Frostmourne and playing God are just...well...more fun."
"But think what you're doing! That sword is insane! It'll kill-"
"INSANE?! You want to talk about INSANE?! YOU ARE WIELDING A SHARK SWORDFISH! I AM A TALKING, DEMONIC KITTEN! EXTHA HAS MAGICAL POWERS INSPIRED BY AN NFL PLAYER WHO ISN'T EVEN MAGICAL! THERE'S A CYBERNETIC WAR-ELK NEXT TO YOU!"
Nio was silent.
"Everything about this situation is INSANE, you silly girl! But I might as well get the best of it!"
Nio sobbed. "What happened to you?"
"Happened to me? I was always like this! You just channelled me for yourself before...I was the only thing that got you so far in the first game!"
"But uh...you were my friend...I went into a murderous rampage because I thought I lost you!"
"Oh my god this drivel. SHUT UP."

Comm entered. He had just dunked his rather burned head in water, and was now almost fine, though he had taken a lot of damage from that mine of JC's.

"Prisoners giving you lip, babe?"
"A little. Actually, screw this. Frosty, it's time we blew this scene. Again. ExTha can win, he's going to die any second anyway."
"You mean-" Nio gasped.
"YES, THAT IS WHAT I MEAN, WORTHLESS, FEEBLE WOMAN."
Minio paused.
"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, FROSTY, RIGHT?"
"uhh..."
"KILL NIO!" screamed Minio. "KILL HER NOW!"

Nio looked at the kitten that was once hers imploringly, but the spark of recognition was completely gone, replaced by bloodlust.
"Might as well do this right," said Comm. He grabbed ExTha's hand and channelled ExTha's power into Nio. It might not have been enough to kill the Frostmourne or Comm but it was certainly enough to kill a mere human like Nio. Her head was blown off by the raw power of ExTha's touch; the last thing she saw were Minio's merciless eyes.

ExTha, bleeding profusely and fading in and out of consciousness, was barely even aware of the fact that he had won.

Winner: ExTha

--
All my dues are paid, your bed has been made, and all I get IS...ratings.
HASHTAG. HEEL.

CHAPTER 33-2

"Hah!" said Minio. She reached towards a button that would transport them out of this place and back to the normal world. With Comm still bound by the Frostmourne's powers, they could start a whole new life together.

She pushed the button. It didn't work.

She pushed it another few times.

It still didn't work.

Mr. God's voice suddenly spoke from nowhere and everywhere. "Uh, are you trying to end the game before it's finished?"
"But it IS finished! Everyone's dead except ExTha! The game is over!"
"Apparently not."

Indeed, apparently not.

One minute, tiny section of the city had resisted the ultrahot flames. It was not destroyed, it was not on fire. It was ruined, a complete wreck, and hotter than hell - but not on fire. Survivable, at least in the short term. And two entities were, indeed, surviving.

Maniac was still down there alongside his trusty Firetruck, alongside Dewott, trying to fight the fires. It was here that something had landed, through sheer chance. It was stuck in the ground, but it shook a little, dislodging itself - seemingly of its own free will.

And then it shook a little more.

The reflection from it caugh Dewott's eye, distracting the Otter-like creature. Dewott briefly stopped firing Hydro Pump and Water Gun and w/e at the fire to look at it and was subsequently engulfed by the flame.
"Dewott!" screamed Maniac.
This distraction caused Maniac and his firetruck to also finally be engulfed in flame and destroyed completely as the fire finally broke down this final, token resistance and spread to cover this last area of the city.

As it enveloped the area, however...something shot out of the flames. Something long, silver, lethal, magical, legendary, and rather sexy.

Excalibur was rejoining its master. The sword's one true calling was Reg. They were bound together. To kill one, you had to kill both. That was the nature of Reg's absolute nobility.

Yes, you read it right. Reg wasn't delusional. He really was a knight.

--
All my dues are paid, your bed has been made, and all I get IS...ratings.
HASHTAG. HEEL.

Chapter 34

Excalibur's ascent caught the eye of the perplexed Minio.
"...Oh. Jesus christ," she said softly. "Frosty, baby, could you go and absolutely destroy Regaro for me? Even if you don't kill him, take his other arm, both his legs, stuff like that."
Unbeknownst to either, the barely-conscious ExTha's eyes widened.
"But I killed him!"
"Clearly not. His sword is going to rejoin him. So I'd go do it now."

Commomourne left without another word.

* * *

In the supply room, Regaro came to. He had thought he was dead. Certainly his left side was in a lot of pain, since he was armless - but the bleeding had stopped. He was conscious and fully aware of things, despite his pain. He knew not what to do now, though; Excalibur was gone and he was weaponless. He would have to take out Comm and Minio on his own like this.

It was then that an amazing thing happened; Excalibur crashed through the hole that Reg himself had made in the cargo area and landed right next to him. It then fused with Reg's severed arm, becoming part of him.

Reg's vitality instantly soared - and not a moment too soon, as Comm stormed into the room.

"REG! I KNOW YOU'RE IN HERE!"
"Yes, Comm, I am!" Excalibur allowed him to throw his voice. Comm whirled around, searching for Reg here...there...everywhere!
"Because of this game my dearest love, Panthera, died. Because of this game, my arm has been replaced with a sword. I'm sick of your s***. I'm going to kill you and leave this place. It offends my knighthood that both you and that F***ING KITTEN continue to exist!"
Commomourne laughed softly.
"PANTHERA WAS A GUY! HE WAS A GUY IN A DRESS WHO YOU DELUDED YOURSELF INTO THINKING WAS A GIRL FOR YOU TO SAVE!"
Reg sighed.
"No, I knew Panthera LONG before this game. You're right that Panthera was once a man, but he underwent a sex-change operation long ago. It was botched....and Panth underwent hypnosis to convince himself it had never happened. One day, I caught him in a dress, as if the hypnosis was wearing off...and then suddenly we were both here."
Comm was silent.

"So you see, I'm not cr-wait a second." Reg paid Manaic his loyalties from my accidental use of ...that word. "where was I? Oh yeah. I'm not crazy, and thanks to this game, my favourite person in the world died. I now exist solely to take revenge on those who did this to me."
Comm broke his silence. "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO KILLED PANTHERA!"
"SHUT UP! I'LL END YOU!" screamed Reg, fuelled by anger and his inherent sense of nobility. Reg exploded out of the supply boxes he was buried under and Comm had no chance to react. They cascaded down onto him, burying him there.

Comm obviously wasn't dead, but Reg had been given more than enough time to escape.

Reg stormed into the cockpit and Minio said "man Comm that took you a while, I-oh. Hi Reg."
Reg prepared to decimate Minio.
"Wait! WAIT! Look!"
Minio pointed to the bloodied ExTha, the hole in his body still gaping.
"Kill HIM! Kill him and you win this game and ESCAPE this world forever!"
Regaro considered. He could win...and go back to his normal world...his normal...Pantheraless world. Reg's brow furrowed. It'd be Pantheraless because of this...f***ing...Kitten. Reg's breathing quickened. It shallowed. He pulsed with rage, with fury. His Excalibur-arm seemed to also turn slightly red with raw anger. Minio backed away, before making a lunge for any random button on the dashboard that might save her.

She failed to hit any of them. Reg was across the room in seconds and, with the increased power he had by being one with Excalibur, caught up to the fleeing Minio. She was destroyed by Reg; decimated, cut apart, blasted to smithereens by the Excalibur's awesome power and Reg's incandesent rage.

--
kk

vComm chose this moment to burst into the bridge, having recovered from the surprise box attack.

Comm took one look at the scene, and then looked at Reg, who grinned triumphantly, almost psychotically.

The Frostmourne lost its cool, quite literally - the cigar in its mouth incinerated from the sheer force of its anger. The Frostmourne, and Comm's cold, dead eyes, glared at Regaro.
"You son of a b****. That kitten was my one true love. My one ticket to happiness. And you ruined it! You bastard!"
"Doesn't feel good, does it?"
Commomourne said no more and leapt at Reg, knocking various items over as the Frostmourne swung wildly. Reg steeled himself to resist the undisciplined, crazy attack; whereas on the bridge the good guys had been attacking at random, here it was Commourne who had lost his efficient, robotic movements. It evened the odds.
Regaro blocked more and more attacks, with Excalibur seemingly moving on its own. Comm tried to drain power but the Excalibur resisted that, too. Something had changed; even Reg was surprised by what his sword was doing.

The frustrated Frostmourne's frustration seemed to explode, as the attacks became frenzied and ridiculous. Reg was struggling to keep up with the movements of his own sword - especially since the sword was actually one of his arms at this point - as he desperately sought to defend and defend. An attack that could have destroyed the moon was instantly negated by the Excalibur's power. Commomourne roared in fury.

"I WILL F***ING DESTROY YOU. AND THEN I WILL F***ING KILL YOU AGAIN, AND AGAIN, AND AGAIN. IN A HUNDRED DIFFERENT WAYS. I WILL IMPREGNATE YOU WITH A CHILD, WAIT 9 MONTHS, AND THEN KILL IT IN FRONT OF YOU. THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WILL BE YOU DYING I WILL EDGIHDHAUGGHGHHHHHHH DIE. JUST F***ING DIE!"
"Someone's mad," panted Reg.
"HROAWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

The Frostmourne exploded in anger. Into literal smithereens. Reg shrugged and looked around, preparing to decapitate Comm - who looked, briefly, sane.
"HAHA FOOLED YOU! THINGS DON'T EXPLODE IN RAGE YOU IDIOT!" The Frostmourne instantly reformed and lunged at Reg, who dodged at the last second.
"DIE! F***ING DIE! I SWEAR TO GOD, I-" Commomourne stopped midsentence and dropped his voice. "Oops."
Turning around, Comm repelled Reg's attacks one-handed as he looked at ExTha, who was slumped on the floor. But his eyes had widened and his shackles had burnt away.

ExTha, still with a huge hole in his stomach, stood.
Commomourne, still deflecting attacks, backed away in panic towards the exit, but it was useless. Tebow magic transcended such things.
Commodore's head was instantly removed from his body, and his remains teleported to some kind of hell. He was dead (obviously).

--
XIII_rocks. The cream of XIII fanboyism.

The Frostmourne clattered to the floor, its spirit quickly draining away. "Hah!" shouted Reg. He ran to pick it up, wanting to throw it out of the window to the deadly fire below.
"Don't pick that thing up," said ExTha.
"Oh yeah," Reg replied, approaching with caution. "Oh, I've got an idea."
Reg reached for a button that said "hatch open". He pressed it, and a hatch in the back of the cockpit opened - a trapdoor of sorts. Reg walked back over to near the Frostmourne and poked it with Excalibur, rather than himself wanting to drop it out of the nearby hatch.
This was a very, very stupid move.

"That was a very, very stupid thing to do," said the Frostmourne as soon as the two swords made contact.
The Frostmourne drained all of the Excalibur's power. All of it. In just a split second. Reg yelped in pain.
Reg withdrew the sword-arm quickly but the damage was done. "Doesn't matter," said Reg. "You're still useless without a host."
"True. Even now the power from that sword of yours is draining away. But -" the Frostmourne again lit a cigar - "it's enough for me to teleport out of this hellish reality to look for another one."
"NO!"
"YES! Maybe some other poor soul will pick me up...and believe me, you're the one I'll be looking for when that happens."
The Frostmourne was gone. It had disappeared instantly, leaving nothing but a trail of cigar smoke behind.

"Dammit," said Reg forlornly. At least they didn't have to worry about him for now, though. Reg went over to check ExTha.
"Thanks," he said.
"You're welcome," ExTha. "You did a good job up there..."
"My sword did all the work." Reg looked at it sadly - now it was merely sharp metal, weighing one side of him down. Nothing more. The Frostmourne had taken care of that.

"Not ALL of the work," said ExTha with a smile. "You didn't hear because you were in the supply room, but Minio took the saviour's name in vain. It's not quite bad as taking the lord's name in vain but it's pretty close, and it provided me with enough power to give your sword a little boost. It was a clutch situation, and my Tebow powers work better in clutch situations, so Excalibur was responded magnificently. I suppose the combined power was enough to match that thing."
"...I see."

"Now, we should get out of here," said ExTha. "I have a hole in my stomach I kind of want to get filled."
"hmm," said Reg. He pressed the same button, that, unbeknownst to him, Minio had pressed earlier - he one marked "leave the game to teleport out of this place and back to the normal world".

It didn't work.

Reg pressed it again.

It still didn't work.

"uhh...do we...have to kill each other? That doesn't seem right after all this..."


Next time: the absolute final chapter! (lol not really)

--
"I have a place to live because of FFXI, I lost my virginity because of FFXI, and that's why it's my #5 game of all time" - RPGLord95

Chapter 35

"I guess we will have to kill each other..." said ExTha. "Welp."
Reg raised Excalibur, preparing to decapitate ExTha. Likewise, ExTha tried to power up what little Tebow power he had left.

Suddenly an almighty voice filled the room. "Minio? Did you finish the game yet?"
Reg and ExTha paused. "Uh. Hello?"
"Who is this?" asked the voice.
Reg did the talking. "It's, uh...Reg. And ExTha. And Minio's dead."
"Dead? ...huh. And would you two be...her assistants?"
"No, we're competitors in the game."

The voice was silent for a moment. "Oh really? And you haven't killed each other yet?"
"No, we were thinking of getting on that right now so one of us could get out of here, but..."
"And Minio's dead, you say?"
"Yes."
The voice was silent again. After a minute or so of Reg and ExTha both standing, preparing to attack each other, the voice said: "...well, whatever."
There was a snap, as if someone had just clicked their fingers.

ExTha and Reg were now in an office. Across from them sat something god-like. A plaque on his desk read "Mr. God."
"Basically here's how it is, chaps. You both win. You can split the prize money. Minio's dead, so the entire game is basically a washout at this point."
"Really?"
"We don't have to kill each other?"
"Nope," said Mr. God, expressionless.
Excitedly, ExTha and Reg hugged.

"Here's your money," said Mr. God, giving them both a briefcase containing 500 million XIII funbucks.

"Awesome! Thanks, Mr. God!"
"What about this hole in my stomach?" asked ExTha.
"Injuries will be healed when you get back home."
"Cool."

Alright, well that's board 8 battle over again. Thanks everyone. Appreciate your winners - Reg and ExThaNemesis! Turn, Reg and ExTha. Turn and wave to the 3 or 4 readers who haven't abandoned this trainwreck! The audience appreciates your effort, fictionalized versions of b8 users!

Good men. Oh, and they bowed, too. How nice of them. Anyway. See you next time!

Joint Winners: (for real this time) Reg and ExTha

--
http://img.imgcake.com/Nevest356/1dollagifas.gif

"Wait, no, that f***ing sucks," said the Audience.
"Yeah, we didn't wait all this time for there to be TWO winners!" said IRL!GenesisSaga.
"WE WANT BLOOD!" Roared IRL!Maniac (and yes, I paid In-Game!Maniac the necessary royalties).

Mr. God looked at ExTha and Reg. Then at the audience. He sighed and summoned me. Myself and God chatted for a little in low whispers, discussing things such as UCA and the identity of the Rally Man, but mostly the current situation. Eventually, something was decided and I teleported out of the room and out of the story.

Mr. God sighed again. "Sorry, guys, but I'm kind of in a bind here."
"No." said Reg.
"NO!" exclaimed ExTha.
"Yes. Sorry!"
Mr. God clicked his fingers and suddenly ExTha and Reg were back in the city, which had been completely restored.
Reg's swordarm was fixed. The hole in ExTha's stomach - gone. Excalibur was fully powered, including the Tebow magic it had received.

"We won't kill each other," said ExTha.
Mr. God sighed. "Then I will kill both of you, then your families, and everyone on your planet."
"...that seems excessive."
"Well, yeah, but better than the audience being pissed off."
Reg screamed in fury.
"Alright, then. Sorry, ExTha. Let's do this?"
"Why are you apologizing to me? You're going to die, after all." ExTha cast all thoughts of Reg as an ally from his mind. He would face death in a Tebow-styled way.
There was a pause as tumbleweed blew by to ramp up the awesomeness of this final duel.

"By the way Reg," said ExTha, "I was the one who killed your parents."
"That doesn't make sense."
"I know, I just wanted to say that."

Reg and ExTha screamed as they launched into each other with everything they had.

NEXT TIME: THE ABSOLUTE ABSOLUTE ABSOLUTE I REALLY MEAN IT THIS TIME FINAL CHAPTER

--
fighting racism

43 MINUTES

UNTIL THE FINAL CHAPTER OF B8B2

--
"whats a matter afried i might boobs punch you" - ertyu

can I tag now

--
Boko United - Geriatric Titanium Mustache
Guru Taken Miraculously by SuperNiceDog

tag

--
XBL GT: Demon Ninja X2
"There comes a time in every man's or woman's life where they have to make **** up to cover their ass." - Hazama

I hope the final chapter is presented by Wade Barrett

--
Boko United - Geriatric Titanium Mustache
Guru Taken Miraculously by SuperNiceDog

From: GTM | #082
I hope the final chapter is presented by Wade Barrett
!

--
http://i974.photobucket.com/albums/ae221/GenesisSaga/XIIIAndManny.jpg

THE FINAL CHAPTER

ExTha's forearms clashed with Excalibur. Normally the person clashing with Excalibur would be completely cut apart, and then destroyed and burned, but ExTha's almost fully-charged Tebow magic was more than enough to provide stern resistance. So what actually happened was actually different; a minor explosion, causing both of them to be sent flying backwards. ExTha was fine; Excalibur bore the brunt of it for Reg, though Reg still took a few burns on his arms and legs and his ears were ringing.

He was given precious little time to recover though because ExTha quickly teleported down the street to him. He used his weird magic to try to teleport Reg into literal hell, but Excalibur prevented it, possibly because the Excalibur was imbued with a small amount of Tebow magic itself.

ExTha growled; Reg grinned. Then Reg remembered something. "Before we continue, what happened to Barkley?"
"I took him with me. He should still be in Mr. God's office."
"Oh cool."
"Yeah, I THOUGHT SO," ExTha screamed as he hit Reg with a running punt as Reg tried to get to his feet (Reg had previously attempted a kip-up, but he's not The f***ing Rock - he looked rather like a fish out of water as he did it, and had settled for a normal rise).

Reg was mildly concussed, but most importantly sent flying across the city. However, the zealous ExTha wasn't about to let Reg escape so easily - he teleported to Reg as he was in mid-air and punched him into the ground. Reg hurtled towards the ground at massive speed. He would surely have died, but he thrust Excalibur in front of him to bear the brunt of the fall.

However that is all Reg was doing; bearing brunts. ExTha was overpowering him and Excalibur was the only thing keeping him in the fight.

Reg swung his sword around him wildly and he scored a lucky, glancing blow on ExTha's neck. He yelled in anger and lost a little bit of his power. Reg swung again but ExTha had already teleported into the sky, now firing bolts of godly lightning at ExTha because for the sake of this story Tebow is essentially Zeus.

The lightning rained down on Reg and it was all he could do to repel them, bouncing them back at ExTha. Some of the lightning bolts hit each other, setting all that was around it on fire. And no, Maniac and Dewott have both been Killed Off For Real, so there's no chance of them returning to put it out XFD OBVIOUSLY LYING. They both turned up to try and extinguish the fire.

Two bolts found their target. One hit Reg in the foot, another hit ExTha square in the head. ExTha lost power, and, thus, feet and yards. He fell down, stumbling through the air as if drunk.

Reg used this opportunity to jump into the air, his leap enhanced by the heavy sword rather than hindered by it, and swing at ExTha. ExTha ducked the would-be decapitating blow just in time, but Reg followed through with a jumping kick that hit ExTha in a sensitive area. He flew through several buildings, causing ALL OF THEM TO COLLAPSE. Godless whores in other dimensions screamed as ExTha's tumbling, high-velocity flight caused a chain-reaction affect that saw most of the buildings in the city collapse around him. Multiple pieces of rubble, glass, and metal scratched and clawed at ExTha's skin, causing his power to dribble out of him - he could no longer teleport.

Reg had never been able to teleport either, and so the two spent roughly a week and a half looking for each other. The city had once again been reduced to rubble, though it wasn't quite as aggressively on fire.

Suddenly a tornado came out of nowhere. It carried a car, and then it caught Reg, then ExTha. They swirled insanely through the vortex, and yelled out in shock as they saw each other - it being the first time in 10 days.

--
k

They struck out at each other hungrily, each wanting to end this thing once and for all, but neither could quite do it. ExTha's Tebow-powered fists could not penetrate the amazing defence of Reg and Excalibur and Excalibur's vicious blows could well decapitate even ExTha, so ExTha had to constantly be aware of that threat.

Of course, the fight was causing some almost reality-bending explosions, which only meant that the tornado increased in size, speed and power.

The two of them whirled madly, crazily, as they attempted to land a decisive blow, but they only exacerbated the problem, making it harder for each other. They were in the tornado for roughly a year, by which time it had destroyed not only the city but the entire fake country/reality they had inhabited. It was simply a wasteland, with rubble and fire covering hundreds of miles of square feet. Maniac and Dewott were also caught up in it, but were rather enjoying the eternal ride.

Reg and ExTha, however, were not, and Reg appealed to the one entity that could cease this madness.

"Mr. God!" yelled Reg above the roar of the tornado. "Stop this!"
Mr. God, sick of having watched them for days on end, agreed, snapping his fingers again. The tornado stopped and Reg and ExTha tumbled into each other, hurtling through the air. They hit the ground and bounced a few times, eventually landing on the very edge of the reality Minio had created.

They each stood up, about 10 feet from each other. They stared each other down.

"Can we please just finish this now?" asked Reg.
"Sure." Then ExTha used what little Tebow magic he had to tickle Reg's arm with some nearby dust.
Reg laughed. He couldn't help it. More importantly, however, he released his grip on Excalibur. He didn't drop it, though. ExTha was advancing on him with his hammer-like fists, looking to break the connection. It was the one thing he could do to end this.

Reg suddenly fought back the tickling sensation and struck at ExTha, almost decapitating him - the head was half-on, half-off. However, Reg's grip had been loosened and the sword flew out of his hand and off the edge of reality, spinning away into the infinite nothingness. Reg instantly powered down, becoming a very mundane human once again. ExTha gave a grotesque, lopsided grin in his head-half-on, head-half-off state. He had Reg now. He just had to remove Reg's head from his body with his superior strength.

Reg, helpless and suddenly exhausted, watched almost in slow motion. His foe reached out for the stunned, vulnerable Reg and grabbed his head. Reg felt the hands, arms, wrists, tense up, ready to literally puill his head off.

ExTha grin became even wider, relishing the end of this long duel.

Then his head fell off.

Reg didn't know this but ExTha's triumphant grins had been stretching, unbalancing his head, forcing the huge cut in his neck to increase even more. The final, widest grin, had caused the neck to become irredeemably torn, and thus the head had almost peeled off. Most elaborate decapitation death ever? You bet.

WINNER (FOR REAL REAL REAL THIS TIME, SERIOUSLY THIS HAS BEEN GOING FOR SIX MONTHS AND I'M JUST GLAD I FINALLY FINISHED IT) REG

--
"The great fallacy is that the game is first and foremost about winning. It's nothing of the kind. The game is about glory." - Danny Blanchflower

EPILOGUE

"Panthera..." Reg coughed. "That was for you."

ExTha's disembodied head spoke as reality began to fold. "Congrats, Reg. Bring BBallman back for me, OK? And say sorry. It was instinct, what I did."
Reg nodded, no strength left to speak.

Reg, exhaused, was instantly teleported back to Mr. God's office. Barkley was there, and had been powered up by Mr. God.

"Well that was unnecessarily long," said Mr. God. "Anyway, here's the full billion XIII funbucks."
"Thanks," said Reg, almost without expression. "Can you do one more thing for me?"
"It's not really your place to ask, but yes, of course I'll bring back BBallman."
"...How did you know I would ask that?"
"Dude, I'm literally god." Mr. God clicked his fingers and BBallman appeared.

"Hi!" said, the basketball, bouncing around. "Where are we?"
"Mr. God's office," said Reg. "I won the game."
"Oh, congrats. Did we kill Minio and that sword thing?"
"Yes. ExTha said to bring you back before he died. He apologized for punting you to another universe."
"np," shrugged the basketball, somehow.

"Next," said Mr. God. "I'm going to do THIS!" he clicked his fingers again and Barkley sprang back to life.
"Oh yay," said Barkley mechanically. "But without Caelus, my life is point-"
"Done." Mr. God drank some whiskey and then reincarnated Caelus, in the physical form of Charles Barkley but with Caelus' personality.
"Huh. Well, this is cool," said Caelus Barkley.
"And this...is good for me," said BBallman.
"Oh yeah. You ARE a basketball."

"See, my ways are so subtle and brilliant," said Mr. God. "You three could start a sitcom together or something."

So tune in next time on XIII's wacky stories for the adventures of Caelus-in-the-physical-form-of-Charles-Barkley, Charles Barkley the cybernetic war-elk, and BBallman the basketball who is also infused with the very essence of ~CHAOS~
(not really I'm done with writing for a long time now probably)

"Thanks, Mr. God. I guess I'll go continue my knightly ways."
"Sure. I'm sorry for what happened to Panthera, by the way. The chances of you BOTH being in the game were ridiculous."
Reg sighed. "It's fine. I can find a new purpose now. Maybe shoot that sitcom with Barkley and Caelus and everyone."
"Cool. You'll wake up in your bed."

Then, as a reward to myself for finishing this story, I stabbed Mr. God in the back and became Mr. God. XIII God. Yes, that is me. I'm god, now. This is my ego on drugs.

Also, Maniac.
*pays royalties to the dead Maniac*

THE END

--
"I wish I was French." - blindhobo13
"I don't think you know what "French" means." - As I Desire

WINNER

Reg (Excalibur)

Dead: 51

Colegreen_c12 (Bomb): Ambushed by RX7
MZero11 (Skateboard): Testes ripped off by Plum's Tough Beetle
tyder21 (sandpaper): Impaled by Robazoid
AfroSquirrel (pocketful of Portable holes): Decapitated by GenSag's Dewott's Shell Blade
BBallman7 (Magnum and Morningstar): Head blown off by JeffreyRaze
GrapeFruitKing (Nail Gun): Strangled to death by vcharon's flag
Han (Blaster): Decapitated by Dante Brogue Kick
bbbtime (Acid Gun): Slipped on dowolf banana peel; head melted off by own acid
MysteriousStan (Oddjob's top hat): Lightning from the Master Sword hit him, accidentally decapitated himself with hat
Emporer_Kazbar (fake can of peanuts w/ spring snakes): Distracted by MWC's head exploding, ran through by fdr's sword
dowolf (Banana peel launcher): Crushed by collapsing rubble when Blairville swung the longsword
Blairville (loooongsword): Choked to death by ngirl while being offensively chanted at
Robazoid (spear): BBallman landed on him from a second-story window, decapitated him
azuarc (pogo stick w/ blades under foot pegs and light enough to be swung): Blown up by Caelus' war-elk
RX7InfinitiIII (Dual Hidden Blades): Killed by a stray bullet from SpeedYoshi
Nee (pear scented anti-bacterial hand soap): Stabbed through head from behind by Niowrath
Dante (Standard Def. TV set): Stabbed by Mad Bellis
Sir Chris (Scum Sir Chris' cunning/ruthlessness): Stabbed by Mad Bellis
Ed Bellis (saveus_Maria's knife from b8b1): Talked out of Mad Bellis mode by Occam's Razor logic, stabbed with his own knife
Chronic (Revolver/Machete): Shot in the face by mcflubbin after Jedi assistance
mcflubbin (bow/arrow): Head destroyed by MSG
Haguile (BBallman holding a grudge): Choked to death by GTM's title
GTM (UCA Melee Mayhem Title): Decapitated by CO's handaxes
todbot (people): Incinerated by Arcanine
GenesisSaga (Dewott/Arcanine): Wedge used portal gun and tricked Arcanine into hitting her w/ flamethrower
SpeedYoshi (2 Golden Guns): Weapon colliding with GANON's caused explosion
GANON (Midas Glove): Weapon colliding with SpeedYoshi's caused explosion
cody (Omega Quack-O-Blitzer): Destroyed by rogue ducknix
Psycho_Kenshin (Lawgiver): Head melted off by PK2000's pocket sand
CrimsonOcean (Handaxes): Killed by Maria's knife and bartz's phallus
Kingbartz (Giant Phallus): Blown up by JeffRaze detonating the bomb set by Colegreen
saveus_maria (Occam's Razor): Shot in the face by the passing JeffRaze
firefdr (MWC-ified Master Sword): Decapitated from behind by Panth, during fight with Reg
Wigs (Boombox, plays nothing but Phil Collins): Stabbed in the back by Pram
Pirateking2000 (Sandwich/Pocket Sand): Fell through a Wedge portal set on a high building
vcharon (American Flag): Head broken by plum's tough beetle
Ayvuir (Katana): ngirl sliced his head off with his own katana
Cobain (Lightsabers): So dead
eddv (Lawndarts): Exploded by MSG falling on him Apoca-Fists first
JeffRaze (Magnum/Riot Shield): Killed by a Speed Force-Boosted BBallman7
Silverliner182V (GameFAQs Flash): Accidentally destroyed when MSG fell through one of Wedges' Portals
MSG (Apoca-Fists): Sent to hell by ExTha
ngirl (Newcastle Shirt/offensive chants): Face melted by ExTha
Panthera (Frying pan): Landed on by oversized Regaro
Caelus (Charles Barkley, Cybernetic War-Elk): Head ripped off by tough beetle
masterplum (Tough Beetle): Beetle destroyed by Niowrath, then sliced by Niowrath and blown up by ExTha
Pram (Caladbolg): Beaten by Reg in duel to the death
Wedge (Portal Gun): Blown up by one of Charles Barkley's Grenades that ExTha could not throw
Raka (Hannah Montana Guitar): See above
Reg (Excalibur): Arm sliced off by Comm, thrown into heavy supply boxes and crushed
Nio (Niowrath): Killed by Comm channelling ExTha's power
ExTha (Tebow's 4th quarter magic): Decapitated by Reg

--
Glad that's over.

-B8B will probably be at the end of the year or something
-Updates will never be longer than a single post and may not always contain a kill, but will be far far far more frequent.
-BTW every time I break the 4th wall that's me getting lazy and bored
-I tried to dial down the crazy in this thing. Didn't work!
-Like I said, I'm just glad this is finally over now. Thanks to the few people who are still reading this thing
-Join UCA

--
"oh my god oh my god a spider just crawled INTO MY KEYBOARD" -pxlated
"It just wants some web access." - Ness26

did not expect this to ever end

--
Don't worry guys, I have all the clubs

so congrats on that!

--
Don't worry guys, I have all the clubs

:)

--
I never said anything about banging her. Also, I wouldn't bang her. -LusterSoldier (on a fat pageant mom whose daughter chugs Mt. Dew)

It's gonna be weird not having that nagging feeling of "...man I really should write some b8b2"

--
http://img.imgcake.com/Xiiijpgen.jpg - Me, as drawn by Ayvuir (who is also a giant douche)

is this on the wiki?

I put it on there a little while ago

--
"I am the best in the world at everything I do, and I don't have to write it on the back of a T-Shirt to prove it, because I AM it." - Chris Jericho

I better still be Boko United Champion in 6 months so I can use that for my weapon

--
Boko United - Geriatric Titanium Mustache
Guru Taken Miraculously by SuperNiceDog

Excellent ending. Glad I caught this, given that I was camping a purge seemed all too likely.

--
MMBN style fighting game made by me in the link below!
http://sandbox.yoyogames.com/games/184947-b8bn

up

thanks dudes

--
http://img.imgcake.com/22763810150194882301443717534644274676943735581nmu.jpg

Dewott lives.

Best ending. Oh and other stuff that I didn't care as much about also happened.

Grats Reg. And thanks for finishing this, XIII. You still suck, but not as much as I thought! ;)

--
Fennec... :3
http://fennecfox.biz/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Fennec-Fox-Having-Fun.jpg

Up

--
XIII_rocks, the cream of XIII fanboyism.