Current Events > Just for funsies, describe how you'd commit the perfect crime

(+) Yeah! (+)

And so none of us end up on a watchlist, limit these hypothetical crimes to stuff like theft.

All posts are works of fiction, and none of the users have any actual intention of committing any mentioned crimes.

As for me, I got nothing. Too tired to think of anything.
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What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years; she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
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I'm not falling for this again, copper!
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Waluigi7 posted...

What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years; she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

Brilliant!
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Waluigi7 posted...

What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years; she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

Truly the work of a master criminal.
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When no one is looking, I eat grapes at the grocery store
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Nice try FBI.
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Alright here's the plan.

When the teacher looks the other way....

...
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We make a run for it!
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I would never commit a crime, officer
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guys I'm not a cop

btw anyone see any criminal acts lately? those are always fun to discuss, right? haha yeah, one time this one guy I knew did a crime and it was so funny.
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I'd steal someone's sweetroll and the victim would just be mocked by the authorities

Already did. I routinely used number three pencils on standardized tests and they never caught me.
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I'll be original and say And Then There Were None.
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Deed behind a one way glass mirror in any location of my choosing
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if I could get away with insider trading, I would
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kill someone via icicle
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I would say something mean on GameFAQs.
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Or no, better yet. I'd go to the Skyrim board and ask a question about MGSV.
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At stop signs I would wave people to cross the street.

Then run them over.

Not my car, not my problem.
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Waluigi7 posted...

What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years; she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3yinDcFABc
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