Current Events > I JUST started dating this girl and she wants me to go on trips w/her

(+) Yeah! (+)

Granted. Just a road trip to a town a few hours away. But she also wants me to meet her friends. Weve only hung out like 4 times? But were I guess officially a couple as of last night

Is this a red flag? Stage 5 clinger?
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More like she needs a ride
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TBH if you really think that's moving too fast, maybe you should tell her

I'd say 5 dates in isn't so bad

You guys are officially a couple now like you said (if your wink indicates what i think hehehe)

It's time to do fun stuff together like that
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Yeah... no. Last time I tried something like that with a girl, I ended up knocked out, in a bathtub filled with ice, and a thank you note for my kidneys.
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008Zulu posted...

Yeah... no. Last time I tried something like that with a girl, I ended up knocked out, in a bathtub filled with ice, and a thank you note for my kidneys.

I would upvote you if this was reddit
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RIP Tc
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Duwstai posted...

More like she needs a ride

Nah she has her own car and is a capable driver haha
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Have you watched 'get out' TC? Dont feel safe r even if your not black. It can happen to anyone, of colour.
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Cobra1010 posted...

Have you watched 'get out' TC? Dont feel safe r even if your not black. It can happen to anyone, of colour.

I have not. And I dont get your reference. Sorry man.
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I don't think it's a big deal unless you don't want people knowing your dating. It's not like she is asking you to go somewhere for two weeks. It's kind of cute she wants her friends to meet you...she must think u are special.

Jesus Christ why would this be weird

Why is CE so weird with women
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Youll be fine. You should flattered that she wants you to meet her friends tbh
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mipond posted...

I don't think it's a big deal unless you don't want people knowing your dating. It's not like she is asking you to go somewhere for two weeks. It's kind of cute she wants her friends to meet you...she must think u are special.

Yeah I think she already loves me though and doesnt wanna say it because she thinks Id judge her.
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MFBKBass5 posted...

mipond posted...

I don't think it's a big deal unless you don't want people knowing your dating. It's not like she is asking you to go somewhere for two weeks. It's kind of cute she wants her friends to meet you...she must think u are special.

Yeah I think she already loves me though and doesnt wanna say it because she thinks Id judge her.

Or maybe she wants you to say it first

Ive met a large group of a dates friends on the literal first date before when bar hopping. Talking 10-15 people. Ive also met some family members of a prospective partner after knowing each other in person for just 4 days.
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You know, Im biased because I got burned by an ex that treated me like she was falling in love before dumping my ass out of the blue. She acted intensely into me most of the time we dated from an early point on. Friends and family first month, extended family month three, dumped three weeks later

Is it a red flag? No. She likes you, bro. She feels comfortable with you. Those are good things.

The issue with moving fast is that you can get caught up in butterflies without a stable foundation to back them up. So shes giving you these strong signs. You feed into them. Its going great, but you dont know each other super well yet. A month or two in, it strikes one of you that theres something missing. Maybe a side of your personality shows through no longer masked by those butterflies. Maybe committment terrifies one of you. So now youve got this intense emotional backdrop in a relationship that isnt going to work due to incompatibility, personal issues, or timing, and someone is getting crushed.
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mipond posted...

MFBKBass5 posted...

mipond posted...

I don't think it's a big deal unless you don't want people knowing your dating. It's not like she is asking you to go somewhere for two weeks. It's kind of cute she wants her friends to meet you...she must think u are special.

Yeah I think she already loves me though and doesnt wanna say it because she thinks Id judge her.

Or maybe she wants you to say it first

True. She also calls me love. Its getting kinda weird. Yet flattering
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MFBKBass5 posted...

Duwstai posted...

More like she needs a ride

Nah she has her own car and is a capable driver haha

Hes talking about a different kind of ride.
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EnragedSlith posted...

You know, Im biased because I got burned by an ex that treated me like she was falling in love before dumping my ass out of the blue. She acted intensely into me most of the time we dated from an early point on. Friends and family first month, extended family month three, dumped three weeks later

Is it a red flag? No. She likes you, bro. She feels comfortable with you. Those are good things.

The issue with moving fast is that you can get caught up in butterflies without a stable foundation to back them up. So shes giving you these strong signs. You feed into them. Its going great, but you dont know each other super well yet. A month or two in, it strikes one of you that theres something missing. Maybe a side of your personality shows through no longer masked by those butterflies. Maybe committment terrifies one of you. So now youve got this intense emotional backdrop in a relationship that isnt going to work due to incompatibility, personal issues, or timing, and someone is getting crushed.

Jesus. This is one of the most insightful posts Ive seen on CE haha. But nah. Ive done that in the past. Its different with this girl.

Shes actually super mature, honest, and VERY forward with how she feels and thinks. She wears her heart on her sleeve. We kinda just instantly clicked, even before the lovey dovey stuff. We have actual conversations about life, and talk about anything and everything.

Shes intectually stimulating, which I love. And I guess she thinks Im the same. Im actually fairly certain Ill be with her for a long time. Shes fantastic. Or Im just blinded by the *****.
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idk why overthink it
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MFBKBass5 posted...

EnragedSlith posted...

You know, Im biased because I got burned by an ex that treated me like she was falling in love before dumping my ass out of the blue. She acted intensely into me most of the time we dated from an early point on. Friends and family first month, extended family month three, dumped three weeks later

Is it a red flag? No. She likes you, bro. She feels comfortable with you. Those are good things.

The issue with moving fast is that you can get caught up in butterflies without a stable foundation to back them up. So shes giving you these strong signs. You feed into them. Its going great, but you dont know each other super well yet. A month or two in, it strikes one of you that theres something missing. Maybe a side of your personality shows through no longer masked by those butterflies. Maybe committment terrifies one of you. So now youve got this intense emotional backdrop in a relationship that isnt going to work due to incompatibility, personal issues, or timing, and someone is getting crushed.

Jesus. This is one of the most insightful posts Ive seen on CE haha. But nah. Ive done that in the past. Its different with this girl.

Shes actually super mature, honest, and VERY forward with how she feels and thinks. She wears her heart on her sleeve. We kinda just instantly clicked, even before the lovey dovey stuff. We have actual conversations about life, and talk about anything and everything.

Shes intectually stimulating, which I love. And I guess she thinks Im the same. Im actually fairly certain Ill be with her for a long time. Shes fantastic. Or Im just blinded by the *****.

Well, thats how I felt, too. As did family and friends. Everyone stared at me like I had a dick growing out of my forehead when I said welp, Caitlin dumped me.

So yeah, I will never not advocate exercising caution and restraint now. Advice from a broken man.
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My rule is never plan something further in advance than you've known them.

Anyways I don't think a road trip or meeting her friends is weird.
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Cj_WlLL_VVlN posted...

My rule is never plan something further in advance than you've known them.

Anyways I don't think a road trip or meeting her friends is weird.

Solid advice. Sounds like some Ted from HIMYM advice right there.
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EnragedSlith posted...

MFBKBass5 posted...

EnragedSlith posted...

You know, Im biased because I got burned by an ex that treated me like she was falling in love before dumping my ass out of the blue. She acted intensely into me most of the time we dated from an early point on. Friends and family first month, extended family month three, dumped three weeks later

Is it a red flag? No. She likes you, bro. She feels comfortable with you. Those are good things.

The issue with moving fast is that you can get caught up in butterflies without a stable foundation to back them up. So shes giving you these strong signs. You feed into them. Its going great, but you dont know each other super well yet. A month or two in, it strikes one of you that theres something missing. Maybe a side of your personality shows through no longer masked by those butterflies. Maybe committment terrifies one of you. So now youve got this intense emotional backdrop in a relationship that isnt going to work due to incompatibility, personal issues, or timing, and someone is getting crushed.

Jesus. This is one of the most insightful posts Ive seen on CE haha. But nah. Ive done that in the past. Its different with this girl.

Shes actually super mature, honest, and VERY forward with how she feels and thinks. She wears her heart on her sleeve. We kinda just instantly clicked, even before the lovey dovey stuff. We have actual conversations about life, and talk about anything and everything.

Shes intectually stimulating, which I love. And I guess she thinks Im the same. Im actually fairly certain Ill be with her for a long time. Shes fantastic. Or Im just blinded by the *****.

Well, thats how I felt, too. As did family and friends. Everyone stared at me like I had a dick growing out of my forehead when I said welp, Caitlin dumped me.

So yeah, I will never not advocate exercising caution and restraint now. Advice from a broken man.

Jesus man. Youre dark. I get exercising a small amount of caution. But idk man I think sometimes its ok to just yourself fall for somebody.
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Could be she got out of a longer thing and is missing that someone and wants you to fill in.

Or maybe not. Have fun :p
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MFBKBass5 posted...

Granted. Just a road trip to a town a few hours away. But she also wants me to meet her friends. Weve only hung out like 4 times? But were I guess officially a couple as of last night

Is this a red flag?

It is when she "wants to travel with you " because she wants you to pay for everything, especially the gas.
If she just naturally contributes her share to the trip without being asked, then she's fine.

I've seen guys get suckered into taking a couple's road trip with a new "girlfriend" and she insisted that they used her car....which just happened to either need repairs she wasn't willing to pay for on her own, or it was impounded, or she had some last payments on it, or new tires. After her rig was taken care of and ready to roll using the hopeful guy's money, their couples road trip immediately turned into a group one with her girlfriends. Then the guys got ditched after the trip was over.

Check your thirst before doing any favors, boys...
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ClockworkHare posted...

MFBKBass5 posted...

Granted. Just a road trip to a town a few hours away. But she also wants me to meet her friends. Weve only hung out like 4 times? But were I guess officially a couple as of last night

Is this a red flag?

It is when she "wants to travel with you " because she wants you to pay for everything, especially the gas.

If she just naturally contributes her share to the trip without being asked, then she's fine.

Thats a good point. So far on dates she and I basically take turns. Ill pay for a meal one day, then she will. If we go out to bars, we take turns buying drinks usually. First girl Ive ever dated who likes it equal. Shes a keeper :3
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dolomedes posted...

that's not a "good point" wtf

that's a cynical paranoid point

maybe she wants company because driving alone for several hours is boring and maybe she just likes your company

No, it is a valid point.

I didn't say all women who want a road trip with a new guy want to bleed his wallet dry. I implied that only some women do just that. Hell there's literally websites coaching them on tactics like that, similar to PUA crap for guys. That is something to be cautious about as a man looking for a relationship. Just like women have to watch out for red flags and dodge bullets in dating, men have their own share to avoid.

When a guy is thirsty as fuck for a girlfriend, the manipulative women pick up on that. It's clear as day. And they think of ways to exploit that for their own gain.

Not all women are like that; I would say not even most. However, manipulative users can also be female. That's a fact.
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ClockworkHare posted...

dolomedes posted...

that's not a "good point" wtf

that's a cynical paranoid point

maybe she wants company because driving alone for several hours is boring and maybe she just likes your company

No, it is a valid point.

I didn't say all women who want a road trip with a new guy want to bleed his wallet dry. I implied that only some women do just that. Hell there's literally websites coaching them on tactics like that, similar to PUA crap for guys. That is something to be cautious about as a man looking for a relationship. Just like women have to watch out for red flags and dodge bullets in dating, men have their own share to avoid.

When a guy is thirsty as fuck for a girlfriend, the manipulative women pick up on that. It's clear as day. And they think of ways to exploit that for their own gain.

Not all women are like that; I would say not even most. However, manipulative users can also be female. That's a fact.

Yeahhh this girl is genuinely a good person, I found that out very quickly once we started dating. Honestly, I might love her already :O

Also, she's not a gold digger hahaha. She's in med school to become a doctor and will make significantly more than me hahahaha
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