Current Events > Is it normal to hate my ex 3 years later?

(+) Yeah! (+)

In all fairness she was an emotionally abusive gold digger who used me. I admit I feel anger for letting myself be used. I was 23 and had never had a gf so I let her take advantage.

However, at least once a day even if it is for 10 seconds I think about how much I hate her. I just cant shake it. I havent dated since because one I havent liked anyone since and two, I just cant deal with relationships ever again.

What is wrong with me? And before someone suggests it, no I dont still love her if I even did originally. That relationship pretty much convinced me that love isnt real.

There is nothing wrong with you but you need to find a way to let that go. It's not good to let that fester for so long. Sounds like it's holding you back from seeking another relationship.

If anything try to see it as a learning experience so that when you move on, you can see the signs before it would happen again or know what to look for instead. One bad relationship shouldn't dictate how every other one would be.
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MegaTech posted...

There is nothing wrong with you but you need to find a way to let that go. It's not good to let that fester for so long. Sounds like it's holding you back from seeking another relationship.

If anything try to see it as a learning experience so that when you move on, you can see the signs before it would happen again or know what to look for instead. One bad relationship shouldn't dictate how every other one would be.

Literally EVERY girl who has ever liked me has been mental. First girl to ever like me emotionally traumatised me with emotional blackmail and that scared me to never wanting to meet a girl or date again. Then about 5 years later I met the gold digger and forced myself to let my walls down then this happened. Tried dating two other girls which didnt last beyond a date or two. One confessed her love to me and that I was basically her soulmate after one date and the other one was emotionally unstable to the point of constantly contacting me.

Yeah, that's a bit odd to still be hating 3 years later (unless she did some seriously henious shit that you'd rather not talk about).

You gotta get back on that horse, just cause one chick was a scumbag doesn't mean they all are. Plus, I truly don't believe you'll get over her until you're with someone who'll love you like you deserve.
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I wish I could hate my ex. >_> After a similar amount of time I still think about her and wish things would have worked out differently.

But for you and I, holding onto those feelings isn't at all healthy. I'm even seeing another girl but I still think of my ex and hold her in a pretty high regard. I'm not sure how to work through these emotions so I'm completely over it and I can just forget about her and move on for good. I know that I have to though, and I'm getting better at it all the time.

I think the best "revenge"/way to move on is to just live the best life you possibly can. Make your life so good that it doesn't matter what happened in the past, because the present (and future) is where it's at.

In your case I know it's hard to get past the abuse and head games. But as long as you hold onto your hate for her, she still has power over you. You're still suffering from her abuse. You have to try to learn from it and become a better person somehow. Learn to recognize shitty and toxic people so it doesn't happen again.
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You sound like a victim being sought by predators.
If you present yourself that way then it will happen.
You probably don't even know your doing it.
Best advice is to date with you head and not your heart.
Going for girls you are not immediately attracted to will help you see their flaws more clearly and keep you from getting into emotionally trapped scenarios.
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Eat More Beef posted...

Yeah, that's a bit odd to still be hating 3 years later (unless she did some seriously henious shit that you'd rather not talk about).

You gotta get back on that horse, just cause one chick was a scumbag doesn't mean they all are. Plus, I truly don't believe you'll get over her until you're with someone who'll love you like you deserve.

She tried to tear some friendships apart, start feuds within my family, used me as a wallet and taxi. Pretty sure she stole shit from me, emotionally put me down, one night hit me then the next day told me her arm was sore from hitting me so i better but her what she wants or else there would be hell to pay. Fuck, when we finally broke up she basically told me all my flaws especially physical and pretty much implied she only went out with me because I was trying to not be picky and when she thought I was still her friend she still tried to get me to buy her shit which I didnt do. She claimed friends can still buy friends gifts. Basically what she wanted was for her to date another guy but I can still buy her shit, obviously I didnt and eventually got the balls to tell her to go fuck herself.

Normal? Probably. Healthy? No. You have to let it go. That means accepting who she is and what she did and why you put up with it enough to let it hurt you
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Shit I'm married and have a kid and I still hate my ex from 8 years ago. It obviously doesn't help that she hangs out with some of the same people I do. I haven't seen her in probably 5 years, but when her name comes up it makes my blood pressure go up.
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