Current Events > The truth about Joestarrr

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berrythebanana
06/14/18 6:30:52 PM
#1:


starting in post 2
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berrythebanana
06/14/18 6:31:02 PM
#2:


Vulgar/Vulgorn here.

With all the drama that's been going on, it's time for some fuckin' truth. If this gets modded, so be it.

Joestarrr is possibly the most toxic person I've ever met, and I'm tired of holding back on it. I don't give a shit if she thinks I'm talking shit about her behind her back. The previous confession about her leading men on then dumping them when she gets what she wants out of them is 100% accurate. She also has a massive victim complex. She will never see herself as being in the wrong, even while she goes around hurting people left and right. I've also recently cut her out of my life because frankly, she's become my trauma, and I can't deal with her being in my life anymore. I've been talking to Jo for a while before her and Deanshow got together and remained friends with her after they got together. We started talking in January. Most of this time we were talking literally daily. After Deanshow was super neglectful to her for the two months they were together, against my better judgement (because I liked and genuinely cared about her), I played the emotional boyfriend. Supported her when Deanshow treated her like shit, comforted her, cheered her up, whatever. Granted, I fucked up a bunch myself even up until the end, not going to lie. I'll take my blame and responsibility for those actions. A lot of it had to do with Deanshow treating me like garbage (knowingly or unknowingly) after knowing him for years from the CE tinychat, with Jo being related. This happened specifically after I said I would support the two of them, which I did unbiasedly. However, since we were all friends, I would always update her on what's going on. This isnt a Deanshow post, though.

When they broke up (and not going to lie, even slightly before the breakup), she began to latch onto me, told me that she loved me, encouraged me to fall in love with her, which I sadly ended up doing around that point, with the interest suddenly being mutual. Also against my better judgement. She acted like we were dating in the Sanctuary discord. We were basically nondating, even if she said that she was "confused about her breakup" with Deanshow. Apparently you can still love the people that abuse and enable you. After a bit of this, she began to aggressively flirt with other people in the Sanctuary discord. Immediately after making it look like we were dating to everyone. Before, during, and after this, we had talked about it a couple times but she refused to be clear about what she wanted. This went on for a few days of back and forth between us.

Eventually we mutually agreed to be friends because according to her us being together would be "unhealthy", which I was okay with despite having lingering romantic feelings over because I admired her drive and passion for nursing among other things. We agreed to be more mindful of each other and considerate of each others feelings, since in an effort to move on from her, I had also jokingly flirted in the Sanctcord a bit. But her outrage about that is more based in a perceived hypocrisy on my part than actually being bothered by it. And, to be honest, she did genuinely improve for a while there, but it wasnt what she wanted I think. I wanted her to become the most emotionally healthy, independent person she could. Because she wasn't. Which for reasons I'll describe later, she clearly doesn't want, even if at the time she said she did. She would also go on to say that she still really liked me in that way for a while.

I was always up front and honest with her. Even my negative points. At some points I would be, for the most part, the only person she'd seriously talk with. When she and CrimsonAngel started talking, she would show me screenshots about what they're talking about.
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Lost_All_Senses
06/14/18 6:31:05 PM
#3:


Nope
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There will always be exceptions.
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Lost_All_Senses
06/14/18 6:31:24 PM
#4:


Aw, 3 seconds off
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There will always be exceptions.
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NeonOctopus
06/14/18 6:31:50 PM
#5:


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berrythebanana
06/14/18 6:31:52 PM
#6:


I talked to her about how unhealthy it was because of Crim's history with her mental health and her tendency to emotionally abuse the people around her. (Granted, I like Crim and wish the best for her, and hope she gets the help she needs.) They ended up not dating. When she talked to Lan, she would send me screenshots of some suspect behavior and red flags from the stuff Lan would say. Now I don't know the full context of these statements, but honestly I'm kind of creeped out by him now. They ended up not happening, as far as I know, due to reservations on Lan's part. Lan will honestly be better for it in the long run. Now with Smoliske, she would send me screenshots of the shit he would send her. He told her that he loved her after two days. Made her promise to marry him almost immediately while she was drunk. Talked about fathering children with her within a week. She would send me these screenshots and she displayed discomfort. I reaffirmed how fucked up and creepy that shit was. When I asked if he was imposing a relationship on her, she said that he was. She would even openly display discomfort in the Sanctuary discord about her interactions with him, even if she didn't name names. In Smoliske's case, on top of everything, I think she "loves" him because he gives her blind affection, defends her publicly even if it makes him look bad, and enables her worst traits. But she would go on to continue talking to whomever she was talking to because they gave her affection, because that's what she wanted ultimately. Generally in most cases though, she'd reciprocate the feelings of love back to the person. Telling them that she loved them back even if it's only been a week. She even did that to Deanshow, even though in his case he did it to her first.

You see, the thing is, Jo's biggest problem is her ex-husband. They were in a strange, controlling relationship with one another before he royally fucked her over in unbelievable ways. Jo has been open about the ways he's damaged her. Particularly to me and in the Sanctuary discord. But, she's not over him, clearly. She constantly complains about how she wants to be loved, even while people are actively showing it to her. Even after I gave her as much love as I could because she was receptive to it and said she wanted to feel that way, she would later go on to say that she hasn't been loved in a long time after the fact. Not since her ex husband. Now here's the thing, yeah? As far as I've interpreted it with everything I've seen, she's dating Smoliske because her ultra creepy controlling dom nature reminds her of her ex. She wanted to date a mutual friend of ours because their discussions reminded her of her ex. She latches onto a bunch of people because she wants to feel loved, just like she did when she was with her ex. Even if her ex treated her like a bag of garbage.

She also has grown accustomed to being controlled in a relationship, both romantically and in her real life settings. You see, that's why she struggled with me. I pushed her to be an independent, self reliant, emotionally healthy person (again, at the time she said this is what she wanted). But she didn't want that. She wanted to be in her comfort zone. Have someone control her entire life while feeling loved, so that she doesn't have to make any decisions on her own. Plus, if something goes wrong, it's not her fault. Now, between hearing about her problems since we started talked, along with having front row seats to her cycling through unhealthy relationships, I'd developed a sense of overprotectiveness about her. In cases like this, if you care about them, you either do that or you get out of the way and drop them. But Jo has severe trust and abandonment issues, and I wasn't willing to feed them. I'd always give her advice as much as I could, even if she didn't specifically ask for it. She'd always listen to me pointing out the very obvious red flags, but she'd normally end up doing whatever she wanted.
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berrythebanana
06/14/18 6:32:07 PM
#8:


Which is her right. She can do whatever she wants. I never felt entitled to a relationship with her, and if anything a good chunk of my pain is from when she made it out publically like we were actually dating (even if she didn't say it outright), then moved onto other people without being clear with me. However, in hindsight, I will say that I should've made the second choice out of the game and gotten out of the way.

I don't think anyone feels entitled about her. I think she very aggressively flirts, and people catch feels, but she never outright denies them because she liked the affection she was getting from other people. Personally, I never actually cared if we were actually dating or not, moreso than I did being betrayed by someone close to me. She doesn't know how to say no or stand her ground when it comes to this kind of stuff. She just lets it happen. I have a theory it's so that she can always remain a victim. She's never wrong, after all.

Over the last 2 months, my emotional health has waned in large part due to Jo. Whenever I would talk to her, I'd get one word answers and deflections. Disinterest, basically. Unless she wanted to vent about some drama issue she's having with whomever. Whenever I would try to communicate how she's affecting me, she would give me short answers, never acknowledge anything I'd say. It's like watching your closest friend willing go onto a downward spiral, and allowing themselves to be manipulated. You see, I thought we were close, given all that we'd shared and been through together this whole time from January until June. It was a long six months and I took our friendship seriously. Sometimes she'd apologize because she thought it'd keep me around/the "drama" would go away, but she didn't actually feel sorry for her actions. She'd turn right around and go back on what she said immediately after without a second thought. Even accusing me of jealousy/being buttmad because she's giving attention to other people, but honestly I just cared about her and knew she was fucking up her life. She always said she knows whats she's doing, and I believe it. She wants whatever bad shit happens in her life. She's using unhealthy relationships with people as a substitute for getting professional help and therapy. Because she "wants to be happy". Even if it's a facade. She's told me before that she thinks she might have BPD or Bipolar (which is a big reason I supported her going to therapy), and while I don't know if she has those, I believe she has something.

As I mentioned previously, I cut her out of my life. Whenever she's around or comes up, I'm literally in physical pain. Like I said, she became my trauma. I talked to her almost daily for six months, most of the time about deeply personal shit. Plus with the history I've described, feelings and emotional investment were extremely muddled. Particularly on my end. She would never give me a straight answer on what I was to her. First I blocked her on everything but Facebook Messenger and told her why I was doing this. I wanted her to be able to contact me if she really needed someone to confide in (as she has been doing), because I didn't want to abandon her knowing her issues. Then I told her that I couldn't just sit there and watch her be online on Messenger and explained that I'm blocking her there too. After one of my friends called her out on causing people emotional pain among other things, she texted me telling me that it wasn't cool and that she knew it was me that talked to him. I explained I needed a support system. Outside of recently noting her toxic behavior, I've never talked shit about her, I've never given out personal information, and I've never painted her in a bad light. I always defended her where necessary if I was asking for feedback about certain situations from people that I knew and trusted.
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9I
06/14/18 6:32:14 PM
#9:


Hoth?

Hoth
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Nine I
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berrythebanana
06/14/18 6:32:52 PM
#10:


I then got wind of a post she made in that same topic replying to my friend about how Lan was *actually* a great person. Implying that I'm garbage, basically. At that point, I messaged her, told her that I'm glad the truth came out about her thinking I'm garbage. It'll help me move on, knowing that's how she thought of me, and gave her a definitive goodbye. I left her response on read, since it was just more of her regular deflections.

Ever since I've cut her out I've basically done nothing by talk about Jo and Smoliske and all the drama that's been going on the past couple days. The Sanctuary board is going nuts right now from what I hear. I wanted to get the truth out there, because I'm tired of Jo saying that we're in the wrong and that we feel entitled, when that's not the case at all. Particularly in my case, I feel. She's an enabler, and it's really sad. Even now, I want nothing for the best for her, which in my personal opinion after everything I've seen, would be to stop focusing on getting affection from people, get professional help to deal with her mental issues, and focus on her schoolwork and getting over her ex whom she's still clearly hung up on. But she'll never understand where I'm coming from, unfortunately, and I refuse to allow her to control my emotional health anymore.

If Jo decides to retaliate with personal information about me because of this, I'm okay with that. As Childish Gambino said, "So I learned cut out the middle man, make it all for everybody, always. Everybody can't turn around and tell everybody, everybody already knows, I told them."
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Mist_Turnips
06/14/18 6:33:10 PM
#11:


Tldr stop going after faceless message board "girls" like a sad little virgin.
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PanzerElite
06/14/18 6:33:23 PM
#12:


"she"
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What the goodness?!
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#13
Post #13 was unavailable or deleted.
#14
Post #14 was unavailable or deleted.
SHEF
06/14/18 6:36:11 PM
#15:


This is the real Vulgorn?
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Lost_All_Senses
06/14/18 6:36:18 PM
#16:


Summery: people in there early 20s acting like people in their early 20s....maybe high schoolers
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There will always be exceptions.
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joestarrr
06/14/18 6:36:24 PM
#17:


JustMyOpinion posted...
@joestarrr

Thoughts?


Plenty, but I have moved on from this mess and have no desire to retaliate or make TC's life worse.

I hope he eventually finds peace.
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you can't spell american dream without eric andre
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9I
06/14/18 6:36:38 PM
#18:


I like big gooms and I cannot lie
You other haters can't deny
When that girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and them power ups in yo face you get...(1-up sound effect)
Wanna get a 1-up
Caused you noticed them puffs was stuffed
Deep in the robes she's wearin'
I'm hooked and I can't stop starin'
OH BABY!
I wanna get wit yo!
And take yo picto!
Those haters try to troll me
But them shrooms you got make me go!(pew pew)
OOOOH!
Aki Goombah...
Wanna get inside those boombas...
So work it..Work it...
Cause you ain't no average goombette!
I see trolls yammerin'...
Ta Hell with their stammerin'!
Her curves are WHAM!!! BOOM!!!
Got it goin like a Gold Crown Shroom
I'm tired of stupid trolls criticizin' lovely rolls!
Get an average goom
With her in the room...
He'll get full bloom
SO Aki... Aki..?
You think them haters be wacky?
Then turn around Stick it out!
Even koopas gotta' shout
Goomba got back!
Goomba got back!
Goomba got back!

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Nine I
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Shadowplay
06/14/18 6:36:51 PM
#19:


Who the fuck is joestarr?
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Axiom
06/14/18 6:37:20 PM
#20:


Huh I wondered who was behind this gimmick. Also holy shit at the drama that's been on CE lately. I stopped reading somewhere in the second post but this part stuck out to me

berrythebanana posted...
He told her that he loved her after two days. Made her promise to marry him almost immediately while she was drunk. Talked about fathering children with her within a week.

Fucking yikes
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berrythebanana
06/14/18 6:37:25 PM
#21:


SHEF posted...
This is the real Vulgorn?

Yessir.
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Muffinz0rz
06/14/18 6:37:45 PM
#22:


Aaaaaand

Tag
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2018 NFLB Summersim (4-4): https://imgur.com/7cjNtgQ
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#23
Post #23 was unavailable or deleted.
SHEF
06/14/18 6:37:59 PM
#24:


Shame to have your original account banned. R.I.P.
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ReelBigMurlocs
06/14/18 6:38:31 PM
#25:


Bans should come with mandatory therapy imo
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You haven't set a signature for the message boards yet
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9I
06/14/18 6:38:35 PM
#26:


Muffinz0rz posted...
Aaaaaand

Tag

b7 no gif
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Nine I
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joestarrr
06/14/18 6:39:47 PM
#27:


berrythebanana posted...
Now with Smoliske, she would send me screenshots of the shit he would send her. He told her that he loved her after two days. Made her promise to marry him almost immediately while she was drunk. Talked about fathering children with her within a week. She would send me these screenshots and she displayed discomfort. I reaffirmed how fucked up and creepy that shit was. When I asked if he was imposing a relationship on her, she said that he was. She would even openly display discomfort in the Sanctuary discord about her interactions with him, even if she didn't name names. In Smoliske's case, on top of everything, I think she "loves" him because he gives her blind affection, defends her publicly even if it makes him look bad, and enables her worst traits. But she would go on to continue talking to whomever she was talking to because they gave her affection, because that's what she wanted ultimately.


Yes, I was uncomfortable at first because of how badly I had been burned (and he knows this, SO THIS ISN'T EVEN NEWS), but that has changed. I trust him to do the right thing by me, and of course he's going to defend me - I'm in a relationship with him and he has my back through it all.

I am comfortable with him and genuinely love him. @smoliske
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you can't spell american dream without eric andre
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Leanaunfurled
06/14/18 6:40:06 PM
#28:


berrythebanana posted...
Now with Smoliske, she would send me screenshots of the shit he would send her. He told her that he loved her after two days. Made her promise to marry him almost immediately while she was drunk. Talked about fathering children with her within a week. She would send me these screenshots and she displayed discomfort. I reaffirmed how fucked up and creepy that shit was. When I asked if he was imposing a relationship on her, she said that he was.

But he's safe, guyz.
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P4wn4g3
06/14/18 6:40:27 PM
#29:


Couldn't hear you over the wall of text
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#30
Post #30 was unavailable or deleted.
joestarrr
06/14/18 6:41:23 PM
#31:


JustMyOpinion posted...
Leanaunfurled posted...
berrythebanana posted...
Now with Smoliske, she would send me screenshots of the shit he would send her. He told her that he loved her after two days. Made her promise to marry him almost immediately while she was drunk. Talked about fathering children with her within a week. She would send me these screenshots and she displayed discomfort. I reaffirmed how fucked up and creepy that shit was. When I asked if he was imposing a relationship on her, she said that he was.

But he's safe, guyz.


You should listen to Leana, joestarr. She knows a lot about crap boyfriends.


Oh I know she does.
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you can't spell american dream without eric andre
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Leanaunfurled
06/14/18 6:42:16 PM
#32:


JustMyOpinion posted...
Leanaunfurled posted...
berrythebanana posted...
Now with Smoliske, she would send me screenshots of the shit he would send her. He told her that he loved her after two days. Made her promise to marry him almost immediately while she was drunk. Talked about fathering children with her within a week. She would send me these screenshots and she displayed discomfort. I reaffirmed how fucked up and creepy that shit was. When I asked if he was imposing a relationship on her, she said that he was.

But he's safe, guyz.


You should listen to Leana, joestarr. She knows a lot about crap boyfriends.

Sadly lol.
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Touch
06/14/18 6:42:18 PM
#33:


Here's my truth about @joestarrr

joestarr is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink.

"Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with joestarrr? She touches her neck as she watches me leave.

Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.

"Got a spare?" she asks.

"What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles.

"Conversation with me, duh."

I laugh.

"What's so funny?" she protests.

"Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?"

"You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter.

"What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask.

"Teaching, I think."

"And if I was your student, what would I be learning?"

"Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?"

"Bermuda," I say.

"Oh wow. That's lovely."

"It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking."

"What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires.

"I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
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berrythebanana
06/14/18 6:42:39 PM
#34:


Also I will say that Joestarrr taking "the high road here" is 100% certified bullshit. She's just trying to publicly make herself look good after trashing everyone that even remotely cared about her after the last six months. Perfect example of what I said in the original tl;dr.
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Muffinz0rz
06/14/18 6:42:40 PM
#35:


9I posted...
Muffinz0rz posted...
Aaaaaand

Tag

b7 no gif

Im on mobile :(
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eggcorn
06/14/18 6:42:55 PM
#36:


this place is like a gift that keeps on giving. what a ride.
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Warning: This post may contain triggering or distressing content.
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solosnake
06/14/18 6:43:08 PM
#37:


holy **** lmao
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Cleo_II
06/14/18 6:46:11 PM
#38:


Even now, I want nothing for the best for her


No, you dont. Or you wouldnt have aired all her dirty laundry for CE to see.

I dont know much about joe, but this topic says more about you than anything.
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andel
06/14/18 6:47:21 PM
#39:


lol gamefaqs serious business itt
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Muffinz0rz
06/14/18 6:47:40 PM
#40:


@edededdy
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2018 NFLB Summersim (4-4): https://imgur.com/7cjNtgQ
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Leanaunfurled
06/14/18 6:47:41 PM
#41:


joestarrr posted...
JustMyOpinion posted...
Leanaunfurled posted...
berrythebanana posted...
Now with Smoliske, she would send me screenshots of the shit he would send her. He told her that he loved her after two days. Made her promise to marry him almost immediately while she was drunk. Talked about fathering children with her within a week. She would send me these screenshots and she displayed discomfort. I reaffirmed how fucked up and creepy that shit was. When I asked if he was imposing a relationship on her, she said that he was.

But he's safe, guyz.


You should listen to Leana, joestarr. She knows a lot about crap boyfriends.


Oh I know she does.

Not sure how to take this.
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berrythebanana
06/14/18 6:48:21 PM
#42:


Cleo_II posted...
No, you dont. Or you wouldnt have aired all her dirty laundry for CE to see.

I dont know much about joe, but this topic says more about you than anything.

You don't know Joestarrr if you're saying that.
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#43
Post #43 was unavailable or deleted.
joestarrr
06/14/18 6:48:34 PM
#44:


berrythebanana posted...
Also I will say that Joestarrr taking "the high road here" is 100% certified bullshit. She's just trying to publicly make herself look good after trashing everyone that even remotely cared about her after the last six months. Perfect example of what I said in the original tl;dr.


Look. You publicly outed everything that's happened between us in the past 6 months.

I shared so much with you because I trusted you.

I didn't think a relationship between us would work, but I greatly valued your companionship and trusted you with information that literally no one else had about me.

I was clear with you when I said I wasn't interested in a relationship. I thought our personalities were incompatible, and was hesitant to start something and have it crash and burn.

Yes, I made mistakes - such as trusting you (and others), and flirting as much as I did. I should have toned it back because that probably gave mixed signals.

I am sorry I wounded you so much, and I really wish you'll forgive me one day.

Outing me like this isn't acceptable, though.
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Abyssea
06/14/18 6:49:08 PM
#45:


i love this tea. i dont know any of these people but i love drama nonetheless.
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berrythebanana
06/14/18 6:50:42 PM
#46:


joestarrr posted...
Look. You publicly outed everything that's happened between us in the past 6 months.

I shared so much with you because I trusted you.

I didn't think a relationship between us would work, but I greatly valued your companionship and trusted you with information that literally no one else had about me.

I was clear with you when I said I wasn't interested in a relationship. I thought our personalities were incompatible, and was hesitant to start something and have it crash and burn.

Yes, I made mistakes - such as trusting you (and others), and flirting as much as I did. I should have toned it back because that probably gave mixed signals.

I am sorry I wounded you so much, and I really wish you'll forgive me one day.

Outing me like this isn't acceptable, though.

You've been trashing everyone that's cared about you constantly for the past 2-3 days. Myself included. Literally calling me garbage. I don't care how acceptable it is. I'm not going to let you sit here, lie and slander the many, many people you've lead on. Not to mention dump on the people that actually were supportive to you.
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solosnake
06/14/18 6:50:46 PM
#47:


@Harpie_

why didnt you try to talk him out of this
smh some people just like to watch the world burn.

eats popcorn
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berrythebanana
06/14/18 6:51:52 PM
#48:


With that, I'm logging out. No more input from Vulgar on this one. Deuces.
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Lost_All_Senses
06/14/18 6:52:08 PM
#49:


berrythebanana posted...
Also I will say that Joestarrr taking "the high road here" is 100% certified bullshit. She's just trying to publicly make herself look good after trashing everyone that even remotely cared about her after the last six months. Perfect example of what I said in the original tl;dr.


It's not hard to look like you're on a high road when the first person takes such a low road. No one asked for any of these. Yet you wrote like 3-4 pages.
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Wonderbrablvd
06/14/18 6:52:14 PM
#50:


Fucking. Rich. Best week of CE in years.
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Kazi1212
06/14/18 6:52:19 PM
#51:


solosnake posted...
holy **** lmao



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I don't know my gimmick
"Does that sound reasonable to you?"
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