Current Events > I just saw Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets. *spoilers*

(+) Yeah! (+)

Didn't like it. It had a lot of problems: pacing, exposition, shit antagonist, tiring 3D visuals, and probably the most unlikable main characters I've ever watched. Both Valarian and Loraline exuded a "too cool for school" aura that permeated throughout the entire thing. Valerian is like a cocky James Bond if James Bond used Axe body spray, and Loraline tried to act like a Femme Fatale, but wasn't exactly sure how to do it.

The plot starts with an idyllic shot of a bunch of skinny aliens doing skinny alien things, and then shit fucks up real easy. You're left wondering what this was about, and why it was happening for far too long. The story doesn't do anything except "find the mcguffin, protect the mcguffin, also rescue your partner" for the majority of the middle. There is no moving the movie forward. It's horribly frustrating to watch nothing happen for 40 minutes because you're watching 2 unlikable assholes interact with each other.

The main antagonist is a general who knowingly committed genocide, sought to cover it up, and spread a bunch of lies when he was close to being found out. No one thought to question him or his motives (come on, the fucker controlled black androids. Nothing good comes from black androids), and even when confronted with the realisation that his gig was up, he chose to use his AI bots to further disgrace himself, uttering the "iconic" words, "A soldier chooses death before humiliation.", before laying bare all his humiliations in the proceeding scenes.

So, you're left with a movie being anchored by characters you don't care about, manoeuvring through a plot that fails to engage you in what it sets out to do for 80% of the movie, versus an antagonist that belies any semblance of logic. Definitely skip this movie.
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Dat Cara Delevingne tho mmmm
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cool thx for the review bro

don't watch Dunkirk, it was awful

In all seriousness, I agree with everything you said though, TC.

Which is quite disappointing, as I was kinda sorta looking forward to this film

Despite my gut telling me "it looks exactly like Jupiter Ascending"
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