Poll of the Day > Scenario: Your girlfriend of 5 years asks for an open relationship

(+) Yeah! (+)

"To spice things up"
You were thinking about proposing to her. What do?

Break it off, that shit never ends well

End the relationship.
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Insist she must watch me pound her best friend before she's allowed to start.
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yeah closest i've seen to it ending well is with one guy I know. hes currently with said girl but they aren't really doing the open thing anymore, and when they tried it caused problems, it caused all sorts of jealously. he fucked her best friend so she fucked his out of revenge. damn near ruined their friendships with said people etc etc.
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I don't get the point of open relationships. You might as well not even officially be dating if that's the case.

I'm already in a poly relationship. It works out just fine.
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wah_wah_wah posted...

I don't get the point of open relationships. You might as well not even officially be dating if that's the case.

yeah an open relationship is basically the equivalent of courting back in the day. though with courting I doubt as much sex was if any at all was going on, it was just a case of a girl going on dates with multiple guys to keep her options open until she made up her mind.
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mooreandrew58 posted...

wah_wah_wah posted...

I don't get the point of open relationships. You might as well not even officially be dating if that's the case.

yeah an open relationship is basically the equivalent of courting back in the day. though with courting I doubt as much sex was if any at all was going on, it was just a case of a girl going on dates with multiple guys to keep her options open until she made up her mind.

It's like saying you're on a diet but you're going to eat the entire box of Twinkies. You're just not on a diet anymore.

Scenario: Your girlfriend of 5 years asks for an open relationship

In other words, what this amounts to is, she's asking for your permission to cheat on you.

Run.

.
If she says this, then she's going to cheat no matter what your response is. Please don't humiliate yourself by actually assenting to it. ;.;

I agree with mooreandrew58 ... who had described, please note, the best of the likely outcomes of this, which is still pretty terrible. ;.;
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cute_fan posted...

Scenario: Your girlfriend of 5 years asks for an open relationship

In other words, what this amounts to is, she's asking for your permission to cheat on you.

Run.

.
If she says this, then she's going to cheat no matter what your response is. Please don't humiliate yourself by actually assenting to it. ;.;

I agree with mooreandrew58 ... who had described, please note, the best of the likely outcomes of this, which is still pretty terrible. ;.;

yeah its terrible by todays standards because sex is much more likely to involved especially with the words "to spice it up" being involved.
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Just dump her and make a run for it.
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wah_wah_wah posted...

I don't get the point of open relationships. You might as well not even officially be dating if that's the case.

It's not for me, but I get the appeal of having some more variety while still having a favourite to come home to. Not everyone wants to be 100% committed to one person, and that's not necessarily a bad thing if all involved parties are on the same page (provided everyone practices safe sex).

That said, the most obvious interpretation of the scenario presented here is that she's met some other guy that she's interested in dating, but she doesn't want to take the risk of being left single if it doesn't work out, so she wants to keep our relationship as a backup. That's no bueno. That's not being on the same page at all.
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adjl posted...

wah_wah_wah posted...

I don't get the point of open relationships. You might as well not even officially be dating if that's the case.

It's not for me, but I get the appeal of having some more variety while still having a favourite to come home to. Not everyone wants to be 100% committed to one person, and that's not necessarily a bad thing if all involved parties are on the same page (provided everyone practices safe sex).

That said, the most obvious interpretation of the scenario presented here is that she's met some other guy that she's interested in dating, but she doesn't want to take the risk of being left single if it doesn't work out, so she wants to keep our relationship as a backup. That's no bueno. That's not being on the same page at all.

yeah thats the likely case, but the first part you talked about still wouldn't be for me if I was in that situation. I wouldn't hold any hard feelings for the girl but i'd tell her thats not the life I want and tell her if she wants to pursue some other person then go for it, but we where done if so. i'd be more open to straight up polygamy than that, and even then i'd be iffy
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mooreandrew58 posted...

yeah an open relationship is basically the equivalent of courting back in the day. though with courting I doubt as much sex was if any at all was going on, it was just a case of a girl going on dates with multiple guys to keep her options open until she made up her mind.

That still happens and is completely normal.
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faramir77 posted...

mooreandrew58 posted...

yeah an open relationship is basically the equivalent of courting back in the day. though with courting I doubt as much sex was if any at all was going on, it was just a case of a girl going on dates with multiple guys to keep her options open until she made up her mind.

That still happens and is completely normal.

not where I live. quick way of being accused of being unfaithful or cheating. if you are a guy, if a girl you'd get called a whore likely.

not that I have a problem with a girl keeping her options open, but after being in a committed relationship for so long then suddenly wanting it, definite red flag
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Just the fact that you'll spend twice the money, it's already a horrible idea. End it for your health.

Honestly, I can relate to the monotony of having sex with the same person until you die or can't have sex anymore, so I wouldn't discount the idea entirely. I do find it a dangerous game to play, though.
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BTB posted...

I'm already in a poly relationship. It works out just fine.

That's because you probably went into it with that mindset. If you've been together for 5 years and then switch its going to cause problems.

https://youtu.be/v1MQRKlezJQ?t=98
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break up immediately, ok?
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supergamer19 posted...

Honestly, I can relate to the monotony of having sex with the same person until you die or can't have sex anymore, so I wouldn't discount the idea entirely. I do find it a dangerous game to play, though.

If you're bored of the person or don't have sex, why wouldn't you leave them?
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fettster777 posted...

BTB posted...

I'm already in a poly relationship. It works out just fine.

That's because you probably went into it with that mindset. If you've been together for 5 years and then switch its going to cause problems.

If true, I love how they conveniently left that out as there is a major difference if that is the case
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This happened to me. Ended poorly. They just want to sleep around and can throw it back in your face as not cheating because you "gave them permission".
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There really isn't an issue if both partners have security in their relationship.
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Kyuubi4269 posted...

supergamer19 posted...

Honestly, I can relate to the monotony of having sex with the same person until you die or can't have sex anymore, so I wouldn't discount the idea entirely. I do find it a dangerous game to play, though.

If you're bored of the person or don't have sex, why wouldn't you leave them?

There are usually other redeeming factors to a relationship, even if things are getting a bit stale. In particular, while trying something new can be fun, it's nice to be able to return to the old thing once the novelty wears off. Sometimes, leaving is indeed the better option, but sometimes it's not. It's going to vary from couple to couple; there's no blanket right or wrong answer.
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adjl posted...

Kyuubi4269 posted...

supergamer19 posted...

Honestly, I can relate to the monotony of having sex with the same person until you die or can't have sex anymore, so I wouldn't discount the idea entirely. I do find it a dangerous game to play, though.

If you're bored of the person or don't have sex, why wouldn't you leave them?

There are usually other redeeming factors to a relationship, even if things are getting a bit stale. In particular, while trying something new can be fun, it's nice to be able to return to the old thing once the novelty wears off. Sometimes, leaving is indeed the better option, but sometimes it's not. It's going to vary from couple to couple; there's no blanket right or wrong answer.

There isn't a redeeming factor for being unappealing. That is the official death of the relationship, everything else is ignoring the issue.
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If she just wants to have sex with other people for a cheap thrill I couldnt be bothered at that point

I definitely wouldnt marry her at that point and would probably be looking elsewhere in the interim

"I have a girlfriend?"

I would be devastated and feel like 5 years of my life were wasted, and then proceed to end things with her. Sorry if this happened to you TC.
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I'm in an open relationship, but it's not to "spice things up" and I would consider that statement a huge red flag if coming out of nowhere after 5 years.
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wah_wah_wah posted...

It's like saying you're on a diet but you're going to eat the entire box of Twinkies. You're just not on a diet anymore.

This is very appropriate considering the figure of girls in open relationships.
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If my boyfriend asked that I'd probably reevaluate our relationship since we have never been in an open relationship.
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Kyuubi4269 posted...

Insist she must watch me pound her best friend before she's allowed to start.

I was going to say either refuse or end the relationship, but this sounds so much cooler. And some of my exes had hotter best friends.

That said, if I was the only one benefiting from the open relationship, I'd be fine with it.
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in my opinion an open relationship means there is no relationship. So i would have to end it there with her.

Not about to get cucked, so I go a-buh bye
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Jen0125 posted...

If my boyfriend asked that I'd probably reevaluate our relationship since we have never been in an open relationship.

topic says girlfriend not boyfriend

OmegaTomHank posted...

Jen0125 posted...

If my boyfriend asked that I'd probably reevaluate our relationship since we have never been in an open relationship.

topic says girlfriend not boyfriend

so what?
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KevinceKostner posted...

Break it off, that shit never ends well

No thank you.

Hot.

She would have found someone she wants or has already fucked. I would break it off

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Kyuubi4269 posted...

Insist she must watch me pound her best friend before she's allowed to start.

And then break up right after, brilliant.

Cloud_Strife_1 posted...

You were thinking about proposing to her. What do?

Personally I'd then become single as that's basically what she's asking for anyway.
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As long as no one is getting hurt, I don't see a problem.
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Kyuubi4269 posted...

adjl posted...

Kyuubi4269 posted...

supergamer19 posted...

Honestly, I can relate to the monotony of having sex with the same person until you die or can't have sex anymore, so I wouldn't discount the idea entirely. I do find it a dangerous game to play, though.

If you're bored of the person or don't have sex, why wouldn't you leave them?

There are usually other redeeming factors to a relationship, even if things are getting a bit stale. In particular, while trying something new can be fun, it's nice to be able to return to the old thing once the novelty wears off. Sometimes, leaving is indeed the better option, but sometimes it's not. It's going to vary from couple to couple; there's no blanket right or wrong answer.

There isn't a redeeming factor for being unappealing. That is the official death of the relationship, everything else is ignoring the issue.

Think of your favourite game (or book, or movie, or whatever similar thing is most applicable for you). I'm guessing you've gotten bored of playing it and moved on to other games, but it still holds a spot as your favourite, and you enjoy going back to it from time to time. Obviously, relationships aren't video games, and if you're treating romantic partners as disposably as entertainment media you've got some emotional issues you should probably resolve before attempting a relationship, but even though the analogy doesn't apply perfectly, similar fundamental logic can apply. There's no shame in wanting a bit of novelty from time to time, nor is there shame in not getting that novelty from the person you're committed to. The only bad thing is seeking that novelty without consent, or when everyone involved isn't on the same page.
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KevinceKostner posted...

Break it off, that shit never ends well

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I would jump at it. Ive tried to get my gf to do this but she wont as of now