Board 8 > I Don't Know What To Do

(+) Yeah! (+)

I normally don't talk about my personal life around here. This is just too much to keep to myself. I need some advice.

My dad called me while I was sleeping, while drunk. Normally, it's nothing, but he's been dealing with problems with my mom and brother. I think he's talked about depression before, but he's been rambling frantically for an hour about getting a divorce or wanting to kill her or himself. He keep running off the phone to scream about shit.

I'm trying to get him to relax, calm down, and sober up, but I don't know. Just when I think he'll get back to "drunk but ok" (which is still NOT ok), he just starts screaming again. He's dealt with drinking for 30 years, but it's never been like this.
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butter the floor

can't get more beer or kill anyone if he keeps falling down
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alcohol issues are alcohol issues

talking about killing yourself or others is a lot more than alcohol issues

you need to take this as seriously as you can
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Go visit him in person maybe.
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Well, he called around 8, kept hanging up and dialing until 9. I basically said stuff like calm down or watch TV. I am not physically there, so I don't know what set this off.

He hasn't called since. I hope he just passed out.
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psaltery posted...

Go visit him in person maybe.

We live in different states.
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Ask an authority figure to check in on him. Someone you know he respects like maybe his father, mother, brother, sister, co-worker, old friend, minister, pastor, etc. If there's none available you might need to get expert/professional help.
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Well, now I know how this mess started.

My dad got pissed because my brother asked for a favor. Dad said no, saying he should be able to take care of himself (I mean, we're both 30-35 after all). I guess my dad figured my brother should stop trying to ask for shit and taking advantage of kindness. So he goes behind Dad's back and get my mom to take care of it. This kind of thing has been going on for five years or so. Basically, my brother and his son live close by, so this kind of stuff must have taken a toll or whatever.

Anyway, Dad wakes up this morning and asks for a divorce of all things. Calls up my brother, saying it's Dad's fault. So that's how he became drunk and flustered. Well, he's not drunk anymore, but now he's leaving home to head to a relative's house instead. God knows how or why this started happening. Maybe my dad is fed up that because Mom works, his parental authority doesn't mean shit to my brother or anyone else.

But I don't get it. I don't know where this ends up leading.
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The fact that your father has discussed suicide and/or murder under any circumstances means he is very clearly at a stage in which this needs to be taken extremely seriously. And frankly, while I am of course by no means familiar with 99.999% of the history behind this situation, I have to say that if this is what pushed your father over the edge, things are even worse than they appear.
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I feel this has been building for a year or so. Saying things like, "When Mom retires, let's get away from family. Move somewhere else," or whatever. It's one thing to be "moody." It's another to express this much disgust for people. The only reason I've been spared is I live away from home. It's not like I said anything to spur this situation on. All I've done is act as a confidant or venting platform. I think what bothers me is I consider my dad my best friend. He's the one I talk to most, even if it just stupid shit. But I usually refer to my mom as the authority too...but I'm conflicted.

I can't really do anything, and I can't really place blame. I don't really want to take sides either.
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