Current Events > Why do black people give their kids such wild names?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Seriously.
---

Names like Will Smith?
---

Names like Billy Bob?
---

Names like Brayden?
---

Kazi1212 posted...

Names like Will Smith?

No, wild names like Donald Glover.
---

still not as bad as naming your kid apple
---

Names like John?
---

In all honesty, white women come up with the worst names.

I've heard some really... unusual... names for black people, but literally anything is better than naming your kid a cancerous clump of letters that is supposed to be pronounced like an existing common name.

Ashleigh smh
---

Apple Martin

North West
---

I know a white girl who named her kid Karsyn ffs
---

This is a lame gimmick bro
---

Guy_Fieri posted...

This is a lame gimmick bro

@TheDarkCircle
---

I know a white girl who named her kid Karsyn ffs

How long was the response time when you called CPS?
---

I mean, most names sound weird when you're not familiar with them.
---

---

I also know multiple white people who though Nevaeh was a clever thing to name their child
---

It's in the Class rule sheet. You know, names have to fit in with the lore.

I mean, everyone gets one. I'm white, so I have to have a name like "Jareck" or "Gwendolyne", and I'm not allowed to use seasoning buffs on my cooking skill.

I dont know what the Black rules are though. Meta-gaming is frowned upon.
---

I went to camp when I was a teenager with two white kids named Kolt and Kash
---

@KingTumbleweed That has to be fake. Has to be.
---

Jayden or Brayden or any form of Ayden needs to STOP.
---

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PfB-r3f7ejk/TyWiVMFaejI/AAAAAAAAC78/wu32a70AeXI/s1600/015.JPG
---

Also when i was a kid i knew 3 siblings whose names were Liberty, Justice, and Charity.

I always assumed they named the last one Charity because they couldn't name her "For All"
---

Shaquayquay and lashonda disapprove of this topic.
---

DreadedWave posted...

Guy_Fieri posted...

This is a lame gimmick bro

@TheDarkCircle

oh snap!!

Taking my gimmick. That said @Guy_Fieri is a good guy, GREAT guy. As of course you are @DreadedWave, you are a GREAT guy.

Anyways TC: this is a lame gimmick bro

*audience cheers*

What's up with Mandalorians giving their kids such wild names? Jango? Boba? It's John and Bob. Get it right!
---

as a white man, my name (bruno) is far more unusual than my black girlfriends (tiffany)
---

Sure, some have real odd and ethnic sounding names. Ladashia, DeShawn, Demarcus, Tyrone, etc.

But it's not just black people. White people do it too. You have people named Brantley, or stupid names like Tomi, which is a bastardization of the name Tammy, which is the diminutive of Tamara. In the same vein, Megyn is really a bastardization of Megan, it is like a 5 year old tried to say Megan but couldn't. Names like Rush are more appropriate for a pet than your son, or what about walking around saying hi my name is Reince.

Note to the moderating staff: The term bastardization is not an insult: http://www.dictionary.com/browse/bastardization?s=t , it means 'to lower in condition or worth; debase:
hybrid works that neither preserve nor bastardize existing art forms.'

Balrog0 posted...

as a white man, my name (bruno) is far more unusual than my black girlfriends (tiffany)

Bruno is a cool name, tbh.
---

eston posted...

I also know multiple white people who though Nevaeh was a clever thing to name their child

To your point, my friend's ex named her youngest "Neveah."

Let that sink in for a minute. The only reason the name exists is because it's "Heaven" backwards. But this chick still managed to spell it incorrectly and switched the e and a.

Of her 5 kids, 3 have misspelled names.

I see it in the south

All the black dudes I know have regular names
---

I know one black guy named Chan, pronounced like Sean
---

Tyjuantavious was an interesting one I saw recently.
---

There was a girl my wife used to work with, her man's name was Tyrone and her name was Alecia, they named their kid Tylecia
---

DevsBro posted...

In all honesty, white women come up with the worst names.

I've heard some really... unusual... names for black people, but literally anything is better than naming your kid a cancerous clump of letters that is supposed to be pronounced like an existing common name.

Ashleigh smh

This
---

The worst name I ever heard of in my life is Abcde
---

The Misanthropic Bitch posted long ago:

Spread a Little on Me (Stupid baby names)

In a previous article, I introduced three members of my family: Brianna, Brianna's mother and Brianna's still-baking sibling.

After learning that my aunt intended to name a female infant "Taylor Jade," I gave my opinion of the name.

"What a wonderful name, I exclaimed, for a future professional hooker! If you want your daughter to augment her breasts and slurp other things in lieu of water, stick with that name."

A look of horror washed across my aunt's face, and she left. To her credit, she didn't stick with that name. To my amusement, she went with one even worse.

It's a girl!

Huh? Wha? It's 2 a.m. What's a girl?

I had a girl! Isn't that great?

Who the heck is this?

It's your aunt, and I had a girl!

Huh? Oh, Taylor Jade made her arrival?

We decided on a new name.

Well, bully for you.

We settled on "Riley"!

Oh, God, Riley is so trashy. Why dont you just hand her over to the porn industry to raise? Because when I think of Riley, especially with your last name, I think, "How much does she charge?"

Thats awful. Thats a really rotten thing to say. Besides, were spelling it R-Y-L-E-E. That makes it classier.

Oh, sure, if the class youre trying to rise above thinks a double-wide trailer is luxurious. Dont you know theres a direct correlation between extraneous "y"s in a kids name and the number of laws theyll violate? And whats with the "-ee"? How cutesy is that?

You can be really rotten sometimes.

I know, its a gift. Im just trying to save the kid some pain. Theres a cardinal rule in naming kids, and it is "Thou shall not mix ethnicities." Rylee sounds Irish. Your surname is LeManne. Rylee LeManne. Its like me being Rosita Connelly. Its not allowed.

But Im all about the nicknames. You know that. I named Brianna "Brianna" because I like "Bri" for a nickname. I picked "Rylee" because "Ry" is so damn cute.

Jesus Christ. Bri and Ry? Like cheese and bread? Youre naming your kids after cheese and bread?

Well, I never thought of it like that.

You should have. Its perfect for an incestuous lesbian stage show, though. "The Incestuous Lesbian Duo, Bread and Cheese LeManne." Whats the tagline going to be? "Hey, Bri, come over here and spread some on me?"

*click*

That's the last time I try to help a family member.

---

...continued:

Spread a Little on Me (Stupid baby names)
But my aunt isn't alone in doling out cutesy or "unique" names to her living accessories. It's a nationwide trend.

With society churning out Columbine Borg at a rapid pace, naming a child is one of the few remaining acceptable outlets for individuality. We want our kids to conform because conformity is the glue that holds society together. But giving them a name that no one ever thought to bestow upon a child -- Dysmenorrhea, for example -- allows parents to demonstrate some level of non-conformity.

Of course, buying a child a chemistry set and encouraging the exploration of the wonderful world of chemicals is far less embarrassing than saddling a child with the name "Cannon."

Along with creative names come creative spellings. Maybe the parents weren't clever enough to invent a name. Maybe they liked the sound of a traditional name, but they still wanted their child to have a leg up on the Lakens and Teagans.

But does spelling matter when the teacher calls on Julie, Jullee, Jewlee, Julliee and Julye?

"Rylee" is but one example of misspelled monikers. Traditional names become undecipherable.

Mayghan? Is it pronounced like the more traditional "Megan"? Or May-ghan? May-gun? My-gun? How can anyone tell in a country brimming with Brinleys, Hollyns and Kestins? Where Matthew becomes "Matthue," a too-trendy Carson becomes "Karsyn" and an overdone Taylor transforms into "Teighlor"?

Then there are the parents who completely lack creativity. They give rise to the Trumans, Willows, Xanders, Dawsons and Dharmas. They're television or movie addicts, and a name that fits a fictional character will surely fit their snookums.

And the stranger the name or spelling, the more apt the parents are to eschew discipline.

During finals, I escaped to the local public library to study. Libraries are quiet, or so I've heard.

Fifteen minutes into studying, a book fell on the floor. Again and again, a book fell on the floor. I got up to see who the klutz was, and it was none other than an adorable female toddler.

She purposely threw the book on the floor. Again and again. After five minutes of that, and perhaps noticing annoyance on the faces of other people, the mother half-heartedly attempted to discipline her angel.

"Kinsey, stop it. Stop it, Kinsey. Please, Mommy is trying to read, Kinsey."

What the heck? Kinsey? Like the Kinsey Institute? Either Mommy is kinky or stupid.

My vote was on the latter because for 20 minutes, Kinsey entertained the library with her antics.

I doubt a Jennifer would do that, but I bet a Jenypher would.

---

ChromaticAngel posted...

The worst name I ever heard of in my life is Abcde

I came in here to post this.

It's pronounced "Ab-see-dee" or some shit lmao
---

Wife had a kid she taught named Laa...Ladasha
---

My sister in law named her kid Kais, pronounced Case. Because it had to fit with the other K names. One of them is also Kaden, btw.

Her redneck friend named their kids Gunner Mason and Hunter Browning.

There's a younger girl at work named Mercedes and another named Tomyra, pronounced Tamara.

All white, btw.
---

scorpion41 posted...

Wife had a kid she taught named Laa...Ladasha

I still don't get why you peeps keep on making this one up.
---

Asherlee10 posted...

KingTumbleweed posted...

I am irrationally angry about this.

Completely rational though
---

Asherlee10 posted...

KingTumbleweed posted...

I am irrationally angry about this.

HVIIIers gonna hVIII.

scorpion41 posted...

Wife had a kid she taught named Laa...Ladasha

This can't be real, it just cant
---

Twin3Turbo posted...

scorpion41 posted...

Wife had a kid she taught named Laa...Ladasha

This can't be real, it just cant

it started from stand-up, iirc, and now when people wanna mock African-American names, they use that as an example.
---

boxington posted...

I mean, most names sound weird when you're not familiar with them.

---