Current Events > Tinder/Okcupid/ etc General

(+) Yeah! (+)

Whats happening fellas
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Talking to a girl. Probably gonna go out with her this week.
But based off her pics I can't tell if she is a good level of thickness, or too thick...
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I met this chubby 21 year old who is majoring in Political Science and is working on some congresswomans campaign

That's a win for me because my BA is in Political Science and I'm working on getting my MS in the same field and I am a literal campaign manager for a congressional candidate so I am looking forward to talking to her more.

Bumbling and possibly meeting up soon with a very pretty Brazilian girl who is super not over her ex, so Im just looking to maybe have some fun
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why can't we keep this alive

i'm not really interested in doing the dating thing but i reinstalled tinder and have 14 matches. one girl sent me a gif message first

my friend who i dated for a few months that just dumped me wants us to just be bffs again. we're hanging out tonight. i figure my options are sit around being sad, or have a friend to spend time with idk
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the average man is unfuckable

the average woman gets blasted by limitless chad dick
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How much do you think it matters that I have a beard right now and I dont in any of my tinder pics?
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TheGoldenEel posted...

How much do you think it matters that I have a beard right now and I dont in any of my tinder pics?

Just mention it in your bio or in your conversations and you're good.
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Gave a girl my number and she responded with:

Her: Ugh I hate texting at the moment lol

Me:Why's that?

Her: Bc have two phones. The good one I just got I'm using and has no mins yet. My old one is still on a plan so I'm letting it run out and it's shitty and slow asf

Her: Sometimes I use it

*blinks rapidly*
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billcom6 posted...

TheGoldenEel posted...

How much do you think it matters that I have a beard right now and I dont in any of my tinder pics?

Just mention it in your bio or in your conversations and you're good.

Doesnt that also maybe indicate my pics are out of date

I dont have any good pics of me with a beard (that arent with my family or a girl)
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"I like my men like my milk.... white and in the 1%"

WOW
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A girl on tinder just sent me the gif of the girl getting hit in the face with hot dogs
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Been talking to this girl for a couple days, we almost hung out Friday but she picked up a shift at work but she said "lets for sure make plans for another day."
So we been talking pretty consistently the last few days so I ask her if she wants to make plans for this week.
No response for an entire day.
So I just send an emoji to send something, she sends an emoji back, but doesn't' answer the making plans question.
So I repeat it. No response.
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TheGoldenEel posted...

A girl on tinder just sent me the gif of the girl getting hit in the face with hot dogs

she's really cute too

now we're chatting and she's responding quick

i'm just about done getting my hopes up with anything now though, we'll see what happens. we probably meet up for a date that feels like it went well and then she never wants to see me again

i've seen my friend (feels weird calling her an "ex" since our friendship was bigger than that) three times since friday. friday she said "just get in my life already" and then texted me at like midnight to drop off leftover snacks. saturday i went to her place to watch tv and we fell asleep after a few episodes. she just left today, came straight from work, we had pizza and hung out.

it's weird because i think for her it's just the way she's always wanted us to be (truly "friend-zoned") but for me i just don't get why this person who wants to spend all this time with me still doesn't want to be dating :/
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Manlets of CE, how do you feel about taller women?

as a 5'7" dude I find that only going for shorter girls is limiting, but at the same time if I meet someone through Tinder or something where I don't list my height, I feel weird about showing up shorter than the girl.

just matched with a girl who is clearly taller than me but is also just that kind of plain brunette nerdy chick i like
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Holy fuck

I actually matched with someone on this app.
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TheGoldenEel posted...

Manlets of CE, how do you feel about taller women?

I personally would give a little breathing room -- at 5'8'', I'd probably cap a partner's height at 5'11''.

Exceptions can be made if she's hot as fuck.

On-topic: Went on a second date with a fetlife chick. We went out to a hookah bar and got dinner. She seemed to enjoy herself. I think she wanted me to kiss her goodnight because she sat in the front seat for a good minute or so after pulling up to her apartment, but the last thing I wanted to do was kiss her with my breath smelling like tobacco and lamb (even though hers surely smelled the same).
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My second match. I think she's real boys!
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At the risk of being too pathetic (w/e no one I know is reading this*)

I have a bunch of matches now but I just can't find the motivation to even bother trying with this anymore. I've met so many people over the years with so little to show for it and it just feels foolish to keep doing the same thing.

and yet, I don't even know what I would change. I think I'm doing pretty well in all the things that would make me desirable? And the problem is almost always something like "I like you and you're good looking, but something feels off. I'm sure you'll do fine finding someone". And I don't and haven't so hearing that sort of thing over and over again is just demoralizing at this point

*almost
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honestly how long does it take to get a match on tinder?
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You just gotta keep pushing bro

I wish I could get matches.
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mach25687 posted...

honestly how long does it take to get a match on tinder?

I reinstalled tinder ten days ago and I have 20 matches
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TheGoldenEel posted...

mach25687 posted...

honestly how long does it take to get a match on tinder?

I reinstalled tinder ten days ago and I have 20 matches

wow I suck
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Blue_Inigo posted...

You just gotta keep pushing bro

I wish I could get matches.

Some people just never find someone

Maybe Im one of those people

Seriously Ive met probably over 100 people through various dating sites and Ive only ever dated one (for 9 months, and I really only stayed with her to not be aloneI knew it wasnt going to last)

I cant seem to keep someone around and I dont know what Im doing wrong
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TheGoldenEel posted...

mach25687 posted...

honestly how long does it take to get a match on tinder?

I reinstalled tinder ten days ago and I have 20 matches

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Thats what fucks me up though

Like I can get dates with relative ease. Its just when I meet them that it doesnt work

Its one thing to be rejected by anonymous internet strangers (and tbh a change in style or working out can do wonders for that sort of thing), its another entirely to get a constant stream of sorry youre not quite good enough from actual people
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Should I just say fuck it and message all of them and see what happens

Two of them messaged me first
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Might as well. You reinstalled tinder for a reason
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emblem boy posted...

Might as well. You reinstalled tinder for a reason

Mainly so I have something to do when taking a shit

If I wanted to actually meet people Id install bumble or okcupid
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My gf hasn't finished college cause she just fucked up when she was younger. But she's started back up. So she was telling me how much in loans she has, 44k.

I was like, wtf. Shit like that worries me.
This is something I should be thinking about correct? Cause now when she mentions she wants to go on a trip, in my head I'm like"you don't got traveling money"
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TheGoldenEel posted...

it's weird because i think for her it's just the way she's always wanted us to be (truly "friend-zoned") but for me i just don't get why this person who wants to spend all this time with me still doesn't want to be dating :/

Sometimes you can get along great with someone and want to spend time with them, but you just don't have romantic feelings for them. I've been like that with girlfriends and tried to de-escalate it to a friendship, because while they could be great people and attractive and everything, it can take a different kind of compatibility to be a great friend vs a great relationship partner.

Not that the two necessarily have to be mutually exclusive
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TheGoldenEel posted...

its another entirely to get a constant stream of sorry youre not quite good enough from actual people

Welcome to my life.

"I like you and you're good looking, but something feels off. I'm sure you'll do fine finding someone". And I don't and haven't so hearing that sort of thing over and over again is just demoralizing at this point

It really is demoralizing. I suggest nit dwelling on the failures, and instead focusing on all the successes you've had. Sure, you may not be getting the relationships you want, but look at all the women willing to give you a chance, go out with, be with you intimately. You seriously do have a real shot.
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I met a girl from pof last Friday.
Im 33, have my own place, work at an insurance company.

Shes 25, has an associates.....works at Wendy's, lives at home.
But she's really cool and cute, you don't think that's too young?
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InYourWalls1 posted...

TheGoldenEel posted...

it's weird because i think for her it's just the way she's always wanted us to be (truly "friend-zoned") but for me i just don't get why this person who wants to spend all this time with me still doesn't want to be dating :/

Sometimes you can get along great with someone and want to spend time with them, but you just don't have romantic feelings for them. I've been like that with girlfriends and tried to de-escalate it to a friendship, because while they could be great people and attractive and everything, it can take a different kind of compatibility to be a great friend vs a great relationship partner.

Not that the two necessarily have to be mutually exclusive

What's the difference in those 2 things?

JustMyOpinion posted...

emblem boy posted...

My gf hasn't finished college cause she just fucked up when she was younger. But she's started back up. So she was telling me how much in loans she has, 44k.

I was like, wtf. Shit like that worries me.
This is something I should be thinking about correct? Cause now when she mentions she wants to go on a trip, in my head I'm like"you don't got traveling money"

What's her degree/job prospects? $44k isn't too bad. That's probably less than $500 a month...but for like ten years.

She's looking to work in the administration/business side of healthcare industry or something.

I want to talk about it with her, but what good would that even do. It doesn't change anything
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TheGoldenEel posted...

Thats what fucks me up though

Like I can get dates with relative ease. Its just when I meet them that it doesnt work

Its one thing to be rejected by anonymous internet strangers (and tbh a change in style or working out can do wonders for that sort of thing), its another entirely to get a constant stream of sorry youre not quite good enough from actual people

My guess would be you're not sparking the right emotions within them for them to want to go further. Generally meaning you aren't sparking the right sexual emotions in them.

You seem to have no problem getting the date so you clearly pass that test. The problem with the "being sexy" part is that it comes down to many different factors including but not necessarily limited to

-Your walk
-The way you talk (voice deepness, tone, not shaky, slowly)
-Mannerisms

On top of the above, you might need to get your conversation skills down a bit better. Are you talking too much when you meet them? Judging (whether implicitly or explicitly), not going deep enough in the conversations?

I mean it's pretty much gotta be somewhere in there.
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Twin3Turbo posted...

TheGoldenEel posted...

Thats what fucks me up though

Like I can get dates with relative ease. Its just when I meet them that it doesnt work

Its one thing to be rejected by anonymous internet strangers (and tbh a change in style or working out can do wonders for that sort of thing), its another entirely to get a constant stream of sorry youre not quite good enough from actual people

My guess would be you're not sparking the right emotions within them for them to want to go further. Generally meaning you aren't sparking the right sexual emotions in them.

You seem to have no problem getting the date so you clearly pass that test. The problem with the "being sexy" part is that it comes down to many different factors including but not necessarily limited to

-Your walk
-The way you talk (voice deepness, tone, not shaky, slowly)
-Mannerisms

On top of the above, you might need to get your conversation skills down a bit better. Are you talking too much when you meet them? Judging (whether implicitly or explicitly), not going deep enough in the conversations?

I mean it's pretty much gotta be somewhere in there.

Yeah and that stuff boils down to change your personality in some nebulous way and thats way easier said than done especially when I dont know what the problem is
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emblem boy posted...

I was like, wtf. Shit like that worries me.
This is something I should be thinking about correct? Cause now when she mentions she wants to go on a trip, in my head I'm like"you don't got traveling money"

Definitely something to think about in conjunction with her other habits. Because having debt and spending on luxuries can be mitigated by her being generally responsible/having a budget and all that. If she just spends frivolously it's more of a red flag obviously

emblem boy posted...

What's the difference in those 2 things?

I don't think I can answer this in a satisfactory way - I've generally found it to be a more intuitive feeling and I'm not always able to place it. But being in a relationship generally (and ideally) demands more openness and responsibility than being a friend imo, and when you're constantly in close quarters with someone like that (physically and emotionally) personality traits are amplified and can become grating if they're not suited to each other.

Granted, that might be a problem that can be solved with communication and compromise - Darkman once recommended a book called "The 5 Love Languages" or something that was about the different ways certain people express and expect affection and how those can clash, that might be instructive here
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she just invited me over for dinner tonight

i hate this v_v
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I think I am going to reinstall tinder, bumble, pof and ockupid.

I am chill talking to 2 girls but both are so casual and infrequent.

Got two prospects

22, she was busy this weekend but we will probably hang out next week/weekend

31, we are gonna go grab drinks Saturday
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TheGoldenEel posted...

Manlets of CE, how do you feel about taller women?

as a 5'7" dude I find that only going for shorter girls is limiting, but at the same time if I meet someone through Tinder or something where I don't list my height, I feel weird about showing up shorter than the girl.

just matched with a girl who is clearly taller than me but is also just that kind of plain brunette nerdy chick i like

@TheGoldenEel - I'm 5'9" and I refuse to date any woman taller than 5'6". Heck, one of the girls I'm chasing now is 4'11" and I love it. I think it is perfect when a woman can wear heels and be eye-to-eye with me. I don't like being shorter than a woman at all, so their personality would have to be pretty special for me to get over it. It's definitely an insecurity thing, and I own it.
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See its not that I personally care that muchId date someone a few inches taller than me (and I have). Its more that there are women for which thats a deal breaker and I just try not to even test it

On the flip side I dated a girl once who was that short (410) and it was weird; it was like dating a child
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Just matched with a 20 year old, but she looks sort of younger than that...
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billcom6 posted...

Just matched with a 20 year old, but she looks sort of younger than that...

Some people look young

I dated a 23 year old who got carded for R-rated movies
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TheGoldenEel posted...

billcom6 posted...

Just matched with a 20 year old, but she looks sort of younger than that...

Some people look young

I dated a 23 year old who got carded for R-rated movies

After talking to her for a few minutes I asked her where shes going to school she said "the high school"

so that was a quick unmatch
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Haha. And aren't you a high school teacher
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emblem boy posted...

Haha. And aren't you a high school teacher

5th grade, but it is still not cool to match with a high schooler, not that it really matter but she went to the high school in the district next to mine instead of my actual district
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I wasnt going to drink this weekend (havent had a drink since New Years) and now Im drinking/at a concert with my friend/ex-girlfriend

Its a bit tense
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