Board 8 > $@11- Post Here and Maria Will Transform You Into a Fictional Character ~@@!~~$$

(+) Yeah! (+)

with write ups
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Hi
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Thanks Maria.
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sup
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Yea sure
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K
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sure thing
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oh no
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ok
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Why not?
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VeryInsane posted...

Hi

You have been transformed into Braun James III, a freedom fighter from the vertigo comic series Society / Over. After the nuclear fallout of a diplomatic crisis in 2042, the remaining humans on Earth are left to rebuild from the ashes. While some believe this is a chance for humanity to start over and build a world which is founded on virtuous ideals there are others who disagree.



Is there a place for absolute freedom when your neighbor seeks the freedom to murder you and steal all your shit? The harsh reality of life sets in as survivalists are pitted against thugs who wish to seize the means of production and become kings in this new world. For some reason there are a lot of french villains in this series, so it's possible that the author was just racist against French people.

There's a great clip from the Bruce Timm cartoon adaptation where a guy yells "It's le Braun James!" which was later repurposed to play over highlights of NBA clips and upload them on youtube. Interestingly Braun was not the main character of the comics, which were more of an anthology, but he was used as the main character for the cartoon.
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Maria <3
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Wait since when did you actually come back to board 8

Well that's a nice return
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yo
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psaltery posted...

Thanks Maria.

You have been transformed into Percivius Marcorum Dilentius, a Knight Captain who appears early on in a certain niche fantasy novel series. Percivius is the head of an order of Crusaders who wishes to reclaim the Holy Knight Capital which had been completely sacked and overrun by barbarians nearly a decade ago. The main character of the novel joins the Crusaders and finds himself catching the attention of Percivius, who he looks up to as a mentor.



Things quickly go sour when it is found that the Holy Knight Capital has become a home to foul monsters unlike any seen before in this world. Percivius discovers the startling truth -- the barbarians were mere useful idiots who had been taken advantage of by interdimensional blood wizard pedophile vampires. He is promptly eaten by an inside out dragon, a gross monster with its organs on the outside. After this shocking twist death the main character discovers that he is actually a half vampire with special blood magic of his own, but the series quickly goes to shit after this.

Most people find it's not worth discussing.
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I missed these
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MariaTaylor posted...

psaltery posted...

Thanks Maria.

You have been transformed into Percivius Marcorum Dilentius, a Knight Captain who appears early on in a certain niche fantasy novel series. Percivius is the head of an order of Crusaders who wishes to reclaim the Holy Knight Capital which had been completely sacked and overrun by barbarians nearly a decade ago. The main character of the novel joins the Crusaders and finds himself catching the attention of Percivius, who he looks up to as a mentor.



Things quickly go sour when it is found that the Holy Knight Capital has become a home to foul monsters unlike any seen before in this world. Percivius discovers the startling truth -- the barbarians were mere useful idiots who had been taken advantage of by interdimensional blood wizard pedophile vampires. He is promptly eaten by an inside out dragon, a gross monster with its organs on the outside. After this shocking twist death the main character discovers that he is actually a half vampire with special blood magic of his own, but the series quickly goes to shit after this.

Most people find it's not worth discussing.

You're awesome Maria. I was just thinking about the Crusades myself.
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Sure
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Cool!
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oh ok
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Yes please!
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Oh hey neat
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Oh boy
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Okay, I'm interested.
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Sweet
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I can't see this going awry at all.
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Hi Maria, how are you?
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okay
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KanzarisKelshen posted...

sup

You have become Kanna-chan, also known as Happy-chan, a character who was the mascot of cereal brand Happy Charms for about a week. Although she appears innocent there is actually a dark and hilarious history behind the Happy-chan mascot. This is something one will quickly learn if they take the time to google "Where did Happy-chan go?" or "Why isn't Happy-chan the mascot anymore?"



As part of an outreach program by the Happy Charms marketing team they came up with the brilliant idea in 2019 to post an online poll where users could submit art and vote on their own choices for the new mascot. It goes, almost without saying, that members of some anonymous message boards caught wind of this campaign and focused their efforts on getting the most offensive character they could under the radar. Kanna-chan was chosen because of both her innocent looking appearance (nobody would bother to check before putting her all over cereal boxes) and also the insane juxtaposition of her actual source material. Users were shocked when the plan actually worked.

Kanna-chan, known better as Kanazuki Kaori, is a sadistic dominatrix from a japanese eroge. That's a porn-based visual novel. To add to the insanity she comes from a series titled 'I Can't Believe I Became the Sub Slave of a Reincarnated Genderswapped Dictator?!' Needless to say Happy Charms was forced to cut all ties and pretend this never happened after all these facts came to light. For those curious, Kanazuki is the reincarnation of Kim-Jong Un. She is an 8th Level Omniscient Being who was born riding a unicorn out of her mother's womb. Her mother then exploded. Legend has it that Kanazuki single-handedly destroyed the corrupt Eagle Country and saved the world from capitalism by breathing fire across the ocean. All hail Glorious Leader Happy-Chan!
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Post

...Alllrighty...
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I couldn't be happier with the character I got

A++ choice, thank you kindly
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Bane_Of_Despair posted...

Yea sure

You have been transformed into Bane of Despair, without underscores. You are a sentient magic weapon with a sinister sounding name but actually good intentions. This world is filled with despair, but your ultimate aim is to seek out all the sources of despair and eliminate them. Ultimately your goal is to improve the lives of humans and make the kingdom of Renhaldt a better place.



Bane can change its shape at will between any form of weapon that it desires. It is currently wielded by the daughter of the legendary hero, Loroto, and the witch Calificant. It was briefly in possession of an evil warlord, but Bane transformed itself into a spear and impaled him. Heh. Loroto's daughter has rejected the witch blood that flows through her veins and dedicated herself to enforcing justice and protecting the innocent. Bane thinks she is pretty okay.

Originally, Bane of Despair was a wizard's apprentice. However, he cannot remember what his name was or even where he came from. All he remembers was, like, experimenting with methods to grant himself eternal life. And then accidentally turned himself into a weapon. Whoops.
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Oh shit that's super fuckin badass
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Regaro posted...

Wait since when did you actually come back to board 8

not too long ago

Tom Bombadil posted...

I missed these

I missed doing stuff like this too! I am a content creator at heart. and really where the hell else do I post this kind of content that people actually want to look at it?

mcflubbin posted...

Hi Maria, how are you?

prettttyyyy good

KanzarisKelshen posted...

I couldn't be happier with the character I got

A++ choice, thank you kindly

glad you like it. it's my favorite one so far as well.

Bane_Of_Despair posted...

Oh shit that's super fuckin badass

heh. you have the honor of being the first one who wasn't transformed into some kind of joke/twist/punchline.



this is actually just a stealth 2 AM bump to catch the insomniac crowd.

I'll do more of these tomorrow!
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ok
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Ok
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Maria~

I just met a user named Maria~
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profDEADPOOL posted...

K

You have become Wade Winchester a rich playboy from the novel One Shade of Gray. It's a less ambiguous take on the whole sadistic, stalker boyfriend smut novel thing. In fact -- this is intentionally written as a horror story. What happens when you slowly remove the boundaries between good and bad, or the "shades of gray" between black and white? Well, eventually you're left with a guy like Wade.



Wade is not actually rich. He spent all of his inheritance money on expensive plastic surgery to make himself handsome. He now distracts himself on trivial pursuits of the flesh. Namely setting up elaborate ruses in order to convince women that he does still have an immense fortune so that they will let him carry out his wildest and most twisted sexual fantasies. However, his true joy comes from exposing the hypocrisy of the creatures that he tortures -- he will first admit that he is not actually handsome and that he has undergone plastic surgery. Most of the women will say this is fine and they don't care what he looks like because they are in love with him. Then he admits he is actually broke and they bail. I guess love isn't enough to overcome being broke, huh.

After a ton of pointless sex scenes, psychological and emotional manipulation, the story eventually goes somewhere. Wade meets a girl named Karsi who professes to love him for who he is, even after she learns that he is broke. This does not make Wade happy but actually make him even more infuriated. In his mind this is a sign that Karsi is a good person and that means what he has been doing is actually bad. Seeing himself as a bad person, Wade decides he needs to destroy Karsi anyway like all of the others. The novel anticlimactically ends with Wade getting him by a car while trying to chase her across the road. I suppose he should have looked both ways.
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ok
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th3l3fty posted...

sure thing

You are Grouch the companion dog. Your master, Ocarina, is a high school girl who must simultaneously plan a school festival as well as discover who her secret admirer is. You are classified as a Helper Dog who is allowed to stay with Ocarina at all times. This is a satisfactory explanation for why a dog is wandering around the school all the time.



Grouch has the unique ability to track the scent of people in the school, as well as determining which students have touched specific objects. This can be very useful in order to track down the secret admirer. Although it's not so helpful for planning a school festival. The game has various different endings based on which festival activity was chosen (Cafe, Haunted House, or Games), whether the festival activity was planned successfully, and whether the admirer was identified correctly. Identifying the wrong admirer is an option as well. Grouch truly holds an immense power in those paws.

Because Ocarina talks to Grouch and seems to understand the speech of a dog it seems very likely that she suffers from extreme delusional psychosis.
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lefty scores big
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Aww I got here late
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GANON1025 posted...

ok

You have been transformed into Gash Brokenfist, the tyrant of Shiralreich. The kingdom in which Gash was born had a peace between humans and orcs which had lasted for nearly four generations. This truce, however, was only built upon the fact that humans had the technology to survive in the cold wasteland of Shiralreich and the Orcs played nice or died in the snow. That shit had to stop.



Before long the Southern Terrors returned to their world. Legends had warned against the mountains of the south -- never to go there. The humans thought if they obeyed this rule they would be safe. But the truth is that they were not prepared when the enemy finally came for them. Gash was opportunistic enough to see this as his chance. Human society would be destroyed and Orcs would rise from the ashes. And if his plan failed, so what? They were all doomed anyway.

Gash was able to convince the Humans to share their technology with Orcs so that the Brokenfist Clan and others might help them fight. Once the Terrors had been repelled, Gash and his comrades immediately turned their blades upon the Humans and destroyed the kingdom of Shiralreich. He united all of the Orcish clans under one banner for the first time in memory. After waging a campaign over the southern mountains he found sprawling ruins of human and other societies that stretched on as far as the eye could see.

Wandering through these crumbling skyscrapers and looking upon what had been left behind, Gash realized something important; Culture, Art, Music... All of that stuff was totally pointless. Even as grand as this world had been it had fallen to the Southern Terror. The only thing that mattered was strength. But the enemy soon returned in even greater numbers, and any attempt to fight was doomed and hopeless. Gash made peace with his death. Orcs alone made it to the finish line while Humans had stumbled and perished.
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post

got a bunch of good ones coming up!
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i was robbed
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Oooh...
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Yessss
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