Poll of the Day > Perspective on my Dad's dating suggestion needed

(+) Yeah! (+)

As one of you may be aware, I made an eHarmony account last month. After messaging multiple women, I have gotten absolutely no contact. So I decided to remove my radius limitation of 60 miles and hope that this month goes better.

So my dad asked me how it was going and I told him as much. Then he suggested why not look up dating websites related to video games?

I rolled my eyes, but he persisted. He says why not try? He thinks that is the type of woman that I would like to meet, and that it couldn't hurt to widen my search.

But I ask why bother? Those types of websites are very likely to be geared towards scamming in my opinion. They're likely to prey on Desperate neckbeards who no longer wish to spend their time on the internet with their left hand and want the real thing.

Going along with that, and even going so far as to assume these websites are filled with legitimate people looking to make a romantic connection, I still have my doubts. Isnt this just aa dorky, or embarressing thing to do? Goong after the clihe imagr of a hot gamer girl?

Or what If these kinds of websites are filled with women who do not meet my personal standards of physical attraction? (Not saying that I am some kind of male model. Just talking specifically about my personal tastes.) Or what if the women on these web sites do not share my basis of faith? That would be a deal-breaker and I have a suspicion that this type of crowd would skew towards atheists.

In any case I was looking for some opinions outside of my father who is anxious to get me hooked up with just about anybody.

Do you guys agree that this would be a waste of my time? Or do you think it would be worth taking a look? I'm not really wiling to spend even more time doing this if it's going to take up nore time, leave me without success, and just end up making me feel worse.
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just fuck as many bitches as possible

Is this for real
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faramir77 posted...

Is this for real

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JCvgluvr posted...

waste of my time

Yes. I'm pretty sure those sites are all empty. You'd might as well be talking to a wall if you signed up for one of them.
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FinalFantasyVII posted...

just fuck as many bitches as possible

Not my goal. I'm looking for a significant and meaningful relationship.

faramir77 posted...

Is this for real

This isn't one of Jen's alts. Trust me.

EclairReturns posted...

I'm pretty sure those sites are all empty. You'd might as well be talking to a wall if you signed up for one of them.

That's something I'm afraid of. I don't want to spend time on a site that has 0% chance of being helpful.
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JCvgluvr posted...

As one of you may be aware,

How many, exactly?

JCvgluvr posted...

After messaging multiple women, I have gotten absolutely no contact. So I decided to remove my radius limitation of 60 miles and hope that this month goes better.

Even if you're super-attractive and photograph well, it's going to be a numbers game because every woman on the site (except maybe the absurdly ugly) gets bombarded by every guy who stumbles on her profile, and each one usually sends multiple messages.

However, if you want to improve your odds, get a professional photographer to take your photos and maybe even hire a dating coach to help you with your profile.

And instead of removing your radius limitation (and going over 60 miles is just fucking stupid -- unless you live in the most remote part of Alaska, there are going to be potential partners in your area), try using some other dating services and hookup apps. Or go to a bar or club.
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JCvgluvr posted...

This isn't one of Jen's alts. Trust me.

does

does jen have a lot of alts?
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helIy posted...

jen have a lot of alts

Some people would argue that RC is another account that she owns, but the premise is entirely ridiculous.

JCvgluvr posted...

spend time on a site that has 0% chance of being helpful

I personally would not recommend it.
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I can't. I can't even.
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Dude gives solid advice.

When looking for a woman, you're not actually looking for just any woman no matter how much of an incel you are. You like video games so he suggests you pursue women interested in video games. You're being difficult being so rigid with what he said instead of picking up on the intent.
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I don't know if it's even around anymore or in what capacity, but there was a site called "gamertag pics" and I knew people that actually got married after using it. It was never a dating site, but it seemingly brought people together well. My wife is still friends with one of the couples we knew on there. We used to play Gears 1, Halo 2, 3, etc. as couples a lot back in the day because it was just more fun than being matched up with racist little kids.
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Are there any "gamer" dating sites? i've never heard of one.

Anyways, chances are you aren't going to find anything on them. Even if you are a gem amongst the thousands of unattractive, socially awkward men, chances are any woman there are going to be just as unattractive and socially awkward.
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Messaging multiple women could be 2 or 200. We dont have enough information here. What do you say in your first message?
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JCvgluvr posted...

I don't want to spend time on a site that has 0% chance of being helpful.

And yet you asked PotD for advice.

Online dating is difficult. There is an overwhelming number of men competing over a small pool of decent women, and decent women have to deal with sifting through dozens and dozens of messages, many of which harassing, trying to see if even one of the 60+ men who contacted her are worthwhile.

In online dating, a man is much more likely to have any luck by:

-Being attractive
-Having well taken photos
-Having a well written profile that stand out

and then just seeing what women contact him.
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Zeus posted...

And instead of removing your radius limitation (and going over 60 miles is just fucking stupid -- unless you live in the most remote part of Alaska, there are going to be potential partners in your area), try using some other dating services and hookup apps. Or go to a bar or club.

I live in a small midwest city of 60,000 people or so. Using the 60 mile limitation got me about 15 matches in total after a month of waiting. That's what I call stupid. I didn't see an alternative to opening my distance limitation. I'm also not interested in using hookup apps like Tinder. I'm not looking to score some dirty poon tang. The same goes for bars and clubs. Don't want to meet the women who go to those places. I don't even drink.

Smarkil posted...

I can't. I can't even.

The idea is cringy to me as well. Hence why I don't want to bother signing up.

Kyuubi4269 posted...

Dude gives solid advice. When looking for a woman, you're not actually looking for just any woman no matter how much of an incel you are. You like video games so he suggests you pursue women interested in video games. You're being difficult being so rigid with what he said instead of picking up on the intent.

I don't see it as solid advice. I see it as desperate dismissal of my concerns. Maybe you can back yourself up, and address all of the issues I brought up in the first post. If you can handle all of that, you might convince me. Not saying you have to do anything. But I won't believe you until you do. Especially with almost everyone in here backing me up on my aversion to the idea.

That sounds cool, TheCyborgNinja! But I don't see that working out for me, personally.

C7D posted...

Messaging multiple women could be 2 or 200. We dont have enough information here. What do you say in your first message?

Like I told Zeus, I was originally matched with about 15 women. I messaged one of them. (Didn't like the rest, or wasn't compatible with them.) And she checked out my profile, refused to reply back, and then ended the match connection, politely indicating she'd moved on. It happens. Since then, I've messaged 4 more women, after opening up my distance limitation. Some of them are a few hours away from me. But there's at least one chick I'm really hoping gets back to me! She's a cute disney nerd who listed tons of anime in her favorite tv section. Could be my kind of woman. =D

HillChange posted...

And yet you asked PotD for advice.

People are helping me right now. So your joke rings hollow. =P

CarefreeDude posted...

Online dating is difficult.

Yeah tell me about it....I've had absolutely no luck in real life, and I'm really hoping to get married some day. I'm turning 30 in a couple of weeks and haven't had a romantic relationship yet. It bothers me. I look young for my age, thankfully. So it's not too late. Rather than pine for my soul mate every day, I do my best to remind myself that I'm very blessed in my daily life, and I should just be grateful for what I have. But it's still rough sometimes.
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Go to a bar.
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Id recommend trying the dating site OkCupid. They do matching based on answers to all types of questions - you answer how you want, then answer with how youd like a potential mate to answer and weight that response with its importance to you. The more questions you answer, the closer of a match youre more likely to find.

I found my wife on there, so did my brother, and my sister met her gf on there (we could be their poster children).
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Try Plenty of Fish if you're gonna stick to online dating.

I know nothing of match or eharmony and the type of userbase they attract (I'm not interested in paying for these apps)

Anyway, this is what I've noticed:
Tinder - lots of bots, lots of girls just looking for that ego boost, and a handful of girls actually looking for something. I've met maybe 10 or so girls from Tinder and only one of them didn't seem like a complete lunatic

OkCupid - this one's probably the most rounded of the three I'm gonna talk about and where I had the most success. Idk if they fixed it, but the messaging system got royally fucked a few months ago and I closed my account. They turned it into a more convoluted Tinder.

Plenty of Fish - tons of obvious bots on this. It's actually a good thing, imo, because, unlike Tinder, it's easier to weed them out. Tinder bots are pretty well tailored. Not as many girls between 18 and 22ish use it, but I'm looking for older women (I'm 24 and have it set for 28-32) and have decent luck.

Idk. The only good advice I feel that I can give you is this - don't rush or put pressure on yourself for finding someone. Try and focus on yourself so that you're happy with who you are and try and use a relationship to augment it, I guess. Like, don't put your entire focus on having other people in your life, gotta have balance. I'm not saying you reek of desperation or anything, but I've just noticed that a lot of people on online dating (myself included) are trying to use relationships as a crutch for their lives that will only temporarily hold things in place..Idk.

why didn't you answer my question
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EclairReturns posted...

helIy posted...

jen have a lot of alts

Some people would argue that RC is another account that she owns, but the premise is entirely ridiculous.

idk, I saw a very compelling string board.

JCvgluvr posted...

I live in a small midwest city of 60,000 people or so. Using the 60 mile limitation got me about 15 matches in total after a month of waiting. That's what I call stupid. I didn't see an alternative to opening my distance limitation. I'm also not interested in using hookup apps like Tinder. I'm not looking to score some dirty poon tang. The same goes for bars and clubs. Don't want to meet the women who go to those places. I don't even drink.

...then try another dating app. eHarmony doesn't have nearly as large a userbase as many others. And you could also change your parameters so you turn up more matches.

In general, eHarmony was a big deal like 15 years ago but it's not terribly relevant any more. While I'm not sure what the best online dating site is (and quite frankly I prefer meeting people IRL), I will tell you that some of my friends, co-workers, and relatives met their future spouses on POF.

JCvgluvr posted...

Like I told Zeus, I was originally matched with about 15 women. I messaged one of them. (Didn't like the rest, or wasn't compatible with them.) And she checked out my profile, refused to reply back, and then ended the match connection, politely indicating she'd moved on. It happens. Since then, I've messaged 4 more women, after opening up my distance limitation. Some of them are a few hours away from me. But there's at least one chick I'm really hoping gets back to me! She's a cute disney nerd who listed tons of anime in her favorite tv section. Could be my kind of woman. =D

LOL! So basically your entire activity has consisted of messaging five woman? And you're wondering why you didn't have any luck? -_-

Either change your search parameters or use a different service. In fact, just use a different service.

JCvgluvr posted...

Yeah tell me about it....I've had absolutely no luck in real life, and I'm really hoping to get married some day. I'm turning 30 in a couple of weeks and haven't had a romantic relationship yet. It bothers me. I look young for my age, thankfully. So it's not too late. Rather than pine for my soul mate every day, I do my best to remind myself that I'm very blessed in my daily life, and I should just be grateful for what I have. But it's still rough sometimes.

Honestly, if you can't can't talk to women and convince them to go out with you IRL, you probably shouldn't expect to have much more luck online. If you're 30 and you've never been with anybody, you're most likely lacking basic skills. And while you might get lucky and just have a woman land in your lap, it's much more likely that you're going to require help of some kind. Otherwise you might still be stuck in this boat a few decades down the line. And talking about being grateful for what you have makes it sound like you're trying to get comfortable with the fact that you're going to be alone, which isn't the mindset you want to have.
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Zeus posted...

very compelling string board

I don't understand.
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EclairReturns posted...

Zeus posted...

very compelling string board

I don't understand.

Muffinz had a whole gag going for a while. I thought you were there for it.
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I can't remember. :(
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JCvgluvr posted...

Or do you think it would be worth taking a look?

Anything is worth a shot.
I'd be signed up to Tinder and all that shit if I wasn't a broke, unemployed bum!
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I have done dating sites a lot, but I eventually found my wife by going out. Went on a hike, and found her skinny dipping in a hot spring. Decided to join her and we hit it off
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CarefreeDude posted...

Went on a hike, and found her skinny dipping in a hot spring. Decided to join her and we hit it off

I wish I came across a woman skinny dipping on my walks. Mind you I doubt I'd have the guts to join her and probably would think she would think I'm being pervy if I did.
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wwinterj25 posted...

CarefreeDude posted...

Went on a hike, and found her skinny dipping in a hot spring. Decided to join her and we hit it off

I wish I came across a woman skinny dipping on my walks. Mind you I doubt I'd have the guts to join her and probably would think she would think I'm being pervy if I did.

Well, I did ask if I could join her.

Try hiking the Oregon wilderness, you just might find one
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it helps if you're ridiculously hot with a giant penis like he is, though

yeah, i've seen it
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helIy posted...

it helps if you're ridiculously hot with a giant penis like he is, though

yeah, i've seen it

She didn't know about the giant penis until after I joined her
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I already paid for a year of eharmony so there's no reason to talk anymore about that. This topic was about whether I'd be wasting my time going to specific gamer girl dating websites. And most people seem to think so.

If anything, maybe I'll try OK Cupid or Plenty of Fish. Are those seen more as hookup websites, though? Because I'm absolutely not interested in that. Serious relationships only, you know?
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JCvgluvr posted...

I already paid for a year of eharmony so there's no reason to talk anymore about that. This topic was about whether I'd be wasting my time going to specific gamer girl dating websites. And most people seem to think so.

If anything, maybe I'll try OK Cupid or Plenty of Fish. Are those seen more as hookup websites, though? Because I'm absolutely not interested in that. Serious relationships only, you know?

Girls go in those for relationships, guys for hookups with lonely girls
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TC, are you sexually experienced?
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JCvgluvr posted...

If anything, maybe I'll try OK Cupid or Plenty of Fish. Are those seen more as hookup websites, though? Because I'm absolutely not interested in that. Serious relationships only, you know?

Afaik, they're viewed more as relationship sites. I believe both brag about the number of users who have married thanks to them.
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JCvgluvr posted...

I already paid for a year of eharmony so there's no reason to talk anymore about that. This topic was about whether I'd be wasting my time going to specific gamer girl dating websites. And most people seem to think so.

If anything, maybe I'll try OK Cupid or Plenty of Fish. Are those seen more as hookup websites, though? Because I'm absolutely not interested in that. Serious relationships only, you know?

POF isnt really tailored to any one thing. I averaged a couple of dates a week from that site before I met my wife, also on POF. The town I lived in at the time was much smaller than the one in which you live.
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CarefreeDude posted...

TC, are you sexually experienced?

You should ask his dad.
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Kigalas posted...

Id recommend trying the dating site OkCupid. They do matching based on answers to all types of questions - you answer how you want, then answer with how youd like a potential mate to answer and weight that response with its importance to you. The more questions you answer, the closer of a match youre more likely to find.

I found my wife on there, so did my brother, and my sister met her gf on there (we could be their poster children).

I ultimately never created a relationship with anyone there, I only made the account for fun really, but I've actually remained friends with two women I met on there in 2005. It's a pretty good site, or at least was the last time I used it back then... I can't speak to it now. May as well try it.

I met lots of women online who became romantically interested in me simply by not trying to pick them up. We just talked and stuff and they'd come onto me to some extent. It's a hard balancing act. You can't look desperate/pushy but you also can't look like a coward.

Having interesting or disarming things to say and a great pic will probably do the most for you.
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I've been talking to this girl on eharm who went to Russia. Going well enough. She's responded 3 times today. She doesn't give many other things to talk about on her profile. So I'm not sure where to take the conversation next after Russia talk gets worn out.
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JCvgluvr posted...

I've been talking to this girl on eharm who went to Russia. Going well enough. She's responded 3 times today. She doesn't give many other things to talk about on her profile. So I'm not sure where to take the conversation next after Russia talk gets worn out.

Her hobbies maybe? What she does for fun? Find some common ground
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