Current Events > Don't think I've ever been this depressed

(+) Yeah! (+)

Im missing my family and dogs something awful. I wake up at 6 to prepare coffee and lunch for Houle, feed the puppy and then go back to sleep until 3 pm and only wake up cause I need to feed puppy again and start preparing dinner. Like if I didnt have something depending on me Id just sleep the entire day.
The rest of the day isnt so bad, Houle keeps me entertained and we go out or watch shows or play with the puppy.
Its after hes fallen asleep and Im still awake I start having panic attacks and just feel really really sad and literally cry myself to sleep. I know I sound pathetic. Never in my life did I think Id miss my family this much. I dont feel like eating at all. All I want to do is cry and sleep honestly.

I thought your dad was a douchebag from what you said in the past, and can't you bring your dogs eventually after quarantine them?
---

BignutzisBack posted...

I thought your dad was a douchebag from what you said in the past, and can't you bring your dogs eventually after quarantine them?

Him Im glad Im far away from. Its my mom, my sisters and my grandma I miss. My dog I cant bring until next year because of immigration issues.

I moved away from my family too. Its hard. Are you looking to get a job soon? You need something to keep you busy.

Use FaceTime and play video games
---

I always imagine moving away from family as something like a weight being lifted off you, that sense of freedom... I guess not for everybody. Maybe it won't bother me so much the day that it happens to me, because I'm solitary by nature and prefer being alone... but everybody experiences stuff differently.

My only advice would be to pick up a hobby to take some time and your mind off things... working out, playing more video games, learning to play an instrument, music, painting or drawing... there's gotta be something that will grab your attention.
---

Cleo_II posted...

I moved away from my family too. Its hard. Are you looking to get a job soon? You need something to keep you busy.

I cant work until I get a permit in like... 3 months?

DocileOrangeCup posted...

Use FaceTime and play video games

Already do the first and it makes me feel better for a bit but it never lasts. Ive lost interest in videogames and it pains me to say that.

Godnorgosh posted...

The grass is always greener, I guess. Some of us are still stuck with family, partly because we haven't found love and partly because we can't afford to leave on our own. You have the opposite problem.

Yeah but like, theres two countries between my family and I. Talk about overkill.

Poor dude. Would you be able to see a mental health professional for some help? I was insanely depressed last year and my gf suggested I see a psychiatrist and they put me on a good road ever since.
---

Xenozoa425 posted...

I always imagine moving away from family as something like a weight being lifted off you, that sense of freedom... I guess not for everybody. Maybe it won't bother me so much the day that it happens to me, because I'm solitary by nature and prefer being alone... but everybody experiences stuff differently.

My only advice would be to pick up a hobby to take some time and your mind off things... working out, playing more video games, learning to play an instrument, music, painting or drawing... there's gotta be something that will grab your attention.

Im pretty solitary too but the things I miss are the little things. How my sister and I would go to a 7/11 late at night to buy junk food and binge watch show so on Netflix. My other sister would do my makeup. Other other sisters singing while she took a shower. Visiting my grandma on sundays, going to my moms job and buying cake from the lady next door.
I guess what bothers me the most is that since Im Canada and theyre in Mexico I cant just wake up one day feeling like visiting them and going to see them.

SerPounceAIot posted...

Ive lost interest in videogames and it pains me to say that.

aw damn. maybe you should at least try to play something, even a boring game is better than doing nothing.
---

Facetime, like another user said, is also pretty handy. My mother's family (which has her sister, her sister's husband, her mother, and two kids at 7 and 6) lives in Miami, and we use Facetime every time we have a birthday/holiday/important event that we can't manage to find time for in person. Usually once every week or two.

It could be a double edged sword and make you miss them more though, so think it through.

Edit: just saw the part where you responded to that person. Yeah it helps a bit but you're right it only lasts so long. And the double edged sword thing too.
---

Even if you can't work, see if there's some place you could volunteer close by? Animal shelter, elementary school, library - as others have said, finding something to do, even if it's a few hours, will be really helpful

how long have you been away from them
---

Have you tried finding new activities / trying new thing? Learn arts and crafts, or find a easy part time job thats time flexible, or learn a new language, etalso with your family, tjere is always skype and other stuff right?

Contact trough screens arent as good as meeting, but some degre3 of contact is better than none
---

Wow, he makes you make his lunch for him?? You're in an abusive relationship and he needs to check his male privilege immediately. This is the 21st century girl, men aren't in control anymore.
---

This does not sound like a good start to marriage

sorry to hear that
---

Not surprising. Mexican families seem to be really close-knit, so losing that would make anyone who's used to that feel awkward, to say the least. Keeping in contact with them might help a little, but the best advice would be to find a social group that focuses on a hobby of your interest. Getting out and making new friends could help fill the void and hobby groups are a easy way to do this. Also, it might be useful to see a psychiatrist to talk about your issues. If it does nothing else, getting stuff off your chest is often a stress reliever.

I feel pretty shitty too

Ug1ybass posted...

Wow, he makes you make his lunch for him?? You're in an abusive relationship and he needs to check his male privilege immediately. This is the 21st century girl, men aren't in control anymore.

Lol

Maybe go out and socialise?

Your problem is if I'm reading this right is that you're alone in a big city and you're cooped up inside while there's literally a big city out there
---

"Of all the sad words from tongue and pen, the saddest are these, it might have been"
---

Houle doesn't have a sister or mom to keep you company while you wait?
---

leverageblargh posted...

Why didn't Houle move to Mexico instead of you moving to Canada?

They should have met in the middle imo. Chicago.
---

awesome999 posted...

Maybe go out and socialise?

Your problem is if I'm reading this right is that you're alone in a big city and you're cooped up inside while there's literally a big city out there

Yes and no. Where we live is lovely but unless you live downtown everything is spaced SO far away. Theres miles and miles with nothing but trees. And Tim Hortons. And Dollaramas.

Terryville posted...

Not surprising. Mexican families seem to be really close-knit, so losing that would make anyone who's used to that feel awkward, to say the least. Keeping in contact with them might help a little, but the best advice would be to find a social group that focuses on a hobby of your interest. Getting out and making new friends could help fill the void and hobby groups are a easy way to do this. Also, it might be useful to see a psychiatrist to talk about your issues. If it does nothing else, getting stuff off your chest is often a stress reliever.

Definitely so. I mean every single Sunday we all gathered at my grandmas. Doesnt really help I cant call her often because of the price and she cant call me cause shes blind and cant see the numbers.
For once Im actually open to seeing a psychiatrist, the problem is that without insurance its so pricey. Ill look around.

I really should take up a hobby, I just dont know what. I tried painting but gave up cause frankly, I suck at it and cant see myself getting better. Think I saw pottery classes nearby. Never really thought of them before but anything will work at this point.
I wanted to volunteer but like I said everything is far away and Id end up spending quite a bit of money to go somewhere where I work for free so its not very cost effective. Wouldve definitely liked to help at an animal shelter though.

leverageblargh posted...

Why didn't Houle move to Mexico instead of you moving to Canada?

We really thought about it but the quality of life in Canada is miles better. Houle has a really good job and Im fresh out of school. Gotta work on revalidating my degree too but I have to wait until I get residency.

Ug1ybass posted...

Wow, he makes you make his lunch for him?? You're in an abusive relationship and he needs to check his male privilege immediately. This is the 21st century girl, men aren't in control anymore.

I actually like that part of the day :P he says he can buy coffee and breakfast at one of the million timmys on his way to work if I dont wanna wake up that early but Im fine with it honestly.

Can't you just... go visit them?
---

JustMyOpinion posted...

Well, you knew what you signed up for going in. Maybe you should try to do something other than complaining. How can you expect things to get better if you just sleep the entire day?

lol
---

i think houle would be supportive of the idea of you volunteering, esp something dog related because you may be able to bring the pup and socialize him. odds are the 'cost-ineffectiveness' of it would be a minor loss compared to the net psychological gain to you. almost certainly cheaper than seeing a professional or making frequent trips to mexico.

it'd also give you a chance to meet new people and make some social connections in the area, which can help to fill the void of being separate from family.

there might even be some rescues closer to home than the animal shelters. they always need people to assist with transporting dogs/arranging fosters/interviewing fosters/etc. lots of highly social work.

i am mostly disinterested in maintaining close connections with my family so i always make a point of it to reach out to lots of new people when I go somewhere new. my wife and i have gotten some of our friends into the rescue we work with, and have made some friends through it as well.
---

SerPounceAIot posted...

Definitely so. I mean every single Sunday we all gathered at my grandmas. Doesnt really help I cant call her often because of the price and she cant call me cause shes blind and cant see the numbers.
For once Im actually open to seeing a psychiatrist, the problem is that without insurance its so pricey. Ill look around.

I really should take up a hobby, I just dont know what. I tried painting but gave up cause frankly, I suck at it and cant see myself getting better. Think I saw pottery classes nearby. Never really thought of them before but anything will work at this point.
I wanted to volunteer but like I said everything is far away and Id end up spending quite a bit of money to go somewhere where I work for free so its not very cost effective. Wouldve definitely liked to help at an animal shelter though.

If you haven't done so already, I would look into Google Hangouts (or Voice, if that's available in Canada). Calls to Mexico are 2 Canadian/minute, excluding mobile numbers. That should make it possible to call at least a few times a week.

I thought psychiatrist visits would be covered by the free healthcare they have in Canada.

As for a hobby, just pick something you have any interest in. Doesn't matter how bad you may be at it, as long as you're having fun doing and learning about it. The main thing is socializing with others in the group. The hobby is just an ice breaker. A lot of the friends I made in high school was, because I got to know them while playing football.

It wouldn't hurt to search online for volunteer opportunities. They may be some that would interest you, but you just never heard of them.

That's the pain about moving to another country with a long distance partner. You either adapt or the relationship will never last.

We just moved to the other side of the country and my girlfriend is in the same exact situation you're in. Misses her family, can't find a job yet, basically feeds the dog all day. She's doing a little better though since my job doesn't start for another 2 weeks.

Just have to find a hobby or something to be occupied with
---

Terryville posted...

SerPounceAIot posted...

Definitely so. I mean every single Sunday we all gathered at my grandmas. Doesnt really help I cant call her often because of the price and she cant call me cause shes blind and cant see the numbers.
For once Im actually open to seeing a psychiatrist, the problem is that without insurance its so pricey. Ill look around.

I really should take up a hobby, I just dont know what. I tried painting but gave up cause frankly, I suck at it and cant see myself getting better. Think I saw pottery classes nearby. Never really thought of them before but anything will work at this point.
I wanted to volunteer but like I said everything is far away and Id end up spending quite a bit of money to go somewhere where I work for free so its not very cost effective. Wouldve definitely liked to help at an animal shelter though.

If you haven't done so already, I would look into Google Hangouts (or Voice, if that's available in Canada). Calls to Mexico are 2 Canadian/minute, excluding mobile numbers. That should make it possible to call at least a few times a week.

I thought psychiatrist visits would be covered by the free healthcare they have in Canada.

As for a hobby, just pick something you have any interest in. Doesn't matter how bad you may be at it, as long as you're having fun doing and learning about it. The main thing is socializing with others in the group. The hobby is just an ice breaker. A lot of the friends I made in high school was, because I got to know them while playing football.

It wouldn't hurt to search online for volunteer opportunities. They may be some that would interest you, but you just never heard of them.

Why do when you can just Skype these days or whatsapp
---