Current Events > My Girlfriend is having a hard time getting over her ex.

(+) Yeah! (+)

When you love someone your "love" for your ex evaporates. She might love you as a person but she's IN love with her ex
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Hairy-man posted...

She also told me Im sorry that Im a monster. And then started crying.

I feel like she does feel bad for whats going on, and thats the part that makes me want to stay. But its not about that anymore. Its about how I feel. And I feel like shit!

Shes good at manipulation
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Hairy-man posted...

She also told me Im sorry that Im a monster. And then started crying.

I feel like she does feel bad for whats going on, and thats the part that makes me want to stay. But its not about that anymore. Its about how I feel. And I feel like shit!

Don't fall for that "I'm a piece of shit" routine. Stick to your guns. It may be sincere but it doesn't excuse what she's doing.
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Colorahdo posted...

When you love someone your "love" for your ex evaporates. She might love you as a person but she's IN love with her ex

A very good notion. I agree. I cant say for sure thats how everyone is, but thats how I feel.
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Im starting to wonder if Im being manipulated
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Break up with her today and tell us how it goes.
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I just told her a bunch of things, including what some people have said in this thread.

Unfortunately our only way of communicating at this moment is through text because were both at work. And while maybe it was petty of me to text it to her, I just cant sit here feeling like this anymore.

Something has got to give. I will send you guys what she says
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sounds fake
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Hairy-man posted...

hes trying to tear her away from me. Manipulation is a real thing. I know it is a 2 way street
I just told her

If you cant let him go, then youre gonna have to let me go

Do you think you can manipulate her into staying? And if you can and she does do you think you can hold her strongly enough to keep her from straying again? What about the next time? Will you trust her the next time more or less than you do now?

During the year you've been together have you been living together or does she have her own place? Was she living with him at the time or did she have her own place that she payed for with her own money? You hadn't mentioned the living arrangements and I am curious.

Also take a second and think about your friends and family members in ****ed up relationships and how they were unable to see things that were incredibly obvious to you and others.

Awesome posted...

sounds fake

If only it was fake. Because believe me, I am tired of this bullshit
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Fuck her better than her old dude did
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Hairy-man posted...

Im starting to wonder if Im being manipulated

She pines for her ex, and emotionally manipulates you into staying with her caterwauling. This is going to end badly for you. Don't say we didn't warn you if it happens.
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twitterfriends posted...

Eject eject eject, she will jump on his dick at the first opportunity

No offense, but this is what it seems like. She wants him but she'll settle for you and keep you there in case she can't get him. I don't know the whole story so maybe that's not the case, but if I was in your position, I wouldn't be happy. Telling you she loves you but she can't let go of another guy for you, that's really selfish if its a serious relationship.

Hairy-man posted...

If you cant let him go, then youre gonna have to let me go

I think this is good that you said it.

Hairy-man posted...

Im being manipulated

Ftfy
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NYmasajista posted...

Hairy-man posted...

hes trying to tear her away from me. Manipulation is a real thing. I know it is a 2 way street
I just told her

If you cant let him go, then youre gonna have to let me go

Do you think you can manipulate her into staying? And if you can and she does do you think you can hold her strongly enough to keep her from straying again? What about the next time? Will you trust her the next time more or less than you do now?

During the year you've been together have you been living together or does she have her own place? Was she living with him at the time or did she have her own place that she payed for with her own money? You hadn't mentioned the living arrangements and I am curious.

Also take a second and think about your friends and family members in ****ed up relationships and how they were unable to see things that were incredibly obvious to you and others.

Weve been living together for a majority of the relationship. Her grandparents bought her a house because she went through some hard times
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Alucard188 posted...

This has 'bad idea' written all over it. Get out.

NeverOffended posted...

I would leave her

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Pics, god damn it
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You need to run not walk away from this crazy chick, she already popped out a kid from 2 guys ago, she cant get over her current ex, and she is stringing you along.

Get out of this NOW before you not only get cucked but she claims you got me pregnant and it isnt actually your baby.
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TC leave her before you get hurt. She WILL cheat.
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This is why it's better to get a girl who hasn't had a previous boyfriend.
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Babby's first life decision.
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Id dip out.

Think 2 of my exs, maybe 3 were the same thing. One of them I moved in with and pretty much didnt hear from her for a month, found out her ex was back in town with a big ol supply of yayo and I guess she was a big coke head before I met her. The other one went straight to him one night when we had an arguement. Wouldnt sleep with her cause she was too drunk. Yah, there was a 3rd. I went to Cali for a month and she would up visiting near her ex and sleeping with him.

Chances arent good dude. And even if shes not hooking up with him, shes still thinking about him. A lot. And who knows if shes only thinking about him when yall are doing the nasty. Or if hes the last thing she thinks about before going to bed. And waking up.

Dip out.
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texting her this at work isn't the best move either.

You guys need to talk in person.

She IS being open and honest with you. She isn't trying to cheat. This guy had her heart, for a long time. It's going to take time to get over him. He keeps reaching out to her, so this is what you need to do.

I'll be the only person here that says DON'T LEAVE. She's your woman, you need to man up. Your problem isn't with her, it's with him. You need to set bounderies and let him know that he's not in the picture anymore. Fuck off or you'll call the police for herassment. She will like you standing up for her. Within two years of you being a man about this, I'm sure her her ex will fade into obscurity.

But I don't know, you already texted her so I guess cat's out of the bag.

also, stop taking relationship advice from people that either aren't in a committed relationship, or can't hold a commited relationship together. I met my wife in HS. 13 years later we are still together. there is nothing we haven't been through, but she's never cheated on me. Doesn't mean she didn't want to one time and it was great because it was one of those things I feared, now it's over with and she's a lot more mature about everything and feels better about the decision she made 13 years ago because of her little mishap like a year ago. (sexting online with a guy from germany). I Can't blame her for wanting to experience something different, my wife has never been with a different man. Now I'm more likely to have a 3some in the future, not just maybe with a 2nd dick but possibly women too :)

Again, CE Is the worst place for advice, but here's my 2 cents. Hope it helps

Anyways, she was honest with you about her feelings. IF she was hiding them, then she might be willing to cheat, but she isn't. You need to be honest with her that he makes you feel insecure and rather than say YOU DON'T TRUST HER (That won't go over well) you should say I DON'T TRUST HIM. Then take your fight to him, not to her.

Or let her go because you cannot defend what's rightfully yours.
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For how long was she single before she started dating you TC?
I too would agree to leave her. It is not worth your time and emotions to be going through this.

Honestly, I believe she isn't putting any effort to move past her Ex. Her words sound completely meaningless if all she can offer is "I'm sorry" and "I know I'm a terrible person" only for the conversation to end with her being in tears. It appears she has reached the point to just repeat those words to brush off the situation.

Remember the old expression, "Actions speak louder than words".

Her actions already show what character she is if she is still responding to her ex's messages.
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Self respect, don't settle for being second in someone's mind. Just tell her until she grows the fuck up she can only be a booty call at best

i know how you feel TC. sucks.
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I dont have much to offer that the majority of the people in this topic havent already said, so Ill just repeat them:

Leave her.
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I like how everyone tells you to be a wuss and walk away instead of taking the fight to HIM and telling him to fuck off. Stop talking to your gf of he's going to get his car smashed in one night.

Stand your ground or you will never keep a woman.
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I want to respond to everyone but Im overwhelmed.

She was single for a long time before I finally said yes to her. Things were great, but now this guy wont bugger off. And then she tries to push away, but keeps getting lured somehow. Wish I had that ability. I feel its not up to me anymore. Im just going to sit here until I get an answer
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Yeah she's not committed to you AT ALL.

If she really loved you, she wouldn't be getting lured in by him.

It's like that old saying
"if you're in love with two people, go for the second because if you truly loved the first, you wouldn't love the second" or something like that.

Plus she already has baggage with the kid and everything, she's clearly unstable and who knows what she isn't telling you.
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Hairy-man posted...

Things were great, but now this guy wont bugger off.

Wait, he's interfering himself and she isn't just thinking about him all day on her own? Bro, handle that dude.
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Hairy-man posted...

I want to respond to everyone but Im overwhelmed.

She was single for a long time before I finally said yes to her. Things were great, but now this guy wont bugger off. And then she tries to push away, but keeps getting lured somehow. Wish I had that ability. I feel its not up to me anymore. Im just going to sit here until I get an answer

then you've already lost. Go back and read my original post, like 8 posts above this one. It's kinda long, and it's the opposite of what others are telling you to do, but guess what, if someone told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?

You need to be more assertive. Trust me, this is my own problem too (the anxiety, the fear), I'm speaking from experience.
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even if you are normally non confrontational, you need to roll your sleeves up on this one (Even as just a show of force), but if he calls your bluff, be ready to stand your ground. Do not break the law, but since he's stronger than you, I"d recommend bringing a bat.
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TC get the fuck out

GregShmedley posted...

weekoldhotdog posted...

even if you are normally non confrontational, you need to roll your sleeves up on this one (Even as just a show of force), but if he calls your bluff, be ready to stand your ground. Do not break the law, but since he's stronger than you, I"d recommend bringing a bat.

Dude, you are giving the most piss poor advice. Holy shit.

Yeah, let me see your certificates of training for dealing with ex's. I want to know what ivyleague college you majored in to get these degrees of mastership with dealing with ex's. Because I don't seem to care that you have an opinion either way do I? I Just throw my advice out there and leave it to rot.

Fuck you and fuck your assessment of my advice.
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weekoldhotdog posted...

Fuck you and fuck your assessment of my advice

LMAO I've never seen anyone this triggered before

Tough guy eh
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clearaflagrantj posted...

weekoldhotdog posted...

Fuck you and fuck your assessment of my advice

LMAO I've never seen anyone this triggered before

I hear indian guys are the new bull.
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Or just to get the best of worlds:
Be assertive,
kick the ex's arse
leave her to show how much of a punk her ex is to realize her mistakes -__-

Even though it may lead to consequences, have you thought about confronting him?
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GregShmedley posted...

weekoldhotdog posted...

GregShmedley posted...

weekoldhotdog posted...

even if you are normally non confrontational, you need to roll your sleeves up on this one (Even as just a show of force), but if he calls your bluff, be ready to stand your ground. Do not break the law, but since he's stronger than you, I"d recommend bringing a bat.

Dude, you are giving the most piss poor advice. Holy shit.

Yeah, let me see your certificates of training for dealing with ex's. I want to know what ivyleague college you majored in to get these degrees of mastership with dealing with ex's. Because I don't seem to care that you have an opinion either way do I? I Just throw my advice out there and leave it to rot.

Fuck you and fuck your assessment of my advice.

Yikes. I'm sure you have dealt with a lot of exes...poorly.

Nope, 13 years with my wife, still with her since high school. Your poor assumptions are growing desperate.
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weekoldhotdog posted...

I like how everyone tells you to be a wuss and walk away instead of taking the fight to HIM and telling him to fuck off. Stop talking to your gf of he's going to get his car smashed in one night.

Stand your ground or you will never keep a woman.

Don't even tell him, just go let the air out of his tires. Nothing serious but will fuck up his day for about an hour.
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Let's not get tc to fight a guy more jacked than him

Seems like a good idea. Let's get the TC arrested for physically assaulting someone and still ruining the relationship.
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Ive never thought about confronting him. Im usually not one for confrontation.

However! I did send him a message on Facebook. He hasnt opened it so Im probably right to assume it went to his junk folder. I wish I could kick the shit out of him, but is that the answer?

She is also to blame
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