Current Events > Trump Considering Firing Dow Jones Industrial Average

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IdiotMachine 02/05/18 9:43:07 PM #1:	WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)After watching it suffer its worst losses since he became President, Donald Trump is seriously considering firing the Dow Jones Industrial Average, aides have confirmed. According to the aides, Trump is furious at the D.J.I.A. for going down so precipitously and believes that it has treated him very unfairly. Increasingly, the President has become convinced that the Dow Jones Industrial Average is not on his team, one aide said. Seeing the negative Dow numbers in the corner of the TV screen has been wrecking eleven hours of every day for him. Reportedly, Trump is mulling replacing the Dow with a new system, in which Sarah Huckabee Sanders would appear every day at 4 p.m. to announce how high stocks had skyrocketed. En route to an appearance in Ohio, Trump stopped short of saying that he would ask for the stock market indexs resignation, but his contempt for the Dow was palpable. The Dow Jones Industrial Average is a disgrace, and it should be very, very ashamed of itself, he said. Source: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-considering-firing-dow-jones-industrial-average ~~This is satire.~~ <cite>IdiotMachine posted [p:895539971] in Trump Cons... [t:76287634]...</cite> <quote><quote>WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)After watching it suffer its worst losses since he became President, Donald Trump is seriously considering firing the Dow Jones Industrial Average, aides have confirmed. According to the aides, Trump is furious at the D.J.I.A. for going down so precipitously and believes that it has treated him very unfairly. Increasingly, the President has become convinced that the Dow Jones Industrial Average is not on his team, one aide said. Seeing the negative Dow numbers in the corner of the TV screen has been wrecking eleven hours of every day for him. Reportedly, Trump is mulling replacing the Dow with a new system, in which Sarah Huckabee Sanders would appear every day at 4 p.m. to announce how high stocks had skyrocketed. En route to an appearance in Ohio, Trump stopped short of saying that he would ask for the stock market indexs resignation, but his contempt for the Dow was palpable. The Dow Jones Industrial Average is a disgrace, and it should be very, very ashamed of itself, he said.</quote> Source: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-considering-firing-dow-jones-industrial-average This is satire. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
BLAKUboy 02/05/18 9:44:02 PM #2:	What's sad is that it could be a real headline. Satire is dead in the Trump era. --- Aeris dies if she takes more damage than her current HP - Panthera http://signavatar.com/26999_s.png <cite>BLAKUboy posted [p:895540020] in Trump Cons... [t:76287634]...</cite> <quote>What's sad is that it could be a real headline. Satire is dead in the Trump era.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
untrustful 02/05/18 9:44:54 PM #3:	`Without knowing it's satire, there's a 50% chance people would believe it.` --- My Mario Maker Levels https://supermariomakerbookmark.nintendo.net/profile/untrustful?type=posted <cite>untrustful posted [p:895540087] in Trump Cons... [t:76287634]...</cite> <quote>Without knowing it's satire, there's a 50% chance people would believe it.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
wackyteen 02/05/18 9:45:19 PM #4:	It's become so hard to differentiate truth from fiction with this Trump Admin Trolls have to be having a field day --- The name is wackyteen* for a reason. Never doubt. *No longer teen <cite>wackyteen posted [p:895540112] in Trump Cons... [t:76287634]...</cite> <quote>It's become so hard to differentiate truth from fiction with this Trump Admin Trolls have to be having a field day</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Antifar 02/05/18 9:46:38 PM #5:	The Borowitz Report makes me want to eat a Tide Pod. Like even this lame premise could be improved if he didn't insist on using "Industrial Average" on each reference. (I assume it's New Yorker style to do so?) This joke works 50 times better if it's that Trump thinks Dow Jones is a person. --- kin to all that throbs <cite>Antifar posted [p:895540204] in Trump Cons... [t:76287634]...</cite> <quote>The Borowitz Report makes me want to eat a Tide Pod. Like even this lame premise could be improved if he didn't insist on using "Industrial Average" on each reference. (I assume it's New Yorker style to do so?) This joke works 50 times better if it's that Trump thinks Dow Jones is a person.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
E32005 02/05/18 9:47:17 PM #6:	BLAKUboy posted... What's sad is that it could be a real headline. Satire is dead in the Trump era. --- http://i.imgur.com/LAvnefi.gif http://i.imgur.com/6kW9fXL.gif <cite>E32005 posted [p:895540246] in Trump Cons... [t:76287634]...</cite> <quote><cite>BLAKUboy posted...</cite> <quote>What's sad is that it could be a real headline. Satire is dead in the Trump era.</quote></quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Freddie_Mercury 02/05/18 9:47:36 PM #7:	"Droopy" Dow Jones doesn't want to negotiate! Sad! --- I'm a sex machine ready to reload... when's sig emoji support thinking face emoji <cite>Freddie_Mercury posted [p:895540259] in Trump Cons... [t:76287634]...</cite> <quote>"Droopy" Dow Jones doesn't want to negotiate! Sad!</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
EmeralDragon23 02/05/18 9:47:59 PM #8:	It would not fucking surprise me. --- El Psy Congroo 3DS FC: 3952-7469-6840 <cite>EmeralDragon23 posted [p:895540286] in Trump Cons... [t:76287634]...</cite> <quote>It would not fucking surprise me.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Tyranthraxus 02/05/18 9:48:17 PM #9:	BLAKUboy posted... What's sad is that it could be a real headline. Satire is dead in the Trump era. the link literally has humor in the url --- https://puu.sh/tcLsT/24f4611235.png https://i.imgur.com/dQgC4kv.jpg <cite>Tyranthraxus posted [p:895540307] in Trump Cons... [t:76287634]...</cite> <quote><cite>BLAKUboy posted...</cite> <quote>What's sad is that it could be a real headline. Satire is dead in the Trump era.</quote> the link literally has humor in the url</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Current Events > Trump Considering Firing Dow Jones Industrial Average (+) Yeah! (+)

Current Events > Trump Considering Firing Dow Jones Industrial Average