Poll of the Day > The Legend of Zelda is a fuckers game. But I know how to fix it.

(+) Yeah! (+)

It is just objectively bad, but it could be objectively good with just 3 easy tweaks.

#1 the main character

The main character is just a totally unrelatable train-wreck. You need to switch it up a bit. First of all, in order to help this ladyboy look more like a man, you need to give him a moustache. second of all, most gamers are not tall and skinny, so maybe make him a little shorter and stockier. third, he looks like a fucking employee in santa's workshop, so maybe make him look more like a working class dude. give him some overalls and a baseball cap.

#2 the main villain

The main villain is just dumb. Hes a pig man? big whoop. nobody is scared of pigs. totally just remove his ass and replace him with a dragon man. this will also make it a lot more acceptable for him to go around kidnapping princesses since that is something dragons do. when was the last time you heard a story about a pig stealing a princess that WASNT in the legend of zelda?

#3 the setting
i think its obvious the only really good thing about hyrule is hyrule castle so just remove the rest of the map. i know it could get boring just exploring the same setting the entire game, so maybe add in some paintings on the wall that the main character can jump into and then they transport him to another world.

bam. youve just made the legend of zelda into an objectively good game.

More tits plz
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Oops_All_Berrys posted...

More tits plz

zelda is fine. she can stay. the game needs a princess to rescue.

another thought

the triforce is comprised of 3 items. 3 fucking items that you spend the entire goddamn game trying to get.

there needs to be MORE

maybe replace the triforce with something else like stars and put at least 100 of them there, and provide people with different challenges to find them all

I c wut u did thar
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I'm disappointed in myself for taking until point #3 to see what you did there. In my defense, I didn't actually finish reading point #1, which might have given it away much more so than #2 did.
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adjl posted...

what you did there

You mean how he basically described Super Mario for the Nintendo 64.
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EclairReturns posted...

adjl posted...

what you did there

You mean how he basically described Super Mario for the Nintendo 64.

Yes, that.
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EclairReturns posted...

adjl posted...

what you did there

You mean how he basically described Super Mario for the Nintendo 64.

why do you do this
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Dumb.
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Yeah. Point one gave it away, but point 2 solidified it. Point 3 was extra fluff. But point 4 was like overkill.. Haha...
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That sounds amazing. Pitch it to Nintendo! I'd play the crap out of that game! Maybe in a sequel the hero can take a vacation.
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SpeedDemon20 posted...

That sounds amazing. Pitch it to Nintendo! I'd play the crap out of that game! Maybe in a sequel the hero can take a vacation.

As long as they don't jump the shark and go to space
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SpeedDemon20 posted...

That sounds amazing. Pitch it to Nintendo! I'd play the crap out of that game! Maybe in a sequel the hero can take a vacation.

Or have a dream.
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Greenfox111 posted...

why do you do this

Because I'm angry, miserable, and alone, and no one will answer me if I respond normally, but they'll respond if I make a stupid comment even if it makes them think I'm autistic.
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EclairReturns posted...

even if it makes them think I'm autistic.

Everyone is a lil autistic.
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