Poll of the Day > What would you do if you have 30y/o NEET son living with you

(+) Yeah! (+)

And he just refuses to go out of his room because of crippling anxiety.
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Get him a job and a place to rent, then kick him out and let him figure it out alone.
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It depends. If he's a NEET because he's mentally disabled in some way I'm not sure what I'd do. If he's a NEET because he's a lazy asshole then I'll feel like a failure as a parent, but given he's 30 I'd probably do something like tell him he's going to be kicked out in a few months, so he should use that time to find a job.

probably commit sudoku in shame
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Make it a daughter instead so it can be the topic of a dirty doujin

Take him to a behavioral therapist.
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Clearly, the ones saying "kick him out" have never faced "crippling anxiety" before. That stuff can get as bad as PTSD for war heros that saw their friends explode.

To answer the question, I'd do anything I could to get him help.

Would not have a child
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Put him in counseling. If somebody refuses to leave a, they most likely have mental issues of some kind. Of course, if it was me, I wouldn't have waited to resolve the problem until he was 30. That's just shit parenting.
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MannerSaurus posted...

Clearly, the ones saying "kick him out" have never faced "crippling anxiety" before. That stuff can get as bad as PTSD for war heros that saw their friends explode.

To answer the question, I'd do anything I could to get him help.

If he's 30 and not a war vet, he's had time to seek help. At this point it's chronic and a move needs to be forced as it won't happen naturally.
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Zeus posted...

Of course, if it was me, I wouldn't have waited to resolve the problem until he was 30. That's just shit parenting.

True. But what if something happened at 30 years old and it triggered all kinds of extreme mental problems? Just bouncing thoughts here.

I wouldnt.

I wouldve taken care of thats in his early 20s when it became apparent he was struggling with mental health

As a 70 gramma who will never have grandkids... I'd enjoy the activities we share like doing the dishes and painting
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MannerSaurus posted...

Zeus posted...

Of course, if it was me, I wouldn't have waited to resolve the problem until he was 30. That's just shit parenting.

True. But what if something happened at 30 years old and it triggered all kinds of extreme mental problems? Just bouncing thoughts here.

The majority of mental problems don't just come out of nowhere, though. And, if it was a case of PTSD, you'd know enough to get the kid counseling at the first signs of trouble. Frankly, I'd probably get him counseling even before problems manifested if I suspected there was a risk. A person's children should be their highest priority.
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I'll hold my decision until after I learn who his waifu is.
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If this is real crippling anxiety and he's basically disabled and taking medication and all? Nothing, really. Just help him try to find meaningful hobbies and encourage him to see a therapist. Hopefully he has some disability income and is willing to lend some financial help.
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Zeus posted...

MannerSaurus posted...

Zeus posted...

Of course, if it was me, I wouldn't have waited to resolve the problem until he was 30. That's just shit parenting.

True. But what if something happened at 30 years old and it triggered all kinds of extreme mental problems? Just bouncing thoughts here.

The majority of mental problems don't just come out of nowhere, though. And, if it was a case of PTSD, you'd know enough to get the kid counseling at the first signs of trouble. Frankly, I'd probably get him counseling even before problems manifested if I suspected there was a risk. A person's children should be their highest priority.

Yeah, as a certified maniac, I can vouch for this. The better somebody is at adapting to their problems, the longer it will take to confront them. I never had substance abuse issues and was very charismatic in the face of introversion, so I was able to avoid getting the help I didn't want but sorely needed. Nothing really caught up to me until I moved out (at age 21) with my girlfriend and we went 2000 miles away from home. I held it together enough that I still wasn't forced to confront anything though...

The hardest part, from personal experience, is that mental illness becomes normalized over time when you're constantly having to factor it into daily life. You develop coping mechanisms, which are often bad, and aren't necessarily consciously aware that you're as fucked up as you truly are. Everything clicked the night I was puking on myself in the emergency room, feeling like I had pneumonia, and it turned out it was stress-related. I got a new doctor around that time and he was vastly superior to my old one, and he made it really easy for me to get things in order.

Therapy helped me immensely by just peeling off layers like an onion and allowing for a lot more introspection. My understanding of things prior was extremely rudimentary, which is why I couldn't get anywhere on my own. I needed an educated, outside opinion to guide my investigation, and that made all the difference.
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TheCyborgNinja posted...

The hardest part, from personal experience, is that mental illness becomes normalized over time when you're constantly having to factor it into daily life. You develop coping mechanisms, which are often bad, and aren't necessarily consciously aware that you're as fucked up as you truly are.

Very true.
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Have him apply for government benefits so he can pay bills.
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