Poll of the Day > So the rapture is supposed to happen tomorrow.

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Stupid Pirate Guy
09/22/17 4:55:19 PM
#1:


Is everybody ready to meet Jesus?
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Mover_of_Zigs
09/22/17 4:56:27 PM
#2:


Again?
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GhostGiblet
09/22/17 5:00:14 PM
#3:


The last time I tried to meet Jesus he was at the local mall. There was a super long line, and everyone who came from the front of the line said his handlers wouldn't even let you to talk to him, you could only get an autograph for 30 bucks. They ended up sending everybody home after 30 minutes. But it turned out that when you rubbed one of the autographs on a sick person, they got better. So maybe it wasn't all bad idk
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Cotton_Eye_Joe
09/22/17 5:09:55 PM
#4:


GhostGiblet posted...
The last time I tried to meet Jesus he was at the local mall. There was a super long line, and everyone who came from the front of the line said his handlers wouldn't even let you to talk to him, you could only get an autograph for 30 bucks. They ended up sending everybody home after 30 minutes. But it turned out that when you rubbed one of the autographs on a sick person, they got better. So maybe it wasn't all bad idk

Did somebody break through the roof of a mall and lower a paraplegic guy in?
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GhostGiblet
09/22/17 5:11:59 PM
#5:


Cotton_Eye_Joe posted...
GhostGiblet posted...
The last time I tried to meet Jesus he was at the local mall. There was a super long line, and everyone who came from the front of the line said his handlers wouldn't even let you to talk to him, you could only get an autograph for 30 bucks. They ended up sending everybody home after 30 minutes. But it turned out that when you rubbed one of the autographs on a sick person, they got better. So maybe it wasn't all bad idk

Did somebody break through the roof of a mall and lower a paraplegic guy in?

No, but they had to drain all the wine out of the fountains and the aquatic pet store employees were trapped inside by thousands of miracle fish
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Zikten
09/22/17 5:14:09 PM
#6:


Nobody knows the hour of the return
This is bullshit
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Mover_of_Zigs
09/22/17 5:31:19 PM
#7:


I'm more interested in the Return of the Jedi
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ClarkDuke
09/22/17 5:34:21 PM
#8:


Zikten posted...
Nobody knows the hour of the return
This is bullshit

When was it prophecised dating siblings is acceptable, asking for a friend, ok?
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Cruddy_horse
09/22/17 5:36:15 PM
#9:


I really wish we would stop giving attention to people who say the world is going to end on __/__/__ because of __________
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papercup
09/22/17 5:38:24 PM
#10:


No it's not, it's just some guy looking for attention.
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Dikitain
09/22/17 6:03:19 PM
#11:


ClarkDuke posted...
Zikten posted...
Nobody knows the hour of the return
This is bullshit

When was it prophecised dating siblings is acceptable, asking for a friend, ok?

Bible doesn't say anything about having sex with siblings (just parents, aunts and uncles), so I guess Jesus would allow it.
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OhhhJa
09/22/17 6:08:27 PM
#12:


ClarkDuke posted...
When was it prophecised dating siblings is acceptable, asking for a friend, ok?

Hey man, if you wanna diddle your sister's box you do you, ok
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Zikten
09/22/17 6:15:39 PM
#13:


ClarkDuke posted...
Zikten posted...
Nobody knows the hour of the return
This is bullshit

When was it prophecised dating siblings is acceptable, asking for a friend, ok?

I saw a movie about King David from the Bible once and his son and daughter had sex
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Zikten
09/22/17 6:17:15 PM
#14:


Also some versions of the Adam and Eve story have a sister to Caine and Abel that either does fuck her brothers or they are least want to fuck her and that that is another source of fued between them cause they fight over her
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rjsilverthorn
09/22/17 6:17:32 PM
#15:


Dikitain posted...
ClarkDuke posted...
Zikten posted...
Nobody knows the hour of the return
This is bullshit

When was it prophecised dating siblings is acceptable, asking for a friend, ok?

Bible doesn't say anything about having sex with siblings (just parents, aunts and uncles), so I guess Jesus would allow it.


“‘If a man marries his sister, the daughter of either his father or his mother, and they have sexual relations, it is a disgrace. They are to be publicly removed from their people. He has dishonored his sister and will be held responsible."
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Mover_of_Zigs
09/22/17 6:45:23 PM
#16:


If all of humanity came from one single set of parents, then the Bible has to allow siblings to get freaky, otherwise it's lying to itself.
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WindMouseHanpan
09/22/17 6:50:40 PM
#17:


I'm looking forward to meeting Jesus, but it ain't gonna happen tomorrow. Just another false doomsday date.
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OhhhJa
09/22/17 6:52:14 PM
#18:


Which Jesus? I've already met a few
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JOExHIGASHI
09/22/17 10:18:51 PM
#19:


nope, I'm a heathen
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Kimbos_Egg
09/22/17 10:32:59 PM
#20:


Good. then i can deny him 3 times to his face at last!
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myghostisdead
09/22/17 11:05:03 PM
#21:


Mover_of_Zigs posted...
If all of humanity came from one single set of parents, then the Bible has to allow siblings to get freaky, otherwise it's lying to itself.


So where did all the other people come from that were there outside the garden of Eden unless there were other people?
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Firewood18
09/22/17 11:40:36 PM
#22:


Rapture? Who's headlining?
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Mover_of_Zigs
09/23/17 1:27:08 AM
#23:


myghostisdead posted...
Mover_of_Zigs posted...
If all of humanity came from one single set of parents, then the Bible has to allow siblings to get freaky, otherwise it's lying to itself.


So where did all the other people come from that were there outside the garden of Eden unless there were other people?

So God made other people at the same time that weren't even allowed into paradise to begin with? Never heard that, I guess. That would be a dick thing to do.
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Zikten
09/23/17 1:33:59 AM
#24:


Mover_of_Zigs posted...
myghostisdead posted...
Mover_of_Zigs posted...
If all of humanity came from one single set of parents, then the Bible has to allow siblings to get freaky, otherwise it's lying to itself.


So where did all the other people come from that were there outside the garden of Eden unless there were other people?

So God made other people at the same time that weren't even allowed into paradise to begin with? Never heard that, I guess. That would be a dick thing to do.

well in the bible it says that Caine runs off and finds a wife. so either he took a sister with him into exile or he found other people
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ClarkDuke
09/23/17 1:41:56 AM
#25:


Zikten posted...
Mover_of_Zigs posted...
myghostisdead posted...
Mover_of_Zigs posted...
If all of humanity came from one single set of parents, then the Bible has to allow siblings to get freaky, otherwise it's lying to itself.


So where did all the other people come from that were there outside the garden of Eden unless there were other people?

So God made other people at the same time that weren't even allowed into paradise to begin with? Never heard that, I guess. That would be a dick thing to do.

well in the bible it says that Caine runs off and finds a wife. so either he took a sister with him into exile or he found other people

I know what you're dreaming tonight, ok?
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Mover_of_Zigs
09/23/17 1:43:27 AM
#26:


What were the other people being punished for if they were already locked out of the garden?
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Zikten
09/23/17 1:49:49 AM
#27:


Mover_of_Zigs posted...
What were the other people being punished for if they were already locked out of the garden?

I think it's just a plothole in the story. people didn't really pick apart stories thousands of years ago.
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Yellow
09/23/17 2:19:17 AM
#28:


So who else is going to be tortured for all eternity because they touch themselves at night?
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Dash_Harber
09/23/17 3:47:14 AM
#29:


I thought it was doomsday, not the rapture. Rapture sounds much more exciting.
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Yellow
09/23/17 4:51:19 AM
#30:


Let me tell you something interesting. In Roman Catholic lore, a mortal sin is what you need to get sent to hell. A mortal sin is like a spiritual felony, it's the more serious kind of sin. The other is a menial sin.

One of the requirements for a mortal sin is if you don't know it's a mortal sin, it can't be a mortal sin. You have to know what you're doing is a serious offense or it can't be one. The other interesting part of that is that if you do anything thinking it's a mortal sin, you've committed a mortal sin. I asked my Bible teacher, "what if you have slight doubts that something might be a mortal sin?" and she told me that would be a mortal sin too.

It's a literal paradox. Funnily enough I grew up malnourished because I was always second guessing how much food I was supposed to eat before it became gluttony. If I'm second guessing it I've made it a mortal sin and I'm going to hell.

That said, masturbation is a mortal sin, and now that I've told you that I've increased your odds of going to hell to about 100% given none of you will stop masturbating. So if that God is real, you've heard the truth, and you're going to hell. You're welcome. You're now chain-mailed into Roman Catholicism.

I've yet to see anyone on PotD know more about Catholicism than me, which is ironic given how much I dislike it. :P
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Krazy_Kirby
09/23/17 6:04:24 AM
#31:


Zikten posted...
the return is bullshit


took out the unnecessary words for you
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Mover_of_Zigs
09/23/17 9:16:58 AM
#32:


Yellow posted...
Let me tell you something interesting...none of you will stop masturbating.

Took out the unnecessary words for you XD
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Foppe
09/23/17 9:35:49 AM
#33:


Dont we need a false prophet and an Anti-Christ before the rapture?
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rjsilverthorn
09/23/17 9:36:54 AM
#34:


Yellow posted...
The other is a menial sin.


I know enough about Catholicism to know it is a venial sin.
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Zikten
09/23/17 10:12:05 AM
#35:


Foppe posted...
Dont we need a false prophet and an Anti-Christ before the rapture?

and 7 whole years. after the rapture the world doesnt end for 7 more years
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myghostisdead
09/23/17 10:35:51 AM
#36:


Foppe posted...
Dont we need a false prophet and an Anti-Christ before the rapture?
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Stupid Pirate Guy
09/23/17 10:45:12 AM
#37:


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Foppe
09/23/17 2:23:23 PM
#38:


Zikten posted...
Foppe posted...
Dont we need a false prophet and an Anti-Christ before the rapture?

and 7 whole years. after the rapture the world doesnt end for 7 more years


Wait a minute...
...what if Trump is the false prophet and/or antichrist?
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Mover_of_Zigs
09/23/17 3:15:07 PM
#39:


Foppe posted...
Zikten posted...
Foppe posted...
Dont we need a false prophet and an Anti-Christ before the rapture?

and 7 whole years. after the rapture the world doesnt end for 7 more years


Wait a minute...
...what if Trump is the false prophet and/or antichrist?

I think you're giving Trump too much credit ;)
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Zikten
09/23/17 4:09:23 PM
#40:


The ant Christ is liked by almost everyone. It's a person that has like 95% of the world fooled
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Yellow
09/23/17 11:59:14 PM
#41:


rjsilverthorn posted...
venial

Whoops. It's been a while.
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ClarkDuke
09/24/17 2:34:00 AM
#42:


Zikten posted...
The ant Christ is liked by almost everyone. It's a person that has like 95% of the world fooled

You don't realize you described a laughably implausible caricature, ok?
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Dash_Harber
09/24/17 3:39:20 AM
#43:


Foppe posted...
Zikten posted...
Foppe posted...
Dont we need a false prophet and an Anti-Christ before the rapture?

and 7 whole years. after the rapture the world doesnt end for 7 more years


Wait a minute...
...what if Trump is the false prophet and/or antichrist?


Then he is a woefully inept one, since half the country thinks he is a moron.
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Dash_Harber
09/24/17 3:52:33 AM
#44:


Zikten posted...
Nobody knows the hour of the return
This is bullshit


I think the whole thing is bullshit, but if you are a Christian, your Bible specifically mentions this. As I said before, though, it also says the exact opposite in Revelations, so ...
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Foppe
09/24/17 4:07:31 AM
#45:


Dash_Harber posted...
Foppe posted...
Zikten posted...
Foppe posted...
Dont we need a false prophet and an Anti-Christ before the rapture?

and 7 whole years. after the rapture the world doesnt end for 7 more years


Wait a minute...
...what if Trump is the false prophet and/or antichrist?


Then he is a woefully inept one, since half the country thinks he is a moron.


He is at least good at hiding his true agenda if it was true ;)
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Dash_Harber
09/24/17 7:41:26 AM
#46:


Foppe posted...
Dash_Harber posted...
Foppe posted...
Zikten posted...
Foppe posted...
Dont we need a false prophet and an Anti-Christ before the rapture?

and 7 whole years. after the rapture the world doesnt end for 7 more years


Wait a minute...
...what if Trump is the false prophet and/or antichrist?


Then he is a woefully inept one, since half the country thinks he is a moron.


He is at least good at hiding his true agenda if it was true ;)


Yes, but isn't the anti-Christ supposed to be liked by everyone? Either way, I'm fairly certain the Anti-Christ isn't even a biblical thing anyway.
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