Poll of the Day > Drama toppic itt

(+) Yeah! (+)

I'm drunk. Let's qyote each other and get into each other's shit

I'm depressed, threw away a future with a perfect girl and am cynical now because of it

How bout you

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Fuck you tc
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I'm alone and miserable. I don't know how to make friends, and even if I did, it's not like I would even be able to right now. I'm done with the spring semester, and since college was the only source of social activity I had during the week, I'm either sitting at home or going to work, now. When I'm at home, I feel like I'm ready to go mad from the lack of people with whom I can talk comfortably. I have no hobbies or interests that people are likely to share with me. Additionally, I don't know if it's a mental disorder or not, but I just don't have the ability to empathize or comfort other people when they're down. My family members do that for me, but I can't do it for them, and it makes me feel bad that I cannot reciprocate the gesture. It makes me wonder if I should even have friends or not if I cannot feel bad for them, or be able to comfort them, if I cannot even give emotional comfort to my sister. I listen to my mother sometimes when she talks about how she's even more depressed than my sister, but I'm not even sure that I'm even doing it correctly. She wouldn't care if I nodded along and pretended to listen to her problems. I do listen, but that's only because I care about what she has to say, unlike my sister, who I really don't give a damn about... In any case, I don't even know how to provide emotional comfort to my mother (besides the listening), so how the hell am I supposed to do that with a friend I might meet? Anyway, I really don't know how to make friends. Sometimes, people are friendly towards me; they even say "hi" and such and try to make conversation. But like I've said before, I really don't know how to hold up a conversation and mostly just reply with one-word responses that go absolutely nowhere. For the most part, though, I'm too nervous to even think of anything else to say, and I'm too nervous to continue the conversation. So people just get the idea that I'm cold and don't want people to talk to me, when in reality, I'm just too damn shy to talk at all. But I find that the one-word responses I come up with are sometimes only for topics that I have no knowledge of. So I guess it's okay? I mean, if it were a subject I were more versed in, like school, I'd be more ready to talk about it... But that's only one topic. In any case, these rare talks never lead to any friendships and such. They never do. And I'm afraid that they might. I don't know... I know it's stupid to say, but I think I'm afraid of making friends. I'm not used to people connecting with me on an interpersonal level. I haven't had an actual friend in nine years, and that was my cousin; I stopped being friends with him because he was always teasing me. It's not like I'm afraid that any friend I happen to meet will start teasing me, though. Like I said earlier, I'm just afraid of meeting friends, I guess. It's too damn frightening meeting new people and learning about them. I can't even do that online. Like, a few days ago, I joined a Discord server and people started welcoming and saying "Hi, Eclair!" And I'm here going ///. I left that server in less than a minute. So yeah, meeting new people frightens the shit out of me. I can't fucking do it, for Christ's sake. But I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. School's like the only venue I have for any social interaction whatsoever, so once I graduate, I will likely have more problems making friends after that. I can't talk at work because I'm really too damn shy to shoot the crap with my co-workers. I've worked there for over a year and a half, and have made no attempts whatsoever to make any casual talk or whatever with them. If I started talking casually now, they'd think it was weird. But the thing is, I'm still too afraid to talk to them, even now. If I ever move to another state after graduation, only then would I be alone and miserable for real, because the only people who have kept me company for my entire lifetime is my family. If I move, I really worry that I will live truly alone. That's partially why I fear moving out.
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Could you at least break that up into a few paragraphs, Eclair? : /
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No. The entire point of posting a wall of text is so that no one would have enough patience to read it; I want to vent but I don't want people to listen to what I vent.
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That's pretty ICOYAR-esque, tbh.
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Nothing ever gets better unless you actively take steps to improve your life. I have sympathy and understanding for those who are depressed or don't feel right often, but I have extremely little patience or want to help someone who can identify what's wrong and why, but never bothers to attempt correction.

It's simple. Things stay the same until you do something different.