Current Events > Damn I really wonder how life would be if I was taller

(+) Yeah! (+)

Currently I am a measly 5 feet tall, and as I looked at myself as I walked from one building of work to the next in shame, I looked at myself in the windows and it gave me the illusion I was a foot taller

Boy, those 10 seconds a day I get to look at myself as a tall man really amp me up. Sometimes I pop a boner; other days my bumhole bleeds with rage (or as I like to call, roid rage) as fate has relegated me to being a fucking five foot tall man.

I'm barely a man.
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You could always get a sex change.
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drunkmuggle posted...

Sometimes I pop a boner; other days my bumhole bleeds with rage as fate has relegated me to being a fucking five foot tall man.

if you do both at once do you bleed out
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as a 6'6" man I get tired from the constant positive attention from women, random kids coming up and telling me I am their hero and other men in tears coming up to me saying they wished they were tall like me.
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Admittedly at 5'6 I'm significantly taller than you, but I've often found that being relatively small actually comes with advantages. You can fit in small spaces that the bigger folk have trouble with, you generally don't have to worry about hitting your head on low ceilings, doorways, branches, or other obstacles, you can arguably move through crowds more fluidly, etc. The main physical disadvantage is it's harder to carry things of larger volume.
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i'm 4'11
i win

no i dont :(
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drunkmuggle posted...

Currently I am a measly 5 feet tall, and as I looked at myself as I walked from one building of work to the next in shame, I looked at myself in the windows and it gave me the illusion I was a foot taller

Boy, those 10 seconds a day I get to look at myself as a tall man really amp me up. Sometimes I pop a boner; other days my bumhole bleeds with rage (or as I like to call, roid rage) as fate has relegated me to being a fucking five foot tall man.

I'm barely a man.

Sad! Instead of wallowing in self pity, you should pull yourself up by your bootstraps and make yourself into somebody who respects himself and commands the respect of others. Tall men might have had their time in the spotlight, but not its YOUR turn!

Also I am a fat ass
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As an average 5'9" man, I feel awfully... average. I start my average day waking up at an average time, I eat my granola bar with a glass of OJ, kiss my 6/10 wife goodbye and head out for my 30 minute work commute with mild congestion. I do my office work at Megacorp making 35K/yr, have a quick 30 minute lunch in the employee breakroom, finish up my workday and head back home. I get home around 6:30, my wife cooks us chicken breasts with no skin or seasoning (gotta watch the cholesterol), we then watch two hours of cable programming and go to sleep without sex (except on birthdays and anniversaries).

As an above-average 6'5" man, I feel awfully... above-average. I start my average day waking up late, I eat my Kit Kat bar with a glass of Monster, kiss my 10/10 fuckbuddy ass-slave goodbye and head out for my 30 minute powerlifting session. I work from home as a life coach for much shorter men, making 120K/yr, have a leisurely 45 minute lunch outside on the pavillion, finish up my workday and leave my spacious home office for the day. I work on my classic muscle car until 6:30, my fuckbuddy ass-slave cooks us fried chicken with mashed potatoes and extra flaky biscuits (I don't care about the cholesterol because my beta clients help me pay for my Lipitor), we then watch two hours of hardcore pornography and go to sleep after having wild sex (except on birthdays and anniversaries, when I have threesomes).
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green butter posted...

10/10 above-average post

God, meanwhile I'm fucking 5 feet tall and can't get a woman because I am barely cleared to ride rollercoasters or drive a car without a fucking booster seat

I hate my life, and once again I am suffering from a bout of roid rage (ass blood)

Also I'm a fatass
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Do you wish you were a baller?
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drunkmuggle posted...

God, meanwhile I'm fucking 5 feet tall and can't get a woman because I am barely cleared to ride rollercoasters or drive a car without a fucking booster seat

I hate my life, and once again I am suffering from a bout of roid rage (ass blood)

Also I'm a fatass

Don't believe his LIES I've seen his gym selfies and he is fucking aesthetic and looks DELICIOUS AF.

clearaflagrantj posted...

drunkmuggle posted...

God, meanwhile I'm fucking 5 feet tall and can't get a woman because I am barely cleared to ride rollercoasters or drive a car without a fucking booster seat

I hate my life, and once again I am suffering from a bout of roid rage (ass blood)

Also I'm a fatass

Don't believe his LIES I've seen his gym selfies and he is fucking aesthetic and looks DELICIOUS AF.

Those are my doppelganger
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KILBOTz posted...

as a 6'6" man I get tired from the constant positive attention from women, random kids coming up and telling me I am their hero and other men in tears coming up to me saying they wished they were tall like me.

Great post
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KILBOTz posted...

as a 6'6" man I get tired from the constant positive attention from women, random kids coming up and telling me I am their hero and other men in tears coming up to me saying they wished they were tall like me.

Some people have everything in life and they don't know how to appreciate it

You disgust me, either cut your legs off or enjoy the fact that you are a prime specimen of humankind
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I'm sure there are short women too that are only sub 5'0ft
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