Current Events > Does anyone get tired of attracting the same people over and over?

(+) Yeah! (+)

The friends that I hang out with.. are introverts who have no drive to better themselves and are really boring. I'm a boring guy too, but that's exactly why I don't want to hang out with people like me(I do have drive).

I have an ex co worker from a previous job who asks me to meet him at the same restaurant every weekend.. and he wears the same clothes and awful bowl cut.. We don't have a ton in common outside of games, and occasionally talk about games and catching up with work. But its all the same and boring.. It's especially bad when he starts talking about his PS4 collection, which I don't have and give a fuck. It's gotten so bad that I make excuses to not hang out with him to the same place. I feel bad.. I don't mind being acquaintance. but I'd rather be alone than hang out with someone who is super boring and can't have a simulating conversation with. And he's gotten so clingy when I don't meet up with him for the past two weeks. I'm going to lose a job reference if I lose this guy.. but I hope people understand how i feel.

I'm just tired of attracting the same people.. I want to hang out with people as the same level me or better, socially and I can learn a thing or two. I have friends that do fit that mold, but they live far away or have their own friends. It sucks.
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so cool people don't want to hang out with you because you're not cool enough? i mean, im surprised you didnt learn this stuff in kindergarten. if you want advice, id say to focus on ways you can bring value to people.
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No_U_L7 posted...

so cool people don't want to hang out with you because you're not cool enough? i mean, im surprised you didnt learn this stuff in kindergarten. if you want advice, id say to focus on ways you can bring value to people.

not talking about 'cool people.' Just regular people with social lives. People that make plans mutually with me to do fun stuff. I've had other friends in the past where I initiate all the hang outs and they'd go to all of them, but they hardly ever make plans. When you've had these kind of friends for a long ass time(think middle/high school), its hard to see a way out of this. You would feel like you are fucked forever and that all the social people have their own circle of friends and are closed off from everyone else.
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It sounds like you are judgemental and nobody smart enough would want to hang around you
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_____Cait posted...

It sounds like you are judgemental and nobody smart enough would want to hang around you

No, i don't want to hang out with boring introverted losers with no drive in life. In my group of friends, I actually try to initiate hangouts, but now I've just given up and said fuck it, I'd rather be alone. And then I have that boring coworker who wants to meet up in the same fucking restaurant, order the same fucking burger wearing the same fucking clothes and haircut since the first day I'v eknown him, and talk about games I don't give a fuck about.

Who doesn't want to hang out with people who aren't depressing, have a social life, and can actually push them to be better people? Someone remotely fun. Everybody does.

If you have outgoing friends who are decent conversationalists, like to go out and hang out other than the movies or a burger joint, and try to improve themselves and help motivate you, you keep them. If you have loser friends that have no drive to better themselves and stuck in the same place, and are a bore to talk with/aren't simulating, then you may have to cut them.
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Oh this is bait.

Really boring bait
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I think I understand what you're saying. I don't think you're being judgmental, but most people seem to be happy just trucking along in their day to day lives. It's not all that common to be driven to do more, be more, experience more, which is probably why when you do all the planning people might be down, but don't ever even think to plan things outside the same old stuff themselves. Or to plan anything, because being an adult is busy and tiring and a lot of people just chill when they get downtime even if they wouldn't mind doing something else.

If you really want to meet different types, maybe look for some meet up groups in your area or something along those lines.

L621 posted...

I think I understand what you're saying. I don't think you're being judgmental, but most people seem to be happy just trucking along in their day to day lives. It's not all that common to be driven to do more, be more, experience more, which is probably why when you do all the planning people might be down, but don't ever even think to plan things outside the same old stuff themselves. Or to plan anything, because being an adult is busy and tiring and a lot of people just chill when they get downtime even if they wouldn't mind doing something else.

If you really want to meet different types, maybe look for some meet up groups in your area or something along those lines.

I agree. I need to try more, but the older you get the harder it is to make friends too. I just want to better myself and stop being depressed and live a normal life. I want to have a connection with people who can help me be more social, and do fun stuff with on a regular basis. True friends are hard to find. I don't mean to offend anybody here. This isn't bait. It's a rant. When you've been this way for most of your life, it's hard to get out of that mindset or even think its possible to get out of. It feels like a dream.
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If this is real, then youre gonna run into a whole new problem by doing that. Youre gonna find the extroverts who try to dominate everything, overcompensate, lie, cheat, etc.

You better get used to all kinds of people, because the grass seems greener on the other side, but it has a whole slew of other problems that are just as hnpleasent as your current situation.
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Start having sec with your boring friends. It kills the time at least.
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Yes. I mostly attract people who wind up being borrowers or some kind of addict. I ghost those people.
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yeah, it's getting tiring at this point to keep attracting all the hot girls, it's like just give me a break for a day or two lol
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lol I've met a lot of people. I'm not sheltered. Not all extroverts are like that and not all introverts are boring. But its hard to get the feeling out that most people who are social already have their own circle of friends.. and its hard to make friends the older you get. Not trying to make excuses, but this is true to a degree. I have some good friends at work, and other coworkers even call us best friends, but I would never ask them to hang out because I know they won't as they already have their own big group of family and friends.
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Initiate a meetup and only invite those you want, then
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KILBOTz posted...

Start having sec with your boring friends. It kills the time at least.

Nah, I'd rather watch movies by myself instead of with them, or play videogames at this point. I'll save more time doing the things i enjoy instead of boring conversations about the same shit every time we meet up. I would rather die alone than hang out with someone that is like me.
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I get you. I think you need to realize that most people aren't like you, though. They are definitely out there, but your average person isn't motivated like this, especially as they get older and settled. Finding friends like the kind you want takes more effort on your part. I was a much more unhappy person before I accepted these things and found different ways to connect with people that I enjoyed being around. Hobbies with social aspects and trying a few meet up groups might help get you started at least meeting people with your mindset.

L621 posted...

I get you. I think you need to realize that most people aren't like you, though. They are definitely out there, but your average person isn't motivated like this, especially as they get older and settled. Finding friends like the kind you want takes more effort on your part. I was a much more unhappy person before I accepted these things and found different ways to connect with people that I enjoyed being around. Hobbies with social aspects and trying a few meet up groups might help get you started at least meeting people with your mindset.

yeah, just trying to find where i can meet these people. I realize that most people as adults don't initiate that far too. I'm so used to being alone, its to get out of that mindset of reaching out too.

Thanks man. I'll think of a way. I've got to start going out more on the weekends and join a club or some kind of organization to better myself.
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