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Lord_Wombat 07/08/18 9:59:48 PM #1: |
I have an 11 year old from a previous relationship, and we have a 3 y/o together.
She recently came off of birth control (some little metal rod on her arm... Idk the details), and recently I keep hearing about how she wants another baby. I explain my reasoning for not wanting one, and she gets upset. I mean, it's not fair to deprive her of what she wants, but it's not fair to myself to do something I don't want either, especially a lifelong commitment. Any advice? --- "Sorry, sorry, just... Being a dick... Sometimes it's hard to resist the urge to ruin other people's lives... -William Murderface ... Copied to Clipboard!
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_OujiDoza_ 07/08/18 10:01:07 PM #2: |
Just say you don't think it a good idea. Simple.
--- R.I.P. Bilbo-Swaggins: Victim of the CommunistFAQS Regime |Brian-Dawkins|http://i.imgtc.com/5yil6xS.jpg. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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tripleh213 07/08/18 10:01:10 PM #3: |
babynames.com
--- Vote for Donald Trump Friend Code 3625-8252-9624 PS4 looks great ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Touya999 07/08/18 10:01:33 PM #4: |
Let me marry your wife. I will help out.
@Lord_Wombat --- Nintendo switch fc : SW-3862-0989-2485 Smile, Sweet,Sister,Sadistic,Surprise,Service.This is Low /(_) Tier (/_\)God <(_)> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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DarkFists 07/08/18 10:02:24 PM #5: |
Happy wife, happy life.
In all seriousness, it's best to have an honest discussion about it, maybe throw in a "right now" to the mix...if that doesn't work, I honestly have no idea. --- "The starting point is of the utmost importance, so trying to outdo oneself is just about right" ... Copied to Clipboard!
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wannabepranksta 07/08/18 10:03:33 PM #6: |
Divorce the slut
--- shut up and take my money ... Copied to Clipboard!
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3khc 07/08/18 10:04:22 PM #7: |
I'll have a kid with her.
--- ---- ----- ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Lord_Wombat 07/08/18 10:05:45 PM #8: |
_OujiDoza_ posted...
Just say you don't think it a good idea. Simple. I mean, it's not really that I have a good reason to not want one, I just... Don't. I'm 32, if she got pregnant today I'd be 33 when she had it, which means I'd be 51 when it's 18. That's pretty damn old to be trying to keep up with a teenager. I also don't want to go through the bullshit that newborns/babies bring, which I admit is pretty selfish. We do pretty well financially, but holy shit does it take a lot of money to keep a baby supplied with it's needs... I brought up adopting a slightly older child, but "it's not the same". I explained that it would be good for her, great for the kid getting a stable home, etc, but it's a no go. *Sigh* --- "Sorry, sorry, just... Being a dick... Sometimes it's hard to resist the urge to ruin other people's lives... -William Murderface ... Copied to Clipboard!
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KillerKhan420 07/08/18 10:06:32 PM #9: |
Just give it to her, and say after two that's it.
--- "I know how the business works because I'm a wrestling fan"-hulkhogan1 ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Rimmer_Dall 07/08/18 10:07:42 PM #10: |
Spread your genes.
--- "The cheese it yours turtles." ~ William Shakespeare ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Lord_Wombat 07/08/18 10:08:01 PM #11: |
DarkFists posted...
Happy wife, happy life. Yeah, like I said I'm already 32, and not getting any younger. Idk, we've discussed it logically a few times, but it always devolves into "omg whatever". She's great, I love her, but dude... I'm not doing it. --- "Sorry, sorry, just... Being a dick... Sometimes it's hard to resist the urge to ruin other people's lives... -William Murderface ... Copied to Clipboard!
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littlebro07 07/08/18 10:12:59 PM #12: |
Lord_Wombat posted...
which means I'd be 51 when it's 18. That's pretty damn old to be trying to keep up with a teenager. As long as you stay in shape that's fine. My dad was 51 when I graduated high school 8 years ago. My father in law is 47 and had a surprise kid 5 years ago. He's in great shape though so has no trouble keeping up with him. And honestly more and more people are waiting til their 30s to have kids. By that point they're generally well established adults (good point in their careers, own a house, etc) --- ... Copied to Clipboard!
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MedzXVIII 07/08/18 10:13:41 PM #13: |
Get snipped
--- Hi ... Copied to Clipboard!
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_Rinku_ 07/08/18 10:15:20 PM #14: |
Lord_Wombat posted...
_OujiDoza_ posted...Just say you don't think it a good idea. Simple. Anyone who would say "it's not the same" is not in the right headspace to raise any child, biological or adopted. Set your foot down about what you want and how this will affect the whole family. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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kingdrake2 07/08/18 10:15:43 PM #15: |
littlebro07 posted...
Lord_Wombat posted...which means I'd be 51 when it's 18. That's pretty damn old to be trying to keep up with a teenager. a man's prime goes away around 60 years. still have 10 years to enjoy after the kids are onto college. --- I'm pretty much Stu from Rugrats making pudding at 4 in morning because I've lost control of my life - Polycosm ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Metro2 07/08/18 10:17:37 PM #16: |
You're not selfish, man.
No one has a right to make you feel bad about this. Another kid will just bring misery and deprive you of free time. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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LockeMonster 07/08/18 10:17:54 PM #17: |
Wait, 33 is too old for kids? That's when most people get married nowadays.
--- "Scranton is great, but New York is like Scranton on acid. No, on speed. Nah. On steroids." FC: 3282-3258-0224 ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Raikuro 07/08/18 10:18:58 PM #18: |
It's never a good idea to bring a kid into the world if both parents aren't interested in the idea. Don't let her guilt you into anything, she's being the selfish one.
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masticatingman 07/08/18 10:19:07 PM #19: |
Your age argument isnt a good one. Men have new kids all the time in their late 30s and thru their 40s. The expectation is youll take care of yourself reasonably well. You probably wont depart until the new kid is in their 30s or 40s themselves. You really only have an argument as a guy to not have kids in your 50s on up...although you can still do it then too if you want. So yeah, hate to break it to ya but you got a long shelf life.
That being said, I feel for you I guess but having kids while possible is a pretty crucial aspect to hetero relationships and theres no easy answer. --- I am basically am I. Well, basically. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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rodu_jr 07/08/18 10:26:25 PM #20: |
fake your death, start over
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LinksLiege 07/08/18 10:26:55 PM #21: |
Sit her down and actually reach a point of agreement.
This isn't the kind of thing you can fuck off about for a long time. Eventually something is going to happen. --- This is LinksLiege's signature. It is fantastic. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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_Rinku_ 07/08/18 10:27:17 PM #22: |
masticatingman posted...
Your age argument isnt a good one. Men have new kids all the time in their late 30s and thru their 40s. The expectation is youll take care of yourself reasonably well. You probably wont depart until the new kid is in their 30s or 40s themselves. You really only have an argument as a guy to not have kids in your 50s on up...although you can still do it then too if you want. So yeah, hate to break it to ya but you got a long shelf life. Actually, new studies are showing that men's sperm isn't as... "good," for lack of a better term, as they get up in age. It's not as bad as it is with women and eggs, but the quality you produce definitely declines. Also, ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Sayoria 07/08/18 10:31:26 PM #23: |
Exactly my brother's situation, except the child from another relationship is from the wife's side, is about 9, and their together child is 2.
She wants a daughter. The kids are both boys. He doesn't want another. (Our family probably has a 2% chance at daughters. It sucks.) --- Japanese Crack: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5pzggr ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Fam_Fam 07/08/18 10:32:31 PM #24: |
vasectomy
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Tsukasa1891 07/08/18 10:36:05 PM #25: |
Lord_Wombat posted...
_OujiDoza_ posted...Just say you don't think it a good idea. Simple. You're not the one being selfish, she is as she is unwilling to compromise. That said, just get a vasectomy. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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WaffIeElite 07/08/18 10:45:12 PM #26: |
Get a vasectomy. Your body, your choice, right?
--- I have a signature. Apparently this is important, but I still don't have my secret cool kid decoder ring yet. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Lord_Wombat 07/08/18 11:08:51 PM #27: |
Raikuro posted...
It's never a good idea to bring a kid into the world if both parents aren't interested in the idea. Don't let her guilt you into anything, she's being the selfish one. I agree that it's not a great idea, and I won't let anyone guilt me into anything, but I gotta say she's being no more selfish than I am, it's just opposing views/sides of an argument. masticatingman posted... Your age argument isnt a good one. Men have new kids all the time in their late 30s and thru their 40s. The expectation is youll take care of yourself reasonably well. You probably wont depart until the new kid is in their 30s or 40s themselves. You really only have an argument as a guy to not have kids in your 50s on up...although you can still do it then too if you want. So yeah, hate to break it to ya but you got a long shelf life. Indeed. Never said it was a "good" argument, but it's the truth. I keep in pretty good shape, but I just view it as... Well, not too old, but too old for me. rodu_jr posted... fake your death, start over As far as a vasectomy, it sounds terrifying :V --- "Sorry, sorry, just... Being a dick... Sometimes it's hard to resist the urge to ruin other people's lives... -William Murderface ... Copied to Clipboard!
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MedzXVIII 07/08/18 11:10:29 PM #28: |
LockeMonster posted...
Wait, 33 is too old for kids? That's when most people get married nowadays. Having kids outside marriage has become a norm --- Hi ... Copied to Clipboard!
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sabin017 07/08/18 11:10:41 PM #29: |
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Returning_CEmen 07/08/18 11:15:46 PM #30: |
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SpinKirby 07/08/18 11:17:26 PM #31: |
freeze your sperm into an ice cube and then throw it at her every time she asks
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LinksLiege 07/08/18 11:21:25 PM #32: |
Lord_Wombat posted...
I gotta say she's being no more selfish than I am, it's just opposing views/sides of an argument. It's good to see you're being more mature about this than everyone here who's saying she's the selfish one and you're totally in the clear here. If you end up splitting over this, it's because both of you were unwilling to compromise. Not just one. --- This is LinksLiege's signature. It is fantastic. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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rikasa 07/08/18 11:23:13 PM #33: |
either you give her another baby or Chad will. she pciked you cuz you were a proven breeder, don't act like you aren't all of a sudden
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Lord_Wombat 07/08/18 11:23:32 PM #34: |
LinksLiege posted...
Lord_Wombat posted...I gotta say she's being no more selfish than I am, it's just opposing views/sides of an argument. Nah, that's already came up, and wouldn't happen. Well, obviously nobody is psychic, but as of right now it's not a possibility. --- "Sorry, sorry, just... Being a dick... Sometimes it's hard to resist the urge to ruin other people's lives... -William Murderface ... Copied to Clipboard!
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WellKnownNomad 07/08/18 11:25:18 PM #36: |
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Lord_Wombat 07/08/18 11:26:32 PM #37: |
_Rinku_ posted...
Lord_Wombat posted..._OujiDoza_ posted...Just say you don't think it a good idea. Simple. Missed this earlier. It's not different because it's not biological, I guess it's different because she wants the little baby to take care of that depends on her and whatnot. --- "Sorry, sorry, just... Being a dick... Sometimes it's hard to resist the urge to ruin other people's lives... -William Murderface ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Lord_Wombat 07/08/18 11:28:30 PM #38: |
tote_all posted...
Lord_Wombat posted... It's a little metal rod that went in her arm that magically kept her from getting pregnant. I have no idea how it works, so yeah, I guess I'm just terrible --- "Sorry, sorry, just... Being a dick... Sometimes it's hard to resist the urge to ruin other people's lives... -William Murderface ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Axiom 07/08/18 11:29:08 PM #39: |
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SpinKirby 07/08/18 11:29:38 PM #40: |
I know it helps to talk about it, but nobody knows your wife better that you...or so I hope.
You should be able to judge whether she's making a brash or misguided decision and act accordingly. Other than that, I don't know what you're specifically going to get out of talking to us on here. --- MHW Supplemental Discord: https://discord.gg/ChHjtYQ https://imgur.com/QL6WJAl https://imgur.com/lGlcDyU ... Copied to Clipboard!
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#41 | Post #41 was unavailable or deleted. |
Lord_Wombat 07/08/18 11:33:03 PM #42: |
tote_all posted...
Lord_Wombat posted...It's a little metal rod that went in her arm that magically kept her from getting pregnant. I have no idea how it works, so yeah, I guess I'm just terrible I don't know the details on how it works, I didn't mean the details of when/why she got it or whatever. But based on your posts: https://tenor.com/v7KI.gif --- "Sorry, sorry, just... Being a dick... Sometimes it's hard to resist the urge to ruin other people's lives... -William Murderface ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Mr_Hakubi 07/08/18 11:33:08 PM #43: |
You come 1st. Don't do anything you dont want to.
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RiKuToTheMiGhtY 07/08/18 11:37:33 PM #44: |
Tell her your reasons why and how you feel about being 51 when the baby is a teenager.
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On_The_Edge 07/08/18 11:39:55 PM #45: |
Have another kid man. The more the merrier. As long as you can afford it
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awesome999 07/08/18 11:40:13 PM #46: |
My wife wanted a kid and I didn't
So we compromised and had a kid --- When it's kids, it's "bullying" but if it were adults, it's stalking, harassment, assault, criminal threats and just general abuse. -Tmk ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Turtlebread 07/08/18 11:42:38 PM #47: |
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XXHornDogXX 07/08/18 11:48:12 PM #48: |
Take this to Reddit/relationships to actually get some serious responses and advice instead of a bunch of immature 15 years here asking if they can fuck your wife instead.
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thronedfire2 07/08/18 11:49:23 PM #49: |
check your condoms for holes
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kingdrake2 07/09/18 12:10:19 AM #50: |
MedzXVIII posted...
LockeMonster posted...Wait, 33 is too old for kids? That's when most people get married nowadays. i don't believe in marriage very much, people just live with each other and have kids. if anything they just do it for the tax deductions. --- I'm pretty much Stu from Rugrats making pudding at 4 in morning because I've lost control of my life - Polycosm ... Copied to Clipboard!
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