Current Events > Welp the gf is leaving after 4 years AMA

(+) Yeah! (+)

Go!

what happened
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bob742omb posted...

what happened

We argue a lot and I say something she thinks is hurtful, and she's tired of it.

JustMyOpinion posted...

KhanJohnny posted...

bob742omb posted...

what happened

We argue a lot and I say something she thinks is hurtful, and she's tired of it.

What'd you say? Context?

Don't remember exactly how the argument came about, but I said something to the effect that I give her a ton of emotional support and she gives nothing to the relationship.

I always backtrack from the language I use when I'm angry, but she's had enough.

It's so weird because she obviously still loves me and we even fucked a few times through this breakup process, but she says she's afraid I'll keep hurting her.

Are you actually saying hurtful things, though? ARE you hurting her? People who lack empathy may not realize the words that come out of their mouth.

If it's a frequent thing then she's only making the right decision

Metro2 posted...

Are you actually saying hurtful things, though? People who lack empathy may not realize the words that come out of their mouth.

When I get really angry I lose my empathy and control, and can shoot out hurtful comments.

I've tried explaining that those aren't my real feelings, to no avail.

KhanJohnny posted...

Metro2 posted...

Are you actually saying hurtful things, though? People who lack empathy may not realize the words that come out of their mouth.

When I get really angry I lose my empathy and control, and can shoot out hurtful comments.

I've tried explaining that those aren't my real feelings, to no avail.

Yeah that's something you need to work on, because that's toxic

JustMyOpinion posted...

KhanJohnny posted...

JustMyOpinion posted...

KhanJohnny posted...

bob742omb posted...

what happened

We argue a lot and I say something she thinks is hurtful, and she's tired of it.

What'd you say? Context?

Don't remember exactly how the argument came about, but I said something to the effect that I give her a ton of emotional support and she gives nothing to the relationship.

I always backtrack from the language I use when I'm angry, but she's had enough.

Damn yo. If what you said is true well then you're better off. If not, well then you need to work on you.

I think it's true to an extent. She's fairly needy, while I'm pretty stoic.

But it was wrong for me to say she doesn't give me anything. I was just lashing out in anger, which I tend to do. I pleaded with her to let me take some time to work on communication so we can avoid future arguments, but she basically doesn't think she can go on.

whats the naughtiest thing you ever did with her?

do you think you corrupted her a little bit?
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Shut_TheF---Up posted...

KhanJohnny posted...

Metro2 posted...

Are you actually saying hurtful things, though? People who lack empathy may not realize the words that come out of their mouth.

When I get really angry I lose my empathy and control, and can shoot out hurtful comments.

I've tried explaining that those aren't my real feelings, to no avail.

Yeah that's something you need to work on, because that's toxic

Oh, I know I need to work on it. But it's a shame it had to go down this way.

We were right for each other in a lot of ways.

When people are angry or drunk they usually say what they really think, even if its blunt or somewhat needlessly hurtful. Women generally understand how this works but guys might sweep it under the rug and act like it doesnt hold as much weight as it really does. Even if, as in this case, theyre the ones who do it. She probably gave you a lot of chances to change and really did like you.
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masticatingman posted...

When people are angry or drunk they usually say what they really think, even if its blunt or somewhat needlessly hurtful. Women generally understand how this works but guys might sweep it under the rug and act like it doesnt hold as much weight as it really does. Even if, as in this case, theyre the ones who do it. She probably gave you a lot of chances to change and really did like you.

I didn't deny that those feelings had some root. Once I was calmer, I tried to explain exactly what I meant, and apologized a lot for the words I used.

But yeah I probably screwed this up for myself.