Board 8 > All-Purpose Wrestling Topic 400: The Ultimate Shill Ride

(+) Yeah! (+)

Has WWE sold you on Wrestlemania: Sunshine yet?
Are you gonna spend $500+ on PPV like a moron, instead of getting it free on the WWE Network?
Does our clash of Goldberg/Brock Lesnar excite you?
How about our other 50 "main events" or multi-person matches?
Will you love us if we put Joe, Balor, or Nakamura on the card?

PLEASE BUY OUR s***! Vince needs a new plane!
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http://botchedspot.com/blog/comic/wrestlemania-ultimate-thrill-ride/
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I wonder if the thrill ride includes getting New Day riding a car to the ring in FFXV cosplay. That would redeem the whole damn thing.
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So I am watching Havoc 98. How bad is Scott Halls drinking problem to this point?
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So there is no f***ing way Goldberg couldn't do a match like this DDP match. Especially because Brock isn't going to move as fast as DDP I mean this is just fast paced wrestling basics.
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yeah Mania feels kind of forced to me right now, more interested in what may come through after Mania when they can reset
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bliss
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Strife2 posted...

What the f*** kind of promotion is that, and why have I never watched it before? That was hilarious.

That my friend is CHIKARA. And you should go watch it because it is indeed awesome and hilarious.

CHIKARAtopia gives a free week to give it a try and gives you almost every show in the company's history with new shows being added around a month after they occur.


And Eaed. You could watch Goldberg vs Regal if you want to see Regal stiffing Goldberg and trying to not get taken out by the Spear (it actually ends up being a decent little match).
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I'm prepared to declare whether I hate this PPV or not entirely on if Bray beats Orton or loses and continues to be booked like a chump when he could have been the new Undertaker
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I'm prepared to declare I hate this PPV on general principle because hey, why not?
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....how much are they charging to buy the PPV if you don't want to go through the Network:?
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I believe 65
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I still can't believe they are actually wasting AJ Styles on Shane McMahon.

They won't make him lose right? Right?
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muddersmilk posted...

I still can't believe they are actually wasting AJ Styles on Shane McMahon.

They won't make him lose right? Right?

http://img.bleacherreport.net/img/images/photos/002/693/735/Barrett_crop_north.jpg?h=533&w=800&q=70&crop_x=center&crop_y=top
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They apparently wanted Shawn Michaels but he said no, Shane was plan B
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muddersmilk posted...

I still can't believe they are actually wasting AJ Styles on Shane McMahon.

They won't make him lose right? Right?

I have come into every WWE PPV in the past 3 years with a negative outlook, and I wouldn't be at all surprised if AJ, Taker and Rollins all lost to their respective opponents.
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So would they send the crowd home with a 'heel' winning.

Because of as right now, in all three 'main events' I see the heel winning. Roman > Taker, Brock > Goldberg, Bray > Orton
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Yeah but in the magical land of Vince's dementia, Roman retiring Undertaker to thunderous boos will make him the biggest face ever
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eaedwards6400 posted...

Bray >

there's your problem
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It would be so f***ing odd for Bray to beat Cena clean, then beat AJ for the title, then beat Cena again, then job to f***ing Orton so it will of course be what happens
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Bray Wyatt is making a big deal about how he's now more powerful than ever before

So he's obviously going to lose!
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DeathChicken posted...

Yeah but in the magical land of Vince's dementia, Roman retiring Undertaker to thunderous boos will make him the biggest face ever

This is the answer btw

Roman goes on last
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DeathChicken posted...

They apparently wanted Shawn Michaels but he said no, Shane was plan B

That is a horrible Plan B.

Especially when Plan A is so unlikely to happen.
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DeathChicken posted...

It would be so f***ing odd for Bray to beat Cena clean, then beat AJ for the title, then beat Cena again, then job to f***ing Orton so it will of course be what happens

To play devil's advocate here (how ironic), Orton has a psychological edge that neither of them had. It's not just straight up A > B > C > D > A
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I more mean in the sense of suddenly putting him over what amounts to the tippy top of the card in rapid succession, only to just have him lose and be back to where he started.
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Ideally he would have a new direction after being so utterly manipulated and then beaten physically as well.

People have beaten him before, and people have outwitted him before, but never both.

It should honestly lead to an entire new outlook for the character
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Yeah Orton should win for storytelling. Honestly see Bray overcoming as the worse result there.

Still think Roman/Taker MEs though.
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Probably even should take some time off after

Make people start to wonder when he's coming back and how is he going to be changed by this experience, so that it means something big when he does return.

Just don't do like TNA did with Bully Ray after Aces and Eights fell and turn him into Raven <_<
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So I decided to make a tiered list of who I think WWE would actually sign and for what purpose they would sign them should they buy out Ring of Honor with its contracts:

Main Roster Tier:
Jeff Hardy - It's guaranteed. He'll stay here until he fades away and classifies himself as obsolete.
Matt Hardy - Sadly, he's only coming because he's a package deal with Jeff. Not because they necessarily want him.
Adam Cole - No secret that they see big things in this guy, babay.
Dalton Castle - I think once Vince sees him in NXT, he goes to RAW and Santinos the f*** out.
Hanson - WWE would probably love to have big fat dudes as a tag team. MASTODONS!
Raymond Rowe - MASTODONS!
Bully Ray - It was left open-ended for him to return, and it sounded like they were actually open to a true Bully Ray debut still.
Chris Sabin - He's a better looking Dean Ambrose and I could see them wanting to bring him in as a midcard guy.
Matt Jackson - I think as soon as the Young Bucks go to NXT, they'll be on the way to the main roster.
Nick Jackson - See above.

NXT Tier:
Bobby Fish - There has been interest expressed on both sides, but I don't know if they would take him to the main roster. Probably a Trips' wishlister.
Marty Scurll - Trips will definitely want him in his William Regals Only division.
Lio Rush - I could see them pulling him in and maybe even putting him on 205 Live.
Alex Shelley - They might bring him in to Dilling in the way that Tye does.
Colt Cabana - I could see them possibly POSSIBLY POS-SI-BLY bringing him in as a Kassius Foe-No or even a commentary guy once Tommy P facef***s his way to the top.
Punishment Martinez - There's a slight chance that Triple H wants a guy like this.
Will Ferrara - Another guy I could possibly see in NXT, but seems remote.

Women We Might Pick Up for the Women's Tournament:
Deonna Purazzo - We know her, we liked her, we'd bring her back.
Mandy Leon - Another girl they've seen before that could come back.
Kelly Klein - Maybe? Not sure.
Taeler Hendrix - Someone there thinks she's fat, so that will probably total her chances.

We Need Even MORE Trainers Tier:
Christopher Daniels - Now is the time to have him make a transition to the PC if he has interest in it.
BJ Whitmer - If they were to pick him up, this is the only real role for him.

Escaping to NEW JAPAN PRO WRESTLING Tier:
Baretta - Rapongi.
Rocky Romero - Rapongi Vice.
Cody - He's there as soon as humanly possible once ROH dies.
Will Ospreay - Another guy who has no reason to go to WWE.
Jay Briscoe - Since WWE seems to hate the Briscoes for random minor comments from years ago, NJPW would be happy to keep them on retainer.
Mark Briscoe - The vastly superior Briscoe will go with his more popular bro.
Hangman Page - He's Bullet Club for reasons passing human understanding.
Cheeseburger - Liger will bring in his boy.
Jay Lethal - I could see him possibly becoming an indies staple, not sure how much NJPW would be interested in him. They've used him, sure, but they're higher on other guys.
Frankie Kazarian - I could see him making his way to New Japan if they would take him.
Jay White - He's a youngboy.

KThxBye Tier:
Reby Hardy - Sort of a wildcard; would they want a manager for Matt? Maybe, but it's unlikely.
Matt Taven - Just don't see a place for him in any of the big companies right now.
Silas Young - Talented guy who probably has no easy outlet for a moderately reliable paycheck.
Caprice Coleman - Nope.
Kenny King - Probably slightly less appealing than Coleman to them.
Rhett TItus - The least appealing of the worst gimmick of 2016.
Delirious - Ha, right.
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Lio Rush left ROH
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Jeez when did that happen?
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eaedwards6400 posted...

So there is no f***ing way Goldberg couldn't do a match like this DDP match. Especially because Brock isn't going to move as fast as DDP I mean this is just fast paced wrestling basics.

Goldberg's match with DDP at Halloween Havoc is without question one of the best (and few good) matches of his career. Honorable mention to his brawl with Scott Steiner at Fall Brawl 2000, which is mostly good until Vince Russo and Midajah get involved.

eaedwards6400 posted...

So would they send the crowd home with a 'heel' winning.

They've done it the last two years! >_> (sort of)
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What I want, more than anything, is just another beautiful moment like when Daniel Bryan won. But I don't think we'll ever get that, because when that happened it felt like WWE was giving the fans that they wanted and working with us. Nowadays it just really feels like WWE is working against the fans.
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They're giving me what I want. More reasons to watch NEW JAPAN PRO WRESTLING.
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for what it's worth, Kyle O'Reilly is set to be in EVOLVE again soon.
i assume he's on the short list to go to NXT, possibly teaming with Fish again in there.
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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

What I want, more than anything, is just another beautiful moment like when Daniel Bryan won. But I don't think we'll ever get that, because when that happened it felt like WWE was giving the fans that they wanted and working with us. Nowadays it just really feels like WWE is working against the fans.

I understand not wanting to give the fans everything (which goes against the feel good catharsis of seeing it pan out), but they really do aspire to just stay the course all the time. I will say they are at least more open to change. Balor and Owens being the first Universal Champions, rather than pawning off Rollins and Reigns, was SOMETHING different. It just flies in the face of 7-8 times out of ten where they don't.
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Working against the fans...

They have signed everyone the fans have ever wanted.

What more could you possibly want.

They even signed people based off a few gifs.

So f***ing entitled
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honestly, outside of roman wwe has been extremely fan favorite.
you can seriously trace 90% of the stupid s*** wwe has done against fans in the past 2-3 years to just "roman reigns."
they made AJ Styles the flagbearer of one of their two shows in a time when SD was going through massive change.

i can't hate on wwe for that.
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I think giving the fans what they want would involve not shoving Stephanie down our throats for 45 minutes every week.
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45mins out of what 8 hours of content featuring a loooot of people you all like.

She's not on nxt, smack down, talking smack, 205 live, or involved in the great marches themselves.

If Kevin Owens vs jericho turned into Stephanie only content, sure I'd be mad, but wwe pumps out so much quality content that her influence is diluted.
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voltch posted...

Working against the fans...

They have signed everyone the fans have ever wanted.

What more could you possibly want.

They even signed people based off a few gifs.

So f***ing entitled

That sounds more like working in self-interest.
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voltch posted...

45mins out of what 8 hours of content featuring a loooot of people you all like.

She's not on nxt, smack down, talking smack, 205 live, or involved in the great marches themselves.

If Kevin Owens vs jericho turned into Stephanie only content, sure I'd be mad, but wwe pumps out so much quality content that her influence is diluted.

NXT, Talking Smack and 205 Live aren't on regular TV and it's a super-minor subset of people who watch it. If I'm a casual fan, I'm turning off the TV every time she comes on.

And guess what? THE RATINGS BARED THAT OUT THIS WEEK. Foley's firing segment and the subsequent Stephanie shenanigans so massive ratings drops. During those segments, no less.
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WWE's big 3 to 4day events are now bigger than ever, they make more off the superfans than ever.

The hardcore super smarks are giving them the go ahead that proves what they are doing is right.

You can complain about a couple of angles, but the general entity has produced nearly everything you like about wrestling.

If it didn't you would be seeking an alternative which now no longer exists.
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honestly that just plays to the fact that THE AUTHORITY went from somewhat useful to incredibly stale to now just dumb s*** every week.

like i'm not sure there's a rub to get out of anyone who "DESTROYS THE AUTHORITY." that's done. the closest i can think of is someone like Zayn but that's due to getting a win over HHH, not due to the angle at all.
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But I do seek an alternative.

NEW JAPAN PRO WRESTLING.
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Wanglicious posted...

like i'm not sure there's a rub to get out of anyone who "DESTROYS THE AUTHORITY." that's done. the closest i can think of is someone like Zayn but that's due to getting a win over HHH, not due to the angle at all.

What do you mean? Don't you remember the huge rub that Dolph Ziggler got for it!?

It's stuff like that which makes it hard to loyally watch every week, because when the crowd is red hot for someone, they ignore it mostly. If they listened to the fans more and actually pushed people when the crowd was going nuts for them, they'd have more people watching.
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Oh the company that will lose omega next year to wwe.

Why? Because wwe knows fans want omega so they will sign him to please their fans.
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I actually like more than Omega in NEW JAPAN PRO WRESTLING. Like TANAHASHI and OKADA and EVIL and ISHII.

And God-King of Time and Space KUSHIDA.
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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

What I want, more than anything, is just another beautiful moment like when Daniel Bryan won. But I don't think we'll ever get that, because when that happened it felt like WWE was giving the fans that they wanted and working with us. Nowadays it just really feels like WWE is working against the fans.

It happens every 10th Wrestlemania
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Jakyl25 posted...

PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

What I want, more than anything, is just another beautiful moment like when Daniel Bryan won. But I don't think we'll ever get that, because when that happened it felt like WWE was giving the fans that they wanted and working with us. Nowadays it just really feels like WWE is working against the fans.

It happens every 10th Wrestlemania

I was literally about to say that.

WM40 will be awesome!
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