Current Events > Fuck dementia

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My grandma was diagnosed with early stages of dementia about 8 years ago iirc. I don't get to see her more than once a year since they live in Arizona and I live in Texas.

Anyway, my grandparents were stopping through on their way to Louisiana and I went to my parents house to see them. She's been doing fine over the years, but now she's moving so slow and keeps asking the same questions in a 10 minute span. She's finally getting to the later stages.

It's breaking my heart right now that I'm going to hug my grandma one day and she's not going to remember me
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and people still think god exists
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My condolences, do you know which kind of dementia she has? I guess it's Alzheimers?

I hope your grandparents are getting help and support, so he doesn't take care of her alone.

I've taken care of people with dementia for 6 years.
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Mental illnesses like that are tough. My mother wasn't diagnosed with dementia but she was in a pretty similar state, losing focus, forgetting where she was, constantly asking the same few things because she wasn't sure, etc. She never ended up reaching the state of being unaware of who she was talking to at least. My condolences man, it's not easy to deal with.
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Yes, Alzheimers. My aunt is traveling with them and they're surrounded by family in Arizona, so there is plenty of support
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Panthera posted...

Mental illnesses like that are tough. My mother wasn't diagnosed with dementia but she was in a pretty similar state, losing focus, forgetting where she was, constantly asking the same few things because she wasn't sure, etc. She never ended up reaching the state of being unaware of who she was talking to at least. My condolences man, it's not easy to deal with.

While it is an illness that affects mental health and such, it's not considered to be a psychological disease and everyone needs to be careful not to group it as a "mental illness" I know it's put in the same definition, just it's treated very differently and has 100% physiological causes.

SuperExcitebike posted...

Yes, Alzheimers. My aunt is traveling with them and they're surrounded by family in Arizona, so there is plenty of support

Gotta be careful not to strain the family, it's very hard for family, I would suggest getting some help like home help service if able. I've seen so many families where they stopped being their partner, daughter, son etc...and became their nurse, which is not fine.

If you have any questions btw, I'm glad to answer to the best of my ability.
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I know man, it's awful. My mom has early onset dementia and it's really difficult to deal with. I moved home to help her out. She can't work anymore, she asks the same questions repeatedly, she forgets plans. She has a lot of trouble forming sentences because her language is screwed up and she can't say the right word. And she gets frustrated at herself and angry over it all the time. She's not even 50.
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Sorry to hear, TC. I just got done being unemployed for the last year d/t taking care of my grandparents with alzheimer's. Cleaning up feces and urine everywhere, repetitive questions like you said, freaking out and looking for weapons for the guys on TV making fun of them, fits of rage, I could go on. It's horrible. I don't think I've seen my grandma even irritated before this disease. Now she flips out. Gpa passed a couple months ago and I'm just glad he's not suffering anymore. He was such a proud man he would have wanted someone to kill him before he lived like that.

Sorry for tangent. Just saying I know what you're going through it's no fun. Sorry, here to talk, etc. Hoping things start to get better. Keep up posted if you will.

DarkChozoGhost posted...

She's not even 50.

Holy shit, real sorry to hear man.. Just watch, scientists are gonna be able to cure and reverse that shit in a couple years. I'm rooting for you guys.

badasstion posted...

DarkChozoGhost posted...

She's not even 50.

Holy shit, real sorry to hear man.. Just watch, scientists are gonna be able to cure and reverse that shit in a couple years. I'm rooting for you guys.

With Alzheimers they have gotten close several times, I think the most recent they had some results on rats. But the thing is they still don't really know how it starts, they know the 2 major reasons, but not sure what starts first etc.
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badasstion posted...

DarkChozoGhost posted...

She's not even 50.

Holy shit, real sorry to hear man.. Just watch, scientists are gonna be able to cure and reverse that shit in a couple years. I'm rooting for you guys.

We have an appointed to see if she can take part in a clinical trial. That has more potential than anything else.
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My grandpa is ridiculously healthy for his age and he's been prepared for this for a long time. I'm sure he knows all of the precautions of putting strain on the family and on himself. I'll speak with him about it in a month when they're on their way back home to see what his plans are.

Thanks @FF_Redux
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I don't know if it's dementia, but my grandma has been having a lot of memory problems. She'd ask me where her room is, I'd guide her there, she'd sit on her bed, then ask me where her room is again. A few times she's walked into my room, woke me up, and asked me if she was in her room.
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SuperExcitebike posted...

My grandpa is ridiculously healthy for his age and he's been prepared for this for a long time. I'm sure he knows all of the precautions of putting strain on the family and on himself. I'll speak with him about it in a month when they're on their way back home to see what his plans are.

Thanks @FF_Redux

Yeah, I've seen some very strong families as well. But the most important part is to not becoming the nurse as family and keep being whatever you were. And I know that in especially couples you feel obligated to take care of the partner, and it's shameful to get help or feel like you are betraying when you get help. None of this might not apply to your case, but I'm just giving a heads up.
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Brings up my memories about my grandfather. My grandpa had it. I shouldve kept the way he was before dementia but his last years are all i seem to remember. our family was busy with life but we made time to see grandpa. He his ability to speak. He liked to play with his sons (my dad and uncles). Those were moments where he only smiled and laughed. My dad would take us to visit him and would joke around with him like a buddy. My uncles and aunts told us that my dad was his favorite son. He looked like him and was named after him as junior.

His last winter with my family we all gathered in his house.he was having flashes of himself at this time. i was talking to my cousin's wife. Its been months since we saw each othet. My grandpa didnt see her as much as i saw him. He walked up to us and took her hand then placed in mine And smiled. In a way, i thought of it as his blessing. Cousin's wife and i looked at each other and just was shocked. when we looked at grandpa again, it looked like he was out of it again and wandered around his house until he saw his sons.

...grandpa got really sick the next spring. He was in pain but nobody understood him. He cried for nights until a doctor was sent to his house. My dad and his brothers stayed with him at the hospital. it was liver failure. They stayed with my grandpa for hours in shifts. My cousins bring their kids to see him. One day i stayed with my grandpa. we were watching tv together. Not saying much. Nurse came in to check how he was doing. I said hes pretty quiet. We just watching tv. I went to talk to him then he turned away from me. It brought tears to my eyes. The nurse was telling him i was his grandson but he wouldnt hear any of it. I told the nurse hes been like that for years And its okay. Deep down, i knew he didnt mean it that its the dementia or the medication. He just didnt feel like having people around. Thats when it hit me that for that moment i was a stranger to him. I started to cry as memories filled my heart of him.

my brothers and i visited him when we were kids regularly. We climb the tree in the front while he watches us. Afterwards, we take over his tv in his room while laying on his bed. My brother tried to jump the gap from his bed to a dresser and ate the dresser. Nothing broken. We were superkids. didnt get sick or hurt much. It left a scar on his nose like Iruka sensei on Naruto but the scar was a lot smaller on the bridge of his nose. He was mad at my dad for us being too wild. My dad said At least the boy knows not to do that again.

I looked at grandpa again and tears filled my eyes. Uncle came in and said everything will be fine and he wont suffer much longer. I just cried my eyes out. The hospital met with my family and relatives That day. They decided to bring him home to live the rest of his life.

At grandpa's funeral, my dad took death hard in 2013. He wouldnt cry in front of us and told us grandpa aint suffering anymore. It was his mantra for that day.
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Condolences.
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