Current Events > those who have super low self-esteem

(+) Yeah! (+)

how do you silence the voice in your head that everything you say/do is stupid and to stop caring about people judging you constantly?

more importantly, how do you stop letting critical feedback destroying your day yet not appreciating positive feedback?
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I confide in my close friend who is a White Russian
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MacadamianNut3 posted...

I confide in my close friend who is a White Russian

dark/spiced rum is my close friend

it also makes me realise that i overthink everything and that other people have similar insecurities
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I don't have a surefire way of dealing with self esteem. I just accept that I don't have high self esteem and that it's not necessary to live well enough.

As for criticism, I've never had an issue. Basically anything anyone could tell me I've already told myself.

I will say that I am honestly emotionally detached from myself, so I don't take things personally and nothing really stings. On the flip side, I'm emotionally blunted to the good things as well.

fuck em
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i have accepted that i am trash and will always be trash
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just listen to the other voice telling you that no one cares about you enough to judge you for anything stupid you might say

haven't figured it out.

I think of things that make me cringe that i've done over 15 years ago. And it can harm my sleep.
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AlephZero posted...

i have accepted that i am trash and will always be trash

Yeah, pretty much. I mean, I haven't found a way to lie to myself to protect my self esteem, at any rate
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AlephZero posted...

i have accepted that i am trash and will always be trash

tamashiini posted...

Yeah, pretty much. I mean, I haven't found a way to lie to myself to protect my self esteem, at any rate

doesn't that get you down about life?

Paper_Okami posted...

And it can harm my sleep.

my sleep can be p terrible, around one day a month i'll get insomnia
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Parappa09 posted...

my sleep can be p terrible, around one day a month i'll get insomnia

i am in a near constant state of tiredness
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Paper_Okami posted...

Parappa09 posted...

my sleep can be p terrible, around one day a month i'll get insomnia

i am in a near constant state of tiredness

i do but i get under 7 hours of sleep per day, so that's probably why
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I just keep in mind that when i finish my transformation into a K-pop idol then literally all my problems will go away
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Two_Dee posted...

I just keep in mind that when i finish my transformation into a K-pop idol then literally all my problems will go away

at least you'll turn into a k-pop idol one day

i'll forever be painfully average and horizontal in everything
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I post on ce
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You have to fight it. Tell yourself it's not true.

Try writing down some of your negative thoughts. Then, when you're feeling more positive, go back through then and write down why they're false. That'll be your ammo the next time the thought comes around.

It's a mental battle that takes time. It will become reactionary one day. Any negative thought will be shot down instantly by a positive one. Look up cognitive behavioral therapy.
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No idea.

My buddies gf is always telling me how easily I could get girls. I don't see myself that way though so it doesn't really change a thing for me. I mean I still get laid but according to some girls I know I should be able to get a great girl anytime I want. Funny how all the girls who say it are married or in ltrs with someone else though.
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I just acted like who I wanted to be instead of who I felt like until my feeling fell in line. Now Im the shit foo
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Parappa09 posted...

how do you silence the voice in your head that everything you say/do is stupid and to stop caring about people judging you constantly?

I don't
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Btw I never lost the voice. I just took the power away from it. Which I prefer cause it keeps me humble but I can tell it to fuck off if it's trying to drag me down a rabbit hole
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Shelhamer92 posted...

You have to fight it. Tell yourself it's not true.

Try writing down some of your negative thoughts. Then, when you're feeling more positive, go back through then and write down why they're false. That'll be your ammo the next time the thought comes around.

It's a mental battle that takes time. It will become reactionary one day. Any negative thought will be shot down instantly by a positive one. Look up cognitive behavioral therapy.

this is actually a good idea, but sometimes i feel more emotional when i'm down that i'll disregard the positives even though they are completely logical

CanuckCowboy posted...

I don't see myself that way though so it doesn't really change a thing for me. I mean I still get laid but according to some girls I know I should be able to get a great girl anytime I want.

do you think it's just a confidence issue? like you're still getting laid so it's not like it's not happening

Lost_All_Senses posted...

I just acted like who I wanted to be instead of who I felt like until my feeling fell in line. Now Im the shit foo

i try and do that but i suffer from imposter syndrome

i'm pretty sure my new job will find out that i'm not as good as they thought i'd be
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Parappa09 posted...

i'm pretty sure my new job will find out that i'm not as good as they thought i'd be

Nobody is as good at their job as they think/act like they are
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I don't.

Once a failure, always a failure.
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Find comfort in your accomplishments and realize that people will dislike you and say things out of spite, envy, ignorance or simply project their own insecurities on you.

Most people lead mundane and pitiful lives and are oblivious to it.

The same people who think they could be a CEO of a Fortune 500 company or successfully lead a nation are the same people who get home from work to kick back in their cat piss stained lazy boy with a fat wife, watch tv, cook dinner in the microwave and havent read a book in over a decade.
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I just sit around not doing anything.
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I don't. I appreciate that because otherwise I'd just be arrogant and no one likes someone who thinks they are better than they are I've found.
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AlephZero posted...

i have accepted that i am trash and will always be trash

This. I just fake being not-trash. Sometimes it works so well i even end up fooling myself
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Therapy
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Parappa09 posted...

MacadamianNut3 posted...

I confide in my close friend who is a White Russian

dark/spiced rum is my close friend

it also makes me realise that i overthink everything and that other people have similar insecurities

Honey Jack. It makes you sweet.
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I haven't really. While I'm not super depressed I always worry about what people think of me and get really sad when I find out someone who's been nice to me was just for show, and in actuality they talked shit about me and/or thought I was annoying in some way. It hurts.

But I don't know how to stop caring. I feel like I may not have any friends in my life at some point but maybe that's for the best. Won't have to worry if they actually are friends or not.
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I work to replace my negative thoughts with positive truths about myself.
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In my case, my plans in life had to fall apart around me all at once, leaving me with a crisis that forced me to acknowledge the reality of my situation - it was either that or off myself. That wasn't the point at which I learned to ignore it, but slowly I learned to push that voice further and further back in my mind. It helped motivate me to pursue other things, writing and exercising, then finally finding the will to get into therapy to deal with all of the emotional damage that fuels this self-loathing.

I still don't think highly of myself, but I've moved away from active hatred at least. I still reflexively question praise I receive, but criticism doesn't get to me much either - probably because apathy and emotional repression are major parts of my problems.
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Daily affirmations.
Write something positive about yourself 25 times in the morning. It really works.
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scar the 1 posted...

Therapy

i've been thinking about this, but i think attending a support group would be better (and a lot less expensive), or even volunteering for a men's mental health support charity

just reading some of the other posts in the topic makes me feel better that people also go through similar mindsets and thoughts as i do

LinksLiege posted...

In my case, my plans in life had to fall apart around me all at once, leaving me with a crisis that forced me to acknowledge the reality of my situation - it was either that or off myself. That wasn't the point at which I learned to ignore it, but slowly I learned to push that voice further and further back in my mind. It helped motivate me to pursue other things, writing and exercising, then finally finding the will to get into therapy to deal with all of the emotional damage that fuels this self-loathing.

I still don't think highly of myself, but I've moved away from active hatred at least. I still reflexively question praise I receive, but criticism doesn't get to me much either - probably because apathy and emotional repression are major parts of my problems.

i'm glad that you finally made it to therapy. i feel like taking that step is probably the hardest

thinking about it, I haven't seen you online very much for the past month or so
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Parappa09 posted...

i've been thinking about this, but i think attending a support group would be better (and a lot less expensive), or even volunteering for a men's mental health support charity

I have no experience with support groups, but I really think everyone should do therapy for a year. It's really useful for literally everyone.
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I remember that I have a limited time on this earth and that wasting it being scared of not perfectly fitting into societal norms is some of the most pointless bullshit.
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Remember [you]

Never forget

Just believe in yourself

Not in the [you] that I believe in or in the [me] that you believe in

Believe in the [you] who believes in [you]
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Parappa09 posted...

i'm glad that you finally made it to therapy. i feel like taking that step is probably the hardest

thinking about it, I haven't seen you online very much for the past month or so

The choice to go was definitely the hardest. In my case my problems are set up in a way that leaves things more or less fine most of the time - but when it's not fine, it's really not fine. There's other stuff wrapped up in there too, which I had no idea were connected to this until just a couple weeks ago.

And yeah, I just haven't been coming here much lately.
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realize that most people are trash with unearned confidence, so might as well just enjoy life instead of make it harder for myself for no reason.

I just tell myself that I'm awesome and everyone else sucks.

Eventually you start to kinda believe yourself.

That's probably not the best way to go about it, but oh well, lol.
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