Poll of the Day > Stay at home dads, good or bad idea?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Last year someone had a presentation about how stay at home dads empowered women and gave them more control of money and stuff like that. On the other hand my sister says it is a bad idea because women are more maternal and should be with the children instead. What do you think?
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Depends on the people involved. I'd guess on average women are more suited towards raising kids, but there's nothing wrong with a guy doing it instead.
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Zangulus posted...

Its neither good nor bad definitely based on the sex.

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generally bad but I guess it depends
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Zangulus posted...

Its neither good nor bad definitely based on the sex.

What if the sex isn't very good?
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Depends on the people involved. If you have a strong woman with a weak man, it might make sense to have the man rear the children instead of taking menial work. And, in general, it makes more sense for a parent to be a primary caregiver than an extended relative or outsider.

Ben111 posted...

On the other hand my sister says it is a bad idea because women are more maternal and should be with the children instead. What do you think?

Given the definition of maternal, that seems like a silly remark.
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It's my dream to be a stay at home dad..without the kids
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Women are inherently more maternal, however many men have much stronger paternal instincts than their partner's maternal ones.

I think house husbands are a great idea when the dad wants to stay with their kids over their career. It's damaging to insist on taking your kids to daycare when a parent can stay with them and raise them one-to-one.
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Zeus posted...

If you have a strong woman with a weak man, it might make sense to have the man rear the children instead of taking menial work.

You don't leave the shit parent to raise the kids, child rearing is serious business.
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RCtheWSBC posted...

Zangulus posted...

Its neither good nor bad definitely based on the sex.

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It depends on the person. I just read yesterday that more and more stay at home dads are returning or wanting to return to the work force because they realized that it isn't as easy as they thought.

myghostisdead posted...

It depends on the person. I just read yesterday that more and more stay at home dads are returning or wanting to return to the work force because they realized that it isn't as easy as they thought.

yeah no shit

raising kids is hard work and mostly filled without reward for a long time
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Jen0125 posted...

raising kids is hard work and mostly filled without reward for a long time

Because raising your kids isn't rewarding.
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Jen0125 posted...

RCtheWSBC posted...

Zangulus posted...

Its neither good nor bad definitely based on the sex.

This.

Figure out amongst the two of you who wants to stay home with the kids and who wants to be the breadwinner. Depending on your respective qualifications, your ability to keep house, and your general love for kids (which, really, should be a prerequisite to having them in the first place), you can sort out what arrangement makes the most sense.

I'd love to be a stay-at-home Dad and I'd happily do it if I was independently wealthy; not sure I'd like being dependent on someone else for money, but that's the way things usually work, I guess...
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Kyuubi4269 posted...

Jen0125 posted...

raising kids is hard work and mostly filled without reward for a long time

Because raising your kids isn't rewarding.

A lot of millenials have that outlook bc they hate children

Kyuubi4269 posted...

Because raising your kids isn't rewarding.

a lot of times it isn't. kids are very selfish and not always appreciative. it's not always a rewarding job. there are a lot of studies done with people who regret having children but are afraid to talk about it because there's a misconception that people should always be grateful or positive about child rearing. the reality of child rearing is a lot harsher.

OhhhJa posted...

A lot of millenials have that outlook bc they hate children

a lot of people who have children in general have that outlook. no one with kids has the idea that it's 100% rewarding. that's something people who don't have kids like to pretend. last i checked neither you or kyuubi have children. neither do i and that's because i realize it's a lot of bullshit and a little sugar and i'm not really down with that.
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Kyuubi4269 posted...

Zeus posted...

If you have a strong woman with a weak man, it might make sense to have the man rear the children instead of taking menial work.

You don't leave the shit parent to raise the kids, child rearing is serious business.

If you leave the shit parent to make the money, the family can't afford to live on one salary. More importantly, the stronger person might be shit at parenting. A lot of highly successful persons don't have a proverbial nurturing bone in their body.

myghostisdead posted...

It depends on the person. I just read yesterday that more and more stay at home dads are returning or wanting to return to the work force because they realized that it isn't as easy as they thought.

Sounds like bullshit propaganda.
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Jen0125 posted...

a lot of times it isn't. kids are very selfish and not always appreciative. it's not always a rewarding job. there are a lot of studies done with people who regret having children but are afraid to talk about it because there's a misconception that people should always be grateful or positive about child rearing. the reality of child rearing is a lot harsher.

Do you have a child, Jen?

OhhhJa posted...

Kyuubi4269 posted...

Jen0125 posted...

raising kids is hard work and mostly filled without reward for a long time

Because raising your kids isn't rewarding.

A lot of millenials have that outlook bc they hate children

You actually have this backwards. Millennials - particularly Millennial Dads - are actually closer to their children than previous generations. Various studies have tried to pinpoint the reason for this and they determined it was likely some combination of:
-Growing up under Boomer parents, who tended to put careers first and also had the highest divorce rates in the history of Western society
-Shifting of gender norms is largely leaving the old family tropes in the dustbin. Previously, child-rearing - like keeping house - was seen (derisively) as "a woman's job" that men had no part in (both because it was beneath them and because they were seen to be awful at it, lacking in "a mother's touch"). That is no longer the case and Millennial Men are stepping in to be more active parents than their fathers were.
-Increased communication via smart phones, internet, etc., allows even those parents who travel away from their families on a regular basis to maintain close contact with their kids.
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DistantMemory posted...

Do you have a child, Jen?

i don't because i don't have a sugar coated view of child rearing.
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sure, it's a great idea... if you're an effeminate beta male, ok?
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ZiggiStardust posted...

sure, it's a great idea... if you're an effeminate beta male, ok?

this is very sad. there's nothing inherently effeminate or emasculating about a man wanting to be a stay at home father.
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