Current Events > So, my wife just had her pregnancy test

(+) Yeah! (+)

And it was positive. I saw the results last week, and we took another test the following day. She's definitely pregnant. We've been trying for 3 years now and we've finally made it. It's funny how people usually say the circumstances are never perfect when your wife's pregnant, but in our case, at least for the moment, the circumstances couldn't be better. We bought a condo in August last year with more than enough space for a child, we've got both of our families supporting us, both of us have well paid good jobs, live in a good neighbourhood and all that.

For some of you mother and father CEmen and women, any tips, suggestions or warnings to when the big day happens, or even during my wife's pregnancy? I'm obviously ecstatic about it and think about it all the time, but I'm fucking scared at the same time that something could happen. I just want everything to go well so bad.

I'm not a father, but here's some advice:

Assuming you live in the US, be sure to figure out if your health insurance will cover everything when your wife gives birth. Some insurance companies consider the new baby the recipient of a lot of the procedures/billing and may simultaneously not cover the new baby themselves. It sounds stupid (the idea that a newborn needs their own insurance), and it is, but it does happen.

If you live in literally any other civilized, first world country, the above point can be disregarded.

winged_weltall posted...

And it was positive. I saw the results last week, and we took another test the following day. She's definitely pregnant. We've been trying for 3 years now and we've finally made it. It's funny how people usually say the circumstances are never perfect when your wife's pregnant, but in our case, at least for the moment, the circumstances couldn't be better. We bought a condo in August last year with more than enough space for a child, we've got both of our families supporting us, both of us have well paid good jobs, live in a good neighbourhood and all that.

For some of you mother and father CEmen and women, any tips, suggestions or warnings to when the big day happens, or even during my wife's pregnancy? I'm obviously ecstatic about it and think about it all the time, but I'm fucking scared at the same time that something could happen. I just want everything to go well so bad.

Being a father of a 4 year old, my biggest advice is do not have this child
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The fathers name is Raj.
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Good shit, man.
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Congrats on the sex
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I'm only joking of course.

You think you're prepared? You're not.
Let each day come and be there for your wife during the 9 months. They fly by. The big day is special. If you're a human being you will see that baby come out and you will feel something you've never felt. Parenting isn't taught, but learned. You may not have ever thought you'd love something so much. Can't describe it to non parents, because it's not something they can understand.
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Its not as bad as people say
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HydroCannabinol posted...

Its not as bad as people say

Sex?
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PhazonReborn posted...

I'm only joking of course.

You think you're prepared? You're not.
Let each day come and be there for your wife during the 9 months. They fly by. The big day is special. If you're a human being you will see that baby come out and you will feel something you've never felt. Parenting isn't taught, but learned. You may not have ever thought you'd love something so much. Can't describe it to non parents, because it's not something they can understand.

I want to piggyback off of this:

This may not necessarily be true. It especially may not be true for your wife. Not everyone instantly bonds with and loves their child.

That's okay. If you and/or your wife experience this, you're not "broken" or a bad parent. It happens to a ton of people. Statistically speaking, women are far more susceptible to it than men, but it can happen to you.

Congrats. :)

I'm so very happy for you both and so very jealous!!!! Enjoy this special time together. I can't wait to someday be pregnant and give birth.

Please keep us up to date!
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Man thanks guys, also for the advice. I've been come to CE daily since 2005, so since I was 15 and while it may be a little laughable it feel kinda special posting this here.

_Rinku_ posted...

If you live in literally any other civilized, first world country, the above point can be disregarded.

Thankfully I live in Switzerland, which is great when it comes to health care as a social service. But yes, I've been told even here to get a good health insurance before the baby is born.

PhazonReborn posted...

You think you're prepared? You're not.
Let each day come and be there for your wife during the 9 months. They fly by. The big day is special. If you're a human being you will see that baby come out and you will feel something you've never felt. Parenting isn't taught, but learned. You may not have ever thought you'd love something so much. Can't describe it to non parents, because it's not something they can understand.

I can't imagine what I'll feel. I'm a really emotional guy so I really can't say what I'll be like when the big day actually happens. I've never been this excited in my life.

_Rinku_ posted...

This may not necessarily be true. It especially may not be true for your wife. Not everyone instantly bonds with and loves their child.

My wife seems to be a little worried about this. I'll keep this in mind. I hope the bonding is instantaneous but if it isn't I'm confident it'll come in time with us.

mipond posted...

I'm so very happy for you both and so very jealous!!!! Enjoy this special time together. I can't wait to someday be pregnant and give birth.

Please keep us up to date!

I'll definitely keep you up to date. You can be sure I'll post about the birth with pictures when the day has come! Thanks!

Congrats
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First of all, congrats.

Second of all (and I don't wish to rain on your parade, but it needs to be said), you may want to hold your breaths during the first trimester as most miscarriages typically occur during this time, especially with couples that have difficulty conceiving (~20-25% miscarriage rate for such couples, but only for the first pregnancy). So be emotionally prepared if this particular pregnancy does not work out, but once your wife reaches the second trimester, you can both stop holding your breath so much and start planning for the big day.
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Paragon21XX posted...

First of all, congrats.

Second of all (and I don't wish to rain on your parade, but it needs to be said), you may want to hold your breaths during the first trimester as most miscarriages typically occur during this time, especially with couples that have difficulty conceiving (~20-25% miscarriage rate for such couples, but only for the first pregnancy). So be emotionally prepared if this particular pregnancy does not work out, but once your wife reaches the second trimester, you can both stop holding your breath so much and start planning for the big day.

This legitimately scares the hell out of me. We have people in our circle who've had to go through this and I really can't imagine going through something like that...

I bet it felt amazing cumming inside her.
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Patty_Fleur posted...

I bet it felt amazing cumming inside her.

Can't say it didn't man.

A few more things:

Your wife will likely bleed after giving birth. By which I mean, she will have a bloody, almost constant vaginal discharge for several weeks after the fact.

Depending on how your wife gives birth, she won't physically be able to have sex for a while (I believe six weeks is the minimum wait after a vaginal delivery). Related to that: if you don't want your baby to immediately have a sibling, use protection. Women can get pregnant almost immediately after giving birth.

If your wife has a c-section, the area where they make the incision will... how do I put this... it's basically guaranteed to turn into a little paunchy sack. Exercise and diet don't really help. My mother, a petite woman for her whole life who never weighed more than 130lbs outside of when she had me, still has it from where they had to cut me out. It's normal, but your wife might understandably feel self-conscious about it.

On the idea of "eating for two": you really only need to eat like 200-500 extra calories a day at most. And that's for your wife, not you, unless you want to get a jump start on your dadbod.

Those are just a few of the "things they don't tell you about pregnancy" facts I know off the top of my head.

Congrats!
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good luck to you and your wife.
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Congrats!

Advice: cram in anything fun now, because you're going to have significantly diminished free time once the baby comes.

Also, be prepared for the infant time to suck and just know that it gets better. You might have the super chill baby who never makes a peep and sleeps all night right out of the gate, or you might have the little bugger who screams all day and won't go to sleep, like I did. So plan on that and then anything else will be a pleasant surprise. This ties back to what the other poster said about not worrying if you don't have an immediate bond.

Last piece of advice is to remember every kid is different. Figure out what works for you and don't worry if your friend or grandparent or someone else thinks differently.
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winged_weltall posted...

And it was positive. I saw the results last week, and we took another test the following day. She's definitely pregnant. We've been trying for 3 years now and we've finally made it. It's funny how people usually say the circumstances are never perfect when your wife's pregnant, but in our case, at least for the moment, the circumstances couldn't be better. We bought a condo in August last year with more than enough space for a child, we've got both of our families supporting us, both of us have well paid good jobs, live in a good neighbourhood and all that.

For some of you mother and father CEmen and women, any tips, suggestions or warnings to when the big day happens, or even during my wife's pregnancy? I'm obviously ecstatic about it and think about it all the time, but I'm fucking scared at the same time that something could happen. I just want everything to go well so bad.

My daughter was born 2 weeks ago today

It is very scary and you'll have some panic attacks but don't worry.

The first trimester will be rough
The second trimester will be awesome
The third trimester will be death and destruction

Can't speak for anything past an infant, but make sure you have ALL your ducks in a row before going out to the hospital. Put the car seat in, try and organize the baby room as much as you can. Don't worry about buying clothes..if you have friends you will get plenty.

And anyone who wants to come over after the baby is born is required to bring diapers and food

Your baby will shit multiple times in a row when she's first born. First day mine pooped 13 times (its tar like at first too before they get on breast milk)

any other questions let me know. last word of advice...just keep up on everything. There is ALWAYS something to get done when the baby comes...keep active and enjoy the meaning in your life.

Embrace the suck and learn how to change diapers quick and efficiently

Thanks for all the advice guys!

winged_weltall posted...

any tips, suggestions or warnings during my wife's pregnancy?

Subscribe to amazon prime, make sure you're enrolled in amazon fresh and prime now with 2 hour delivery.

edit: don't cancel this subscription after the birth, either. you'll want it for shit like diapers or emergency (something you wish you had)
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Don't believe anything people tell you about two years olds and how that is "a terrible age"

Three is the worst age by far and three year olds are little mutant demons. Thankfully at least mine started to calm down a bit the closer she got to 4, but it was hell on earth for 11 months
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Something I wish people had told me over the laundry list of basic shit everyone knows anyway. Put a folded towel or something under the car seat or that shit will ruin your cushions.
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voldothegr8 posted...

Something I wish people had told me over the laundry list of basic shit everyone knows anyway. Put a folded towel or something under the car seat or that shit will ruin your cushions.

Great tip.

My back truck seats are permanently ruined because of a car seat
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1. Be patient with your wife in the last few months of pregnancy. The hormones will turn her into something shes usually not.

2. Everything else will come naturally once the baby arrives, given you guys are responsible adults :)

3. Congrats!
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My wife and I tried for 3 years before we had our first child (a boy).

As one father to a soon to be father, congratulations.

My one piece of advice is to make your kid growing up happy and healthy your top priority.
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voldothegr8 posted...

Something I wish people had told me over the laundry list of basic shit everyone knows anyway. Put a folded towel or something under the car seat or that shit will ruin your cushions.

Thank you for this. I will definitely take this advice!

PhazonReborn posted...

Three is the worst age by far and three year olds are little mutant demons. Thankfully at least mine started to calm down a bit the closer she got to 4, but it was hell on earth for 11 months

I have no trouble believing this. I hope he/she isn't too demonic.

DemonBuffet posted...

1. Be patient with your wife in the last few months of pregnancy. The hormones will turn her into something shes usually not.

Won't lie man I'm kinda scared of how she'll be when she's on those hormones.